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Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in and also are “0”; birthdays are not a big deal.

A woman once told me that I had to be nicer to her because it was her “birthday week.” Are you fucking kidding me?

Men are better than women at having birthdays. Men are so much better than women at birthdays that I don’t even know when my birthday is. [Read more]

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Download Dick’s Voicemail #7

Men, thanks for the calls. Women, stop calling me. [Read more]

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Talk to Dick live on Dickline.com this Friday 2-3PM Pacific Time.

Taste another sampling of my voice-man-mail. More death threats per podcast than any other on the net.

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Download Dick’s Voicemail #3

The topic this week is: what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever seen a woman do? Call and tell me what it was.

I received over a thousand voice mails in the last five days, and I will be posting them all week.

Next week’s topic: what is the stupidest thing you’ve ever seen a woman do. Call in and tell me.