Alec Baldwin: Father of the Year
It’s not often that I, Dick Masterson, bestow an award like Father of the Year. In fact this is the only time I’ve ever done it. But who knows what the future holds. Submit your nominations for 2008 today!
Alec Baldwin, legendary for his roles in Beetlejuice and She’s Having a Baby, recently left a passionate voice mail for his 11 year old daughter. When I think of “father” I think “passion”. Do you know what a father’s role is? To protect a useless little girl from a world of horrible things. Without a father, who would beat off the hordes of horny boys young girls naturally attract?
Being a father is just like being in the movie The 300. That’s awesome. Way to go Dad’s.
Here’s a quote from Alec Baldwin’s voicemail.
“This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother”
Amen, brother. The amount of crap young ladies pull with their cellphone is staggering, no matter how esoteric it’s worded.
Look, fatherhood is an accident. There has never been a time where a man looked at a woman and said, “You want to be a mother? Yea, that’s a good idea.” And he wasn’t sarcastic when he said it. Nine times out of ten, it’s accidental.
As a man, when I listen to Alec Baldwin’s passionate discourse with his young daughter, which I’m linking to at the end of this article, I think of two things. The first thing is, “Hey, good for you buddy. Here’s a man-thanks from the rest of us. Someone’s got to tell this woman this shit eventually and you’re the only one who’s not going to lose sex over it.” The second thing I think is, “Who fucked this up in the first place.”
Like always, to me the answer is obvious: Kim Bassinger.
Women fuck up everything. The Garden of Eden, The Beatles, Mel Gibson, Iraq; women are the vagina in the ointment of life. Here’s another thing women fucked up. What kind of mother posts a recording of her baby’s daddy flipping the fuck out on the internet? I’ll tell you exactly what kind of mother.
Every mother.
Women are the worst parents in the world and ten times worse than all other types of parents. Women are so possessive over their children that they would eat their father’s heads if they weren’t so goddamn afraid of the Repo Man. Women will do anything and everything to get a father’s influence out of their child’s life. If Kim Basinger would stoop so low as to post this shit on the internet, then what else has she done? Has she taught her 11 year old daughter about sex? Who’s to say she hasn’t! Women shouldn’t be taught about sex until they’re 25.
Has Alec Baldwin ever posted scandalous and embarrassing shit perpetrated by Kim Basinger against his daughter on the internet? Does Alec Baldwin have a website called, “The Time Kim Basinger Thought About Shooting Some Tequila While She Was Pregnant.com”? No. Of course not. Alec Baldwin is so classy he could tell a Muppet to go fuck itself and I would probably buy it.
All women have thought about shooting Tequila while they’re pregnant. Women are a weak and corruptible bunch. Alec Baldwin is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Father of the Year.
Baldwin Lays it Down Like A Man
The Aftermath
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April 25th, 2007 at 4:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
SotS, there is no problem with this medium. You have the ability to open several windows at once, so while you’re reading inane comments from women you can simultaneously use the internet for its main purpose.
April 25th, 2007 at 6:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I was so sure that’s what you’re linking to I didn’t even need to hover the mouse over it.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7c1de32f2fdd7
From the days of Ancient Rome, when the paterfamilias could murder his children or sell them into slavery, to the times we live in, when a father yelling at his whore daughter is considered abuse.
Now speaking seriously, Dick Masterson strikes me as a chivalrous bastard like Wolfe. I though he hated women, but now I realise that nothing could be further from the truth. It seems that he actually loves women and wants to a return to the chivalry of the 1950s. “Protect the little girl from horny boys”. How chivalrous of you!
I am leaving this board because I now realize that it contains nothing but pussies and chivalrous cunts who want a return to the good old days of opening doors to women and dying for them, like in that “Titanic”. Sorry, but I’m not interested in that. Instead of cuddling women like in the past, I want women to fend for themselves and be regarded as nothing special…like men always were throughout history.
I can predict all of you saying “don’t let the door hit your ass in the way out”, or something like that, but the reality is that I don’t really want sympathy or understanding from a bunch of pussy-whipped chivalrous ncunts like you: you are not real men in my book. Also, unlike “Female” I actually leave when I say I do, so this is really my last post. Farewell.
P Coderch
April 27th, 2007 at 2:36 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
my god, you’re are so very wrong and so very hilarious hahahaha.
April 27th, 2007 at 4:23 am - IP Man-Hash: dcbedfacb2da0
Hey female, you’re cute when you’re angry ;D Just adorible, like a sputtering little Japanese schoolgirl as she rushes off to her classes to feign intelligence mere minutes after her prude self sucked off the entire Lacrosse ;D team.
“my god, you’re are so very wrong and so very hilarious hahahaha.”
You sound like a little girl. Of course, that’s what you are in the inside, babycakes ;D A baby trapped in a whore’s body ;D ;D ;D
April 27th, 2007 at 4:25 am - IP Man-Hash: dcbedfacb2da0
Sometimes you say something to get a point across or to be funny. Just look at female here. She’s a laugh riot ;D
April 27th, 2007 at 6:19 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
I like him!
April 27th, 2007 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: aaaa8e6ade09a
You got it right. That is what every women is. A child.
No Doubt - What you waiting for
April 27th, 2007 at 10:55 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
I’d be pretty broken up if I actually gave a shit, but real men are too self-assured to care about what other people think about them. We leave that to neurotic chicks. (I know, that’s redundant, but you get my point.)
April 27th, 2007 at 12:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7008012dd84e5
Sorry to see you go man. :(
April 27th, 2007 at 7:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 415275e652d82
I couldn’t agree less with his viewpoint but as Masterson himself might say, taking a stand for what you believe in with complete disregard for what others may think is a very manly thing to do. Godspeed, friend. Better to die with honour than live a lie.
April 30th, 2007 at 9:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8f4c4fa24ce64
These feminist are amazing.
May 1st, 2007 at 1:35 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Think you mean nauseating.
May 13th, 2007 at 12:45 am - IP Man-Hash: f9a95ff5125f6
I love the site, but there is only one person on the planet I hate and it happens to be Alec Baldwin. How could you award this piece of trash anything greater than a penis pump? I’m not mad about how he talked to his daughter, that’s how all drunks are, the guy is just an all around douche.
May 13th, 2007 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 760a91233a652
Well we are men, not sheep, and all have our own personal views. Still, though, when you really look into it, it seems that he was very, very frustrated from his bitch-wife turning his own daughter against him.
Think about it… what is more traumatizing:
One little incident where he expresses his exasparated anger against that whore gold-digging slut of his (wife, mind you)
OR
His slutty stupid whore of a wife pissing over all that is sacred… actually USING her own daughter against her father. Lying, cheating, doing anything she can because she’s a spiteful bitch who just can’t see any view but her own.
Even if her view encompasses brainwashing little children.
Just like our public school system. Men are better than women.
June 10th, 2007 at 4:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: de7fd53f10710
I fuckin hate women. I’m a (non-gay) homosexual, and I hate cunts cuz they hate homos…they go crazy when I won’t give them any attention. They’ll do all kinds of passive-aggressive cunt-stuff to try to distract me when I’m in public (mall, bus, street, corridor, gym, library, you name it). They even collide with me and stick their cuntish legs out to try to trip me…all to get me to look at them. Fuckin cunts should be burned alive. Any other homos here who agree, pls speak up (but gays and other cunt-lovers shut the fuck up.
June 10th, 2007 at 5:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 698946331b692
I’ve known women who could make more coherent statements than that.
June 10th, 2007 at 6:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: de7fd53f10710
I’ve known women who could make more coherent statements than that.
If you don’t want to distinguish between gay and non-gay homos, then go fuck yourself buddy.
June 10th, 2007 at 7:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5716752d679a7
You mean like the happy ones and the unhappy ones?
June 11th, 2007 at 2:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 698946331b692
Perhaps, Doubt, perhaps.