All Women Hate Guns
Guns are awesome. In fact, a gun is the manliest thing there is.
I take that back. The manliest thing there is would be a hot car or some kind of super motorcycle with guns attached to it. In that case, it’s a case of chicken and egg. Is the car manlier because of the guns or are the guns manlier because of the car? What about a tank? Where does it play into this manly game?
Wherever the fuck it wants. It’s a tank.
All men like guns and think they’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to man-humanity. Did you know that without guns 99% of people would be slaves? Guns ended slavery and that’s 100% true.
Before the invention of the gun, mankind lived in a feudal society. I have seen the film Braveheart many times and I become more and more certain each time I see it that feudal life was fucked. You can thank guns for the end of that dicketry.
As a man, it is only natural you thank things for what they’ve done for you. If you were a woman, you would have to figure out some way to have sex with the invention of the gun. That’s the only way women show their gratitude: lackluster sex.
Oh wait, I’m just kidding because all women hate guns and would never thank them.
Like most everything that’s good for them, women hate guns. It could be because they’re loud. Women hate loud things don’t they? Things like fun parties, and football games, and little yappy, worthless dogs that give them an excuse to refer to themselves as “mommy” about six years too soon. No, that can’t be it. Maybe women hate guns because they’re complicated — guns mind you. Not women. Women are as simple broken vending machines. No matter what you put into them, you don’t get anything you want.
Guns have moving parts and require care-taking. Recently, I heard a female comedian say vaginas are complicated though, so that’s probably not the reason. I could hear her saying it crystal clear too because no one was laughing.
The truth is that women enjoy being in danger. That’s why they hate guns. Guns are safe so women hate them. It’s logic. Without guns you, me, and everyone in the world would be on constant alert for the Hun Alarm that would jolt us out of bed in the middle of the night and let us eloquently know our whole town was about to get burned to the goddamn ground.
Thank guns and thank your man military that doesn’t happen.
That’s also why women love safety belts so much. Safety belts are dangerous just like guns aren’t. They make women drive like chimpanzees on speed with absolutely no regard for anyone’s personal safety. Have you ever seen a woman drive without a safety belt? No. And you’ve never seen a woman drive worth a shit.
I rest my case.
Related Articles:
















October 18th, 2006 at 4:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Sony, you’ve made it clear you’ve contempt for private property rights, and no desire to spend 10s googling to back your position.
TV no prob. Can go a few months. Newspapers? Tough. But I’ve gone a week.
I like reading newspapers, since they tend to be pretty good summaries of what’s going on. I read 3 dailies, 3 weeklies. I also read the Daily Tely, The Guardian, The Sunday Times, the NY Time, the WaPo on the net.
Went 4 years when I went to high school in Canada. Went about 6 months in Europe 2 years ago. Dunno if that suffices.
What you say above is absolute rubbish. I’ll respond, but I’ll do so on my blog because I’m not going to screw up Dick’s traffic and searches on this issue. That’d be wrong of me — and you. You’ll be welcome to respond. I’ll even apply whatever rules you want to suggest to that one single thread.
-wolfe
October 18th, 2006 at 4:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I will not respond to anything on your blog again. I’ve stated that. And this is unrelated to the gun or historical debate.
It’s won’t make amends for what I’ve already written. Google, and users thereof, shall judge. Though it is precisely connected to Dick’s originary post.
In retrospect, this, in my view, would have been a fitting entry for my desolate blog. Though inappropriate as a response to your comment in this thread.
October 18th, 2006 at 4:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Another one. Where do you get them from? Don’t gun owners have contempt for everyone else’s lives, selling them off at gun shows like that? The right to life supercedes that to property.
Unless you’re you’re NRA. What are plebs’ lives to you then against your ‘God given right’ (to be issued a rifle in the army)? What are SCourt’s interpretations of the constitution worth against John Butt’s and other’s words?
October 18th, 2006 at 5:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
That’s your choice. In that case, you’re welcome to make whatever hoplophobic assertions you wish to; I’ll then ignore them. I patiently reply to every assertion you make and ask you questions which you often reject and… surprise, you rarely answer. I do give you credit for saying you want to destroy the ability of a dad to give his son a family hunting rifle. Fair enough. Very womanly, but fair enough.
No, your posts (on guns; other posts are generally sound) are generally nonsense. You whinge about my citing DoJ statistics and act all baffled and girlish when, well, yes, the stats and papers are there at the DOJ/BoJS. Google ‘em.
There are many problems with firearms, and we need a serious gun control effort in America — too few grasp the Weaver stance; too few have as tight control as Cooper’s 4 rules would suggest. All of these things suggest lack of control of guns by legal owners.
But that’s what gun control is: two steady hands.
Not governments regulating books (you make false claims about that, based on the sites you’ve linked — e.g. “gunguy” with its ‘transactions’, which amount to sales of books and knives). Not governments regulating guns, unless there are genuine loopholes. And they’re aren’t.
You say we should move to a womanly version of society where “Big Mommy”, the State, asserts all that can happen.
Well, a number of us don’t like that. A number of us want to take our sons and nephews out in the fall, teach them how to shoot with care, and enjoy nature.
Sony, you’re a hoplophobe. Your lack of willingness to respond to a critique of your most recent post is telling. You’re a good guy; a bright guy; I respect your country and you. I don’t respect your views on guns. Not for a freaking nano-second.
-wolfe
October 19th, 2006 at 11:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
1. You’re a hoplophobe.
2. You’re a socialist.
3. Your thinking is womanly.
4. What you say above is absolute rubbish.
Poor form. You’re incidentally wrong on all acounts.
Poor form.
October 20th, 2006 at 2:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
No to both. Sir, you initiated the personal criticism. I responded in kind.
As for being wrong, no. A careful read of my response will raise a number of questions, and I’ll respond when I’ve time, on my blog. At the moment, I’m on Atlantic time, waiting for a fight and marveling at bluetooth+VNC.
Best,
-wolfe
October 20th, 2006 at 4:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
That’s cool. I’ve never had a laptop myself. Right now I’m saving for a new battery for the Peugeot and an AMD FX-60 to replace my current AMD A64. Either that or wait some more still and buy a new gfx card. I’m undecided.
Yes and no. I predict further debate with you on the topic of gun culture as difficultly tenable and rather pointless as far as conversion… err… conversation goes, in line with lack of progress thus far.
Either way, any personal criticism I may have addressed to you, if there was any, hardly bears comparison with those 4 little gems of yours.
Respect.
October 20th, 2006 at 4:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
And when I said drivel, I meant the NRA’s drivel. Which you had accurately inboked.
October 20th, 2006 at 4:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Crud. They’re harder to come by than hen’s teeth, from what catalogues I’ve seen. Even the FX-57.
October 20th, 2006 at 6:09 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I keep my laptop mostly packed. I use my Nokia 770 + BT keyboard + VNC to route through my home machine. 800×480 isn’t bad when it’s only 8oz and 5 or so hours of battery life — 10 if I swap, and the spare is 2oz tops. (8 oz is like 225 grams or something).
-wolfe
October 20th, 2006 at 7:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Even cooler. And you were lamenting you can’t afford a few dvd-ram disks. You’re one loaded Wolfe (nobody tell Female, she might feel some endangered loaded wolfe protectionism is suddenly in order).
It will be a bit of a fiddle taking the thing apart again and putting it back together once more after I fit the new proc. in. But I’m counting my chicks before they’re hatched.
October 20th, 2006 at 8:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I’ve been using my same old, plain old Nokia 5110 for years now, so my options are a tad more limited in comparison.
October 20th, 2006 at 8:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
But still, I might still be able to afford, and be willing to even if it is a stretch, not to compromise backing up important stuff with half-measures. Unless of course, they’re not really that important.
October 25th, 2006 at 10:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Wolfe, you know I’m spot on re. your gun culture. You just can’t accept it. On principle.
October 25th, 2006 at 10:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
No, you’re laughably ignorant. But that’s ok, it provides amusement.
-wolfe
October 25th, 2006 at 11:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I see.
October 28th, 2006 at 2:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d75b81ec505f
Do men need a gun to be a man?
man is man always.. with or without a Gun..
why he is afraid of saying this.. ? i didnt know…
dude be a man…even without those silly toys..
try to understand you are men even without that gun..on your motorcycle..
October 28th, 2006 at 10:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 7886347cceaa9
What the fuck?
-Strength and Honor-
October 28th, 2006 at 1:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
wow.
October 28th, 2006 at 4:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I’ve been reading up on unconventional and less conventional weaponry. All manner of shit ranging from white phosphorous plume bombs and dense inert metal explosives (dime) to chemical weapons arsenals of nerve agents like sarin gas and past historical instances of use thereof.
It seems WilliePete was used indiscriminately, as in complete and flagrant disregard for the safety of civilians if not on fully sentient purpose outright, during the 2004 offensive on Falluja as many immolated bodies of both presumed combatants as well as apparent civilians were garbed in intact clothing.
Some were quick to postulate that charred bodies accountable by conventional explosive ordnance had been dressed up exclusively for propaganda purposes.
Sarin gas was used extensively during the Iran-Iraq war by the Iraqis and is believed to have been supplied by western nations, or expertise and technology for the production thereof.
What imaginative and morbidly elaborate methods of cowardly warfare.
Disgusting.