Are Those Catepillars on Your Face or Crayon?
Have you ever seen women’s eyebrows? I can sum them up in one word: fucking gross.
It’s hilarious that women will do everything short of sewing a giant, fuck-off, red A for “Attention Whore” on the clothing of women who get their breasts enhanced, but women can’t stop fucking with their eyebrows. It’s the same thing.
Oh wait it’s not. It’s the same thing except one is gross and one is gorgeous.
Of all the stupid, time-wasting, bullshit, masturbatory exercises women engage in for the sake of Cosmetique, eyebrow art is by far the stupidest and most masturbatory. Who are women gardening their eyebrows for anyway? Men? Do any men subscribe to Hot Eyebrows Monthly? I’ve never even heard of that publication and I’ve heard of a lot of them; so I doubt it.
How about women then? No I’m pretty sure it isn’t women either. Women don’t look other women in the face in the first place.
That’s not common knowledge either, that women don’t look other women in the eye when they’re speaking to each other, but it is true. See, women always bitch about how men constantly stare at their chests while completely dominating them in any conversation, but women are exactly the same. It’s a species thing. It’s got nothing to do with sex.
It’s the same way artists and advertisers utilize white space to manipulate the eye. There are certain things the human gaze is simply drawn to — magnetically. White space on the one hand and in the other, boobs. Don’t let women make you feel bad for being a human being.
It must be caterpillars then. Women shave their eyebrows to make sure caterpillars don’t try to have sex with their faces while they’re sleeping.
I guess that’s crazy isn’t it! Well, moisturizer and anti wrinkle creams don’t do shit and women still use them. Is that less crazy than plucking your eyebrows due to a caterpillar narcofornophobia? That means a fear of caterpillars having sex with your eyebrows in your sleep, or as women prefer to call it: date rape.
Women are all beautiful and special things — each one like a beautiful summer day or a classic Cadillac convertible — and they just don’t realize it. Women and their natural bodies and eyebrows disgust them. That’s why they do stupid shit like pencil them in and are extremely uptight all the time about walking around the house in a bra.
What is the big fucking deal about that anyway? It’s called a compromise.
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just because you see one person wtih drawn on eyebrows doesn’t mean they all draw them on!!
you base your opinions off of a small percentage of women.
to dick,
woman will always come to this site,
we will all find you and kill you one day too.
=)
An example of a hot woman: Amanda Peet. No eyebrow plucking there.
I’ve told them to quit shaving their eyebrows. They all have “beauty consultants” who make them think they should be doing this.
Dick said -”Women are all beautiful and special things — each one like a beautiful summer day or a classic Cadillac convertible — and they just don’t realize it.”
That is the sweetest thing I ever heard on this site.
See, Dick dose’nt hate women, he just understands how stupid you can(always are)be. Women are beautiful. take of the mask off and act reasonably and maybe we wouldnt have so much to say against you.Then again Im drunk.
obviously he does hate woman look how he talks about them, he will never agree with what a woman says even if she is right.
dumbass,
How old are you, J? I’m guessing preschooler here.
- Fragma - Just Like A Teardrop
No, you do it for social acceptance among your backstabbing female friends.
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I completely agree with this rant. Women look idiotic with drawn on, perpetually-surprised-looking eyebrows that melt on any day over eighty-degrees.
Why don’t you, as men, speak up and change this. After all, we women do it because we perceive men find it attractive! Isn’t that just a kick in the ass?!?
Sorry, I can explain that for the rest of you, but I’m sure you’ll need your crayons.
Dick…there’s two magic words in your comment you can use for yourself. They’re right after “and” and right before “my.”
This was absolutely the most well placed, well put and absolute perfect comment I have ever seen. The context and timing was that of instant legend.
Praise you, Mr. Matherson
Geez, I’m sorry that I ruined ‘it’ for you, on the other hand, literally, my sigh was that of relief…
*sigh*
Only a woman could ruin the humor in a fart/shit joke.
(P)oops!
Well at least taking matters into my own hands was more ‘intriguing’ this time…
It was just a joke. Sheeesh!
I don’t think they got the joke, but it was a good one. Sweet!
There’s a reason why I didn’t finish the ‘quote’ and that was because I didn’t mean ‘God-Dialogue’ per se, and was instead mis[s]-using the ’saying’ to illustrate the ‘first principle’ form of oral communication, i mean verbal, verbal communication…
Now if as in ‘God’s Ears’, Sonyad was referring to some other appendage and/or orifice, I am [again admittedly] intrigued…
I don’t think they got the joke, but it was a good one. Sweet!
Nope, no contradiction, no back-peddling…just a woman acknowledging the importance of being earnest, literally.
You called me on my bitchy-ness and I responded by attempting to qualify my comments so as to be less ‘inadvertent’.
After ‘your’ subsequent entries I allowed the…wisdom [for lack of a better, less complimentary word] to sink in and [cor-]responded accordingly with an honest declaration of respect, etc. for this young woman’s wherewith all.
Sometimes a cigar…
It appears like English but I cannot make any sense out of it.
All I saw of your post above was a poor attempt at sarcasm directed at sandra, it was a condesending little worm of a post designed not to encourage but to put-down. I called you up on that because I did not like it, your written tone was mocking and I didn’t see how sandra deserved that.
Even in this part of your post you continue to mock but seem to not realize that you are doing it:
Now it appears that you are contradicting yourself and back-peddling. Fine. Given that sometimes your posts are very hard to read and follow, it is also possible that I misunderstood.
Women, shut the fuck up and fuck off my site.
-Dick
No, but I am filling.
By all means, but you never struck me as ‘filler’.
May I fill in the dots?
Sandra, you most certainly ROCK! And I mean that - I only wish that the internet had been around when I was in my ‘formative’ years and, more importantly, that I had the confidence that you do - well done, and again: I really mean that.
See here/hear Luka, I am not about attention, I am interested in trying my hand at this medium, period.
In other words, I just want to join in.
Sandra is a remarkable young woman and has my respect.
In fact, I don’t bother commenting, etc. to anyone whom I don’t hold in [relatively] high regard - via any medium, including, but not limited to, the old-fashioned ‘from my lips to’…
If you can’t follow, extrapolate, make reference [without a highlighted 'quote'], then it may be you who is ‘guilty’ of inadvertent babble.
And, oh yeah, how’re you doing btw - nice to hear from you.
you know i was only kidding right? whatever, it doesnt matter.
‘Attack’ is such a strong word.
I was just pointing out that [self-proclaimed] ‘talent’ might be accompanied by impeccability, particularly when it refers to ‘multi-tasking literary’ ability.
Okay, so I’m a doryphor at heart, at least I never spent a whole comment telling everyone how industrious I felt myself to be after making several “puerile” entries.
No sir, I just kept digging a deeper hole with no regard, and/or advertisement of my own righteousness [self-perceived, or real, and not necessarily in that order].
Heave-ho’…
(Besides, I only pick on chicks my own ’size’, and Sandra’s much too much for the likes of me…out of the mouths of babes…)
Was that comment really necessary smrtpants? Why are you attacking sandra? Could it be she is getting more attention here than you are? Are we in female competition territory here?
If so, please don’t go there. I doubt Dick or any of the other guys here have much interest in reading posts of you pair bickering with each other.
Yet again you inadvertently revert to incoherent babbling. It is a feminine trait, isn’t it?
I know punctuation costs even more than vowels, but Sandra you must have saved enough of your allowance to be able to afford it…such a bright, “talented”, young woman as yourself.
I suspect that you’ll, no doubt, find some way to include excerpts from your “Viking Expeditions” paper in one, or fifty, of your future comments - I can hardly wait and truly count the minutes, give or take an ‘o’ [in 'count'].
yeah. talent. AND im on myspace. AND im doing a research paper on viking expeditions. yepp.
Can you, scarecrow?
The bitch has put up 52 comments in 2 days. Even the site’s owner doesn’t post that much.
im -thank god- comfortable with my own body. i dont get why woman do things like cut off some of their toes to fit in nice high heels or pencil in their eyebrows. its so dumb. most women (at least id like to think?) wouldnt go to such extremes. ehk.
Exactly.
That brings up a rather unsavory image.
-wolfe
A Mantastic Amen to that observation!
Speaking of men and eyebrows. It is actually men who do the most awful eyebrow faux pas. Drag queens fill in their eyebrows with wax so they can’t be seen, then pencil in fake ones about a centremetre above the actual eyebrow. A good gay friend told me this, so you would have to assume, being manly advice, that it is true. For more info, see Connie & Carla.
That wasn’t a man.
I was unfortunately acquainted with a so-called man who trimmed his eye brows into two thin, arching lines. He was strutting the shop floor like ‘da may-un’ until I told him he looked like a Romulan transvestite. Typical metrosexual pussy.
Or better yet, how do women expect to be taken seriously with boobs?
-Dick
Couldn’t agree more. At the end of the day, smearing un-natural combinations of chemicals on one’s face is never a good, or clever thing to do.
Personally I rarely even notice people’s eyebrows, unless they are penciled in. Then you can’t help but notice how fake and shitty they look.
How do they expect to be taken seriously with a face that resembles a half-finished coloring book?
Indeed.
-Big Al
Agreed.
Dick a work of both literal and satiric wit.
-Strength and Honor
Billy, you better believe that I’ve done that topic!
-Dick
How about all he women trying to act like sailors, they cuss like crazy and wear tramp stamps aka tatoos.
Really tatoos on women usualy do nothing but make them look more like sluts. I suppose that is the intention.
Girls just Say no to TrampStamps
This article took the words right out of my man mouth.
For starters, as far as eyebrows go, I and most men on here will agree, eyebrows on women look good thicker rather than thinner. Maybe if you have a unibrow or super bushy ones you can fuck with it. But women that I’ve dated, and I hear this from other guys too, always complement a man’s eyebrows.
“You have perfect eyebrows” I’ve heard more than once from more than one person. That’s because I don’t pluck the shit out of them and then have to draw them back on later. It makes absolute sense to even a 4 year old boy, but women for some reason don’t get it.
#2 is the face cream and makeup thing.
Compare the face of a 45 year old man to a 45 year old woman. Notice the difference? While the man’s face looks as if he is still 30, the women’s face looks every bit her age, and why is that? Well, makeup clogs your pres as do all those shitty creams that don’t do anything, not to mention your face is greasy from them.
Women, do want your skin to look young? Ease up on the makeup. For most of you it doesn’t do anything anyways.
See this is simple cause and effect that most will never understand.
-omen pluck eyebrows, then draw them on later, eyes always look shitty
-Men do not touch eyebrows, eyebrows are perfect.
The magic answer here is leave them alone.
-Women use maekup and cream as a way to TRY to beautify and conceal, face and skin look shitty at hell I’ll even say 35.
-Men do no such thing, they age gracefully and skin looks good till 60.
THe magic answer based on cause and effect here: Stop putting shit on your skin.
lol
I just can’t agree with this. Sarcasm maybe or just showing the way women think. Mabye Dick hasn’t been to the USA, there are plenty of beached whales wondering around thinking they are beautiful.
All women think every woman is a beautfiful until their BF or hubby says something nice about them. It’s funny to watch these women change their opinion of those he says is a natural beauty. They believe only women have the ability to judge beauty. retards