Are Those Catepillars on Your Face or Crayon?
Have you ever seen women’s eyebrows? I can sum them up in one word: fucking gross.
It’s hilarious that women will do everything short of sewing a giant, fuck-off, red A for “Attention Whore” on the clothing of women who get their breasts enhanced, but women can’t stop fucking with their eyebrows. It’s the same thing.
Oh wait it’s not. It’s the same thing except one is gross and one is gorgeous.
Of all the stupid, time-wasting, bullshit, masturbatory exercises women engage in for the sake of Cosmetique, eyebrow art is by far the stupidest and most masturbatory. Who are women gardening their eyebrows for anyway? Men? Do any men subscribe to Hot Eyebrows Monthly? I’ve never even heard of that publication and I’ve heard of a lot of them; so I doubt it.
How about women then? No I’m pretty sure it isn’t women either. Women don’t look other women in the face in the first place.
That’s not common knowledge either, that women don’t look other women in the eye when they’re speaking to each other, but it is true. See, women always bitch about how men constantly stare at their chests while completely dominating them in any conversation, but women are exactly the same. It’s a species thing. It’s got nothing to do with sex.
It’s the same way artists and advertisers utilize white space to manipulate the eye. There are certain things the human gaze is simply drawn to — magnetically. White space on the one hand and in the other, boobs. Don’t let women make you feel bad for being a human being.
It must be caterpillars then. Women shave their eyebrows to make sure caterpillars don’t try to have sex with their faces while they’re sleeping.
I guess that’s crazy isn’t it! Well, moisturizer and anti wrinkle creams don’t do shit and women still use them. Is that less crazy than plucking your eyebrows due to a caterpillar narcofornophobia? That means a fear of caterpillars having sex with your eyebrows in your sleep, or as women prefer to call it: date rape.
Women are all beautiful and special things — each one like a beautiful summer day or a classic Cadillac convertible — and they just don’t realize it. Women and their natural bodies and eyebrows disgust them. That’s why they do stupid shit like pencil them in and are extremely uptight all the time about walking around the house in a bra.
What is the big fucking deal about that anyway? It’s called a compromise.
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June 6th, 2006 at 4:11 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Indeed.
-Big Al
June 6th, 2006 at 4:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Couldn’t agree more. At the end of the day, smearing un-natural combinations of chemicals on one’s face is never a good, or clever thing to do.
Personally I rarely even notice people’s eyebrows, unless they are penciled in. Then you can’t help but notice how fake and shitty they look.
How do they expect to be taken seriously with a face that resembles a half-finished coloring book?
June 6th, 2006 at 9:55 am - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
Or better yet, how do women expect to be taken seriously with boobs?
-Dick
June 14th, 2006 at 8:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 935b753cb4ff3
I was unfortunately acquainted with a so-called man who trimmed his eye brows into two thin, arching lines. He was strutting the shop floor like ‘da may-un’ until I told him he looked like a Romulan transvestite. Typical metrosexual pussy.
June 14th, 2006 at 9:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9fe794327d1c5
That wasn’t a man.
June 14th, 2006 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Speaking of men and eyebrows. It is actually men who do the most awful eyebrow faux pas. Drag queens fill in their eyebrows with wax so they can’t be seen, then pencil in fake ones about a centremetre above the actual eyebrow. A good gay friend told me this, so you would have to assume, being manly advice, that it is true. For more info, see Connie & Carla.
June 14th, 2006 at 9:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 935b753cb4ff3
A Mantastic Amen to that observation!
June 14th, 2006 at 9:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
That brings up a rather unsavory image.
-wolfe
June 15th, 2006 at 5:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 442ae7cfaf56b
Exactly.
September 24th, 2006 at 1:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
im -thank god- comfortable with my own body. i dont get why woman do things like cut off some of their toes to fit in nice high heels or pencil in their eyebrows. its so dumb. most women (at least id like to think?) wouldnt go to such extremes. ehk.
September 24th, 2006 at 2:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Can you, scarecrow?
The bitch has put up 52 comments in 2 days. Even the site’s owner doesn’t post that much.
September 24th, 2006 at 2:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2f2d948528fdf
yeah. talent. AND im on myspace. AND im doing a research paper on viking expeditions. yepp.
September 24th, 2006 at 5:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
I know punctuation costs even more than vowels, but Sandra you must have saved enough of your allowance to be able to afford it…such a bright, “talented”, young woman as yourself.
I suspect that you’ll, no doubt, find some way to include excerpts from your “Viking Expeditions” paper in one, or fifty, of your future comments - I can hardly wait and truly count the minutes, give or take an ‘o’ [in 'count'].
September 24th, 2006 at 5:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Yet again you inadvertently revert to incoherent babbling. It is a feminine trait, isn’t it?
September 24th, 2006 at 5:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5d80956a3e6c
Was that comment really necessary smrtpants? Why are you attacking sandra? Could it be she is getting more attention here than you are? Are we in female competition territory here?
If so, please don’t go there. I doubt Dick or any of the other guys here have much interest in reading posts of you pair bickering with each other.
September 24th, 2006 at 5:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
‘Attack’ is such a strong word.
I was just pointing out that [self-proclaimed] ‘talent’ might be accompanied by impeccability, particularly when it refers to ‘multi-tasking literary’ ability.
Okay, so I’m a doryphor at heart, at least I never spent a whole comment telling everyone how industrious I felt myself to be after making several “puerile” entries.
No sir, I just kept digging a deeper hole with no regard, and/or advertisement of my own righteousness [self-perceived, or real, and not necessarily in that order].
Heave-ho’…
(Besides, I only pick on chicks my own ’size’, and Sandra’s much too much for the likes of me…out of the mouths of babes…)
September 24th, 2006 at 5:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2f2d948528fdf
you know i was only kidding right? whatever, it doesnt matter.
September 24th, 2006 at 5:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
If you can’t follow, extrapolate, make reference [without a highlighted 'quote'], then it may be you who is ‘guilty’ of inadvertent babble.
And, oh yeah, how’re you doing btw - nice to hear from you.
September 24th, 2006 at 6:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
Sandra, you most certainly ROCK! And I mean that - I only wish that the internet had been around when I was in my ‘formative’ years and, more importantly, that I had the confidence that you do - well done, and again: I really mean that.
See here/hear Luka, I am not about attention, I am interested in trying my hand at this medium, period.
In other words, I just want to join in.
Sandra is a remarkable young woman and has my respect.
In fact, I don’t bother commenting, etc. to anyone whom I don’t hold in [relatively] high regard - via any medium, including, but not limited to, the old-fashioned ‘from my lips to’…
September 24th, 2006 at 7:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
May I fill in the dots?