Ask Dick: How Manly Was The Apollo 11 Mission?
The following question was sent to me by Marco Urso.
Thousands of years of research, thinking, and inventing from men all over the globe were put on display that day to boldly go where no man has gone before (and within the scheduled time frame).
I am talking of course about the Apollo 11 Mission and I wondered exactly how manly was the first manned flight to the moon?
I don’t know if all of you men know this, but no women were involved in the planning or execution of the Apollo 11 mission to the moon.
Here’s a short list of other amazing projects no women were involved in:
All of them.
Women are involved in projects like Plan The Baby Shower 2003 and Let’s Watch American Idol For the Third Night in a Row. Fuck, read a book. In other words, worthless projects that only women give a shit about and that are washed away by a changing time slot.
The Apollo 11 mission — and also many other things men have done — left a mark on the Earth so dramatic that it wasn’t even on the Earth itself. Let me put it this way. To erase the doings of the Apollo 11 mission, you actually have to leave Earth and go to the moon. That’s about as permanent as it gets. Imagine if you wrote your ex-girlfriend’s name and phone number on a bathroom wall in Rome. Well I don’t have to and let me tell you this: her fury would be of immeasurable magnitude.
That’s exactly what happened with the Apollo 11 mission except it is immeasurable in greatness and manliness instead of lameness and womanliness.
There’s a great fable about a king who went to the beach and told the ocean to go fuck itself. It’s great because telling anything to go fuck itself is a manly thing to do. He was also the king doing this, which is a further element of manliness. Well that’s what the Apollo 11 mission was. Man himself tamed Mother Nature years ago. She’s just a woman after all; prone to fits of rage and non-stop weeping. In the end, all we needed for protection was a well crafted blazer and central air conditioning.
The Apollo 11 mission was mankind walking to the edge of the Earth and telling the universe to go fuck itself. We go where we please, when we please.
The Apollo 11 mission was approximately as manly as the time Babe Ruth called his home run and the building of the Hoover Dam both mixed together like meats in a manwich. The Apollo 11 mission was also at least as manly as The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage. You really have to see that movie to know what I’m talking about — and I definitely am talking about something. If you haven’t seen it, I have only one thing to say:
Major loss of Man Points.
I hope I’ve answered your question, Marco.
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March 30th, 2007 at 11:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Mikoyan-Gurevich flyby is all I need to see.
March 30th, 2007 at 6:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 534112f19a8c0
The Wicker Man depicts women so stupidly that it is laugh-out-loud-comedic. Nicholas Cage is of course again depicted as the all round-good-guy “saint”, being Hollywood’s cooler version of Tom Hanks. The movie oh so subtlely warns that very bad things will happen if you let wymmen take control because women are completely insane.
Watch out for the scene where Cage is looking for the missing girl and busts into a house, runs into the bedroom and lifts the corner of the mattress to see if she is under it. Gold.
March 30th, 2007 at 7:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49ac131ed0199
Carefactor: 0
March 30th, 2007 at 7:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9d1bff40f6840
Sounds true to life. Your insanity is what brings you here. It appears your guessing again in your last comment. I could guess also and being a man I’m sure I would get closer to the real reason.
Fuel - Prove
March 30th, 2007 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 534112f19a8c0
What? Guessing about what? Your comment makes no sense.
March 31st, 2007 at 2:05 am - IP Man-Hash: fb5925e4515c8
Don’t tell me the bitch is back !!
March 31st, 2007 at 2:14 am - IP Man-Hash: c20b47cbcee08
Let me guess CJ, you’ve actually invoked and misused “parental alienation syndrome” against an ex in a child custody dispute? It does seem that fathers rights groups do like to use this “clinical” diagnosis to justify their rants against women.
March 31st, 2007 at 4:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 9d1bff40f6840
The comment would make sense but only if you had sense enough to think logically. But if you did you wouldn’t be here wasting our time.
March 31st, 2007 at 4:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 9d1bff40f6840
CJ the bitch never leaves. She camps out here in hopes of getting Dick.
March 31st, 2007 at 10:10 am - IP Man-Hash: b0896eb717a25
Female’s fucking mouth will run when she’s dead and her jaw will be it’s own separate corpreal being. Never stopping it’s flapping bullshit.
March 31st, 2007 at 4:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a133362adbdb
You sure did
April 1st, 2007 at 4:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 02a835d9d7776
that movie pissed me off (how it ended). did those asswipes even get their honey or whatever it was? ugh.
February 10th, 2008 at 12:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: a9e0f2046404b
Interesting how “female” and “sandra” make pointless comments about an offhand reference to a movie, while totally side stepping the main point of the article:
Men invented and advanced math, physics, biology, medicine, engineering, agriculture, literature, morality, and every other aspect of humanity that separates us from animals. The only way that women have participated in any of this is by fetching the scientists another cup of coffee. Does female or sandra have anything to say about this? Of course not. You can’t argue with facts, although women often try.
February 20th, 2008 at 10:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: a273a15aa06ff
Google
“We Never Went To The Moon.”
April 12th, 2008 at 12:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8235639147ec8
sorry to have to be the one to tell you that men need woman to survive… you can do anything other then pointless things that no one really cares about but other men (gay).. you can not give birth soooo the human kind would not exist if the better half (women) were not around.. If men would not have invented all these “incredible” things we might not be having the problem of the earth being destroyed… and we do not hate sex we just hate it with you cause it takes real men to pleasure a woman not someone… well like you. I do feel sorry for you’re stupidity and hope you will grow up sometime soon.
April 12th, 2008 at 4:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9d5c03290f8ac
Would you be surprised to hear that we’ve heard it all before? If we didn’t have an entire race full of nagging women we would get even more things done. Furthermore, I’m sure we’d be able to invent something capable of creating life.
As for us ‘creating our own destruction’, the only thing that keeps me happy is knowing that if we’re in trouble, then you are absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, fucked beyond belief. I’m sure women will try their best to stop the destruction, however I’m sorry to say that there’s no bitching your way out of the end of the world.