Ask Dick: My Girlfriend is Needy
I was sent this question by Max.
Dick, I’ve met this woman who obviously likes me, but she keeps her guard up as far as dating goes. She even told me thats why she got her dog a few years ago. Because the dog will always love her no matter what. What should I do?
I would have thought a man who shared his name with one of the manliest men in cinema, Mad Max, would know a thing or two about seeing through women and their endless bullshit.
Grab a sword and a piece of paper, Max. You and your shitty girlfriend are about to enter the Thunderdome.
Women are obsessed with control. That’s why they hate things like sports, midgets, and penises. Those things can never be controlled. And that’s exactly what women do when they put their “guard” up. They control what cannot be controlled.
The Penis.
Women have no reason to be afraid of anything. Imagine that you could say whatever you wanted without getting punched in the mouth. Imagine you could have a millionaire pay for your entire life with the right combination of make-up and shut-up. Imagine you were born with the unlimited line of credit that is a vagina. It doesn’t even have to be well maintained!
Why the fuck would you keep your guard up if you had nothing to be afraid of?
Man Lesson #1: Do not get a girlfriend.
Getting a girlfriend is like getting a running start before you jump off a cliff. No matter how fast you’re going, it’s still a step in the wrong direction.
Men Lesson #2: Fuck women’s dogs.
It takes a dog to love a woman. Any creature who can feed itself has little use for a permanently wound up Bitch-in-the-Box, ready to spring out at the spill of a soda.
Women need dogs the way men need brains, blood, and beer. Women need the concept of “unconditional love”. It pumps through their veins instead of blood and it nourishes their every waking moment. Unconditional love, which is stupid and insane, is the Sports of woman-kind.
Sports are an eternal test of skill and wits for the sole purpose of honing them both. It is very manly. Unconditional love can be used to describe the actions of mental patients and psychotics.
Man Lesson #3: Do not get a girlfriend.
We’ve all seen a cartoon donkey with a carrot hanging off of a stick just inches away from its face. Well that’s exactly what having a girlfriend will do to you, except instead of a carrot hanging in front of your face, it’ll be a big red STOP sign and a shitload of complaining. What needy girlfriends never seem to need is a reason to bitch and complain. If she’s complaining so much, why not give her a reason to be doing it. Hide all her pants or underwear or something.
There are few men who’ve gotten rich by listening to a bunch of fucking complaining all day. Usually, those men become priests.
The real question here, Max, is not what your girlfriend is keeping her guard up to keep out, it’s what she’s keeping her guard up to keep in. Control.
And also she’s probably a foul-mouthed sex maniac. All women are.
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to victoria and ora i why you want theminute back .its not gonna be useful neither to you nor to humanity. and to victoia then you ll die without watching a penis .because all the men think in this way , when they are not drunk by whisky or by love.
Absolutely briliant! Dick: you’re the Man!
Wow, this is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever read. Can I get the last minute of my life back please?
GTFO why are you even here?
So we can get a better idea of how guys like you think, so we can avoid you, and tell other women to do the same.
As the only things you’ve ever read either had ‘lift up’ flaps or came with a ‘free lipstick’, I would say that it was quite remarkable.
But what would be the point in giving your minute of life back? You would only squander it by giggling at your own reflection in the mirror, hardly a loss to the advancement of mankind.
I realize that commenting on this and also being a woman immediately makes me look like some bitch trying to cry about getting hated on…but I’ve devoted enough time to reading your little he-man-woman-haters club articles already, so I figure why not. The main point is, you’re spending (what seems to be a good amount of time) writing about why you hate women. I can see you just sitting at your little computer writing all of these articles thinking you’re some alpha-dog. And you’re ranting and collecting little members of your club to join you and it’s all very homosexual and all, but at the very end of the day when you lay your little head down on the pillow, you’ve spent precious hours of your life creating something that will ultimately bring you zero success in just about anything. besides maybe having a few little sad sorry guido men following you. which in turn probably brings you stress. which I realize you probably relieve with a lot of masterbation, but truthfully.. it’s a pretty low-class thing to do with your life.
and the fact that you have to wake up every morning and be that guy? live that low class scumbag life? yikes!
You realise nothing, you big booted, shaven headed, lesbian moron.
Good! Now try attacking something that you might actually have some basis for.
“I realize that commenting on this and also being a woman immediately makes me look like some bitch trying to cry about getting hated on…”
No – a female dog is infinitely more trainable (whimmin are much more like a cat – a relative air of infallibility and exaggerated sense of importance, which at least SOME PEOPLE are having the good sense to help reduce back to reality…not that whimmin are reasonable or intelligent enough to take such direction; from satire or otherwise).
“but I’ve devoted enough time to reading your little he-man-woman-haters club articles already, so I figure why not.”
So, analogously, if some guy writes a book on the various vagaries of the feline, especially as such relate to their tendencies toward effective laziness, relative lack of usefulness compared to canines, and sense of importance; yet all while being quite dependent upon their superiors surrounding them, in terms of enjoying and maintaining their relatively prolonged longevity in their MANvanced abodes, it MUST mean he’s a he-man-cat-hater?!
After all, he’s NOT calling them purrrfect; not extolling their supposed virtues, while ignoring all their faults.
Using your “logic,” the author of the book MUST hate cats.
“The main point is, you’re spending (what seems to be a good amount of time) writing about why you hate women.”
Because so many men can relate to so much of this, it IS a GOOD amount of time, however much it may be (but since material regarding whimmin’s inferiority and foibles is so abundant, that “good amount of time” could actually be quite minute).
“I can see you just sitting at your little computer writing all of these articles thinking you’re some alpha-dog. And you’re ranting and collecting little members of your club to join you and it’s all very homosexual and all,”
Sure – if whimmin get together and derisively dissect and discuss men, THAT’s reasonable and justifiable.
But if men do it, they’re probably homosexuals and haters.
How astute you must feel!!!
“but at the very end of the day when you lay your little head down on the pillow, you’ve spent precious hours of your life creating something that will ultimately bring you zero success in just about anything.”
Should we chalk this one up to more (and oh-so-typical) female conjecture; or do you just lack intellectual understanding?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
book sales, television appearances, radio appearances, and goofy little girls like you, who’ll do and have done PLENTY of viral-like marketing for Dick’s products after visiting this site (“omg!!!u cant believe wot this one guy is saying…”).
“besides maybe having a few little sad sorry guido men following you. which in turn probably brings you stress. which I realize you probably relieve with a lot of masterbation, but truthfully.. it’s a pretty low-class thing to do with your life.”
At least Mr. Masterson is FUNNY (doesn’t matter what most whimmin think about it).
Hey – do the whimmin who haven’t had ALL their dreams fulfilled via feminist-whined entitlements, ALSO relieve their stress by masturbation?
“and the fact that you have to wake up every morning and be that guy? live that low class scumbag life? yikes!”
FemaleAngerIsTheWeathervaneOfTruth
Thanks for beating her down benignbullet, you know I just could not muster the energy to do it myself.
God, women like her piss me off!
LOL
The whole cat thing? it’s clear he’s a total nut-job. None of it made any sense, but you can tell he felt really smart when he posted it.
It didn’t make any sense because you are stupid.
Unconditional love. Is that so wrong?
There is nothing wrong with Unconditional Love, so why don’t you whimmin finally learn how to EXPRESS one OUT towards men, except just dogs, cats and even garbage or other lesbian cunts shit.
Sorry but studioline is right, the majority of women unconsciously only ever visualize unconditional directed towards themselves.
Want proof? Check the statistics as to whom is most likely to initiate a divorce, men or women.
Narcissistic, vacuous spoilt children.
The creator of this website must have a small dick. Seriously. Women must not want you, and you are scorned. Poor guy.
Thats like saying YOU have a gaping, floopy, unfucked, stinky pussy.
Is it accurate?
Are you sure??
What if a man said “the cunt who wrote this (^^ above) *MUST* have a gaping, floopy, unfucked, stinky pussy. Men must not want you, and you are scorned. Poor bitch.”
Would that be accurate??
Then shut the fuck up.
The only issue with your statement, my man, is that she is not condeming an entire dominant half of the human race. She is just condemning an individual that shows alot of the traits of a sad, unfucked virgin.
t’teller: You probably wouldn’t recognise the truth if it came up and pissed in your eye.
Women that play hard to get are usually not worth having in the first place. Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone. Next time you admire some allegedly hot pop tart, keep that in mind. Needy women are abusive women; it’s all about them. The focus must be on them 24 hours a day; usually an act of desperation. Run, Forrest, Run.
Wow, this shit is funny as hell. Do you girls realize that they have the right to free speech, just like you? Quit bothering them and let them voice their opinions. They aren’t really hurting anyone and if you’re offended by the things they’re saying, DON’T READ IT. God, people in general are idiots.
“Oh, this site offends me so much! I’ll bitch and moan and make everyone here chuckle so they shut it down!” Seriously?
When I read this, I laughed. I’m a woman, but do I care? No. Why? Because I will never meet any of these men and if I did, it wouldn’t matter. Just leave these men to their site and stay away from it. Quit being such “haters.”
This bitch’ll probably come back, and leave this same comment somewhere else.
Look Random Bitch, you can’t laugh at something if you do not agree to some extent with it.This is very deep satire, something which you couldn’t possibly understand.
If you laugh at this without agreeing with any of it, then you want to show that you don’t care, when inside you’re pissed off by the truth and can’t admit it, or let go of your ingrained inhibitions.
When did I say I didn’t agree with it? You’re making assumptions about me that you can’t possibly know. I love this site. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate good humor.
My mistake.I realized that I didn’t read your post carefully.I’m sorry.
That’s quite alright :)
“Sane” women like you are in the increasing minority. The bitchy, insane, entitlement princess you see here is the norm, and inadvertently “educates” more and more men to our ways.
Don´t be so sure of never meeting one of “these” men.
Who are you calling a sane woman, me or Random bitch?I’m a man, and Random bitch is not a sane woman.
Check out the IQ on Random Girl! Spoken like a true prodigy.
All that matters about this article is one question: is Dick right? Yes!
That’s all that matters.
Once any man nowadays gets a girlfriend she has really “got” him to an extent. Look, the man should always be in control no matter what, if she is withholding anything that means she is not trusting the man she’s with, and women if you do not trust the man, then he should not be with you, and these women need to grow the fuck up, alright, men can’t do everything for you in life you women have to actually make a fucking effort to grow up and learn what it really means to be a feminine woman not a new-age, modern, closet-lesbian.
Long live all the men!
There’s nothing wrong with a woman being needy as long as they’re obedient and know when to keep quiet.
I thnk people need to reassess what it means for a woman to be feminine. Submission and obedience have somehow become lost along the way, even though what evidence we have would suggest that it is the natural neurobiologic mode of behaviour for women.
People’s ideas of what it means for a girl to be “girly” have become distorted and masculinised, which may be responsible for some of the confusion in the comments below.
I agree with this completely. Since when does feminism mean not shaving your armpits and defying human nature? Women weren’t MADE to be equals to men. We were made to support men and have children. That’s the way it was before society told women that they were equals. My man knows he’s the boss and that’s the way it should be.
If you weren’t a complete moron, and decided to do a little reading before you started bitching and complaining on this site, you would know that Dick doesn’t hate women. Far from it, and as a matter of fact, he steered me from Misogyny. I can’t thank him enough, because I learned that I was in fact a Chauvanist.
A. Sounds better.
B. Not facist.
C. It’s reality.
I’ll just assume your a troll or just a moron who has been raised on feminist propoganda to believe that women fart fairy dust and men are all wife beaters and rapists.
Rock on, this man absolutly must keep sending these thoughts out. Ladies every pin prick of truth in these infuriates you and get over it for the frustration train is already full of your “best friends” , “coffee buddies” and “funny guys” …………… STFU
Dick is such a retard. I feel sorry for a man who feels this way about women. Sure some of it is true, and I’ll agree, but I’m not going to hate ALL women outright. Where will I go in life with that mentality. Man up, you fucking moron.
Id agree if it wasnt true
She’s even more retarded than the usual and drooled like a punched spastic onto a keyboard some bile meant to call Dick “Pottyhead” ,or something.
Who the fuck would know and who the fuck really care what some woman spasming on a Man Only site is gibbering about?
Unless you are a women, but who the fuck cares about them?
Haha she called dick a pothead
Currency support from one and cock support from another.
3 Days Grace – Take Me Under
ok i just read the whole of this and i swear there are some really offensive things said about women.
i can admit yes we do control things occasionally but if you got close enough to one you’d understand we’ed quite like just a little support. i just broke up with my boyfriend. he gave a me a reason and i said well if its that bad help me with it. so n all fairness if you get close enough and can actually talk you’d understand men and women are in the same boat but becasue most women are scared of getting hurt they control things to avoid it at all costs.
1. Your spelling is disgusting.
2. Dump her, dumbfuck.
my gf say she so tuff but is reely 1 drama btch so needy all the time wash she would leave me alone