Ask Dick: My Girlfriend is Needy
I was sent this question by Max.
Dick, I’ve met this woman who obviously likes me, but she keeps her guard up as far as dating goes. She even told me thats why she got her dog a few years ago. Because the dog will always love her no matter what. What should I do?
I would have thought a man who shared his name with one of the manliest men in cinema, Mad Max, would know a thing or two about seeing through women and their endless bullshit.
Grab a sword and a piece of paper, Max. You and your shitty girlfriend are about to enter the Thunderdome.
Women are obsessed with control. That’s why they hate things like sports, midgets, and penises. Those things can never be controlled. And that’s exactly what women do when they put their “guard” up. They control what cannot be controlled.
The Penis.
Women have no reason to be afraid of anything. Imagine that you could say whatever you wanted without getting punched in the mouth. Imagine you could have a millionaire pay for your entire life with the right combination of make-up and shut-up. Imagine you were born with the unlimited line of credit that is a vagina. It doesn’t even have to be well maintained!
Why the fuck would you keep your guard up if you had nothing to be afraid of?
Man Lesson #1: Do not get a girlfriend.
Getting a girlfriend is like getting a running start before you jump off a cliff. No matter how fast you’re going, it’s still a step in the wrong direction.
Men Lesson #2: Fuck women’s dogs.
It takes a dog to love a woman. Any creature who can feed itself has little use for a permanently wound up Bitch-in-the-Box, ready to spring out at the spill of a soda.
Women need dogs the way men need brains, blood, and beer. Women need the concept of “unconditional love”. It pumps through their veins instead of blood and it nourishes their every waking moment. Unconditional love, which is stupid and insane, is the Sports of woman-kind.
Sports are an eternal test of skill and wits for the sole purpose of honing them both. It is very manly. Unconditional love can be used to describe the actions of mental patients and psychotics.
Man Lesson #3: Do not get a girlfriend.
We’ve all seen a cartoon donkey with a carrot hanging off of a stick just inches away from its face. Well that’s exactly what having a girlfriend will do to you, except instead of a carrot hanging in front of your face, it’ll be a big red STOP sign and a shitload of complaining. What needy girlfriends never seem to need is a reason to bitch and complain. If she’s complaining so much, why not give her a reason to be doing it. Hide all her pants or underwear or something.
There are few men who’ve gotten rich by listening to a bunch of fucking complaining all day. Usually, those men become priests.
The real question here, Max, is not what your girlfriend is keeping her guard up to keep out, it’s what she’s keeping her guard up to keep in. Control.
And also she’s probably a foul-mouthed sex maniac. All women are.
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Thats why I applaud jerks, really. They treat women how they deserve to be treated : Like shit. Since thats the way women wish to play the game, it shall be done.
She now calls you 24/7 and during the night, she accuses you to have meet to new girl and that you have been lying to her the whole time and that’s the real reason why you dump her. She tells a load of BS to anyone around her about you and she will try to get back in your life to make you suffer for that and dump you this time so she can have the final word.
Meet the girl.
She looks nice, she smiles all the time and everything you say is hilarious even if you haven’t finished your joke yet. She likes that you do the things you do and understands there are many psycho women out there and she is not one of them. She’s a good girl and she isn’t attracted to assholes, because she had her share of it, like her ex. She is not a slut and wouldn’t sleep with someone right off, she has to know him better.
Date the girl.
She pays for her meal and drinks, she is fine with your choice of movie and she even likes the music in your car. She thinks you have great tastes. You are the brightest man she’s ever hooked up with and she wonders how much money a guy like you is doing because you have such an interesting job. She’s into hot sex and lesbianism from time to time and she fantasies about having threesomes. She is not that needy and she acts smart with your friends, she can hold “it” for the whole evening so every body likes her. She can buy you a few small presents, mostly kitchen stuff she feels you need, saying she was at the mall and was thinking about you.
Having the girl.
The hot sex turns into something where she lies on her back and you pretty much do everything until she cums and she’s too tired to do the same back to you. Now she wants you to take her out and pay for her food and drinks out of romance, to make her feel special, like a princess. She now counts the number of glasses of wine you drink out that bottle you bought for her and you and complains if you drink more than she does. She wants her share of music, so basically she will complain every time yours is on and not hers. She won’t be kine on your tastes of movie anymore and will complain and threatens you not to watch it with you if it’s not the one of her choice. She will now find all your clothes awe full and assumes if was your ex’s tastes and she will want to change everything on you. She will read your emails and seek for anything asshole related, go through your pockets and wants explanation for every phone calls you had since she was last with you, looking at the incoming calls on your phone. Now she asks you where you go when you leave the room, even if you just take a piss. At some point she will start to lies to you about what she does/did in her free time, keeping on the grill a bunch of guys via her email, msn or facebook (or any type of dating system) and have drinks or meals with them, inventing some old friends. At some point she will piss you off so bad that you have to send her back to her place, which is what she wanted from the beginning of that fake argument so she can feel rejected by you and so go cheat on you. From her point of view it won’t be cheating because you kick her off for the evening and she was just seeking a shoulder to lean on to cry about you, it ended up in sex but it wasn’t her fault. She won’t tell it to you of course, instead she will give you hot sex so she actually auto-forgives herself. The hotter the sex, the worse she did to you. she can invoke the PMS card as an excuse to her poor behavior and she swears to watch out from now on. She is less ans less classy and gets drunker and drunker at parties and will now leave a door open for every jurk to come around to talk to her and pay her drinks. She is now bitching about every other girl and starts inner-group-of-friends manipulation and tearing-aparts. She now blows all her money on cloths and shoes and she never ever has anything to wear and she complains on how expensive it is to be a girl. She will act like poor so you will pay for her extras (food, drinks, cinema, car gas, you name it), even if she has more money than you do. She can now starts and argument for no reason and will try to push you on the edge further everytime and tries to makes you snap and want to beat her off with every insult and low hits she can find.
Breaking up with the girl.
At this point you can’t take anymore of it, so you try to have a mature conversation about what’s wrong but she will deny doing anything bad and it’s all your fault, and if she ever tells you something bad she did, it would only be in response to some shit you did to her. There is no conversation anymore because there has been so many lies that no story does even look real to you, with a shit loads of contradictions. You kick her out and she goes “fine!” with it, she will now fuck the whole bunch of dudes on her msn/facebook/dating site
“Getting a girlfriend is like getting a running start before you jump off a cliff. No matter how fast you’re going, it’s still a step in the wrong direction.”
Brilliant!
I just made the unfortunate mistake of taking a peak at that Cruel Beauty website. What a load of shit. Its unfortunate that she has convinced herself that what her almond sized brain concocted is true, and its even more unfortunate (a damn shame) that she has convinced many a misguided soul that her shit is worth money. I really feel sorry for all involved.
*D3C*
This Man speaks Veritas.
[drunken rant]
I agree wholeheartedly. Women are allowed sexual freedom, however Men aren’t allowed to buy into it I suppose. I have advocated Legalized Prostitution for many a year. Women I think are the originators of this piece of legislation, (however long it has occured) it reduces their power. Check my law in the Laws of Women.
-Strength and Honor-
No, you are never off-topic. You are a man. Good to have you back, Doubt.
http://cruelbeauty.com/
Ah, and a shrine to all pussy-worshiping ‘faggots (according to this little miss, a man is always a faggot*, no matter how gay or straight he is).’ The site became closed to comments, coincidentally soon after I posted no more than three comments directed at her audience. Perhaps there was one where I acknowledged what anyone with a GED-level education (de facto, not de jure, cunt-spitters) was that her homophobia, literally referring to herself as a god and the weak men who bought her things off her amazon.com wishlist, including a gaming computer - though usually heels and cosplay costumes were her disciples.
Oh, and my first comment was on something titled ‘My plants are dying.’ It’s about how she was starving her plants of light and water in a closet ‘as an experiment.’ She went on to talk about how she ‘wondered how fast they would bounce back to life in [her embrace, something, basically sees how fast they would recover from deprivation of basic life-sustaining substance].’ Wow, deep. She really must be a God. I also told her to look up Marc Lepine if she was curious about the powers of femininity over men.
I replied to her reply to my comment basically calling her out on her bullshit in front of her worshipers, and how I was not, in fact, a victim of pussy envy if not having a vagina meant I would have a better chance at becoming a productive member of society who contributes to, not takes from, the world. I went on to comment on her post about how ‘[She] knows her site is successful when pussy-envious misogynistic pigs go ape-shit on her site.’ I explained that she was just a little whore who was exploiting her sexuality, the men on this site were absolute fools for contributing to her self-destructive lifestyle, and proceeded to offer a brief list of sites for men to discover how to embrace their sexuality. Oh, and I called her a camwhore. I suppose that’s too much for her to handle, as she pretty much redirected her site to a new ‘tribute/sacrifice/money-required’ location and to find it one would have to buy something off her amazon.com wishlist or send her cash.
And people do send her money, too. As in she had a picture of a wad of hundreds she got in the mail. I suppose a little constructive criticism is ‘too much for her to be exposed to,’ which makes sense if your livelihood depends on exploiting the ignorance and naivety of others.
What struck me the most was how she posted about tearing down her boathouse to build a personal spa. I wonder how many blood diamonds that cunt keeps tucked in her pussy when she jogs.
http://cruelbeauty.com/
*Wish she hadn’t taken the article down - in summary, it was about a hooker who had posted some rich guy’s cross-dressing photos on the internet or used them against him or something. She believes that ‘if [the hooker] had an ounce of goddess in her, she would have used the [evidence, photos, etc.] to [paraphrased - gain control over this man's life through blackmail and then release them anyway]‘
Great article, by the way, DM. I hope this wasn’t too off-topic.
And it’s great to see you, Atlas. I look forward to any future posts.
Listen to the cunts here. They bitch and moan and complain about the ‘things men have done to them.’ Hey, sweetie, those men still got a piece of dat ass! I really don’t feel inclined to give ‘unconditional love’ to a complete slut - you got a vagina, whoopie! Holy fucking shit, I may not ‘get any from you anytime soon’ because you hallucinated me looking at your cleavage without looking ‘asshole’ enough to be entitled to do so. Well, fucker-me-timbers, I’ll just move on to the next sorority slut, then, it really isn’t like you have anything they don’t.
Let’s see, what do men want from girls that makes them entitled to attention whoring and an idiot pass? Oh, ass and titties. What do all girls have? There you go, and if everybody thought like that in this happy, healthy first world-of-a-shithole we got going on here, there wouldn’t be any stalkers or harassers!
Hell, Virginia Tech wouldn’t even happen - he’d just need to drive off to the Tex-Mex border and fuck a few ‘empowered’ 14-year-old girls peddling their virginity for tit implants. Perhaps if he absolutely had to kill someone he could drop three or four of their platform-heel-clad selves as opposed to 32 students. I know they’re empowered young girls and all, with pussies and titties to play with, but then they’re still whores and they really aren’t good people.
In all seriousness, our society would fix 5 decades of destruction in about, say, 1 or 2 years tops if prostitution was legalized - with the inclusion of heavy government taxation, mandatory disease inspections, and most importantly: government-enforced price ceilings.
On that note, the perfect strip club would be one where there was absolutely no entrance fee (drinks, food, and cigarettes could therefore be sold at inflated prices), the girls were required to fulfill a sex quota to maintain employment, background checks would be conducted to ensure the sluts had not filed any charges of any type against anyone (or a blacklist, granted such a system becomes universal), and - back to the sex quota - the girls would not be allowed to request or charge anything beforehand, the men they would have sex with would be chosen at random using a lottery system, and they could only accept tips as a form of payment, if any.
And who would seek employment under such oppressing conditions? A street hooker, of course - after all, it’s not like they choose to become cunt-lickers, so we might as well exploit them without breaking style. We all know how important style is, don’t we?
Damn right its true, its gonna be funny to see how many stupid bitches have something to say about that (even though THEY SHOULDNT EVEN FUCKING BE ON THIS SITE). “Oh thats generalizing, blah blah blah, so i guess if we say all men are like this or that than that means all of them are, blah blah blah”.
SHUT UP, fuck off the site, you will be verbally bitch slapped, any insult or “points”/LIES you cunts throw at us we will be able to call you out on and serve your ass real proper.
Want to discuss how unhappy you are being a stupid woman who oppresses herself, go to a feminist website and form your lies with the rest of those bitter, fascist, self-loathing cunts there.
Damn straight and damn true! *applauds*.
That had to be some of the most real shit ever said….ever, women are control freaks, every last fucking one of them, if you do not believe it, you are a fucking moron, very misguided, or a woman.
Its funny when girls say they have their guard up. Everybody knows that women are attracted to “assholes” or “bad guys” and dont feel attraction to nice guys who just want to give them the world and the greatest reward to them is just knowing the bitch is happy. So realistaclly, women put themselves into these situations where they get “mistreated” and “emotionally hurt”.
Then when these guys, who they already knew were assholes to begin with, treat them “bad” these bitches some how never seen it comming.
Thats the equivalent to a criminal who is a lose-cannon storming into your store with a gun pointed at you, and you think he is just there to buy something and greet you with a warm and friendly smile. Your stupid to believe it, or you were raised by Ned Flanders.
Women actually do 2 main things to nice guys.
1) Put them in the friends zone, but still use their money
2) Lead them on, to think the women is actually interested, ultimatly just to break their hearts after the women has milked whatever she could outta the poor bastard, then tell her girlfriends how he some how wasnt the nice guy everybody thinks he is, just so she doesnt go walking away looking like a bitch…when the nice guy finds this out, this is his snapping point, where he learns to be an “asshole”.
Just remember don’t believe everything these cunts tell you. Most of it (if not all) are lies.