Ask Dick: My Girlfriend is Needy
I was sent this question by Max.
Dick, I’ve met this woman who obviously likes me, but she keeps her guard up as far as dating goes. She even told me thats why she got her dog a few years ago. Because the dog will always love her no matter what. What should I do?
I would have thought a man who shared his name with one of the manliest men in cinema, Mad Max, would know a thing or two about seeing through women and their endless bullshit.
Grab a sword and a piece of paper, Max. You and your shitty girlfriend are about to enter the Thunderdome.
Women are obsessed with control. That’s why they hate things like sports, midgets, and penises. Those things can never be controlled. And that’s exactly what women do when they put their “guard” up. They control what cannot be controlled.
The Penis.
Women have no reason to be afraid of anything. Imagine that you could say whatever you wanted without getting punched in the mouth. Imagine you could have a millionaire pay for your entire life with the right combination of make-up and shut-up. Imagine you were born with the unlimited line of credit that is a vagina. It doesn’t even have to be well maintained!
Why the fuck would you keep your guard up if you had nothing to be afraid of?
Man Lesson #1: Do not get a girlfriend.
Getting a girlfriend is like getting a running start before you jump off a cliff. No matter how fast you’re going, it’s still a step in the wrong direction.
Men Lesson #2: Fuck women’s dogs.
It takes a dog to love a woman. Any creature who can feed itself has little use for a permanently wound up Bitch-in-the-Box, ready to spring out at the spill of a soda.
Women need dogs the way men need brains, blood, and beer. Women need the concept of “unconditional love”. It pumps through their veins instead of blood and it nourishes their every waking moment. Unconditional love, which is stupid and insane, is the Sports of woman-kind.
Sports are an eternal test of skill and wits for the sole purpose of honing them both. It is very manly. Unconditional love can be used to describe the actions of mental patients and psychotics.
Man Lesson #3: Do not get a girlfriend.
We’ve all seen a cartoon donkey with a carrot hanging off of a stick just inches away from its face. Well that’s exactly what having a girlfriend will do to you, except instead of a carrot hanging in front of your face, it’ll be a big red STOP sign and a shitload of complaining. What needy girlfriends never seem to need is a reason to bitch and complain. If she’s complaining so much, why not give her a reason to be doing it. Hide all her pants or underwear or something.
There are few men who’ve gotten rich by listening to a bunch of fucking complaining all day. Usually, those men become priests.
The real question here, Max, is not what your girlfriend is keeping her guard up to keep out, it’s what she’s keeping her guard up to keep in. Control.
And also she’s probably a foul-mouthed sex maniac. All women are.
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This site isn’t going to be banned. You cunts tried that once - it didn’t work, slut.
See, there are those little bitches trying to get their way again. Honey, if you’re only good for fucking - which you keep reminding us with your ‘good luck getting laid’ comments - rape should apparently be a compliment to your purpose. It would be like an emotionally mature human getting a raise or promotion for an honest day’s work - if a whorish secretary gets raped in an alleyway drunk off her wits, apparently she was asking for it just by advertising her pussy.
Rape claims are just a little girl’s cry for help - you cunts glorify man-rape all the time because you just can’t stop thinking about it. Ah, the joy of being able to un-fuck anyone you made the mistake of fucking - and getting all that attention!
Oh, attention is everything for you cunts, isn’t it?
Now run along, slut. It’s time for man-talk, and if you bitch to the provider after you are unable to counter our logic with your speculation, it will start right back up.
There are numerous men here who run servers/hosting programs who have made it clear that the second that a little miss gets this site shut down, it will be right back up again.
You can’t fight us, female. You’ll never win.
I think it’s time this site was banned and promoting rape ought to do it.
Yeah, fuck off. Did these women cry for help? Fuck, no. Why the hell must you impose your doctrine upon others? I am Asian and I would know that this is pretty commonplace in Asian societies. Cancel out the hyberbole of wives starving(they dont) - Most women do respect men.
Its the feminists who fuck things up with their belief that they are helping others. Yeah right. They cant help their own marriage for fucks sake.
Girls are cute when they’re angry. Oh, you’d kill me. That’s just your period honey, you’ll get over it. Rape can be a very pleasant and enjoyable experience if you can accept the fact that you naturally invite it. After all, the rapist had to make a choice out of all of the shallow, slutty, physically rapeable whores in the club/strip club/bar and he chose you! What an honor, you really are good for something after those implants!
How clever, a little cunt who makes penis jokes. Well I like jokes too.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice!
And the whole encouraging suicide thing - it doesn’t really make you look intelligent or powerful. It just makes you look like you’re bat-shit crazy and too emotionally immature/stupid to know any better. Now you could go on to explain how having that lukewarm hole in your crotch makes you better than me, but we all know the drill.
And I must admit, it is pretty funny that you have to specify to play Russian Roulette with a loaded pistol. I mean, how stupid can you be? Are you some porn star/strip teaser who feels a little grimy after getting two cocks in her ass at the same time? I’m sure the ability to feel love will return to you. It really will - sluts un-cunt themselves all the time - it really does happen. Those years of neglect can just magically melt away, just like unicorns are real and exploiting your sexuality does not make that your only purpose.
Now run along, slut. I know you’re all crampy from your cute little period and all, but no one here can plug up that twat with some get-well-soon sex, so you’re going to just have to let the blood run down your legs. Unless you plan on wearing underwear under your miniskirt this time… no, that would be oppression, not acting like a cunt and sucking every rich-guy cock around. And if someone lies, you charge them with rape!
Yes, but then again, I think that a woman would know better about what is good for her than a middle-class suburban white girl. The fact that this long-standing culture has survived for so long is a testament to a society untainted by feminism. If I were you, female, I would keep my hands to myself and stop fucking around with other people’s business. There is a reason the rest of the world hates all Americans for that, you know.
You just can’t leave people the fuck alone - you always know what’s best for them. So far, what you feminists have done, with your halter-tops, God complexes, and long-winded, awkward excuses for personal weakness has just been to get other people to hate you.
Stop being concerned about other womyn - they aren’t your sisters. You need to stop being so fucking autistic and learn about the concept of personal space and social skills so that you do not have to continuously have to live out your confusing excuses for exploiting your sexuality for ‘power’ and then claiming girls are not just a pussy and two tits.
You are not a miniature Einstein because you have gland issues, back problems, and a hole in your crotch. Intelligence and respect must be earned - you are not entitled to them by society. Men do not owe you respect, women do not owe you respect, you are not royalty. You may have been raised with Barbies convinced that being a slut makes you a little princess for daring to exploit your body for attention, but in the end, everyone just wants to fuck you.
Clair, that isn’t sweet, that’s oppression. What if he doesn’t go home every night? Is it good that she just starves? What happens when she’s pregnant? Is it sweet that she starves her developing child along with herself just because her husband isn’t present? It’s ridiculous and backwards mentality.
I’m be concerned about this post if I actually believed it was authentic.
@ Stop_discrimination: I am saddened by the domestic abuse suffered by the women but I am pretty sure its a minority. Kudos to the women!
If you have chosen that to be your purpose then thats fine, but as long as you know you are worth just as much as men.
That’s sweet.
No women shouldn’t have to do that, neither should men. It’s up to the individual. Everyone should get to choose their own life path.
That’s so sad. This is an awful case of power imbalance being abused. I hate domestic violence so much.
I wish they wouldn’t. These women, these men, these families need help.
That’s sweet.
How can these men do that to a woman that loves them so much?
Useless? I like not being beaten. I like not being labeled disrespectful if my man cheats on me or if I leave him for it. I like being able to vote. I like freedom and choice. It’s up to you, take it or leave, but don’t call it useless because it has been beneficial for girls like me.
What the hell is wrong with you? What kind of sick pervert concocts such events in their mind?
Actually, Clair is a woman. You are a fucking moron. *Rippwned*.
Even though you were probably just correcting her, that came off as kind of sweet.
Do not get a girlfriend.
-Dick
Holy shit - I cannot believe this was almost a word-by-word reply of the arsehole I was supposed to marry!
During the 24-7 calls, I eventually had to tell her I was moving to another country. Then I changed my number and unlisted my name.
Of course, everything that went wrong was my fault; she kept a few in waiting while still “trying to make it work” with me; and she constantly rifled through my shit looking for evidence of whatever.
So its a man thing to expect the women to be able to control that fire hose?
I guess if you were standing there watching your house burn, and only female firefighters were there, and they couldnt stop the fire because the fire hose was too much for them… you wouldnt be angry?
That must be what your saying, thats fine for you, but I want firefighters to be able to do the job, or they shouldnt be there. It has nothing at all to do with gender.
What’s your number?
Hello, I am from India where in many parts, even today women have not forgotten their true purpose - serving men.
My friend who works with me in a software concern often goes home late cause of heavy work. Sometimes even at midnight. And his wife waits for him awake and hungry. Yes you heard me right. His wife does not sleep or eat dinner till he reaches home. Now that’s what all women are supposed to do. Their sole purpose in life is to give birth to men and serve men so men can go ahead with their important duties.
I have seen many women in India, who get beaten up by their husbands, but still remain loyal to them. They kick off so called feminists who reach to their aid, asking them to mind their own business and not interfere with their family matters.
These women consider their husbands as their God. They will stay with the husband no matter what he does. Even if he sleeps with other women. And they are clever enough to understand that the objective of these stupid feminists is to break their family and create unnecessary nonsense to support their useless cause.
Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks is just a dumbfuck who likes to say shit and prick excessively. I think thats called Tourettes and I also think there should be some sort of treatment for it. I’d call it a-foot-in-the-mouth.
*D3C*
Actually, Clair is a woman. You are a fucking moron. *Rippwned*.
I would respond to both of you here. Forgive me if my answers are vague. I shall try my best.
Luka, the patriarchy and matriarchy are mutually exclusive. I am very sure you know that. Women do not wish for equality, they wish to rule over men. I am not going to stand for that. What I meant by keeping the “patriarchy” is keeping a system or building up a system whereby men are in charge. It doesnt matter really, if its a minority of men. Who would I rather have leading me? A man or a woman? Fuck, of course its going to be a man.
Btw, you mentioned that “men have never ruled over women”. I got a question, seriously - werent women treated like meat back then? How is that not “ruling over women”? In the past, that is.
Billy, not everyone suffers under “mancunt” feminized politicians. But what would you have it? A man or a woman leading you? No woman should ever be in charge of anything, much less men.
Women can spell. You are just an ugly, uneducated, brainless creep.
Run along now, shit. Continue being the lazy, unloved, worthless PRICK your parents raised you to be.
What’s the matter, your 8 year old girlfriend/sister wouldn’t go down on you? That’s illegal by the way, shit.
Is Clair a male who is obviously retarded, worthless and ugly, or one of those deluded, homely right wing women?
Clair, you are garbage. Stupid garbage. Smelly garbage. Homely garbage.
Grow a brain and get a life, you soul-less NOTHING.