Ask Dick: My Girlfriend is Needy
I was sent this question by Max.
Dick, I’ve met this woman who obviously likes me, but she keeps her guard up as far as dating goes. She even told me thats why she got her dog a few years ago. Because the dog will always love her no matter what. What should I do?
I would have thought a man who shared his name with one of the manliest men in cinema, Mad Max, would know a thing or two about seeing through women and their endless bullshit.
Grab a sword and a piece of paper, Max. You and your shitty girlfriend are about to enter the Thunderdome.
Women are obsessed with control. That’s why they hate things like sports, midgets, and penises. Those things can never be controlled. And that’s exactly what women do when they put their “guard” up. They control what cannot be controlled.
The Penis.
Women have no reason to be afraid of anything. Imagine that you could say whatever you wanted without getting punched in the mouth. Imagine you could have a millionaire pay for your entire life with the right combination of make-up and shut-up. Imagine you were born with the unlimited line of credit that is a vagina. It doesn’t even have to be well maintained!
Why the fuck would you keep your guard up if you had nothing to be afraid of?
Man Lesson #1: Do not get a girlfriend.
Getting a girlfriend is like getting a running start before you jump off a cliff. No matter how fast you’re going, it’s still a step in the wrong direction.
Men Lesson #2: Fuck women’s dogs.
It takes a dog to love a woman. Any creature who can feed itself has little use for a permanently wound up Bitch-in-the-Box, ready to spring out at the spill of a soda.
Women need dogs the way men need brains, blood, and beer. Women need the concept of “unconditional love”. It pumps through their veins instead of blood and it nourishes their every waking moment. Unconditional love, which is stupid and insane, is the Sports of woman-kind.
Sports are an eternal test of skill and wits for the sole purpose of honing them both. It is very manly. Unconditional love can be used to describe the actions of mental patients and psychotics.
Man Lesson #3: Do not get a girlfriend.
We’ve all seen a cartoon donkey with a carrot hanging off of a stick just inches away from its face. Well that’s exactly what having a girlfriend will do to you, except instead of a carrot hanging in front of your face, it’ll be a big red STOP sign and a shitload of complaining. What needy girlfriends never seem to need is a reason to bitch and complain. If she’s complaining so much, why not give her a reason to be doing it. Hide all her pants or underwear or something.
There are few men who’ve gotten rich by listening to a bunch of fucking complaining all day. Usually, those men become priests.
The real question here, Max, is not what your girlfriend is keeping her guard up to keep out, it’s what she’s keeping her guard up to keep in. Control.
And also she’s probably a foul-mouthed sex maniac. All women are.
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Wow, this shit is funny as hell. Do you girls realize that they have the right to free speech, just like you? Quit bothering them and let them voice their opinions. They aren’t really hurting anyone and if you’re offended by the things they’re saying, DON’T READ IT. God, people in general are idiots.
“Oh, this site offends me so much! I’ll bitch and moan and make everyone here chuckle so they shut it down!” Seriously?
When I read this, I laughed. I’m a woman, but do I care? No. Why? Because I will never meet any of these men and if I did, it wouldn’t matter. Just leave these men to their site and stay away from it. Quit being such “haters.”
This bitch’ll probably come back, and leave this same comment somewhere else.
Look Random Bitch, you can’t laugh at something if you do not agree to some extent with it.This is very deep satire, something which you couldn’t possibly understand.
If you laugh at this without agreeing with any of it, then you want to show that you don’t care, when inside you’re pissed off by the truth and can’t admit it, or let go of your ingrained inhibitions.
When did I say I didn’t agree with it? You’re making assumptions about me that you can’t possibly know. I love this site. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate good humor.
My mistake.I realized that I didn’t read your post carefully.I’m sorry.
That’s quite alright :)
“Sane” women like you are in the increasing minority. The bitchy, insane, entitlement princess you see here is the norm, and inadvertently “educates” more and more men to our ways.
Don´t be so sure of never meeting one of “these” men.
Who are you calling a sane woman, me or Random bitch?I’m a man, and Random bitch is not a sane woman.
All that matters about this article is one question: is Dick right? Yes!
That’s all that matters.
Once any man nowadays gets a girlfriend she has really “got” him to an extent. Look, the man should always be in control no matter what, if she is withholding anything that means she is not trusting the man she’s with, and women if you do not trust the man, then he should not be with you, and these women need to grow the fuck up, alright, men can’t do everything for you in life you women have to actually make a fucking effort to grow up and learn what it really means to be a feminine woman not a new-age, modern, closet-lesbian.
Long live all the men!
There’s nothing wrong with a woman being needy as long as they’re obedient and know when to keep quiet.
I thnk people need to reassess what it means for a woman to be feminine. Submission and obedience have somehow become lost along the way, even though what evidence we have would suggest that it is the natural neurobiologic mode of behaviour for women.
People’s ideas of what it means for a girl to be “girly” have become distorted and masculinised, which may be responsible for some of the confusion in the comments below.
I agree with this completely. Since when does feminism mean not shaving your armpits and defying human nature? Women weren’t MADE to be equals to men. We were made to support men and have children. That’s the way it was before society told women that they were equals. My man knows he’s the boss and that’s the way it should be.
If you weren’t a complete moron, and decided to do a little reading before you started bitching and complaining on this site, you would know that Dick doesn’t hate women. Far from it, and as a matter of fact, he steered me from Misogyny. I can’t thank him enough, because I learned that I was in fact a Chauvanist.
A. Sounds better.
B. Not facist.
C. It’s reality.
I’ll just assume your a troll or just a moron who has been raised on feminist propoganda to believe that women fart fairy dust and men are all wife beaters and rapists.
Rock on, this man absolutly must keep sending these thoughts out. Ladies every pin prick of truth in these infuriates you and get over it for the frustration train is already full of your “best friends” , “coffee buddies” and “funny guys” …………… STFU
Dick is such a retard. I feel sorry for a man who feels this way about women. Sure some of it is true, and I’ll agree, but I’m not going to hate ALL women outright. Where will I go in life with that mentality. Man up, you fucking moron.
She’s even more retarded than the usual and drooled like a punched spastic onto a keyboard some bile meant to call Dick “Pottyhead” ,or something.
Who the fuck would know and who the fuck really care what some woman spasming on a Man Only site is gibbering about?
Unless you are a women, but who the fuck cares about them?
Haha she called dick a pothead
Currency support from one and cock support from another.
3 Days Grace - Take Me Under
ok i just read the whole of this and i swear there are some really offensive things said about women.
i can admit yes we do control things occasionally but if you got close enough to one you’d understand we’ed quite like just a little support. i just broke up with my boyfriend. he gave a me a reason and i said well if its that bad help me with it. so n all fairness if you get close enough and can actually talk you’d understand men and women are in the same boat but becasue most women are scared of getting hurt they control things to avoid it at all costs.
1. Your spelling is disgusting.
2. Dump her, dumbfuck.
my gf say she so tuff but is reely 1 drama btch so needy all the time wash she would leave me alone
dumb article, if thats the case maybe you should stay single all your life or get a boyfriend. Pointless.
We have another harasser.
Christ, I wanted to believe that girls were good and pure - I wanted to, but then I realized that all they wanted was for me to fear them. Girly-girls are so emotionally immature - look at this, she’s devolved to immature name-calling. I notice more and more that many, many of the screwed aspects of society can be traced back to emotional bitching.
I mean, look at how a corrupt, stupid politician thinks - he spews out whatever the hell the vocal majority is screaming about womyn’s bathrooms or whatever and then he ends up getting one fuck-up too many when he promotes his head hooker to a position. Dumb-fuck confuses a teary, sobby cock-mongling with actual pragmatic ability. That’s a bitch way to think.
All of the people posting here need a life!
Whatever!
To Aaron, Stacy and Shawnie: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ME A BEER!!!!
If you all hate this site so fucking much then why do you support it by posting comments? GET OUT NOW and leave us to our Constitutional opinions!!!!
My response to the original question: My girlfriend is needy: Get rid of the whore!!! If she is needy now, how the fuck do you think she will be in one year, five years or 10 years?????
If I had to take a guess, you probably married the bitch and are stuck because you have kids now? Sorry bastard!!!!!
Aaron, FUCK OFF!!! If you are SUCH a stand up guy, then go work for the suicide hotline or your local animal rescue league!!! Maybe that will make you man up???? Somehow I doubt it you pussy, GO HOME TO MOMMA!!!!
Stacy you have just single handedly proven why this site is so successful!! THANKS you stupid bitch!!!! Give women enough rope and they WILL eventually hang themselves!!!!
Shawnie, how old are you? 13? I don’t want to scar you anymore than your family already has, so I will simply say SHUT UP!!!! (and)……
Wolfe wrote in a previous post that women give birth and teach their children to be poor. That’s absolutely true!!!!
Shawnie, what was the name of the first street you lived on and what was the name of your first pet? THAT will be the name that you should use when you finally decide that crackhead prostitute is not for you and you become a stripper.
And PLEASE, I BEG you, DON’T have any kids!!!!!
Taking no prisoners……
You are not a man!!!! A man takes care of his woman, not kick her to the curb!!!!!
SHURT THE F*** UP, DICK!!!! THIS SITE IS CRUDE, RUSE, AND ABSOLOUTE S***!!!! HOW COULD YOU HATE WOMEN??? HONESTLY!!!!! WHAT KIND OF POT-HEAD MAKES A SITE ABOUT THIS???? WOMEN ARE NICE, SWEET, KIND, AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!! GIRLS, DON’T LISTEN TO THIS S*******!!!!!! HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!! DICK, SHUT THIS SITE DOWN!!!!!!
It is sad that you do not follow what you preach. Why, like the numerous women on this site, reply then? Are you a troll?
Facism.
Why dont you tell the feminists the exact same thing? Oh wait. You’re a woman and a hypocrite.