Ask Dick: Who Can I Fuck?

This question was sent to me by Jordan:

My problem is inherently sexual. I am completely disgusted by American women. I am 22 years old, and I have spent the last three years avoiding sex because I refuse to allow these ugly American bitches to feel “pretty”, regardless of the benefit to me.

It’s driving me up the wall. I honestly feel that if I don’t get laid soon, I will kill myself. Any advice?

This Ask Dick question affected me deeply, as the loss of a man’s life is one of the biggest tragedies there is. Every time I see a bunch of women on television whining about some puppy mill that was just discovered in the trailer next door, it makes me want to throw a cinder block through the television.

Fuck puppies. Some man somewhere didn’t get laid today. That’s a tragedy.

But I’m not a woman, so I don’t let my emotions ruin my possessions or sex drive.

First of all, Jordan, no matter where you are, there are always alternatives to American women. Even in America there are Mexican women, Canadian women, even Polish women. Granted, women from all countries have massive failings that ultimately cannot be compensated for by anything other than your manly charity and pity, but it doesn’t hurt to mix up the genetic deck every once in a while.

That’s why God gave men dicks: to stir up the genetic melting pot.

It may also surprise you that American women are not the most self-obsessed prostitutes on the face of the Earth. That’s an honor that could only go to Australian women. A good and manly way to appreciate what you have is to deprive yourself of it. That’s one of the reasons I throw sandwiches in the street all the time. It only increases my appreciation of them.

Why not take a trip to Australia? A land where women’s noses are bigger than kangaroos, their laughs are as nasal as a dentist’s drill, and their opinions are twice as loud as they are stupid. Also, they’re the worst in bed.

Australian women are so bad in bed, they don’t even know when sex is happening. The rape statistics down there are completely fucked.

Lastly, and perhaps my best piece of manvice is: lower your expectations.

Women can’t meet anything with grace. Deadlines, your parents, your expectations; no matter what, you end up with fuck ups, embarrassment, and a three-year dry spell.

Would you try to engage a child on the merits of Reaganomics? No, but you might perform a magic trick for them and send them on their way. Would you expect a man to wash your dishes after you were done eating? Would you expect a broken television to fix itself after I threw a cinderblock through it?

No.

Men are better than women. Having sex with women is basically a form bestiality; albeit a socially condoned one. And it always will be. At least until they invent a word for having sex with someone who is mildly retarded.

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125 Responses to “Ask Dick: Who Can I Fuck?”

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  1. THE MALESTROM Says:

    Savant, if you cannot comprehend Son of the Suns’ comment to you….you are exactly what I thought you were…

    A ridiculous pile of meat, whose neurons comprise of nothing but steaming human shit, you can suck a turd out of my fucking arse too…CUNT.

  2. Chris Says:

    Would anyone want to get back to commenting on Dick’s posting?
    Just a thought.
    Chris

  3. wolfe Says:

    On the whole issue of race/tribalism, as Dick said “it doesn’t hurt to mix up the genetic deck every once in a while.”

    If you value your ethnic or racial homogeneity excessively, you’re likely to end up marrying one too many cousins. Moreover, set your sights too narrowly, and you give people of the opposite sex (of your background) a great deal of demographic power indeed. And no man wants to do that for a woman.

    (Look at what Black women have done to themselves in preferring, overwhelmingly, to date Black men who by contrast will date women of almost any ethnicity. Of course that also feeds back into Dick’s ‘women are better at being racist’ line.)

    @Chris, @MansVoice. I certainly agree with you on Singaporean women in particular and Asian women in general. Mind you, there was this one woman from Laos… anyway, that’s a story for another time.

    @Sony indeed, though I suspect Ms. Lane has been rather spoiled by excessive Americanization. Not to say pr0n acting.

    @Savant: Indeed.

    -wolfe

  4. wolfe Says:

    Oh and Dick’s line on how to solve a 3 year dry spell “Get a wedding ring”. That should be added to The Best Dick, or whatever that thread in the forums is called.
    -wolfe

  5. fred Says:

    Coming from an Australian man you’r right about Australian women Dick, They are alot worse than American women. There isn’t any decent women left in the land downunder.

  6. Female Says:

    Fred, have you ever been to the Americas?

  7. Female Says:

    This forum is racist against Australians.

  8. Female Says:

    Bigotted..whatever.

  9. MansVoice Says:

    THE MALESTROM said:
    Good…fuckhead…I don’t want you fucking white bitches, so I am glad you are not doing so.

    You ridiculous cunt. Suck a turd out of my arse.

    Well, well dont you suck my cock you fucking racist bastard. Alot of men, real men, agree that asian women are in general nice. I made a post about it and you had to get all “whiny”. Its al-right if you dont get to lay them. Just shut the racist mouth, white boy.

  10. wolfe Says:

    @mansvoice whoa!

    You don’t defeat your opposition by becoming it.

    “white boy?”
    “fucking racist bastard”?

    Sure, he(?) seems all that, but back off the guy(?). Let him/her be the piece of trash (or a man) that delivers racist insults.

    This site isn’t about holding things in tolerance so men of different colors and origins can barely tolerate one another.

    It’s about being men together, respecting that, and saying a cool ’sayanora’ (everyone hates the Japanese, am I right lads?) to those who disagree. Yes, yes, that was a joke about the Japanese.

    Asian women are not just nice but darn fine. You’re intellectually and emotionally correct in what you say. Just back off the ‘white boy’ stuff, even — especially — if it is to a white boy/girl.

    Lot of black lads, white lads, yellow lads here. Fighting about race is how women like Margaret Sanger (look her up) win.

    No one here is white, yellow, red, or black. We’re men. That’s the sine qua non.

    Whenever some piece of trash on this site says racist crap, say to yourself “that’s not a man… that’s a woman”.

    More often than not, you’ll be right.

    What we do as men is we give each other an extra yard. Everywhere. Think about it.

    -wolfe

  11. wolfe Says:

    @all and to add one thing. I know Mansvoice is a man, so I’m responding to him. Malestrom comes off as a girl. Whether or not MS is, I don’t know. Generally when some newbie girl comes in and spouts racist crap I ignore her.

    I rapped MV’s knuckles precisely because I know he’s a good man who shouldn’t succumb to crap. MV has my considerable respect, or I’d not have bothered speaking to him so directly.

    -wolfe

  12. Savant Says:

    @Wolfe …. America is a country of freedom. Freedom that happens to include racism. If someone chooses to be a rascist, more power to them, that’s a right allotted them.

    I also reserve my right and freedoms to dislike and insult bigots who have opinions I deem “shitty”. Freedom works both ways… some ways more detrimental than others. I feel your point, however.

    @Malestrom …. I resent being called a cunt. It is a highly innacurate term, seeing as I don’t even have the parts you reference. Please refer to anatomically correct insults from now on. Thank you.

    @Female … they are the same damn thing.

    So how about them Yankees?

  13. Savant Says:

    And before I forget…

    son of the suns said:

    If you’re Asian I absolutely gaurauntee whatever your native country is, they say the same shit about white tourists when it can’t be heard.

    I hear your point. I’ve been to Asia, and some of them have rather low things to say about us. I also agree with the “tribal” comment, and countries keeping to their own.

    The “idiot savant” comment struck me as a kind of non sequitur is all. No love lost.

  14. MansVoice Says:

    @ Wolfe: Thanks for the reprimand. Well noted and received. It just sucks to get insulted by racist means. Apologies.

  15. Trek Says:

    wolfe said:

    Oh and Dick’s line on how to solve a 3 year dry spell “Get a wedding ring”. That should be added to The Best Dick, or whatever that thread in the forums is called.
    -wolfe

    Ha! Good thing I haven’t pitched mine in the Ohio river yet! It may have purpose for me still …

  16. diamatik Says:

    wolfe said:

    (everyone hates the Japanese, am I right lads?)

    Well, with the amount of people I see going goo-goo for anime, I’d beg to differ with your statement.

  17. sonyad Says:

    diamatik said:

    Well, with the amount of people I see going goo-goo for anime, I’d beg to differ with your statement.

    Oh, the furfaggotry!
    Them be some sick (zoophilic?) puppies on the nets.

    - Shah & Cosmo pres. Purple Mood - One Night In Tokyo (DJ Shah Savannah Mix)

  18. Banzai Says:

    Female, I would have to disagree. I did not even think it was negative of Australian women until you just mentioned it here. I think it simply heckles feminists (I’m not sure if they have a feminist movement down under.

    The poor guy way above just wants to get laid. Is that a problem.

    Are their any “easy” women in your neck of the woods? if so, what don’t you hook ol Jordan up.

    -Banzai

    Female said:

    This forum is racist against Australians.

  19. Banzai Says:

    Wolfe, you are wise my friend.

    Instead of bickering about each other, let’s focus back on feminism, and more importantly, how do we get Jordan laid and break the 3 year dry spell.

    Back in the day, a woman would recognize that a fellow was in need and would throw him a “mercy-fuck”.

    No strings attached. It was a “just because” kind of thing.

    Any women on this site up for that to help out ol Jordan????? :-)

    -Banzai

  20. wolfe Says:

    @diamatik it was a riff (perhaps a bad one) on 1933-onwards in Asia.

    @Sony As for anime, who can forget the glories of the program that had “hey hey lets go fighting love” as the theme song. (If I recall the lyrics).

    How they got that one past the network/cable censors, I shall never know.

    -wolfe

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