Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.
How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.
Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?
Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them.
Women who are teenagers are like men who are teenagers. They’re stupider than their adult counterparts.
Granted, with women it’s hard to tell.
That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles. Just because a woman says she’s 14 and has the grammar of a drunken Carny, doesn’t mean that she is. Maybe she’s just having her period. Maybe she thinks that’s cute, who the fuck knows. Women lie all the time is my point. That’s why so many of them get pregnant.
Young women can’t do the same incredible things that young men can; things like sports and math and putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it. Young women are just like women: they can’t do anything at all, incredible or not. As teenagers, however, they’re still full of hopes and dreams.
Stupid hopes and dreams.
When men are young men, they think they’re going to grow up and be Batman or James Bond or some fucking Rockstar playing two guitars at the same time; even if the odds are stacked massively against them. Batman, for example, didn’t weight 185 and drink Cherry Coke by the liter when he was 16. Women are the same, except a woman’s version of fortune and fame is a guy who will tolerate her for her endless parade of bullshit. Women are the Carnival of bullshit. It never fucking stops and by the third float you’ve seen just about all you’re going to see.
Teenage women who want a man who loves them, cares for them, and any other synonymous emotions women use because they love repeating themselves so fucking much, aren’t settling for anything. They’re just enjoying four years of the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream a woman ever experiences in her whole fucking life. The dream of having a say or a preference in a mythical man who takes an infinite amount of a woman’s grating, unending crap, occupies the life of the teenage girl. This is a dream women abandon at at the age of 22 in an act known as Learning Her Place.
Unless you count those harpy 30-somethings who think their pets are children. That’s the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream of femininity: children who can be locked in the fucking house.
Joey, minus ten Man Points for the non-offensive substitution of a swear word. Swearing loudly and with gusto is the best and manliest way to show anyone in ear shot that you are a man. That’s why teenagers do it so obnoxiously. They’re becoming men.
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March 12th, 2007 at 6:07 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Good points as usual Dick.
I might add that when these girls are looking to settle what they really mean is I need a man to take me away from Mom because she is getting on my nerves.
March 12th, 2007 at 8:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 8299878eb9077
Have you ever tried that? I did. I knocked the snake out with a quick flick.
March 13th, 2007 at 6:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2f2d948528fdf
“That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles.”
-One thing I semi-agree with. Though these guys are pretty sick, I put more blame on the dumb 14 year olds that agree to meet with them. Btw, I hate feeling embarrassed for other people, so I hate watching that show. Makes me cringe. Every Dude Thats Been On That Show: “i wasn’t actually going to do anything with her”.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 76e36f9177b89
Then again, why is it always 100% the accusor’s fault? Shouldn’t the stupid little girls serve time too? I mean, they did commit a crime. I’m not saying that a pre-teen victim should take the blame for what some pervert does, but when a 15 year old girl dresses like a slut, gets drunk, and then ends up in some stranger’s bed, she’s kind of accountable for HER behavior. The difference is that with an 11 or 12 year old, they’re stupid like most children are and even if it is ‘consentual,’ they definately were deceived or exploited. However, after at least 13 (hey, if they beg to wear heels and whore paint, then they really should be held accountable for their mistakes and such,) consentual sex is more of their fault because it takes two to make a mistake. It obviously was the girl who chose to drink, which she did, and the guy was not funnelling the booze down her gullet. She drank herself, which was quite illegal. So, what if those mature girls who went out and found someone to fuck them were the ones who got arrested and sentenced? I mean, it’s statistics. If a slut goes out, gets hammered, and waits for someone to charm their drunk, ditzy selves into bed, which someone will do, then apparantly they should be arrested because they were the ones who consented to have the sex.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 469965d0b0222
My personal experiences with high school girls has made me firm in my wish to never have a daughter. I would probably walk out of the hospital room for a breather if i ever hear the words “congratulations, it’s a baby girl”… Sometimes I wonder why the doctor even congratuates such unfortunate fathers.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:30 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Classic.
-Dick
March 14th, 2007 at 3:30 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
It’s obvious girls/women can’t be accountable and they should have someone watching and guiding their every move. I think Islam has the idea.
March 14th, 2007 at 4:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
I agree Dave.
However, when I have a daughter, I will make sure she fears no one, but me. A good woman knows her place, like my girlfriend.
March 14th, 2007 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
Women are good for a couple of things.
1. Sex
2. Cleaning
That’s about it. Oh yeah, and they look good naked - did i mention that?
In truthfulness, i don’t hate women. But i loath feminists, they piss me off endlessly.
March 14th, 2007 at 7:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Same for me.
March 14th, 2007 at 5:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 771a520544aad
Same for us all.
March 16th, 2007 at 5:41 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Awesome as always, Dick.
Got a related link for everyone tangential to this subject. There’s a great Youtube video from some teenaged girl complaining about girls being skanky on Spring Break.
Now, while I’m in total agreement with her that girls shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near Spring Break (and trust me, my daughters will never go anywhere on Spring Break as long as I have any control over them), her video is fascinating because of her idiotic ramblings about the skanky things girls do.
The best one is at 03:53 where she complains about girls getting their boobs autographed by band members at concerts. Her reason, though, is hysterical. It’s not that it’s attention-whoring at its finest, it’s that the autograph will wash off, and then what do you have to remember the concert by? You know, aside from all the guys staring at your tits?
This is why I stay abreast of the Internet. With my daughters entering their teenaged years, I never ever want to see them posting these kinds of videos where just anyone can see them. She has no idea how dumb she is, and it’s embarrassing.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
The mind boggles, staggers and drops dead…
March 16th, 2007 at 7:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Then rises up as a zombie and becomes a woman’s mind.
March 16th, 2007 at 7:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Replace woman’s with feminist’s.
March 16th, 2007 at 9:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 50d5c4775cccf
I managed to watch the entire video at the second attempt. At the first attempt my cringe-o-meter blew a fuse after about 40 seconds.
March 16th, 2007 at 10:22 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
That long? It took me a couple of attempts just to understand her.
There are, sadly, a lot of videos like that on YouTube, usually from (what a shock) females.
It was really tough listening to her pronounce “boobs” as “byubes” the entire time. I started wanting to reach through the video feed, grab her by the throat, and scream, “Where the frak are you from that byubes is a frakking word?! If you can’t handle that, just say tits, oK??”
March 17th, 2007 at 1:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
well that sounds quite violent and totally against your philosophical zero aggression principles I would think.
March 17th, 2007 at 1:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Why? First hunch is most accurate.
- paul van dyk - words (Original Mix)
March 17th, 2007 at 5:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 78aa99a80f85e
Great Ghu, Female, are you still here?
And by the way, you can want to do something all you like. It’s when you actually do it that it becomes a problem.
Kind of how I want to put a blocker to this web site on your computer for your own good. If I actually did it, that would be a problem.
March 17th, 2007 at 5:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Eh, I suppose. But feminists piss me off more than women.
March 17th, 2007 at 5:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Ok fuck off dear, the adults are talking.
March 17th, 2007 at 6:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d94e002906c83
Please do it.
March 17th, 2007 at 7:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 4538a50bbe1d5
Just went on YouTube and watched a few more cringe-worthy videos. Check out the woman at the end of this one.
March 17th, 2007 at 8:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 78aa99a80f85e
Geeza, in that video at 03:27, what is that strange couple doing in the background? I can’t quite decide, but it looks like they’re starting to make out.
Also, the lesbian couple at 04:47 kind of turns my stomach …
As for that last woman … damn. Two words of advice: get off the drugs, and see a shrink right away.
YouTube is filled with this kind of stuff — it makes you realize just how many lives that unchecked female activism has destroyed.
March 17th, 2007 at 12:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4fe6d445c0fff
No one has the balls to speak publicly about such things is the problem.
March 17th, 2007 at 1:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Kind of like Cannes.
March 17th, 2007 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: f75c92aeb197e
Your words of advice could be given to most women.
March 18th, 2007 at 10:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 175927c23b5a9
[chorus:]
When my baby’s walking down the street
I see red, I see red, I see red.
How could someone wicked walk around free
I see red, I see red, I see red.
I see red, I see red
(red!), I see red.
I respect your wishes
You gave me such precious hours
What to do without you.
Squeezed me out of your life
Down the drain like molten toothpaste
I feel used and spat out.
Poor old me
[chorus]
I’m fed up with crying
My despair is dying,
Turning into rage, day by day
Green before you met me
In the pink when you let me love you
I was blue when you let me down
Black and Blue
[chorus]
Go!
I see red, I see red, I see red…
March 19th, 2007 at 1:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
Just went on YouTube and watched a few more cringe-worthy videos. Check out the woman at the end of this one.
I couldn’t stand to watch more than 30 seconds of these videos. Don’t these chicks realize just how fucking stupid they are?
March 19th, 2007 at 1:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 78aa99a80f85e
Nope. Hence this video. And this one (which has three parts — watch them all). And this one.
And then, on a different note, there’s this one. And this little montage.
So no, they don’t have a clue just how fucking stupid they are. And they’re proud of it.
March 19th, 2007 at 3:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
Nope. Hence this video. And this one (which has three parts — watch them all). And this one.
And then, on a different note, there’s this one. And this little montage.
So no, they don’t have a clue just how fucking stupid they are. And they’re proud of it.
The first one is a must-see. I wish i had come up with that idea.
March 19th, 2007 at 3:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
If only women could follow Dick’s advice: Ignorance is not cute!
March 19th, 2007 at 7:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 78aa99a80f85e
The best one is actually in this video at 02:10, where Brainless Twit Number Three actually says, “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” as she signs the petition to end women’s suffrage.
The kicker, of course, is that her two girlfriends, Brainless Twits Numbers One and Two were with her. They’d previously signed and then found out what it meant. Yet they didn’t once try and stop Twit Three — and in fact stood there laughing while she did it.
Typically female: “I did something stupid, so let’s trick my friend into doing something stupid so I don’t feel too much like an idiot.”
To be fair, the women at the League Of Women Voters table actually knew what it meant. I have to admit that watching it, I thought it would be the height of irony if they hadn’t.
March 20th, 2007 at 7:55 am - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
Those videos are brutal.
The only problem is the definition offered at the beginning is needless: Men know the meaning of suffrage.
(I guess the video is intended for women, too)
March 20th, 2007 at 8:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
Your post got me thinking. It’s intended for women too, because there’s so few women out there that does comedy.
I’m going to ask a serious question here. While there are areas in society where there’s more women than men, is there really ANY area where we can truly say that women are better than men?
I’ve been thinking about the subject for 10 minutes now. And I simply can’t seem to find any sports-dicipline, line of work, or art, where women ARE better than men.
Can someone help me? I’d like some input from a woman on this subject.
March 20th, 2007 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: e452c567ebda5
Everything you women see ,hear and touch outside of nature was more than likely either creating and orengineered by a man. That includes, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the freeway or highway you drive on, the computers you use, every machine or appliance you know and dont know of. Women are her for one reason only, to keep the species going. If every invention that any man ever made were to suddenly FUCKING DISAPPEAR imagine where your life would be? You would be a little more than a cave women. Sound appelaing to all you feminists nut cases out there? The quality of life you live is 99% atributable to mens intelligence and hard work, not womens. Many american women need a fucking reality check BIG TIME!
March 20th, 2007 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 1621440ee0ecd
Speak it big guy!
March 20th, 2007 at 10:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
yeah he nailed it…
All women should repeat this a few hundred times til they get the hang of it. Men are better than women.
Motley Crue - Hammered
August 31st, 2007 at 3:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 2211d6aa540f9
wow you guys need to find a proper girl, not all of them are like that, just the ones you guys find obviously!
what about your mums? did they sleep around and do all this crap you are claiming? cause they are women aren’t they?
And saying that women dont do hardly anything in the world, are you crazy?
i admit, some women are stupid and whores, but only a few, there are more men that are like that! you cant stereotype them like that!
the only woman i know off that is anything like as bad as you all talk about is Germaine Grear!!
But seriously, get out there and meet some nice girls, there are lots
August 31st, 2007 at 5:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
How much do you guys wanna bet that a teenaged girl was looking over his shoulder as he wrote that.
Best of luck tapping that ass, Sam.
August 31st, 2007 at 6:39 am - IP Man-Hash: ccf3bc782b7e2
I am not a woman but I be glad to help you answer that. To be honest, I thought about it for days yet I could come up with no answer. Perhaps women may be better in areas like parenting, cleaning, handling mails, doing appointments (secretary work)? Women are pretty good with details and making sure there are no errors missing. This I give that fair credit. However, men are just better 99% of the time.
That explains the existence of this site and why women are “being fucked” and not “fucking”
September 24th, 2007 at 1:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 540f95f4d5a0c
September 24th, 2007 at 2:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 540f95f4d5a0c
This is absolutely true, and it’s not brought up often enough.
Women like to argue that past sexist-repression held them back from significant contributions in the arts, discoveries, invention, atheletics, etc.
However, let’s look at just one (maybe two) of these areas to disabuse women of this “glass ceiling” type notion: invention.
If the reason more women didn’t invent/weren’t credited with more inventions, yesteryear, was sexism of some manifest, then why is it, EVEN CONTEMPORARILY, men invent 90+% of EVERYTHING? Hmmm? I mean, after all, with all the favoritism and protectionism reserved for them, all their ideas would be delivered to the United States Patent and Trade Office on the proverbial silver platter - if they had any.
Atheletics: can anyone name one thing where the best ten women in any game/sport could beat the ten best men?
This society needs to dump the PC nonsense, and get real.
Fargo, ND
December 16th, 2007 at 5:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 4d8b44152f1f3
“Women like to argue that past sexist-repression held them back from significant contributions in the arts, discoveries, invention, atheletics, etc.
However, let’s look at just one (maybe two) of these areas to disabuse women of this “glass ceiling” type notion:”
They’re too fucking stupid to realise it…
If they are too fucking stupid to go past the “feminised and non-existant glass ceiling”, then they do not deserve to pass it…
December 16th, 2007 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
How many times have the men on this site ever been a teenage girl?
December 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8e86de744d7eb
Fortunately none. And we are so thankful to be born of the gender which is better.
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:08 am - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
This article particularly offends me becase as you all know, I am a teenage girl. You all want to know what I have to go through on a daily basis that I bet you wouldn’t even be able to handle? My family. I’m not talking about getting into fights occasionaly, or even a divorce. My dad is threatening to commit suicide, and I am afraid that he might actually do it this time. My mom calls my brother and I horrible names such as a pussy (that one is just to my brother) bitch, saying that I look like a whore, and saying that she wishes that we was never born. My brother is emotionally disturbed (suprise, suprise!) and punches my mom, and pulls down his pants, shakes his penis at me and tells me to suck his balls. He never used to act like that, and fortunatly, I am stronger and older than him, so he can’t actually DO anything to me. You think that teenage girls are stupid, but mabye, they just don’t know what to do in a tough dicision that I doubt alot of the people on this website would be able to make.
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: be93bbbcaf7e0
No one gives a shit, Debbie Downer. Fuck off my website.
-Dick
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
You are too kind Dick.
I am sorry for you proutathiest, I hope your family figures everything out.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: c0bb8868ca068
@Proutatheist:
You should be on a support help line. Not this site.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
I don’t know you, and I don’t find you likable. Why in the hell would I give a shit about your little bleeding heart stories? You think you’re the only one in the world who has to go through shit, and that makes you better than everyone else?
Right-o, bitch-o. Try being falsely imprisoned or always, always being guilty until proven innocent by a cute little jaded teenage schoolgirl, and then perhaps you would know what shit is. Really, nobody gives a shit about you have put yourself through - you’ve had a while to think the situation through and so far you’ve only thought to start a pity party and invite a bunch of people whom you regularly tell off. Typical teenage girly-girl.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
Side note: And yet under all of this drama, she still has a computer with an internet connection and time to post her family’s personal business. No shit, there are dysfunctional families - it’s kind of difficult to sympathize with someone who thinks she’s genetically superior to me due to her gender.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
I’m sorry, I must have missed it. Don’t worry about repeating/contradicting yourself, I’ve heard the same thing over and over and all I can glean from the mess is self-obsessed bullshit. Typical girly-girl, a computer with an internet connection and all she can think of is what she doesn’t have yet.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Genetically superior, no. I think that men are better than women at alot more things than women think. But I do not think that women can not be great.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Ok, so what exactly would you expect me to do with this “internet connection”? My mom is the cause of most of this, because she treats my dad like s**t, but I digress, why would I tear my family apart just to go into some foster care home that is probably no better than mine?
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Who is Debbie Downer?