Man’s Real Best Friend
Have you ever made beer? Probably. Your answer is “probably” not necessarily because of the question, but because you’re a man and women have brow-beaten men into answering with ambiguity over the course of several millennia.
“Yeah. This is probably me standing here. Why are you asking?”
Because why the fuck would she be asking? Ambiguity is good Manjo. Next question. Have you ever thought about making beer?
“Yes” is the answer to that. An emphatic yes. That’s because at least once in his life, every man has looked down at a glass or a pail of tasty-delicious brew and thought to himself, ‘where does it all come from?’ Just like a woman does when she looks at her thighs. I’m not sure because I have no frame of reference, but I bet the seat belts in Barbie’s Dream Mustang do not have a notch for Thunder Thighs.
Beer is a man’s true best friend and his only viable life long companion. Dogs don’t live long enough and women are for men what salt is to a slug. Alluring, shriveling death incarnate. Like the sirens of Homer’s Odyssey or a crumpled ten dollar bill in the middle of the road.
That’s why men invented beer. The powers that be didn’t provide an equal to man so he devised his own. A monument to all things man. A counterpart birthed in his own glorious image that gives constantly and consistently without ever asking for recompense. Just like a man. Beer is man’s gift to himself.
Let’s look at the positives. Beer makes all your jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive (something ugly women can’t do themselves because they’re too busy being feminists or “lesbians”). Beer is also cool and refreshing and a good listener — you have to drink a lot of them for that one to kick in, but it’s true.
My point is that men make beer and men drink beer for reasons that are so pure and manly that they make me want to stop writing immediately and go chop down a tree with an axe while I’m listening to political talk radio and telling my wife or girlfriend that I’m not dancing tonight or ever.
But I digress.
The reason I bring this up at all is two fold. Firstly because today is National Beer Friday, which is always the first Friday of October; and the second is to point out that there is no analog of beer for women. Women have nothing that sums them up in a nutshell in the same way that men have beer because there is nothing to sum up. Women would like to say each one of them is a beautiful flower or better yet or porcelain vase (completely empty inside, but beautiful), but I’ve never seen a porcelain vase in the shape of a bowling ball.
If women did have a beer analog, it would be crossword puzzles. Just a bunch of unanswerable, non-sequitur questions about nothing arranged in no order and for no purpose. Plus you have to wait a week after answering to see if you fucked up.
Here I’ve got a crossword for you.
7 Down: A fourteen letter word for feminists.
Related Articles:
EXPOSING THE CUNT FOR THE PATHETIC HOKKER BITCH CUNTS THEY ARE!
Feminists demonizing men as disrespectful, inadequate, discriminators??? How shocking.
PS.The idea that… “Women earn 70 cents to the dollar as the result of male discrimination” Is a manipulation achieved by comparing general incomes of all men and women in society. It conveniently ignores, education, experience, regional markets, over time, and POSITION HELD.
It just goes to show how institutionalized feminism is, and how much feminism has negatively stereotyped men, when a this glib sound bite can be used to see men falsely labeled as discriminators over the results of peoples free choices, and be used to advocate granting women privilege. What a blatant hate movement feminism is.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/03/nyregion/03women.h tml?ei=5090&…
http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/editorialsle tters/story….
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article /2007/04/02/…
http://www.nysun.com/article/50601
i got it. 14-letter word for feminist: Shutthefuckupcunt.
LMAO! That should go in the dictionary
Hi there everyone. I’ve been reading down the list of entries one by one for a few weeks now, but this is the first time i’ve decided to comment, mainly because I tend to prefer not to get embroiled with discussion like what tends to happen in this comments section, but i’m nearing the end of these articles, and will likely move on to something else when i’m done them.
Dick, you have a heck of a site here. I fully admit to visiting for a lark, thinking you couldn’t possibly do more than spout a bunch of crap shot through with ego and machismo. But you’ve changed my mind on chauvanism and feminism respectively. I must say, you have my utmost respect and support, and i’m eager to apply some of what you’ve taught me in your writings to my own life, where frankly everything you’ve said about women and how they act has been proven correct. I think the problem most men have is that they see this kind of crap women throw at them but they don’t really think they should, or can do much about it. Someone like you growing a pair and spreading wisdom regarding why feminism is a complete crock of shit and women are the same is not only amiable, but something you should be damn proud of, because feminism is such a silly thing full of nuance and utter shit that wading through it is above most self-respecting men, so to deal with it so gracefully and with such class is something I respect you for.
I have to say you’ve changed my mind on many matters. I can remember a very few things you’ve said that I didn’t agree with in full but you were making jokes at the time, or being a little less serious, so good job on all counts, minor disagreements aside.
I’m very surprised women comment here at all, like most of us. What’s really funny though, is that they keep proving you right even as they try to prove you wrong, and they’re oblivious to the fact they’re doing so. I guess that makes you also right about them wanting attention, good or bad, and doing anything to get it, otherwise they wouldn’t post here.
I’m giving your site the same kind of attention I gave Maddox’s site when I read it beginning to end, so at the point i’m posting this comment i’ve read close to 80% of the respectable volume of advice and musings you’ve provided me, and I am so far able to say there isn’t much here that either disinterests me or that I can’t see the point you’re attempting to make.
I may comment more before I finish my reading here, but if I choose not to, thanks for all the advice, and insight, and most of all the boost to self-respect as a man. I can honestly say we live in a world where it’s not hard at all to get the impression women are better than men, or at least have some use other than fucking, even though we all see that the opposite is true, so thanks for reaffirming what we all got confused by, and shrugging off the cloud of feminist dreck people can’t even question anymore without every woman in earshot ganging up and clusterfucking any man who dares question the Almighty Uterus these hens practically worship.
I was sick of women lauding credit on themselves and taking it from us for years and years, fruitlessly tried to find ‘the right woman’, and was getting frustrated with women in general till I read your site, but now I realize that women are quite manageable, if you can disarm them with a little dose of reality. I’m still not sure I want much to do with them, but hey, at least if I have to put up with one, I feel better-suited to handle their inane self-adoration.
Thanks again, Dick, and good luck with your goal. Also, you kicked ass on Dr. Phil, i’m impressed as fuck that you stood up there on TV and said it how you meant it and didn’t take any shit from that know-nothing piece of shit, Dr. Phil, or that dumb cow that took a charge at you. You plopped her back in her seat with a dumb look in her eyes and her lips flapping like an eighty year old cunt, and frankly that was the manliest, most awesome thing i’ve ever seen.
Cheers Dick, keep the good stuff coming.
Pixel: I agree Dick kicked some on Dr phil’s, also showing serious balls I doubt even I could have shown to do so. I’m glad he has helped to straighten your views out and if you do venture into ‘marriage’ at least protect your assets well. If you haven’t read it I suggest at least reading The Manipulated man just to reinforce your current view on females. Others exist, 3 of which Watcher has suggested (I have them on order) are also worth reading. Good luck, live happy.
Действительно, как говорится – Без пользы жить – безвременная смерть.
Весьма спорно, но как вариант
I feel like i’m at a sad crybaby farm……
You’re only sad because nobody here gives damn about you, what you think. Now go guzzle summers eve til you smell better and stop that crying, we don’t care about you.
Himself.
“7 Down: A fourteen letter word for feminists.”
But “Ubercunts” is a 9 letter word…
see woman like to associate their vagina’s with flowers, which is bullshit. 9 out of 10 flowers smell nice, in my experiance only 1 out of 10 vaginas may be clean without an unpleasant odor.
”beer is a man’s true best friend’
Don’t just say it…Provide a corroborating reference, or sit back down.
…obviously because you would lose.
If you thought you could win, you’d be salivating at the prospect.
You just demonstrated that MABTW. End of story.
Science comes up with numerous hypothesis each day. Apparently, they are continually being modified and worked upon. Remember, olden day scientists thought that the sun revolved around the earth. Especially in a subject as this.
Women suck at multi tasking. Dont make me laugh.
I was Vice Head Prefect, President of Student Council and President of various clubs through my school years as well as a hockey player. When I worked with women, they sucked at handling work, managing work or doing work. Granted, they were creative and artistic but their ideas are often overly idealistic and very impractical.
No doubt, women were hardworking and would do the work assigned to them but I still have to hold them back because while they like to propose alot of things, most are not feasible or requiring way too much effort/budget/time.
Mansvoice, hmmm, it’s wrong to say that it’s wrong are better at multi-tasking?? Science says otherwise.
Fight men? We gladly take on the challenge. Its like the Spartacus’s slave rebellion. It created a huge storm at the start. Everyone thought it was the next big thing. The same goes with feminism. Only this time, you dont have a man leading it so rest assured, victory is certain for the men.
@ Clair: You are correct to say that both genders use different areas of the brain. But when you say things like women are better in “multi tasking”, “communications” and all that blabber, we men dont buy it. Its bullshit. An all mans team easily beats an all womans team hands down in all those areas.
When I think of efficiency, class and skill, I think of manly teams like SWAT, SAS (Special forces in the army), top notch chefs teams (male’s teams) and management teams (think a group of men). Women are not in the same league as men. In fact, they are far far worst. Women suck as leaders, suck at driving and suck at ‘multi tasking’.
Btw, its redundant to bring up useless junk by ‘renowned’ feminist ‘doctors’. They love to bullshit women by making them feel useful/powerful. Its like making your pet dog feel good after it ’sits’ obediently. Wake up to reality – the signs are there. Men are better than women.
The reason why women were held down was because they were weak. Enough said. The weak serve the strong; thats why by virtue of your gender you serve. Even if you gain benefits in affirmative actions, you pay by serving your dues through whoring yourself out. Try not to take the literal meanings of ‘you’ – women love to do that. I am referring to women in general.
feminism**
claire, you say women are better at multitasking… look here sweetcheeks, you have to FINISH your multiple tasks for them to count. you women folk start 15,000 things, don’t finish shit and call it multitasking. shut up.
That my friend, has do with human social interaction. Not the dominance of the brain.
You see, mens brains are finely tuned into aggressive behaviour in order to climb the social scale, whereas women’s brains are finely tuned into the structure of the social system and how it functions. Hence the reason women, the less physically aggressive creature was held down for so long, however, being the SOCIALLY aggressive creature that women are, eminism came about and began to fight it.
There were few jobs for women to steal way back. Men had a place and women had theirs.
Women were never oppressed. Utter BS.
Men are always forced into military at times while women remain safe. Who has it worse?
Most women are to stupid to know the truth about anything.
If a mans brain isn’t greater then how do it con women into servitude for centuries?
Doubt, seriously, you must be mentally handicapped if you truly believe that men are better then women. Scientifically prove to me that homosapien males cognitive process and function is superior to homosapien females. Then, and only then, will I believe your argument and side with you.
Mansman, no. I would not like to arm wrestle you.
Mansvoice, refer to my comment directed to Doubt.
Men and women have different brains, with different pro’s and cons, but neither is better then the other. Thus men can not be better then women. End of story.
menarebetterthanwomen at everything other than squirting out babies, which we’re glad to find is your only useful points. Women suck as wives, friends, lovers and Mothers.
Now shove off.
Bill, i agree with you. But you are missing some of the picture. Women are better at squirting out babies, indeed, they are also pysicaly more adapted to care for them. Their brains are wiered so that they can keep an eye on the kid, and at the same time do her duty to her owner.
Clair, what is the point of sientifically prooving this? it is the sum of it all that makes men better than women.
Male capabillity > Female capability
Clair said…
Male average IQ is six points higher than womens. Rather than give you references for this I’ll give you something a bit meatier that goes into aspects of men’s tendency to dominate the elite in many things…
Sex Differences in Mathematical Aptitude – La Griffe du Lion
Simply put, men are better AND worse than women. Men are our diversity and women our average. This is our human genetic heritage actually…we are products of successful men and average women. The unsuccessful men, more than half throughout the species history, are the real oppressed of our past.
Fucking well said.
Btw, Clair, of coures we know that. What we are saying is, on average, men are better than women. There will be some weak men as there will be exceptionally capable women but all in all, men are better.
Care for an arm wrestle, Clair?
That’s nice, cockmongler. Let’s see what that womanizer Alexander the Great has to say, or any other of the great men whose achievements have been overshadowed by the negligent offshoots of girls in the name of equality. Yes, he was a military genius, but he didn’t have tits and a vagina, so let’s just write him out of the history books.
And where do you come from with this ‘all men must be superior to all women in every conceivable way before men can be better than women’ shit? There’s going to be some effeminate tools out there who go out [male - the out gay] gay-bashing and inflate your egos just to get a peek at your braless tits. There will be a few women who become productive members of society. That does not change the fact that the male gender is superior to the female gender.
Now, as much as we enjoy your emotional little rantings, we’re going to have to ask you to leave. It’s time for man-talk, dearie.
Dan said -
“Again with this hate. I don’t know why all the women around here seem to think that Dick hates them. All he’s doing is keeping things in perspective for all those men who have been brainwashed over the decades to believe that women are somehow their intellectual or physical equals.”
Your a moron. You truly are. What kind of sane person actually thinks that the opposite sex is not equal to them?? Granted you might just be smarter then some women, but I can guarantee you, there are many women smarter then you. Just because you smarter then Sally, Jane and Sarah doesn’t mean that your smarter then all women, or even stronger.
Yes we know you’ve been bomb-barded with every lie under the sun to make you feel smart and empowered and we also know that you women have no mental capabilities to decipher between fact and fiction.
You’re ignorant sweet tits, now just admit it.
Not so fast, Woody.
The supermarket where I shop at 4 am [less crowded] has an all-male shelf-stock crew. According to the woman [!] who does the overnight baking, they’ve had women on the crew but they didn’t work out because either they weren’t fast/precise enough or because they “bitch at customers for taking things off shelves they’ve just stocked, if you can imagine THAT. “
I can imagine that. That is just what women do. Find every reason to bitch. Few have the balls to tell them to shut up anymore.
That’s what I’m saying, Woody. Great link. It’s telling that the film industry doesn’t give two shits about women because as men we all know the first rule of mass media: give the people what they want.
-Dick
Imagine if they had a unisex award at the Oscars. Well actually, it turns out they do. It’s called Best Director, and if you’re a man, it shouldn’t be hard to work out who won it.
http://www.pubquizhelp.34sp.com/ent/direct.html
And Dick, you make a good point; one of the few industries now days that hasn’t been bogged down with equality bullshit quotas is film/theatre.
They would show wimmin at roundabouts coming to a halt, with no sign in site, they would show wimmin slowing down at traffic lights when they are green.
Amen to that, Woody.
It’s a good thing Hollywood only gives a shit about equality when it’s on the screen and not behind it. I don’t even want to imagine what swill would fill the theatres if the number of women directors approached that of their much better, male counterparts.
-Dick
I do work on film sets, crewing and directing on shorts and music videos. Now being on a film set is about helping out and contributing. Let me tell you something: never hire a woman to direct anything. The shit they pull is unbelievable
eg. one time it took 6 hours to direct a scene that was allocated 20 minutes. Why? Lack of planning and ineptness on the part of woman thinking about nobody but herself. Try lugging heavy camera equipment around London all day on the whims of an inept female. Not fun. Not fun at all.
My advice: don’t employ a woman for anything but stacking shelves at a supermarket.
Again with this hate. I don’t know why all the women around here seem to think that Dick hates them. All he’s doing is keeping things in perspective for all those men who have been brainwashed over the decades to believe that women are somehow their intellectual or physical equals. And how can we help but think about women? Their illogical rantings used to be confined to the home, but now that women have been thrust into the workplace like a Hun into a tea party, we can’t escape it.
For someone who supposedly hates women so much, you sure do spend a lot of time thinking about us.
How quaint.
-Dick
dude, if you hate women, then you must love men. why don’t you just admit it, and get over it? it’s totally okay. in fact, i think the world might be a better place if everyone embraced their homoerotic nature.
Is that an insult or a valid question? Because if it’s an insult I’m not even going to dignify it with a response.
-Dick
Dick, are you a homosexual?