Man’s Real Best Friend
Have you ever made beer? Probably. Your answer is “probably” not necessarily because of the question, but because you’re a man and women have brow-beaten men into answering with ambiguity over the course of several millennia.
“Yeah. This is probably me standing here. Why are you asking?”
Because why the fuck would she be asking? Ambiguity is good Manjo. Next question. Have you ever thought about making beer?
“Yes” is the answer to that. An emphatic yes. That’s because at least once in his life, every man has looked down at a glass or a pail of tasty-delicious brew and thought to himself, ‘where does it all come from?’ Just like a woman does when she looks at her thighs. I’m not sure because I have no frame of reference, but I bet the seat belts in Barbie’s Dream Mustang do not have a notch for Thunder Thighs.
Beer is a man’s true best friend and his only viable life long companion. Dogs don’t live long enough and women are for men what salt is to a slug. Alluring, shriveling death incarnate. Like the sirens of Homer’s Odyssey or a crumpled ten dollar bill in the middle of the road.
That’s why men invented beer. The powers that be didn’t provide an equal to man so he devised his own. A monument to all things man. A counterpart birthed in his own glorious image that gives constantly and consistently without ever asking for recompense. Just like a man. Beer is man’s gift to himself.
Let’s look at the positives. Beer makes all your jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive (something ugly women can’t do themselves because they’re too busy being feminists or “lesbians”). Beer is also cool and refreshing and a good listener — you have to drink a lot of them for that one to kick in, but it’s true.
My point is that men make beer and men drink beer for reasons that are so pure and manly that they make me want to stop writing immediately and go chop down a tree with an axe while I’m listening to political talk radio and telling my wife or girlfriend that I’m not dancing tonight or ever.
But I digress.
The reason I bring this up at all is two fold. Firstly because today is National Beer Friday, which is always the first Friday of October; and the second is to point out that there is no analog of beer for women. Women have nothing that sums them up in a nutshell in the same way that men have beer because there is nothing to sum up. Women would like to say each one of them is a beautiful flower or better yet or porcelain vase (completely empty inside, but beautiful), but I’ve never seen a porcelain vase in the shape of a bowling ball.
If women did have a beer analog, it would be crossword puzzles. Just a bunch of unanswerable, non-sequitur questions about nothing arranged in no order and for no purpose. Plus you have to wait a week after answering to see if you fucked up.
Here I’ve got a crossword for you.
7 Down: A fourteen letter word for feminists.
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I feel like i’m at a sad crybaby farm……
You’re only sad because nobody here gives damn about you, what you think. Now go guzzle summers eve til you smell better and stop that crying, we don’t care about you.
Himself.
“7 Down: A fourteen letter word for feminists.”
But “Ubercunts” is a 9 letter word…
see woman like to associate their vagina’s with flowers, which is bullshit. 9 out of 10 flowers smell nice, in my experiance only 1 out of 10 vaginas may be clean without an unpleasant odor.
”beer is a man’s true best friend’
Don’t just say it…Provide a corroborating reference, or sit back down.
…obviously because you would lose.
If you thought you could win, you’d be salivating at the prospect.
You just demonstrated that MABTW. End of story.
Science comes up with numerous hypothesis each day. Apparently, they are continually being modified and worked upon. Remember, olden day scientists thought that the sun revolved around the earth. Especially in a subject as this.
Women suck at multi tasking. Dont make me laugh.
I was Vice Head Prefect, President of Student Council and President of various clubs through my school years as well as a hockey player. When I worked with women, they sucked at handling work, managing work or doing work. Granted, they were creative and artistic but their ideas are often overly idealistic and very impractical.
No doubt, women were hardworking and would do the work assigned to them but I still have to hold them back because while they like to propose alot of things, most are not feasible or requiring way too much effort/budget/time.
Mansvoice, hmmm, it’s wrong to say that it’s wrong are better at multi-tasking?? Science says otherwise.
Fight men? We gladly take on the challenge. Its like the Spartacus’s slave rebellion. It created a huge storm at the start. Everyone thought it was the next big thing. The same goes with feminism. Only this time, you dont have a man leading it so rest assured, victory is certain for the men.
@ Clair: You are correct to say that both genders use different areas of the brain. But when you say things like women are better in “multi tasking”, “communications” and all that blabber, we men dont buy it. Its bullshit. An all mans team easily beats an all womans team hands down in all those areas.
When I think of efficiency, class and skill, I think of manly teams like SWAT, SAS (Special forces in the army), top notch chefs teams (male’s teams) and management teams (think a group of men). Women are not in the same league as men. In fact, they are far far worst. Women suck as leaders, suck at driving and suck at ‘multi tasking’.
Btw, its redundant to bring up useless junk by ‘renowned’ feminist ‘doctors’. They love to bullshit women by making them feel useful/powerful. Its like making your pet dog feel good after it ’sits’ obediently. Wake up to reality - the signs are there. Men are better than women.
The reason why women were held down was because they were weak. Enough said. The weak serve the strong; thats why by virtue of your gender you serve. Even if you gain benefits in affirmative actions, you pay by serving your dues through whoring yourself out. Try not to take the literal meanings of ‘you’ - women love to do that. I am referring to women in general.
feminism**
That my friend, has do with human social interaction. Not the dominance of the brain.
You see, mens brains are finely tuned into aggressive behaviour in order to climb the social scale, whereas women’s brains are finely tuned into the structure of the social system and how it functions. Hence the reason women, the less physically aggressive creature was held down for so long, however, being the SOCIALLY aggressive creature that women are, eminism came about and began to fight it.
There were few jobs for women to steal way back. Men had a place and women had theirs.
Women were never oppressed. Utter BS.
Men are always forced into military at times while women remain safe. Who has it worse?
Most women are to stupid to know the truth about anything.
If a mans brain isn’t greater then how do it con women into servitude for centuries?
Doubt, seriously, you must be mentally handicapped if you truly believe that men are better then women. Scientifically prove to me that homosapien males cognitive process and function is superior to homosapien females. Then, and only then, will I believe your argument and side with you.
Mansman, no. I would not like to arm wrestle you.
Mansvoice, refer to my comment directed to Doubt.
Men and women have different brains, with different pro’s and cons, but neither is better then the other. Thus men can not be better then women. End of story.
menarebetterthanwomen at everything other than squirting out babies, which we’re glad to find is your only useful points. Women suck as wives, friends, lovers and Mothers.
Now shove off.
Clair said…
Male average IQ is six points higher than womens. Rather than give you references for this I’ll give you something a bit meatier that goes into aspects of men’s tendency to dominate the elite in many things…
Sex Differences in Mathematical Aptitude - La Griffe du Lion
Simply put, men are better AND worse than women. Men are our diversity and women our average. This is our human genetic heritage actually…we are products of successful men and average women. The unsuccessful men, more than half throughout the species history, are the real oppressed of our past.
Fucking well said.
Btw, Clair, of coures we know that. What we are saying is, on average, men are better than women. There will be some weak men as there will be exceptionally capable women but all in all, men are better.
Care for an arm wrestle, Clair?
That’s nice, cockmongler. Let’s see what that womanizer Alexander the Great has to say, or any other of the great men whose achievements have been overshadowed by the negligent offshoots of girls in the name of equality. Yes, he was a military genius, but he didn’t have tits and a vagina, so let’s just write him out of the history books.
And where do you come from with this ‘all men must be superior to all women in every conceivable way before men can be better than women’ shit? There’s going to be some effeminate tools out there who go out [male - the out gay] gay-bashing and inflate your egos just to get a peek at your braless tits. There will be a few women who become productive members of society. That does not change the fact that the male gender is superior to the female gender.
Now, as much as we enjoy your emotional little rantings, we’re going to have to ask you to leave. It’s time for man-talk, dearie.
Dan said -
“Again with this hate. I don’t know why all the women around here seem to think that Dick hates them. All he’s doing is keeping things in perspective for all those men who have been brainwashed over the decades to believe that women are somehow their intellectual or physical equals.”
Your a moron. You truly are. What kind of sane person actually thinks that the opposite sex is not equal to them?? Granted you might just be smarter then some women, but I can guarantee you, there are many women smarter then you. Just because you smarter then Sally, Jane and Sarah doesn’t mean that your smarter then all women, or even stronger.
Yes we know you’ve been bomb-barded with every lie under the sun to make you feel smart and empowered and we also know that you women have no mental capabilities to decipher between fact and fiction.
You’re ignorant sweet tits, now just admit it.
Not so fast, Woody.
The supermarket where I shop at 4 am [less crowded] has an all-male shelf-stock crew. According to the woman [!] who does the overnight baking, they’ve had women on the crew but they didn’t work out because either they weren’t fast/precise enough or because they “bitch at customers for taking things off shelves they’ve just stocked, if you can imagine THAT. “
I can imagine that. That is just what women do. Find every reason to bitch. Few have the balls to tell them to shut up anymore.