Britney Spears: Not Just Jailbat Anymore (Apparently)
I’ve always wanted to name a phony whore MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Little did I know today would be my lucky day! I guess I should have read my horoscope, but I’m not a woman so I don’t waste my time reading fucking self-fulfilling bullshit and if I did I would give a fuck about it.
Gentlemen and all the women here who behave like little girls and not ladies and are fucking forbidden from reading this anyway, may I present MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month for July:
Britney Spears.
Britney “Hit me” Spears recently posed for the cover of Bazaar magazine. No big deal right? Women whore for attention every day. Who fucking cares?
Well, I care because this time the whore was pregnant as fuck! And boy does she show it!
Don’t believe me? I envy you. You, unlike me, won’t subject yourself to looking for the pictures of said mother-to-be in all their travesty. You’ll likely have a good laugh at an unappetizing by comically absurd future that may have been and go on your merry man-way. Besides, babies are like a James fucking Bond License to Whore. This is almost a non-event.
Then I got to thinking: where have I seen this kind of behavior before? Being a man, I immediately thought of an answer.
Men; that’s where I’ve seen it. Men do this type of man-shit all the time. We don’t whore for attention; we don’t pose for pregnant photos; and we don’t hold our babies like they’re heads of cabbage whilst we’re walking recklessly around New York or driving down to the fucking market for more scotch and hopefully a pack of condoms for fuck’s sake, but what we do do is not give any kind of a fuck how we look for pictures.
That’s what I see on this month’s cover of Bazaar; someone who clearly gives absolutely no fuck about looking like shit in front of a lot of people — and I mean a lot of people. I can’t think of anything more manly and mantastic.
Go look at wedding photos. Go back to the 70’s if you want. See all those moustmanstaches (moustaches) in your face? See those guys grinning like they’re doing a good thing? They are. Moustaches are fucking hideous, but so is everything done by Jackson Pollock. That doesn’t mean they’re also not precious works of fucking art that will blow your man-ass completely off and also the pants of all the hot ladies who get too close.
Congratulations Miss July. I think I can speak for everyone when I say I would absolutely love to hit you one more time.
Related Articles:
July 1st, 2006 at 5:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3e87127de1d4
Based on this reasoning, then Anna Nicole Smith is way more deserving of this award.
July 2nd, 2006 at 12:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 5282ede88ccec
We should really access the “Women’s Bible” and get it’s opinion first.
Found it here
July 2nd, 2006 at 11:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I think you’re being very unkind to Ms. Spears. You call her a “phony whore”. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s perfectly genuine.
As for the rest? Bang on. Congrats to “Ms” July.
-wolfe
July 2nd, 2006 at 5:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3e87127de1d4
As a man, I should have known better than to click that link from christianj. I have paid dearly for that mistake. I felt my IQ drop several notches just by glancing at the homepage.
How can a human being read that junk? That garbage negates the very essence of literacy.
July 3rd, 2006 at 1:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 17c1748ab4845
That link took maybe 20 seconds to load. Whilst it’s in Australia, that’s no excuse. MABTW loads in maybe a quarter second and it’s hosted (I’m assuming) in the US.
Maybe it’s a marketing tactic to make women want to read it even more, as they can’t get hold of what they want straight away?
I like the men’s msn page. Stuff about real news.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:27 am - IP Man-Hash: ddde179405fae
Notice now that Britney has grown up and become a Mum her appeal has dropped like a rock. Women really do age a little better than dogs.
No wonder they must have cosmetics.
The majority of womenare fugly without it.
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4b55b01ba14c
Personally, I like Lurleen-I mean Britney Spears…in a trailer park kind of way…nothing like skank lovin’! LOL! How many motorboats and Hummers has her hubby Cletus bought as of now, anyway?
September 18th, 2006 at 9:05 am - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
Diamatik, Bob christianj really should have warned you.
That kind of womanistic garbage has been swallowed by a large percentage of younger Aussie women.
I hate the crap because it always seems to be saying to women “you look/smell/think etc etc etc like shit (perhaps true…) so you need to buy this product to improve yourself”. Talk about giving women, especially teenage girls, self-esteem issues. These are the same mags that will then accuse men of oppressing women.
Fuck ladies, you don’t need any help from us.
I hate those columns in wimins mags that start with “My dumb male” or “the idoit man” or some such shit, spewing on about stupid men. Heads up ladies, men wouldn’t put that shit in a mens mag, mainly because as men we’re above that but also true is the reason THERE ISN’T ENOUGH WOOD IN THE AMAZON TOO PRINT A BOOK THAT BIG.
Why are the models in those mags (often the current catwalk models) in general UGLY AS SIN? They look like pipe cleaners with joints. No, really, what man wants a jumble of bones that looks like it would pass out if it had jog for 2 minutes?
Ladies if you want to find out what men think an attractive womanly body looks like
(And if you don’t well…….fuck off) pick up a MENS magazine and look at the lovely ladies presented within. It will be a revelation.
Women, in general, have curves. Men, in general, are attracted to curves (ass, tits, legs, fuck any cuurrvy bit of a woman).
And wimin, stop being a fucking victim! I’m sick of hearing how we, Mantastic Men fucked your lives. You have been given equal (and sometimes an unfair advantage, witness affirmative action. I call it sexual discrimination) in this world by men. Get over it, and get on with it and you’ll get the respect you deserve because you’ve earned it.
Bob, fear not, sporting/business/political (important) news in all its Mantastic glory dominates most newspapers and evening news. Its finals time for rugby league and Aussie Rules footy, the two main footy codes. These are Mantastic games with plenty of biff. Check it out at http://www.nrl.com/ and http://afl.com.au/
We’ve heard of soccer. Not many people are convinced. It’s just too well Feminin. I think the Aussieroos or some crap, our team came 10-16 at the world cup …..yaaawwwwnnnn.
Oh and Britany…hehehehehe.. white trash made money.. I speculate she will chew up and spit out the (dumb) men in her life. Nothing more than walking baby batter to her perhaps?
September 18th, 2006 at 11:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
At least our ball doesn’t look like Oprah sat on it.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
Too true sonyad, too true.
I played soccer for 7 years from age 5 to 12 because my mother (wimin!) thought that league and AFL were too rough!! Can you believe it? Luckily for me my Father, a former South Sydney rabbitoh (rugby league team – Russel Crowe owns ‘em), finally put his foot down when I was 12 and let me play a real MAN game.
sonyad in my opinion soccer disallows the use of hands, but uses a perfectly spherical ball that is very predictable in bounce, making it controllable. AFL and to a lesser extent Rugby league players, need awesome ball control because the thing is shaped liked Oprah sat on it. We call it a pill. (Do Americans call the gridiron ball a pill?)
Again I say check out the links, especially the one to AFL if you’re the kind of soccer supporter who uses the “soccer players are more skilful” argument, then you do NEED to watch a game of AFL. It will, at the very least, give you something to think about.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
In other news, American Football is Rugby’s stunted child. And the NFL is one giant soap box soap.
American Gayball is a pansy pants pussified version of Rugby. Players use maxipads for protection on those special days and helmets to keep their skulls from imploding on slightest contact given the negative pressure differential. That queer pointy ball’s about the sharpest wit on the field and its immediate vicinity - yes, I mean the pimp. Coach, pardon.
Every 5 seconds or so everybody takes a tea break, changes their nappies and has a morale boosting peptalk with the pimp. Coach, pardon.
Fans thereof also delude themselves to the tune that American football somehow holds a candle next to Rugby, let alone the king of sports - FootBall, the name of which they nicked, I’ll have you know.
Quick, quick, he’s got the fish blather, break his spine!!! That’s the only skill they’ve got, you know, them fishbladiators. Ramming helmets into spines.
Flame war starts here ->
September 18th, 2006 at 10:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3cd4eb646c057
Naaa. Most American football fans don’t even know what rugby is.
I would like to catch some rugby action.
The football pads allow players to hit each other much harder than rugby players could and survive. American football started with very little padding and many players got seriously injured and that can ruin a career. I’ve played both American football and the other football. Competition is a manly thing and men will always find different ways to compete.
This may inflame some here but nothing looks gayer than Australian rules football. Those referees really act gay.
September 19th, 2006 at 12:28 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Sure they do. But watching the big men fly you can forget what a bunch of shirtlifters the referees are.
-Big Al
September 19th, 2006 at 2:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 0152760a05585
They call it ‘the pigskin’
September 19th, 2006 at 4:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Judging by the life-expectancy (circa 56 years for those who play 5 or more years of pro-ball) of American football players, I’m not sure there’s strong evidence for it being an overly protected, pansified sport.
As Billy says, the padding lets people hit (and be hit) much harder. Looking at years of road accident statistics, it’s apparent that we humans adjust automatically to compensate for risk. Reduce the risk of being hit, and we’ll hit more and harder. Make safer cars, and roads, and people will drive faster, partially obviating the safety improvements.
I’m not a great fan of (American) football, and only marginally more a fan of rugby. But soccer is excellent… whenever I’m feeling insomnia, watching a few minutes of soccer is a great cure.
If I have to watch a sport as opposed to particpate, make it cricket, baseball or hockey.
-wolfe
September 19th, 2006 at 6:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Awesome, Big Al, clearly those people don’t think with their helmets.
September 19th, 2006 at 6:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Oh, and this one goes out to Wolfe.
September 19th, 2006 at 8:42 am - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
Great link Big Al.
AFL umps look very gay, yet despite such inflammatory garments and behaviour (waves arm like some kind of camp musical dancer, floppy wrist and all…) the players don’t always give as much shit to the umps as they appear to in soccer.
“The football pads allow players to hit each other much harder than rugby players could and survive.”
Yep spot on Billy. American football players are HUGE; I’m guessing around 110-120kg 1/4 back up to 150-170kg+ for linebacker (or other relative big position). Guys that size smashing into each other without padding will totally fuck themselves in short order. As men, they are sensible and use pads. No shame…brains.
Gridiron is a power/strength sport. Short burst of intense activity followed by a break then at it again. Doesn’t a gridiron team have offensive and defensive “teams” that swap dependent upon possession?
Rugby (league and union), AFL, Gaelic football, and soccer are primarily cardio intensive sports with a lesser or greater degree of strength/power thrown in depending on the code, greater for Rugby (L/U), much less for soccer, where less power more ball control (easier with a round ball) is required.
Fuck I love sport!
wolfe, I’m cricket mad mate. Cricket is a truly glorious game that produced one of the worlds all time sporting freaks in Sir Donald Bradman. Compared to his contemporaries, or even today’s greats, he is head and shoulders above them all statistically (cricket is very manly, chock full of statistics). There are facts everywhere. It scares many women.
September 19th, 2006 at 8:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Haha. That’s good, Sony. I can’t resist commenting.
Why the Yanks hate Football (oops..soccer)
Darn right. We still think we won the war of 1812. And Korea. And poor Vietnam, lets not go there.
Ditto. Got to have something for the wimminfolks to do other than fetch beer. Besides, as Dick says in today’s post, it’s one of their core competences… at which sadly so many still fail.
True dat.
Basketball would have been a funnier analogy. Still, true enough.
Darn tootin’. Unlike Hockey (Russia, Czechs) or Baseball (Cuba), those great all-American sports.
Quite true.
This is actually weak… Americans didn’t invent most of our sports. Put Rugby down to the UK/Celts, and American football probably down to the Canadians. Basketball was definitely invented by a Canadian. Ditto Hockey. That leaves uh… Baseball. NASCAR is all ours though! Well, ‘cept for the Europeans inventing motor-racing. But that’s a detail.
Also weak. Baseball is more strategically complex.
This one made me laugh out loud. Too true. You do know Sam Clemens’ comment on golf? “A good walk spoiled”.
Very true. Sadly, even if we didn’t, it wouldn’t change interest levels much.
I still maintain that watching soccer is one of the greatest soporifics going. But I’ll gladly add watching golf.
-wolfe
September 19th, 2006 at 8:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I agree 100%, JD.
-wolfe
September 19th, 2006 at 9:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Woaaa! Football’s boring, but cricket isn’t?!
Does not compute.
Besides, I’m of the opinion that any sport’s boring to some lesser or greater extent if you’re only just watching. Except for fishbladiating. Which is plain annoying anyway you cut it.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Interesting statistic. Where did you find that one wolfe?
-Dick
September 20th, 2006 at 8:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 84bc19e646e38
Put Rugby down to the UK/Celts, and American football probably down to the Canadians. Basketball was definitely invented by a Canadian. Ditto Hockey. That leaves uh… Baseball. NASCAR is all ours though! Well, ‘cept for the Europeans inventing motor-racing. But that’s a detail.
-wolfe
1869
Rutgers and Princeton played a college soccer football game, the first ever, November 6. The game used modified London Football Association rules. During the next seven years, rugby gained favor with the major eastern schools over soccer, and modern football began to develop from rugby
September 20th, 2006 at 8:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
“That leaves uh… Baseball.”
There are lots of differing opinions on that one wolfe. Many claim it’s a descendent of another English game, rounders. Some also claim that cricket and baseball share that common heritage, although a 2000 year old cricket bat was found on the banks of the Tames and cricket bats are made for cricket, not rounders.
The Poms may suck at sport these days, with the singular exception of their cricket team (English football teams all currently suck), but we owe the existence of almost every major sport we play across the globe today to an EnglishMAN.
As for motor racing wolfe we, have V8 supercars in Aus. Like many things we do, it’s kind of a bastard Euro-American hybrid. Two make, Holden (GM) or Ford, 1.5 tonne 4 door saloons with 700hp 5 litre fuel injected pushrod V8 (rev limit 7,500) 6 speed crash box, Custom 9″ independent diff, top speed around 300kph (’bout 290-300kph down Condrod straight at Bathurst). All circuit racing no ovals (you yanks can keep that). The Holden(GM) car, the commodore, is the 4 door version of the car Oz made for America, the last comaro. Check out video of last years race at Bathurst at http://bigpondguide.com/055C01936F27B218F98AEE9B7C96DD63_3_11_ToddKell y-Holden-Racing-Team-Bathurst01-Bathurst-T-Kelly-Skaife-Ambrose-Lownds e-Murphy-McConville-Bathurst-crash-Richards-Whincup-Besnard-Baird-Bat
September 21st, 2006 at 1:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Dick re: stats of players dying younger. There’s tons of anecdotal evidence. No one, to my knowledge, has done a really good study (though people have done ’sports-stats’ kinds of studies). This google search is strongly suggestive that something’s going on (most believe it to be weight related, but even that’s controversial).
The Living Heart Foundation, an NFL associated operation is trying to “separate truth from fiction related to player’s [sic] health.”. They note:
-wolfe
September 21st, 2006 at 1:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Billy (re 23 on who ‘invented’ football.
After 200-some years of informal play, the first set of written rules for rugby appears to date to 1845 at, obviously, Rugby School in England.
By the late 1860’s, the game was well-established in England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Australia, Canada and New Zealand. (In many cases, including in Quebec, British soldiers introduced the game to locals).
While informal games were played between Canadians and Americans in the 1867 to 1870 (including one at Kingston), it’s generally held that a McGill-Harvard series (with codified rules) in 1874 propelled the game solidly into the Ivy league.
On this, the balance of the evidence suggests to me that it came from Britain to the US primarily via the way of Canada, though no doubt secondarily via other sources. Research shows no enormous impact of the games played — including the one you note — prior to the McGill-Harvard series.
Given Harvard’s preeminence in the Ivy League, it seems likely that was decisive.
A stretch to say Canada invented it? Perhaps, though the rules started to change in Montreal. But my main point was that the US didn’t, and that was the main joke in my response to the list. We do love to think we’ve invented everything, and, in the field of sports, it’s sadly not much!
@JD I agree entirely with that; that said, I think baseball is sufficiently well-developed as a distinct sport, that I’m comfortable saying it was invented/developed/created (pick a verb) in the US, admittedly as a descendant from rounders.
After all, you guys have to leave us with something we invented!
Not a bad description of Australia… As for ovals, I think they’re great for stress-testing engines, not so great for uh… anything much else. Nascar driving does have genuine skill, and the track reproducibility is of some value, but, I confess as a spectator sport it leaves me looking for the exit. Much like about 99.9% of off-Broadway and 95% of Broadway. [live theater in New York for non-USAians].
-wolfe
September 21st, 2006 at 2:11 am - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
There’s no doubt in my mind wolfe that baseball as it is today is, very much American.
Hey didn’t you guys invent Basketball? I don’t here anyone else claiming it.
You would have to say it is the American sport with the most widespread international appeal.
BTW a common nickname for Aussie Rules (AFL) is cross-country basketball.
I think aerial ping pong is a more apt description.
September 21st, 2006 at 3:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Nope, Basketball was definitely invented by a Canadian, though he’d been living and working in the US for a year when he first codified the rules.
-wolfe
September 28th, 2006 at 9:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 54f297af1830d
On the other hand JD the round ball is far less predictable in flight. As a former goalkeeper I can assure you of the truth of this. While in flight the round ball presents a far greater surface area to the air.
Aussie rules has far more in common with basketball than with rugby. Both, unlike rugby, are sports for seriously good athletes. And don’t for a minute think that basketball is a soft sport. I’ve had seven foot, twenty stone, muscle bound behemoths coming straight at me at full speed. Not a pretty site and very dangerous particularly if you’ve got no choice but to try and stop them.
September 30th, 2006 at 5:31 am - IP Man-Hash: bdb2b567d985d
No one in the World cares about American “football”. And Americans don’t care about any of the things the rest of the World cares about. The real football is played wih the feet - hence, “foot”ball -, and only Americans don’t care about it. Two hundred million people watch the Super Bowl; twenty times more people watch the World Cup. Football wins. I rest my case.
September 30th, 2006 at 5:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
P Coderch, I see myself obliged to intervene. American footballiatoros play with only their feet as well. They’ve just got an extra pair, that’s all.
I contend that the reason they’ll never concede and admit allegiance to the Sport King is cause they suck unbelievably at it.
January 20th, 2008 at 5:57 am - IP Man-Hash: aa871a3792e9a
This thread started because Dick Masterson named Spear Britney ( I wish the fuck someone would) Honorary man of the month, because she in a rancid little drunken whore. And then it seems sonyad ( the pus exuding slut ) made some comment regarding football……..Typical woman shit…….exactly what this web community is here to demonstrate. Distract from the issue when you don’t have a brain to make a relevant, on topic comment to make. And sadly, the bulk of replies to her menstrual outbursts only served to encourage her, notwithstanding the fact that CUNTS are not allowed here. I cannot even comprehend why you reply to her with anything other than venom, given that she is trespassing here, having chosen in her CLIT POWER wisdom to ignore the fucking sign. Anyhow, she hijacked the thread, and you all permitted her to do so with NON MANLY INACTION, by not telling her to go and fuck herself with a chainsaw. ALL women are dumb, bombastic, attention seeking whores, who should really only open their mouths when I need to take a DUMP in it.
January 20th, 2008 at 6:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 86162533819d9
Just picking up on the discussion over sports. I say every man to his own.
If you really want to see a piss poor game, take ANY sport and allow women to play it.
How can any woman call herself the best at any sport when she could easily be beaten by a man. What the fuck happened to equality there?
January 21st, 2008 at 12:36 am - IP Man-Hash: aa871a3792e9a
Ok man, fair comment, but you are not the only one here who is guilty of the aforementioned crime.