Britney Spears: Not Just Jailbat Anymore (Apparently)
I’ve always wanted to name a phony whore MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Little did I know today would be my lucky day! I guess I should have read my horoscope, but I’m not a woman so I don’t waste my time reading fucking self-fulfilling bullshit and if I did I would give a fuck about it.
Gentlemen and all the women here who behave like little girls and not ladies and are fucking forbidden from reading this anyway, may I present MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month for July:
Britney Spears.
Britney “Hit me” Spears recently posed for the cover of Bazaar magazine. No big deal right? Women whore for attention every day. Who fucking cares?
Well, I care because this time the whore was pregnant as fuck! And boy does she show it!
Don’t believe me? I envy you. You, unlike me, won’t subject yourself to looking for the pictures of said mother-to-be in all their travesty. You’ll likely have a good laugh at an unappetizing by comically absurd future that may have been and go on your merry man-way. Besides, babies are like a James fucking Bond License to Whore. This is almost a non-event.
Then I got to thinking: where have I seen this kind of behavior before? Being a man, I immediately thought of an answer.
Men; that’s where I’ve seen it. Men do this type of man-shit all the time. We don’t whore for attention; we don’t pose for pregnant photos; and we don’t hold our babies like they’re heads of cabbage whilst we’re walking recklessly around New York or driving down to the fucking market for more scotch and hopefully a pack of condoms for fuck’s sake, but what we do do is not give any kind of a fuck how we look for pictures.
That’s what I see on this month’s cover of Bazaar; someone who clearly gives absolutely no fuck about looking like shit in front of a lot of people — and I mean a lot of people. I can’t think of anything more manly and mantastic.
Go look at wedding photos. Go back to the 70’s if you want. See all those moustmanstaches (moustaches) in your face? See those guys grinning like they’re doing a good thing? They are. Moustaches are fucking hideous, but so is everything done by Jackson Pollock. That doesn’t mean they’re also not precious works of fucking art that will blow your man-ass completely off and also the pants of all the hot ladies who get too close.
Congratulations Miss July. I think I can speak for everyone when I say I would absolutely love to hit you one more time.
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July 1st, 2006 at 5:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3e87127de1d4
Based on this reasoning, then Anna Nicole Smith is way more deserving of this award.
July 2nd, 2006 at 12:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 5282ede88ccec
We should really access the “Women’s Bible” and get it’s opinion first.
Found it here
July 2nd, 2006 at 11:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I think you’re being very unkind to Ms. Spears. You call her a “phony whore”. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s perfectly genuine.
As for the rest? Bang on. Congrats to “Ms” July.
-wolfe
July 2nd, 2006 at 5:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3e87127de1d4
As a man, I should have known better than to click that link from christianj. I have paid dearly for that mistake. I felt my IQ drop several notches just by glancing at the homepage.
How can a human being read that junk? That garbage negates the very essence of literacy.
July 3rd, 2006 at 1:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 17c1748ab4845
That link took maybe 20 seconds to load. Whilst it’s in Australia, that’s no excuse. MABTW loads in maybe a quarter second and it’s hosted (I’m assuming) in the US.
Maybe it’s a marketing tactic to make women want to read it even more, as they can’t get hold of what they want straight away?
I like the men’s msn page. Stuff about real news.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:27 am - IP Man-Hash: ddde179405fae
Notice now that Britney has grown up and become a Mum her appeal has dropped like a rock. Women really do age a little better than dogs.
No wonder they must have cosmetics.
The majority of womenare fugly without it.
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4b55b01ba14c
Personally, I like Lurleen-I mean Britney Spears…in a trailer park kind of way…nothing like skank lovin’! LOL! How many motorboats and Hummers has her hubby Cletus bought as of now, anyway?
September 18th, 2006 at 9:05 am - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
Diamatik, Bob christianj really should have warned you.
That kind of womanistic garbage has been swallowed by a large percentage of younger Aussie women.
I hate the crap because it always seems to be saying to women “you look/smell/think etc etc etc like shit (perhaps true…) so you need to buy this product to improve yourself”. Talk about giving women, especially teenage girls, self-esteem issues. These are the same mags that will then accuse men of oppressing women.
Fuck ladies, you don’t need any help from us.
I hate those columns in wimins mags that start with “My dumb male” or “the idoit man” or some such shit, spewing on about stupid men. Heads up ladies, men wouldn’t put that shit in a mens mag, mainly because as men we’re above that but also true is the reason THERE ISN’T ENOUGH WOOD IN THE AMAZON TOO PRINT A BOOK THAT BIG.
Why are the models in those mags (often the current catwalk models) in general UGLY AS SIN? They look like pipe cleaners with joints. No, really, what man wants a jumble of bones that looks like it would pass out if it had jog for 2 minutes?
Ladies if you want to find out what men think an attractive womanly body looks like
(And if you don’t well…….fuck off) pick up a MENS magazine and look at the lovely ladies presented within. It will be a revelation.
Women, in general, have curves. Men, in general, are attracted to curves (ass, tits, legs, fuck any cuurrvy bit of a woman).
And wimin, stop being a fucking victim! I’m sick of hearing how we, Mantastic Men fucked your lives. You have been given equal (and sometimes an unfair advantage, witness affirmative action. I call it sexual discrimination) in this world by men. Get over it, and get on with it and you’ll get the respect you deserve because you’ve earned it.
Bob, fear not, sporting/business/political (important) news in all its Mantastic glory dominates most newspapers and evening news. Its finals time for rugby league and Aussie Rules footy, the two main footy codes. These are Mantastic games with plenty of biff. Check it out at http://www.nrl.com/ and http://afl.com.au/
We’ve heard of soccer. Not many people are convinced. It’s just too well Feminin. I think the Aussieroos or some crap, our team came 10-16 at the world cup …..yaaawwwwnnnn.
Oh and Britany…hehehehehe.. white trash made money.. I speculate she will chew up and spit out the (dumb) men in her life. Nothing more than walking baby batter to her perhaps?
September 18th, 2006 at 11:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
At least our ball doesn’t look like Oprah sat on it.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4290183cb9ca
Too true sonyad, too true.
I played soccer for 7 years from age 5 to 12 because my mother (wimin!) thought that league and AFL were too rough!! Can you believe it? Luckily for me my Father, a former South Sydney rabbitoh (rugby league team – Russel Crowe owns ‘em), finally put his foot down when I was 12 and let me play a real MAN game.
sonyad in my opinion soccer disallows the use of hands, but uses a perfectly spherical ball that is very predictable in bounce, making it controllable. AFL and to a lesser extent Rugby league players, need awesome ball control because the thing is shaped liked Oprah sat on it. We call it a pill. (Do Americans call the gridiron ball a pill?)
Again I say check out the links, especially the one to AFL if you’re the kind of soccer supporter who uses the “soccer players are more skilful” argument, then you do NEED to watch a game of AFL. It will, at the very least, give you something to think about.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
In other news, American Football is Rugby’s stunted child. And the NFL is one giant soap box soap.
American Gayball is a pansy pants pussified version of Rugby. Players use maxipads for protection on those special days and helmets to keep their skulls from imploding on slightest contact given the negative pressure differential. That queer pointy ball’s about the sharpest wit on the field and its immediate vicinity - yes, I mean the pimp. Coach, pardon.
Every 5 seconds or so everybody takes a tea break, changes their nappies and has a morale boosting peptalk with the pimp. Coach, pardon.
Fans thereof also delude themselves to the tune that American football somehow holds a candle next to Rugby, let alone the king of sports - FootBall, the name of which they nicked, I’ll have you know.
Quick, quick, he’s got the fish blather, break his spine!!! That’s the only skill they’ve got, you know, them fishbladiators. Ramming helmets into spines.
Flame war starts here ->
September 18th, 2006 at 10:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3cd4eb646c057
Naaa. Most American football fans don’t even know what rugby is.
I would like to catch some rugby action.
The football pads allow players to hit each other much harder than rugby players could and survive. American football started with very little padding and many players got seriously injured and that can ruin a career. I’ve played both American football and the other football. Competition is a manly thing and men will always find different ways to compete.
This may inflame some here but nothing looks gayer than Australian rules football. Those referees really act gay.
September 19th, 2006 at 12:28 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Sure they do. But watching the big men fly you can forget what a bunch of shirtlifters the referees are.
-Big Al
September 19th, 2006 at 2:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 0152760a05585
They call it ‘the pigskin’