Broken Glass, Broken Ass
I have never yelled at a woman in anger. The only time I’ve yelled at a woman was when she was about to do something dangerous to herself or to something expensive. That’s almost the same thing anyway.
The world is not covered in safety rubber; nor is it a plastic ball pit for little kids to frolic and pee in. It’s a dangerous place full of sharks and wolves and funny bone-whackers, and women need to kept away from that stuff as urgently as possible so they don’t hurt themselves.
I yell at women all the fucking time.
I was at a restaurant not an hour ago when there came a great shattering of glass from the table next to me. A plate had been thrown to the floor by a careless woman who handled her menu about as well as she handled her SUV. Standard fare for a restaurant and a bus boy was already on his way with a broom when someone started shouting.
“Jesus God, don’t touch that! It’s broken glass!”
That someone was me saving that ridiculous woman’s hand and possibly her life.
Women are obsessively compelled to pick up glass they’ve just broken. I would say that’s the dumbest thing anyone could possibly do, but my name is Dick Masterson and I have a website called MenAreBetterThanWomen.com. I wrote the book on dumbness. Pleasure to meet you.
Afraid of Daddy
Women pick up broken glass with the focus and fervor of a child ravaging a pinata because they are all afraid of their daddy. Not you. I mean their actual daddy.
Women are sexual maniacs. Everyone’s heard of the Oedipus Complex, but no one’s heard of the reverse one because it’s ubiquitous as shit. Every woman has it. No one’s heard of a flying bird or a gross tumor for the same reason. They’re all fucking gross.
Women and their obsession with sex and their fathers is the only thing that could make them throw their hands at broken glass and think it’s a good thing. Frankly, I’m disgusted by it.
Not an hour ago, but five minutes later, I was in that very same restaurant in that very same seat and heard that very same sound. I was completely unsurprised to watch another woman hazardously pluck china fragments off the ground. I had already shouted and since that’s the best way to solve a problem, I didn’t bother trying anything else.
This woman actually struggled with the broom to get the big piece. Maybe women compulsively pick up broken glass because they think broken plates look like pie and not because they’re afraid their fathers won’t have sex with them.
Fuck it. I’m a man. I don’t have to make the choice between being a slut or a blind hillbilly. Men are better than women.
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You certainly are “beutiful”. And your personal hygiene is reputed to be impeccable, along with your bettern logic and spelling.
Where do these posters come from?
I get the feeling some mantastic fellow has been leaving mabtw.com cards around a school for mentally defective wayward girls somewhere.
-wolfe
Because it’s your fucking job, woman.
1-Men are better than women because you have more physical strength and bigger muscles.
The truith is that because men are stronger they treat women inferior.
Women are bettern then men because we are beutiful.
thats why its sooo hard to find a good looking man.
Some men are stupid and some women are stupid.
but generally men and women are as smart as each other.
Men are clumsy too I saw a boy who spilled hot tea in a restaurant.
The simpsons is sooooo stupid I don’t watch it, but I bet u do!
Hi I am a woman women and men are usually useless to each other.
I don’t know u personally, but my general opinion of men is that they are dirty and don’t shower!
Any comments?
I have three brothers and non of them clean the house, they are lazy, why is that?
I don’t enjoy cleaning but I don’t mind it I end up washing the dishes and doing all the hoovering because men are so lazy!!!!
If anything men should clean up after all u have muscles and u say ur better at things so why do u leave all the work for women.
This is a woman writing, by the way that psycologist just gave the opinion of some psycotic person, I don’t know what u all believe.
But theres no way any woman would ever want to have sex with her father .
If a father did that to his daughter it would be abuse.
Women want to have relations with a stranger man not with their father…
That would be the last thing anyone would want.
Fuck ups. Women are much better than men at constantly fucking up.
That was productive.
Men are better at sex, too. There are times when I can do a really great job of it in less than 3 seconds.
Great point about making your females order off the children’s menu, I’ve often resorted to throwing my woman’s feed into a muzzle and have her munch away for an easy towel-to-the-face clean-up. She breaks much less and it’s a far less embarassing experience than having other men see my woman so out-of-control as to be throwing glassware around, LET ALONE TRYING TO PICK IT UP!!! Instead, I’m often congratulated by my fellow man for my ingenuity and how well I control my female in public.
…..the only thing women are good for is sex, after that get rid of them, they do nothing but constantly fuck things up, and all you people that are fixing his grammar, spelling errors they were obviously tests to see if women come on this site and they obviously do.
Fuck ups. Women are much better than men at constantly fucking up.
Name 1 thing a woman has ever done better than a man, ever.
You misspelled the ‘not’ in “Not you.” This doesn’t count as I’m male.
hello! just wanna mention, the oedipus complex on girls is called the electra complex! it is sort of the same, girls want to have sex with there dads and think that there mother has already castrated them… abit odd… but meh, its psychology, what can you do? anyway, all the same, men are better then women!
Firstly, the typo on “better” just goes to show that either you’re a woman in disguise, or born with an extra chromosome. Second there is a simple way to keep a woman from making such a scene, assuming she was with a man, and not a cackling horde for which women are known for on “ladies night”. When taking a woman out to dinner, I’ve found the safest way to prevent said scene is to make her order off the children’s menu. Plastic plate, sealed plastic cup, and it is cheap. For the cost of a 6-pack and some smokes you can have a nice, disaster free meal.
Interesting article Dick, especially the mention of incest. And it’s called the Oedipus Complex (Not to be a grammar nazi but it’s one of my favourite complexes).
You think wrong.
that was a very interesting story, but to tell the truth i dont think that men are better then women, i think they are all equal. But men can do things better than women and women can do things beteer than men!