Keep The Camping To Purse Sales
Men are much better than women at camping. In fact, women are so bad at it, that there’s almost nothing as unpleasant as camping with a woman.
Except maybe one thing.
Camping with two women.
Women are full of shit. They shirk the equality curtain when it fits like a snake shedding its skin, and in the case of why women can’t do things like camping, construction working, or cigarette smoking worth a damn, they run the princess game faster than Logan. It’s a bunch of shit though. See, you can tell immediately because a woman is saying it.
The dirt and the infrequent showers have nothing to do with why women hate camping. Imagine this if you will.
You’ve accidentally locked yourself inside a shitty motel room in some hick town because you dropped a suitcase on the door knob and broke it off — accidentally. The only thing in the room for entertainment is a television set. Then it turns out that, oh great, some prick broke the television set.
Does that sound like fun? No fucking way. If you weren’t a man that kind of thing would reduce you to a babbling, neurotic mess within an hour. That’s why women behave like shrill disasters when they are taken camping; because nature is a woman’s Podunk, locked-in motel room and her mind is a broken television set.
How many women philosophers have there been? There has never been one, because not only do philosophers have to buy their own bullshit (and no woman ever has ever believed a word she said), but they also have to be alone with their thoughts for longer than the four seconds it takes a woman to say, ‘Not tonight I’m tired,’ and then pass out on the bigger half of the bed.
To all the young men out there — and I see this all the time, if you’re holding out for a woman who can go camping with you or some other klepto-crazy shit like play video games with you or what have you, I have one piece of advice. Why hold out for one? Why not just hold out for two…or a dozen?
Fuck, the sky’s the limit in fantasy land where a woman can go camping without embarrassing herself and everyone she’s with.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 4 3 2 [1] Show All
You’re practically soaking your drawers here, Jason. What’s your point?
Ladies,
Here is a challenge. I honestly will consider women to be equals if you can come up with five of the following:
–name ONE woman who invented the telescope.
–name ONE female philosopher.
–name ONE female responsible for any of the major world religious teachings (keeping in mind that Wiccan is NOT a major world religion).
–name ONE female scientist whose sole scientific theories have been incorporated into the modern scientific world.
–name ONE female who solely invented a cure for a disease.
–name ONE world-renowned painter from the Renaissance or Baroque eras.
–name ONE female US President (or, should I say, most powerful world leader).
–name ONE female inventor of something as amazingly important as the automobile, computer, books, dictionary, democracy, etc.
–name ONE female self-made billionaire who hasn’t been convicted of a felony.
–name ONE woman who died rescuing a man in the sept. 11 attacks.
rules:
–no conjecture–only facts.
–no spouses of famous men.
–no insults or accusations that I’m gay.
here’s some more arguments the univited women will probably resort to:
–Oh yeah, and we were busy having your babies. (pregnancy card Or, I guess they were busy having abortions because it didn’t fit in with their plans–they just tell their spouse/lover that they had a miscarriage, or blame it on him–he ran off from his responsibilities, etc. blah blah blah.)
–Well, who started the wars? Who put those people in Aushwitz? (this may seem like a good argument, even from a woman, but it is irrelevant. Just like they use one woman to represent all of the inventors/nobel prize winners in history (i.e, Madame Currie), they could use the ineffective spouses of evil men in history (i.e, Eva Braun–Hitler’s wife, ladies) Couldn’t she and Goring’s wife slashed their throats in their sleep–thereby strangling the Nazi machine? Clearly these women were oppressed and frightened.
–Then, we have Nicole’s debates. She will come back with–well, you are probably homosexual because you see through our BS—Or she’ll come back with the ever-popular NCSE12BS exam results she always mentions (by the way, good job on your grades, dear!). Nicole, sweety, you seem like you have a couple of brains in your head. Don’t delude yourself like most women do. You are not the movers and the shakers. You are the consumers. When you go out into the REAL FUCKING WORLD, and get away from the academic primary school bubble you currently live in, you will understand–maybe.
Guys, have I missed some?
I put this forth–what woman has ever done anything worth a shit? Sure, sure, our mothers are exempt–but what have women done for all of the major aspects of our society? Have they built the roads? How many women firefighters died on Sept. 11? How many women freed the prisoners at Auschwitz? How many women have written the Gospels? The Quran? The Dharmas? etc. etc. etc.
Now, here will be the arguments from the women:
–we were too busy taking care of the philosophers, the firefighters, the inventors, the workers (do you think these great men need your help?–face it, you’re servants).
–we were being oppressed by these men (if you are so easily oppressed, then how can you be superior?)
Women are as good at camping as they are at packing to go camping, or packing to go anywhere for that matter. Watching a woman prepare for anything is like watching 100 puppies try to build a picket fence. That’s to say that there is a lot of pissing, shitting themselves, barking, wimpering, begging for food, and in the end, no picket fence.