Multi-Task? Don’t Make Me Multi-Laugh — Or Multi-Shit.
I was sent this question by a reader:
In the beginning, when God made men and women, it was pretty simple. God made men strong and smart so they could hunt and he made women to carry children, cook and clean. Then as women realized how much greater men were they started to attempt manly jobs. Now, women get pissed at men because they have to do their day job then come home and do what God intended for them to. What do you think?
The reason women are so fucked in their heads these days is because they invented The Career Woman. The Career Woman is like that guy in Short Circuit. Not that guy; that robot. He can’t do anything right, it takes two other guys to babysit him all day, and before he learned his lesson he caused about ten million dollars in property damage. Go watch that film with an insurance adjuster. He’ll tell you.
That’s women for you.
God certainly did make men strong and smart. God made mankind in his own image. If I had to make the opposite of a man in my own image, then I wouldn’t know what the fuck to do. If I was God, I guess I would make her totally incompetent and rude. I would also make her hate facial hair. How fucking annoying.
Women will always have to cook and clean. Ask any married woman and she’ll tell you the same thing, “I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and doing laundry for my family.” Good. Then shut up and do it because men do mind that kind of brainless shit. We’ve minded since we invented having a job.
Over the course of a million years, men have evolved into problem solvers par excellence. When out hunting woolly mammoths, men had to invent shit on the fly like flanking and sign language and the Half Nelson. Women didn’t have to evolve any of that shit into their brains. And that’s exactly the stuff we men use every day at work. It’s the extra 30 cents on the dollar women are always complaining about. When women try to match men in the job market, they’re not jumping into the deep end, they’re diving into the Grand Canyon with water wings strapped to their ankles.
Yet women still have to do the cooking and the cleaning. What are men going to do it? What next? Use the television to prop the door open and draw reruns of Coach on the doorstop? Don’t be absurd. Everything has a purpose.
Women’s purpose is to tidy up. That’s what you evolve by sitting in a cave for a million years and waiting for food to come home. You evolve the fucking invaluable skill set of tidying and fucking obsessing about tidying. Women can escape their curse of tidying as much as men can escape their curse of taking care of business and making shitloads of money. We’re fucking televisions and doorstops in here. You can use a television to hold your door open, but why the fuck would you do that?
Well you would if you were a Career Woman. You’d hold doors open from 9-5 and then come home and do the dishes like you were supposed to in the first place. That’s not multi-tasking, it’s just stupid and exhausting.
Men are better than women because we don’t think the grass is greener on the other side. We’re men. We’ve got the greenest grass in the whole fucking universe. We’ve got grass as green as 100 dollar bills.
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I wonder which gender of humans (re)invented hemoglobic coagulation?
Won’t you enlighten us simple men folk on that one, please? Pray tell, what do the scientists say?
How about intestinal flora or higher cognitive functions(as if we didn’t know already)?
- IiO - Is It Love (Extended club Mix)
Sure! You also invented cognitive flatulence and Braille was also really invented by some woman now anonymous to history. He just oppressed her into submission and took all the credit.
Makes sense too. Seeing how women needed to operate through concerted effort with synergy to bring down literally mammoth game, chop it up on the spot and carry the goods home.
Next you’ll be telling me I’m descended from apes.
- IiO - Is It Love (Extended club Mix)
I’m assuming this is blatantly obvious to the men here, but I’ll point it out for you, “Awoman.” You said that there’s no consistency with “Why women hate sex” and “Every woman is a cheating whore.” You fail to realize that you don’t have to like sex to have sex. Every woman who’s ever faked an orgasm (see: every woman) could tell you that much, if they’d shut the fuck up long enough to say something relevant.
No, we aren’t stupid little schoolgirls. We read big people books with intimidating words and scary unpredictable plots/a wanton lack of censorship. You are cute when you try to think, though. Too bad the “faking pleasure” and “being a prude” sections of your brain take up that little grey matter that has any potential. Hey, if you wanted to be smart, you should have been born male - and we can’t fix that problem for you. It isn’t because we’re weak or stupid, no one except for God can fix that problem. However, in comparison to God/Buddha/Religious Figure, we look like stick people - no shit - but you look like a grain of sand.
At least a proponent of double standards, as all women are.
I’d like to take this moment to advocate Warren Farrell’s excellent book, “The Myth of Male Power”, quoted on this site on that very subject. Men, do yourselves a favor: Buy it, read it, and never again feel intimidated by phrases like “date rape”.
When you’re done with that, read his book, “Why Men Earn More Than Women”. My friends, it’ll open your eyes.
So you’re a proponent of date rape then.
All women are.
-Dick
Why are you here? Are you trying to change minds, demonstrate your mastery of cutting invective and unassailable intellect, or just prove that you can post here despite of the fact you’re not welcome? Whatever your purpose is, it’s unwelcome and pointless.
As to everything else you said, I don’t care. Fuck off.
Three comments, Bimbo:
1) Can’t you fucking follow directions? No fucking women allowed here. Fuck off.
2) What incredible naivete you have to think I get ALL my information from this ONE web site. I actually read books, not you know anything about that.
3) Just like a women, to follow with a personal attach instead of answering the question.
Fourth bonus comment:
4) Fuck off, just in case you missed it the first time.
Three comments, moron:
1) That’s the typical response when you guys’ “men are better” delusion is challenged: whining “no women allowed” But I’ve read about how a number of you where putting cards with this website in places where women frequent-like women’s dorm rooms, the romance section of the bookstore, etc. I consider that an invitation.
2) I never said that you got ALL your information from this website. But I’m sure you do read books. I’ve heard Dr. Seuss is very popular among people with your reading and comprehension skills; you should try him.
3) As no sources were given in the original column, I felt no need to bother cite any. Perhaps you might want to acquaint yourself with google.com?
Lastly, I might add, your entire first comment was an uninformed illogical attack. Had you countered with some facts-or at least an allegation at facts-of your own, I might have responded in kind.
Three comments, Bimbo:
1) Can’t you fucking follow directions? No fucking women allowed here. Fuck off.
2) What incredible naivete you have to think I get ALL my information from this ONE web site. I actually read books, not you know anything about that.
3) Just like a women, to follow with a personal attach instead of answering the question.
Fourth bonus comment:
4) Fuck off, just in case you missed it the first time.
Actually, the only scientists who think that are females and pussified men.
What is your source? Cosmopolitan or Elle?
That’s funny, coming from a man who gets information from a website where the two most popular columns are “Why women hate sex” and “Every woman is a cheating whore”
Because there’s so much consistency with those topics.
Actually, the only scientists who think that are females and pussified men.
What is your source? Cosmopolitan or Elle?
Actually, scientists think that women invented language and also discovered methods of agriculture whilst waiting for men to come home from hunting.
But I’m sure they were also busy mopping the floors of the cave and washing its windows. When they weren’t making Beef Wellington and tiramisu, that is.
“Women evolved to clean.” Uh-huh. Because hygiene was such an important issue in those days.
In a way, Manstrong, we already are.
-Dick
Excellent post dick.
Long time reader first time poster. LTRFTP
If women are better multi-taskers then why do men make up the majority, ie 99% , of commercial airline pilots the major multitasking job in the world?
It is not a matter of jobs for the boys, as they are not passing the essential tests required to become airline piolts?
PS Men are always better than women. If men could give birth then we’d be better at it too.
So men are the cooks of the household now? Where does that leave women at? Cooks for cookies?
Dick
I especially like the idea of women sitting in a cave for 1mn years, waiting for food. Evolution has taken its toll.
It explains why they insist on being taken out for dinner and why they get especially hot when they meet a guy that can cook (aka able to take care of himself).
Absolutely awesome! You’re so right and that would be an answer I spuspect when writing you a question about woman ;)