In 2006, 86 billion dollars was blown on weddings. This number is misleading, however, as it does not include all the bullshit newly married women buy in an effort to wash the stain of ex-girlfriend off of their new husband’s old furniture.
Yes. Women think like that.
The 86 billion dollar Wedding Waste also does not account for all the vacation plans and work days your average wedding fucks with — especially mine. The real dollar figure is probably in the trillions. Remember when Jennifer Aniston shut down the PCH for her wedding? How much did that bitch cost?
Weddings are obviously a business for dress makers, photographers, videographers, caterers, shitty DJ’s, bakers, florists, musicians, priests, Elvis priests, limo drivers, divorce attorneys, and the entire “chick flick” industry, but more importantly, weddings are a business for you: the groom. Whether you like it or not!
Congratulations, gay people of California. Welcome to hell. [Read more]