Feminism is the idea that women should be treated like children.

Didn’t accomplish anything this time around, sweetheart? That’s okay. Give it another shot after we bend the fuck out of the rules.

Scratch that. Feminism is the idea that women should be treated like spoiled children — who get do-overs and freebies until they’re chucking batteries at homeless people out the sunroof of their father’s BMW.

Well-raised kids get stuck with Dick Soup if that’s what they ordered. Do-overs are not a part of man-parenting. Do-overs are for ladies. [Read more]

While on the Dr. Phil program, a woman accused me of being chivalrous. Now I’m never one to argue with a woman. For example, if a woman wants to get smacked around by her boyfriend every time she runs her mouth, then who am I to say it’s wrong? This isn’t some fascist dystopia. Women have the choice to get their asses kicked if that’s what they want. They also have the choice to not ask for a raise because they’re cowards and then blame the wage gap on sexism.

In a free world, women have the choice to be retarded.

For the record, I have never hit a woman unless it was hilarious. [Read more]

If I gave $20,000 to an orphanage because I wanted orphans to be happy, a bunch of orphans would be happy and everyone would agree that I’m a fucking great guy.

If I gave $20,000 to an orphanage because I burned one to the ground when I was twelve and I feel guilty as shit about it, a bunch of orphans would be happy and everyone would agree that I’m a fucking great guy.

Welcome to the real world.

Motives don’t mean shit to orphans. Motives don’t mean shit to anyone. In fact, motives only mean something to those of us who have the luxury of falling vagina-first into money and never having to use our brains for anything but a hobby.

Those of us are called women, and those of us need to fuck off my website. [Read more]

MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached one million hits this week, which is more hits than any stupid woman’s website has ever gotten. If you want to know what a million of anything good looks like: a million sales, a million dollars, a million fans, ask a man. If it’s not porno downloads or a divorce settlement, women have no business with a million of anything.

I have never been troubled by this silly “equality” thing and I’ll tell you why. Men own wealth. No matter how many Political Science degrees universities sell or how often the Guardian runs a diatribe on women and their eventual world take over, one thing will never change: women will never own wealth.

Women are wealth. They’re tacky, they’re overpriced, and their warranty sucks, but they’re still depreciating assets that can be purchased for a an amount directly proportional to their age and sex appeal.

Read an economics text book. Then, dump your girlfriend. [Read more]

Women have been cheating on men since the beginning of time. The first woman, Eve, cheated on her man with a snake. That snake’s name was “The Devil”.

A while ago, I was talking to a woman about my “radical” ideas. Men are responsible for every single advancement in human history; the wage gap proves men are better than women because if we were all equal, hiring a woman would be a cheaper alternative to a man and thus an obvious business decision; and it is only through our divine and manly grace that women are allowed to vote, own property, or wear bras. Her response was that I was wrong because the Devil is a man.

I’ll tell you who the real “Devil” is: a cheating marine’s wife.

The cheating wife of a soldier should be dragged into the street and shot. [Read more]

Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.

For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.

The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out. [Read more]

When I think of a man I think of several things: successful, smells great, nuclear explosions of brilliance and poignancy. When I think of a woman, I usually think of something retarded, like a mule or a donkey with no real friends who can’t drive and has a lifespan that stretches well beyond her years of usefulness.

Maybe that’s why women are always so pissed off. Donkeys are stubborn because they have hooves and can’t do anything. Women are opinionated loud-mouths for the same reason. They just don’t have the hooves. [Read more]

It’s getting closer and closer to tax time. I can feel the day coming the way I feel the coming of a bumbling fuck up some woman is about to make at my expense. Like when you’re introducing a hot new lady friend to your man mates and she’s just dying to say something fucking stupid about her dog or her roommate who no one gives a shit about.

If your life is so full of problems, hypothetical house-fat roommate, why not try something different? Maybe cut the Fun Size Cool Ranch Doritos down to three packs a day.

This is the feel of the Bogeyman coming for my money. I don’t know what’s more precious to me, my money or my Man Points. [Read more]