Childbirth is Not a Big Deal
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again because it was funny and completely true. Women having babies is like an octopus shooting ink at a shark come dinner time — except this octopus has six tentacles in the shark’s wallet and also a layer of whore paint all over its face.
And one of its other tentacles has a foot for sticking down it’s fucking throat in front of the shark’s boss and parents.
Please allow me to quote from 3 billion of the worst writers in the world today:
“You men think you’re so tough, you gay faggots? Try pushing something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon which is also called your vagina!”
-Every woman ever
That is an inaccurate depiction of childbirth.
First of all, childbirth, whether it’s completely disgusting or not, is a beautiful thing. In the case of baby boys being born, you could be witnessing the first breaths of the next Picasso or Pavarotti or the guy who played Herman Munster. In the case of baby women, you’re witnessing something special too probably. The point is, as a man I would never sink so low as to equate the act of childbirth to some perverse squishing of fruits and vegetables through other fruits and vegetables. Is this human life we’re talking about or a fruit salad Physical Challenge? What the fuck? Unlike women, men float effortlessly on the sea of indiscretion by inflatable rafts called our class — Man Class.
Secondly, a baby is not the size of a watermelon. It’s more like like size of a grapefruit or maybe a slightly larger than average lemon. Have I ever squeezed something the size of a slightly larger than average lemon through something the size of a regular sized lemon? Believe me I have. But go bigger you say? You must be a man then! And I say why the fuck not!
It’s called putting on my undershirt, which women don’t know about because they’re whores and wear things like spaghetti strap tank tops and bras and other silly things designed to maximize their flesh showcase. I don’t hear my undershirt complaining about my head being the size of a fucking watermelon, which it isn’t, but it is bigger than my shirt’s neck hole.
The fact of the matter is today’s modern mother is so doped up on morphine and chocolate that she doesn’t even know who the father is when it comes time to popping the poor bastard out. Men in the Napoleonic Age got their legs and shit cut off with no antestetic and gangrenous saws. Now that’s some pain! Where’s your fucking cute, stupid fruit analogy now? Have you ever had a zucchini the size of your leg cut in half by a carrot which was a rusty saw? Fuck off.
My last piece of evidence is what I call The Clencher.
The only women who use this argument are teenage women or childless, unmarried harpies. The world has truly known no more useless swine. They’ve never done anything for anyone ever. Congratulate your nearest mother. She won the race by pulling her head out of the sand.
It’s a good thing all babies have a 50/50 shot of being men — or else we’d all be fucked.
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March 12th, 2007 at 10:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
Would match the bizarreness of the feminazi’s here…
March 12th, 2007 at 10:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Guilded, diamatik.
March 13th, 2007 at 4:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 1058eaab83bd8
It’s not women that are so fucked up- it’s americans. Fuck all you yankee red-neck sexist cunts.
March 13th, 2007 at 4:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
BJ, like, what time is it where you live? It’s a quarter passed 1 pm here. I presume it must be somewhere between 4:15 and 7:15 where you live. This on the assumption you live somewhere in the continental mainland USA.
You have no life, do you?
March 13th, 2007 at 4:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Oops. You’re not a yank, are you? Excuse me for overlooking your latest dribble. Carry on.
March 13th, 2007 at 4:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 983447a538d58
Nope, not a yank, but she is a rather big disgrace to Australia. I’m just glad that they can’t deport their own stupid, so I won’t have to worry about bumping into her in my neck of the woods.
May 7th, 2007 at 9:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 926a1904cecf2
There are no female donkeys. Donkeys are only males you fuckin moron.
June 25th, 2007 at 1:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 540bff8f497bc
What you can’t read… he said it comes out the hole a size of a lemon you stupid cunt. (As in your Vagina dumbshit)
June 25th, 2007 at 2:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0da82aefb99ab
@Elitist_Prick:
While I can’t say whether or not Nina is a moron, there are indeed female donkeys. They are called “jennys.” Donkey is simply another word for ass, and those come in both genders.
June 25th, 2007 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: a775b08853511
LMAO
June 25th, 2007 at 6:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Nina (did you know that if you shift your right hand one space to the left as you type Nina you get Buba?) indeed appears to be a moron.
I salute DrZ. I think she is an idiot for posting here, but I salute her. Well played ma’am.
In the inane babble that permeates so much of the ‘net, Z has been concisely funny here. On a Monday (no less) I do not hesitate to award her the “wolfe’s funniest remark of the week” award. Congratulations.
Nina had a vague attempt, but her poor command of the English language, coupled with shoddy spelling and grammar reduced her to being a moron.
And seriously Z. While I will always speak up when I think you are genuinely funny or brilliant here, I will say little if stupid men roll all over you (and you’re neither funny or brilliant IMO). It’s terms of service. Start your own blog woman! Be like Luka.
-wolfe
June 26th, 2007 at 7:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 37505c1825041
Haven’t women ever heard of a kidney stone. some men have to piss out a kidney stone. consider this ladies.
a man’s piss hole is about the size of a needle point
a kidney stone is the size of a rock in a pile of gravel
DO YOU NOT THINK THAT SHIT HURTS?
July 13th, 2007 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7ab51323343fa
The thing with all of this is that women use this whole act of birth as an excuse for doing nothing. Everytime someone says we are better than them they come out with the “we carry a baby for nine months and we give birth” card, always, everytime because honestly, they don’t come up with any other reason because they don’t know how to fucking do anything else! well, guess what, this is how nature made things and giving birth is nothing compared with us men hunting and defending the family, they carry a baby for nine months, that’s not difficult and the most difficult part is at the end when she gives birth wich only last like two hours!, and even then we have to be there to give them “support”, try to compare that with the fact of us men breaking our asses off every single day in order to garantee the survival of the family and in those moments women are there for “support”?, no!, they are doing nothing but complaining about how we don’t spend too much time at home and about how they need “attention” and demmanding a bunch of other crap, i mean are you an adult or what?, you’re not a kid, why would you need attention?. We men are giving and giving and what are women doing? selfishly asking and asking and if the man doesn’t fullfill her “needs” she find another one who does it (read: Cheat). Childbirth is important and as a matter of fact i believe is something beatiful but that doesn’t mean they’re better than us, or (LOL) stronger, it’s just their fucking role it’s what they were designed for, only for that, it’s the only good thing they do and they should just do it instead of trying to make a big deal out of it, but of course, since is the ONLY good thing they do they try to glorify it in order to believe they’re special, heck, and even this only good thing they do they can’t do it alone! fuck it, as i said, is nothing compared to what our job is and the many good things we do, just because women give birth it doesn’t mean they stop being what they are.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7ab51323343fa
Look, this whole “feminist strong and independent woman” thing is nothing but an excuse to behave like a whore, this whole feminism thing is nothing but giving more freedom to women to do their shits as well as justify them. There was a reason of why women didn’t have as many freedom as men in the past and they were subyugated to men and it’s because they’re like animals, they act based on what they feel and on what their impulses are, they don’t think at all, they are emotional driven and that’s why they all are whores, if they feel it, they do it, that’s why there is no difference between them and animals (well, actually animals don’t talk, so i guess in that perspective animals beat women). So, now with more freedom in society they are allowed (unleashed) to behave just how they know and they cover and justify themselves behind the screen of feminism articulating a bunch of stupid racionalizations such as “men don’t want women to rise” or “men are afraid of independent, strong women”, well guess what, real men don’t give a fuck about those things, because we all know that by the end of the night those same feminists will end up in the bed of some jerk (like me) who knows how to treat women (wich is how they want and deserve to be treated, no matter how much they deny it). I bet that you princess (you’re only 16) will always choose a bad boy or a jerk over a guy that will treat you well and you know this is true, so stop talking shit just because you don’t know what to do with your free time. Go find yourself a hobby or buy a dildo or something.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: d24dd61108133
I have given birth, and I have had a bad kidney infection. I’ll take childbirth every time. It hurts far less.
September 24th, 2007 at 10:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4145f492dd429
and this is coming from what exprience of child birth.. oh none because you never have or never will have a child, you really shouldnt write if you cant relate
September 25th, 2007 at 1:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 3f9d7dcd066f3
Nothing good ever comes from listening to a woman. Nothing good ever comes of listening to a woman who thinks 4 episodes of Dr. Phil makes her a therapist either. How about you listen for once Nina? Stop acting like you actually know the people here, or what brought them here. You don’t. Shall we stop the pretending now? Why is it that when a woman says things like “I love men”, the next thing out of her mouth is the complete opposite? Hypocritical creatures to say the least.
Your grammar speaks volumes of the female gender madame, indeed it does. Nicely put.
Wouldn’t that be a Ram? Study up a little bit Nina.
Ahh threats on the internet, how mature. Women certainly do mature faster than Men do, if one were to take this as an example. Allow me to be the first to tell you that I am a FULL believer in equality amongst the sexes. More than one woman has found that out the hard way. All the “smart hot manly men” as you put it probably don’t have the time to waste talking to you as you are wasting your time talking here.
How exactly are you “kicking our ass”? On that computer (box that makes the noise, its right next to the box with the glass screen) you’re typing on? I wonder who made that? How about that house you’re living in, oh sorry, THE box with the roof on it. I wonder what the majority of construction workers are? Or the power it takes to make these words appear on that monitor(box with the glass screen)? Who discovered that? How about those almighty tax dollars that women suck up in federal grants, social funding, welfare, gender-specific programs (equality right) and “alimony” payments ? I wonder WHO pays for a majority of that? You aren’t independant from anything. You live in a dream world, which is slowly collapsing around you, as Men are become tired of hearing the same ignorant bullshit from women that is coming out of your mouth. Seriously, girl power is a joke that stopped being funny a long time ago. It’s an old hat, and you will see it for what it is soon enough.
BTW, most of you “cow” down to us either way, except today all you need is “money” and all that shit you’re talking goes right out the window.
-Strength and Honor-
September 25th, 2007 at 4:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 2385f3847dc8b
“Nina” is a “kristina” clone. I am genuinely amazed by the arrogant ignorance. Additionally, the absolute absence of logic and reason in these human females is an extraordinary thing to repeatedly witness.
That phenomenon is intriguing. Whilst opposition to the successful commissioning of an accredited study would likely be fierce, I suspect the acquired dataset would be an extremely valuable addition to the sum of human knowledge.
My hypothesis is that female ILLogic and irrationality are EVOLUTIONARY traits which prevail via favorable genetic selection. This might be similar to the “crying” instinct babies evolved to trigger protective responses and ensure their survival whilst essentially helpless.
It would certainly go a long way towards explaining the prevalence of whining as a commonly observed characteristic in human females. Prior to modern times, their whining would have had similar evolutionary survival benefits to that of babies “whining” - Stronger Men leaped in to protect the physically weak female.
See http://www.millerandlevine.com/km/evol/ for more detailed information about human evolution (by Professor Kenneth Miller).
With the advent of modernism, this female trait seems to be invoking a rather different evolutionary response in modern males…that of wanting to strangle the living bejesus out of the annoying bitches.
As an evolutionary survival mechanism, whining has had its day.
October 15th, 2007 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7cff7535f53d1
Dick
dicky darling your site wouldn’t be half so interesting if women weren’t on it , all the men on this site need to do is ignore our postings, but you don’t, you respond why?
November 7th, 2007 at 2:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3ba3d3038a9d6
You must be imagining raping your mother or your daughter-hahaha