Cleanliness is Onto Manliness
When you think of a woman, you think of a shrill harpy whirring around the house with a duster and a vacuum cleaner under the watchful eye of some imaginary deity of clutter. One errant bill or remote control earns her an eternity of stacking in the Trash Yard of Damnation. That’s how I see it anyway. A tornado of nerves frantically stacking the debris of everyday life into neat little piles and shoving them into drawers like a five year old with learning disability on a reverse scavenger hunt.
That’s what women call cleaning. Women can’t clean for shit.
Men know that the cleaning of things (cars, houses, clothing) is not a one step process. Doing anything in one step is a sure way to fuck it up — especially quitting drinking. It’s called being thorough, and it means that the cleaning of anything can sometimes take several days.
Not that women don’t understand that process. Women can take several days to do things too, like get over a headache or break the rules of a new diet by downing two pieces of German chocolate cake.
That’s right, ladies. In your face. 3000 calories in your face to be precise.
It’s an old stereotype, but just like every stereotype with women, it’s completely true. Women don’t clean they just hide shit. Here’s the proof.
The remote.
The remote can never be cleaned up. It can’t be put away, it can’t be clutter inherently because it is in a constant state of use. When was the last time that a day went by and someone didn’t have an urgent need for a remote control? Putting the remote in some kind of little basket or lock box under the coffee table is the equivalent of putting a piano in front of the bathroom door. Sure, it may look best there, but there’s a fucking piano in front of the bathroom. I sure hope one of those keys is flush!
The bills.
Since women don’t pay any bills they don’t know how the fuck they work. For example, if a bill gets put into some random drawer near the kitchen sink and doesn’t get paid because bill paying time is not supposed to include treasure maps and interrogations. That’s something that women don’t understand. It’s like a child grappling with probate.
Also, when a check is written and put in an envelope, affixed with a stamp of postage, and set on the edge of the counter only to disappear — no that isn’t the bill fairy whisking your monies away to the gas company, it’s a woman “cleaning” shit up and throwing a handful of tacks on the road that is your life.
Soap.
That body wash shit doesn’t work. I know because one time I used it to wash my dog as an experiment. Guess what it smelled like when I was done. A fucking dog.
There’s a whole psychology behind this cleaning business, but it’s as simple as women neurotically clean their homes because they’re lives are exactly the opposite. That’s it. You can sum up all of womankind like a box full of fortune cookies.
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November 19th, 2005 at 4:57 am - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
[quote]A tornado of nerves frantically stacking the debris of everyday life into neat little piles and shoving them into drawers like a five year old with learning disability on a reverse scavenger hunt.[/quote]In the hierarchy of great mabtw posts, this ranks up there.
We’ve all observed this; most of us have lived it. Actually needing tools to pry open a drawer that has become so jammed with the detritus of life via a woman’s “cleaning”. She looks at you with that wonderful combination of guilt, humility, and anger that women master as you patiently disassemble that end table that she overstuffed.
Yes, they desperately seek some level of order in their lives, Dick, but more than that, clearly, women’s concern over initial appearance trumps all. It’s rather sad that this is so, and one of the great problems of their gender.
-wolfe.
November 19th, 2005 at 6:08 am - IP Man-Hash: c9cb0bd1799fa
They also have to put everything into little slots or holes or containers. Everything has to be in it’s place regardless, whether or not it’s warranted is irrelevant.
I banned my former wife from my private areas, that is my office, kitchen and shed.
If she really had to move anything in the kitchen, it had to be returned.
Anyone that has had to suffer a women cleaning up anywhere knows that the majority of items will never be found again.
It’s more concerned with the act of cleaning then it is in preserving a proper place to put things.
Take the third draw down in the kitchen, full of junk. That’s where she puts it all. Everything that does not go on a doily gets thrown in there.
It’s a habitual creature, every routine must happen every week at the same time otherwise she hyperventilates.
And look…….that window has a smear on it.
There is dirt on the mantlepiece, it would not be right to leave it there just in case the dust police come around for an inspection.
It’s got it bad…
November 19th, 2005 at 6:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 637bafa67bded
It’s often thought that a woman who obsessively cleans is really trying to avoid straightening out her own thoughts/ideas on possibly uncomfortable subjects. Seems like the urge to straighten something out cannot be avoided, and luckily for you men, it goes into dealing with the physical dirt.
If you think about it, it would become a robotic, mindless, habitual exercise. Better than the bottle, no?
November 19th, 2005 at 6:45 am - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Good Lord, Female.
Do you really have such a pathetic view of women?
That’s all they’re capable of being; cleaning junkies or alcoholics or both?
You’re missing the entire thrust (no, that’s not a masculinist word implying sex) of this post and discussion.
You really don’t grasp it? You really view women like that?
Good Lord.
Christian: “dust police”. Heh. Nailed it.
-wolfe.
November 19th, 2005 at 6:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 637bafa67bded
Not women Wolfe, just Christian’s former wife.
November 19th, 2005 at 11:21 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
You are a horrible person, Female. You are a cancer on the people around you.
-Dick
November 19th, 2005 at 1:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 637bafa67bded
I love you too Dick
November 19th, 2005 at 4:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
Women revel in their immaturity. It’s one of the many things they call empowerment. Female has just been dull enough to demonstrate it for us.
-Dick
November 19th, 2005 at 4:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 637bafa67bded
Yes I like to have a laugh, crack a smile and not take myself too seriously 24/7. You should try it.
November 20th, 2005 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1cc2bd319db66
I only clean my apartment when walking becomes difficult, or if I am bringing some friends or a girl over. Women are in point of view generally much more hygienic, and when it comes to cleaning the house, they are also better. None of my friends enjoys or care about cleaning, and every time they clean up, they only do it of practical reasons and essential hygienic reasons hehe.
November 21st, 2005 at 3:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 19b69bda2b924
l know of a woman who compulsively turns every label in the fridge and pantry so that it faces fowrard. If anything isnt facing fwd she gets irrate. Upset even. Gee wiz… is that a bottle of oil or is it a packet of pasta? Wahahaha… l cant tell, one of the labels is facing the wrong way.
Also think its hillarious how women quibble over house work and use it as a spring board for projecting all of their incessant, well, er, uh… projections. You know fellas, their constant use of who does wot and how much as a way of constantly brow beating you with their obsessive relationship issue about gender based power balances. Wah, fucking wah, it makes no difference to me if you clean, wax, polish and shine behind every friggin foot step. l like much more sex than you usually want to share the work of, so lets see, that makes us even. Anyway, enuff with the the fuckin mind games and word plays of my feminine side.
Time for a blunt awfully true pig dog bastard meesogeenust deferral lo logic… blindingly powerful logic in all its ephemeral simplicity.
Your cleaning ‘relationship issue’ is about YOUR (large yet fragile) EGO.
That’s it. Now go away. Think about it. And you should really consider paying me for this, hmmmm wots a good feminine side word? … amazing apparition.
Anyway, l’ll interpret it for you. Call it benevolent meesogeenee if you like or step back 100 yrs and call it chivallree.
You are attempting to exercise POWER over your partner by unilaterally setting YOUR standards. Ergo, making the RULES.
What you finally realise is that you cant make your old dog learn new tricks. Nor can you teach a cat fetch. You might get some play outta playing you man if you have a finely honed bag of (often) dirty tricks. But it all wears a bit thin eventually and the charade of your campaign becomes obvious to even an old dawg. At which point you settle for pissing into the wind. Then yelling into the void.
Then you get irredeemably frustrated and in your typically accountable way, blame him for not submitting. Funny, that. Would’ve thought that a woman of all people would be intuitively aware of how much of a drag it is to submit.
If you are at this point… you need to take a few hundred steps back and start again.
November 21st, 2005 at 10:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
Most women don’t really clean for men, they clean for other women.
Scientific studies have shown that most men observe clutter, but will not notice dust on the mantle, or grime on the tile floor, or crumbs on the counters. Women will notice all of that. Most of the women I have observed that are obsessive about cleaning are afraid of being looked down on if their house is a mess - and it isn’t going to be men that notice the mess or look down on the woman for having a messy house. So, therefore, they’re cleaning for other women.
November 21st, 2005 at 7:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1cc2bd319db66
hi Arielle i have a few comments for you
Quote: Most women don’t really clean for men, they clean for other women
Arielle, I am sorry to say this, but you don’t make any sense. Most women who live with men, can’t avoid cleaning up for them, as they live with them and love them. It’s absurd to say that most women clean for other women; I think you are seeing too much Oprah, that crap is also on danish tv hehe
Quote: Scientific studies have shown that most men observe clutter, but will not notice dust on the mantle, or grime on the tile floor, or crumbs on the counters. Women will notice all of that.
I’d like to see those scientific studies made by the bullshit squad, because all first of all men generally have better eye sight than women, moreover if we focus on i.e. dust in a less scientific way, then you can’t say that men won’t see dust, because it really depends on the light: because the dust particles are much larger than the wavelength of the visible light. When i.e. the sun light hits these large particles, it gets reflected in different directions. This means, that the different colours of light are all reflected by the particle in the same way and thus the reflected light appears white because it still contains all of the same colours, and so you can’t say, that men can’t see dust or anything else and women can. be sensible. i am not a scientist,(i study latin/philosohy) but i had to study about this in order to critizise your socalled scientific study, which in my point of view didn´t make sense.
November 21st, 2005 at 9:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Half-Soul, I believe you may be suffering from a language barrier here. While I am not endorsing what Arielle says, it has a plausible ring.
She did not say that men could not see these things, she said they did not notice them. There is a distinction; it is not one of physics and light, but rather psychology.
Men’s brains evolved to deal with a rapidly changing world in situations where decisions had to be made quickly and fairly well. Hunting requires this. In order to operate efficiently, one must separate the wheat from the chaff — distinguish what truly matters from what is merely trivia.
A flickering light is serious; it could be an intermittent short that could burn the house down. A man will check the circuitbreakers, upgrade the fusebox if need be, test the wiring, etc. A woman will probably ignore this and assume “it’s the wiring or something strange”, viewing it as out of her control.
Some dust on the mantle? Who cares. As long as no one is dying of asthma, this is genuinely trivial. One could have it cleaned up before a party perhaps, but otherwise it is trivia that is literally not worth noticing.
The man sees, but his efficient brain quickly files it in the “not worth noticing” department.
I hope this clarifies what I believe she meant.
Best,
-wolfe.
November 21st, 2005 at 9:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
Wolfe,
Thank you for the clarification. That was indeed the gist of the study, as I recall it. They also pointed out that men were usually much more observant of detail outside of their own homes than women were.
November 21st, 2005 at 11:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: c145ad7dbc435
Columbus didnt bang into the New World after not reading a map and not stopping to ask for directions by making sure the top of the fridge and underside of the tv for free of dust. Oh, of course there were no TVs or fridges back then. Thankfully men were not distracted with dusting and polishing else we would still be throwing the milk out after two days.
November 22nd, 2005 at 1:11 am - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
For all you men sick of your partner’s clean freak habits and the associated nagging/huffing/puffing/bitchin’/fighting/yelling et cetera, there is one simple solution. Pay for a cleaner.
Yeah, yeah, I know, the wife will say the cleaner is no good after 3 weeks, which is generally the amount of time it takes for said cleaner to decide she’d rather bludge than clean your house. Or maybe the wife doesn’t like someone going through your things etc etc. Hmmm, I’m out of suggestions. Luckily my eyesights pretty bad and I can’t see dust either.
November 22nd, 2005 at 1:28 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
You’re not out of suggestions. You never had anything worth a damn to say in the first place. What could you possibly hold a degree in.
-Dick
November 22nd, 2005 at 1:42 am - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
Care, do you?
November 22nd, 2005 at 12:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1cc2bd319db66
hello wolfe, nice to meet you
quote: She did not say that men could not see these things, she said they did not notice them.
thx for helping me. Yes i think i misunderstood the word “notice”, and even though i am consider myself quite good at english, i do make mistakes, as i am a foreigner and thus i don´t have the qualifications that you have.
quote: it is not one of physics and light, but rather psychology.
you may be right, i don´t know much about this pheneomena, but i am of the nature to find out those things i don´t know much about. perhaps you have a good link or could recomend a good book on men´s psycology? thanks again…oh i almost forgot Arielle :D sorry to make you “eat” some rather complicated phycics heh
November 22nd, 2005 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
No need to apologize, Half-soul. Glad Wolfe was able to clarify things for you.
November 22nd, 2005 at 7:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d19dfc739b51
Female,
Why should l pay for something that l dont really want anyway? l do just fine with the standard of cleaning that meets my needs, which is only slightly above average, say at 55%. A woman comes into my life starts cleaning at say 99.99999 anal retentive percent and all of a sudden l am ‘deriving a benefit’ that l must equalise or pay for. Sheesh, female, you think us guys cant see thru your self absorbed campaigns. l am gonna play your silly head game just to illustrate the absudity of your logic… my girl dont do her fair share of the sex work in our relationship. Therefore she should stop whinning about how l want it 3 diffrerent ways, 3 times a day, and pay for escorts.
Or a less absurd example… one of those feral wind screen washers starts cleaning my windscreen at the traffic lights. l say nothing, afterall lm just on my merry way. Then he demands payment for a service he assumed and in fact imposed upon me.
Again, you conveniently glossed over the crux of the matter which is that this whole cleaning is a power trip for women in relationships. Its about your ego. You are endevouring to set the standard, ergo make the rules. Sweet heart, let go of your massive yet fragile ego and relax into life. Its just nowhere as complicated as many women try to make it.
l just thought of another example Female. You are getting all this free analysis and therapy on this site. Yes, l know you dont need it, cant see it, dont care but l am going to UNILATERALLY decide that eventhough you deny it you derive benefit. You dont reciprocate except with duplicitous and tokenistic attempts at ’sweeping the floor’ therefore YOU OWE ME. Why? Because that is what my self absorbed ego demands. In short… because l SAY so.
There, as a female, you should be able to relate to that gamey waffle.
November 23rd, 2005 at 3:29 am - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
Half-Soul. I was happy to be of help. Your English is certainly better than any non-English human language I speak!
To add to the mini “language lesson”, it’s also worth noting the verb choices Arielle used, not just “notice” vs. “see”.
If I say “men do not notice”, I imply (suggest) that men CHOOSE not to notice. (This is what she did, if I recall).
If I say “men can not notice”, I imply that men are INCAPABLE of noticing.
Confusingly, if I say “men may not notice”, I imply either that they are NOT PERMITTED to notice or that they PERHAPS will CHOOSE not to notice.
Yes, English is a complex and peculiar language!
As for suggestions of a good book that’s cutting edge and actually useful on male psychology, I’m not really sure for several reasons.
One of the problems is that any research into population genetics and gender biases [and how they impact the brain] is generally viewed as highly politically incorrect. In part this is because much past research in this field has been incredibly stupid and even evil, leading to the sterilization of populations viewed as “defective”. (Margaret Sanger, a woman — no surprise there — lead racist efforts in North America to attempt to prevent whole populations from reproducing.)
This has lead to much of the work in this area being fluffy nonsense (e.g., Deborah Blum’s book, Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women. Her book is not garbage, but it is anecdotal and not remotely scientifically rigorous. It also contains many false views of the “superiority” of women.
Possibly a better work — certainly more scientific, but still, somewhat anecdotal and biased towards his speciality (the study of autism) would be Professor Simon Baron-Cohen’s [Cambridge] The Essential Difference: The Truth about the Male and Female Brain. It is worth noting that every male reviewer on Amazon.com gave Prof Baron-Cohen’s work 5 stars, and every female 1. Despite this, his work too says many kind things about women that are perhaps exaggerations.
Some have recommended Steven Rhoads’ Taking Sex Differences Seriously. I don’t know as I’ve not read it.
Dick (and even Arielle) may well know far more about the psychological aspects of gender differences than I and be better equipped to suggest something to your taste and needs. My studies in gender psychology are broad, but not deep.
Hopefully the above was of some help. Nice to meet you as well, Half Soul.
-wolfe.
November 23rd, 2005 at 10:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
You’ll have to rely on Mr. Masterson for this one. I’ve never actually read any psychology books.* The only book I’ve been interested in reading that is in the fringe of that field is Dr. Laura’s ‘The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands’. From what I’ve heard, it has good, common sense insight into what is important to men in a marriage, as well as how to behave as a woman and a lady instead of a nagging harpy. It’s written for women, obviously, so it isn’t likely to interest Half-soul.
Actually - I’ve only heard about that book through other women. Have any of the men here heard of it and if so, what were your thoughts on it?
*(Anyone with even moderate intelligence that hasn’t been thoroughly brainwashed by feminist dogma should know that there are innate differences between the male and female brains as well as male and female behavior and capabilities.)
November 23rd, 2005 at 8:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: d754ab99d7c00
I’ve heard of it; it’s also more of a self-help book than a serious work on psychology which I assume is more what Half Soul is looking for.
The number to escape being cowed or brainwashed by said dogma is vanishingly small in the media elites, chattering classes, the academy, and other “good and great” trendsetters of Respectable Opinion in most of the West. Just look at the Summers controversy at Harvard where their president spoke of life choices and, reportedly, “innate differences” possibly explaining why there were far fewer women than men in the hard sciences and engineering. He was excoriated, vilified by a rampaging mob of lunatics bearing torches, pouring through the gates. (Many of them were of course already inside the gates.)
(http://www.slate.com/id/2112570/).
Hence, the value (and rarity) of sites such as this.
November 23rd, 2005 at 10:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
Yes, I did indeed hear about that fracas, Wolfe. There is so much that we could say on that topic that I do not even know where to start.
November 26th, 2005 at 11:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5e505ac6e0b2a
But according to the feminazy ……..everyone is equal………….
Has everyone been lied to ………?
really.
November 28th, 2005 at 7:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: d95eaef413ad8
No, everyone has not been lied to exactly, but as with most things said by feminazis, it was and still is being misconstrued. Indeed men and women may be equal(as far as the value of life is concerned). However men and women are not the same nor are we ment to be, our differences are “supposed” to be what attracts us to one another. yet the average feminazi see the differences as a cause to justify their overwhelming if completely illogical inferiority complex. Just my humble opinion.
November 29th, 2005 at 1:22 am - IP Man-Hash: af3d00aeb0d9a
Equality is a myth.
November 30th, 2005 at 6:53 am - IP Man-Hash: b212d2a0b7284
I still have a giggle at the following story I read a few years ago, I must find it again…
Apparently one of the feminazy (I forget it’s name) had a daughter. She was determined that the daughter would not be given the option of being a girl, that is, she denied her little girl any dolls or anything that would distinguish her apart from a boy.
She thought that she as a mother was an exemplary example of feminasty right up until she found that the little girl had made a doll out of the rags that she had found around the house.
Feminasty mother found it in her bed one morning.
Feminazy mother decided there and then that male and female are different and tossed the feminazy doctrine and went on to become a writer for men’s rights.
Some women wake up to the lies and deceit. Most do not want to.
December 10th, 2005 at 12:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 94bbe3affbced
Women are like female these days, lazy filthy scums. You work all week, then they expect you will come home and clean too. What a bunch of useless whores !
May 27th, 2007 at 10:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 45a323ff28db9
I couldn’t care less if a woman cant clean house. With only two exceptions! 1) as long as the sheets were changed since the last one. 2) she should not bitch about me and at me because of housecleaning shit. Being older than 4, i know how to clean up my own mess. As a result, that shouldnt be a problem if anyone varies from the program just a little. If you are hearing about the seat left up and your poop stain, which you then clean, and she is still bitching after that…this anomalie is otherwise called PSYCHO BITCH. RUN!!!! DO. NOT. HESITATE. JUST> RUN!!!!!
May 27th, 2007 at 1:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: a195d2c8d4a47
It’s been my experience that in the last 30 years, women have developed this mindset that they aren’t servants to men. Well, maybe, maybe not, but as a result, when they live with a man, the tend not to do housework because they perceive that as servitude, even when they don’t work and the man brings in all the income.
This isn’t all the time, but from what I’ve seen, it’s the preponderance (and I’m not speaking only from my own former domestic situation, although it’s pretty representative) . I can only conclude that modern women under 50 tend to be fucking lazy bitches. Not to mention parasitic, controlling whores.
In my humble opinion, a man shouldn’t even HAVE a woman living with him. There’s absolutely no benefit. Men generally don’t need the money, the woman almost always start wanting to get pregnant, the sex becomes boring and tapers off to 1/5 of what it used to be, and the don’t do chores. Where’s the benefit in that? What’s left, her pleasant company and conversation? In all likelihood, the biggest reason for her moving in was probably the convenient sex, and after that dries up, there’s nothing left except for her bitching. Men, you have more self-respect than that.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 18c7a28f6040f
I use dishsoap for “body wash” and shampoo. That is what you call cleanliness.
June 25th, 2007 at 12:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 627d8941208ed
All the truth. Men who get married to modern ticks are young morons surging with lust or closet homosexuals looking for a social cover to climb the corporate/political ladder.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5e639607182a1
“Since women don’t pay any bills they don’t know how the fuck they work. ”
What? I pay all my own bills, thanks. I also don’t nag my boyfriend to clean, nor do I hold it above him when I do. You guys are idiots.
November 7th, 2007 at 9:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 3ba3d3038a9d6
just become gay & be with your non-woman-having gay boyfriends.
It’s been my experience that in the last 30 years, women have developed this mindset that they aren’t servants to men. Well, maybe, maybe not, but as a result, when they live with a man, the tend not to do housework because they perceive that as servitude, even when they don’t work and the man brings in all the income.
This isn’t all the time, but from what I’ve seen, it’s the preponderance (and I’m not speaking only from my own former domestic situation, although it’s pretty representative) . I can only conclude that modern women under 50 tend to be fucking lazy bitches. Not to mention parasitic, controlling whores.
In my humble opinion, a man shouldn’t even HAVE a woman living with him. There’s absolutely no benefit. Men generally don’t need the money, the woman almost always start wanting to get pregnant, the sex becomes boring and tapers off to 1/5 of what it used to be, and the don’t do chores. Where’s the benefit in that? What’s left, her pleasant company and conversation? In all likelihood, the biggest reason for her moving in was probably the convenient sex, and after that dries up, there’s nothing left except for her bitching. Men, you have more self-respect than that.
November 7th, 2007 at 9:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 2f854bed461cf
Idiots? Turn gay? Wow, thanks for proving everything that Dick has set out to accomplish. You do your gender credit. Bravo.
November 7th, 2007 at 9:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 3ba3d3038a9d6
yeah, he’s an idiot.
January 26th, 2008 at 10:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
Whatever