Watch Out Pedestrians! It’s Danica Patrick!
“Hi. Um, you know, it’s really, really unfortunate what happened today. Thoughts and prayers are with him, with his family and hopefully he can get back on the track soon and be able to do what he loves. Thank you.” - Danica Patrick
What the man in question “loves” is not getting hit by race cars — specially race cars driven by professional cocktease and race car driver Danica Patrick.
Last week, Danica Patrick proved once and for all that women do belong in professional car racing. They belong in the winner’s circle in a bikini, blasting cheap champagne all over celebrating men with awesome mustaches.
Women do not belong in the drivers seat. Women never belong in the driver’s seat.
Last week, Danica Patrick hit a pit crew member at Indianapolis Motor Speedway with her race car. She was going like a million miles an hour and also messed up his face with her back wheel. If the pit crew member in question had been a woman, he would probably be dead — or at least suing over a fucked up face.
“You don’t like to see that kind of thing, but, you know, it’s not Danica’s fault, it’s not anybody’s fault,” said Marco Andretti, Danica Patrick’s teammate and apparent co-conspirator in the murder of my good friend Personal Responsibility.
We’ve all said something stupid to cover for a woman’s mistakes. Well maybe not all of us. Not me for example, but either way, that’s why MenAreBetterThanWomen.com exists. On this website, we don’t have to praise women for their fuck ups. We can call a spade a spade and we can call a woman a vagina life-support system.
“Wrong place, wrong time,” said Mitch Davis, Dale Coyne Racing’s chief mechanic.
“Wrong place, wrong time, wrong gender,” said Dick Masterson.
Is it a coincidence that the only car going AWOL through the human herd of a crowded IndyCar pit was driven by a woman? Is it a coincidence that women get in more accidents per mile driven than men? Is it a coincidence that women look at how expensive your shoes are before deciding if they’re going to fuck you?
No. Women are whores.
“In this case, there isn’t anything differently that Danica could have done.” said Brian Barnhart, president of the IndyCar Series.
Yes there is. She could have gotten knocked up by a millionaire at 17 and never driven again. Chuck Buckman sure would be a lot happier today and his head would be a lot less lumpy.
But what if these guys are right? What if crashing a car into a person really wasn’t Danica Patrick’s fault? Even though it’s everyone’s fault in the real world even if they’re drunk.
I think I’ve figured out what these men are saying. Obviously, the powers that be removed the brake pedal from Danica’s car years ago and replaced it with a second gas pedal. We all know women drive slow as hell. The only reason Danica Patrick places in these races at all must be because instead of brakes, she has an extra gas pedal. The harder she wants to stop, the faster she goes.
If all that insane nonsense was true, then yes, it there was nothing Danica could have done differently.
“It’s no one’s fault” didn’t fly for Bill Buckner or Joey Buttafuco, and it will never fly on MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
When “better” becomes a dirty word, “fault” is next in line. Fault defines “betterness”. In order to undermine basic valuations of “betterness”, fault must be discounted.
Men are better than women. Electricity, medicine, and penicillin is our fault. It’s Danica Patrick’s fault her car ran into a fleeing person. Cars are better than people at moving around, Danica. Or did you not learn that at the age of 16 when your parents pulled you out of school and shoehorned you into the European racing leagues because they realized the potential cash cow of a woman race car driver who wasn’t afraid to sell out between the ages of 23 and 27.
Danica Patrick cheats. She’s 100 pounds lighter than all the other drivers and that makes her car 100 pounds faster. The loss of muscle mass does not cancel out the weight advantage. These people are driving high performance machines, not Flintstone mobiles.
She also hits people and then does her impression of that retarded Miss Teen USA contestant.
While we’re congratulating Danica Patrick on being the first woman to win an IndyCar race, let’s also congratulate her on being the first woman to brutalize a pit crew member with a thousand pounds of steel and fiber glass. If Bill Buckner can’t get away with blowing the World Series, why does Danica Patrick get away with committing the worst female driving disaster in history?
It’s because she’s a woman. As long as women can cry and look good in a bikini, they’ll never have to deal with my friend Personal Responsibility. And that’s a good thing, as he is a very crude man.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/racing/05/09/danica.strikes.crew man/
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080509/SPORTS0107 /80509042/1052/SPORTS01
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indycar is nothing , Formula 1 is everything .Even in european racing competitions there are a few women , and they always fill the last spot. But why are women doing there??? only marketing so fucking sick rabid feminist bitches would watch their women idol and make ratings for the TV post and other.Women can’t drive , can’t park a car .This bitch has copyied other men driving and now wants to be one , but even though her car is lighter because fat is lighter than muscles and men have a 13% bigger brain , this bitch still doesn’t compare to a real men like sebastian bourdais and etc . In indycar there are lots of amators and this bitch with the intensive training she had , she’s still no match to men.
TITS!
Wikipedia says:
“In Patrick’s first race with AGR at Homestead on March 24 she finished 14th after crashing into the pit wall on lap 154.”
“Her luck would get a little better at Infineon as she ran in the top 10 and finished 6th. However a series of slow pit stops kept her from what could have been an even better finish.”
“At the season finale in Chicagoland Speedway, Patrick ran most of the race in the top 6, but had to make a pit stop for fuel with 7 laps to go. When entering pit lane, Patrick spun-out but avoided damage to her car.”
Poor girl. Pulling to the side has always been difficult for her.
Also, she’s a complete fucking bitch:
“At Milwaukee, Patrick started second to last but moved up quickly to 5th before contact with Dan Wheldon. Patrick managed to save the car from hitting anything but the wreck caused aerodynamic damage. She used a timely caution to get back on the lead lap and finish 8th. After the race she and Wheldon had a heated exchange after she tried to confront him about the wreck.”
“During the Indianapolis 500 on May 25, 2008, she retired from the race early after a collision in the pitlane. As Ryan Briscoe exited his pitbox the two cars collided, damaging Patrick’s left rear suspension and eliminating both from the race. After being pushed back to her own pit, Patrick left her car and headed down pit road towards Briscoe’s pit at which point IMS security intervened, preventing an on-track confrontation.”
Going by what evidence we have, she appears to be psychometrically male. Just a biological oddity of a woman born with a male architecture brain, which you do see every now and again.
Yeah, “works” for her money by running down her own pit crew. Just like the checkout chicks down at the grocery store “work” for their money by not remembering my request for a “soft 20-pack of Malboro Reds” long enough to avoid asking me 3 times what it was I asked for. Just like those female newspaper editors “work” for their money by filling the minds of other women with cinnamon buns, teddy bears, weddings, rabid feminism, and other assorted bullshit. Just like feminists “work” for their money by tearing down the social system that allows them to live beyond childbirth and the age of 20, that allows them to use their time for “working” instead of foraging in the bushes for berries or whatever the fuck. “Work” for their money by stripping men of privileges we earned through the blood, sweat and tears of our fathers, the efforts of the great men that succeeded and the corpses of the untold millions that failed on the path to greatness and have been forgotten.
good work, women. you have confirmed in the last 40 years what men have been saying for 40 generations. enjoy your “equality” while it lasts.
Are you fucking with me? Not her fault! Just like it wasn’t the terrorists fault for the deaths on 9/11. My God what is this world coming too!!!
Oh and furthermore . . . . ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT THING . . . .
Women all over the place - including YOU - know PLENTY of men who offer them respect, compliments, adoration, dinner, drinks, and ALL KINDS OF SHIT. Every woman knows (or has known) plenty of NICE GUYS who would LOVE to go out with her . . . and respect her . . . and sleep with her . . .and do ANYTHING for her.
Well guess what.
WOMEN RUN AWAY FROM MEN LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
Your litte “friend’ who you lie to and say “we’re just friends” is one of those poor guys.
He actually believes you. And he respects you. And you want nothing to do with him.
Women don’t actually WANT respect.
They LEAVE men who respect them ALL THE TIME.
So shut the fuck up.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Hilarious. Yet another woman who has NO fucking idea of what “RESPECT” is.
Respect is not DESERVED —>> IT IS EARNED.
When will you idiots get that through your fucking heads????
All you cunts ever go on about is what you DESERVE.
“I DESERVE this . . . I DESERVE that . . . . I DESERVE all kinds of shit”.
You don’t “deserve” ANYTHING you didn’t earn.
Example: Driving is not YOUR RIGHT –>> IT’S A PRIVILEGE.
Understand????
Jack knows it. Men know it . . . . why don’t YOU????
Jack Nicholson would be the first person to tell you that.
Smarten the fuck up. Get the fuck off this website.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
ANyway celebs are in a whole different category Kristen. You can be a nice guy and get laid if you are rich and famous. So you make kind of a weak arguement ma’am.
Jerks and A-holes get laid for one thing.
You don’t know Jack nicholson personally im assuming. Maybe he slaps his women around a bit? or at least gives them a nice verbal lashing
Jack Nicholson owns ya!
He is handsome, classy , respects women who deserve respect. and I agree with his stance on women. He is just cooler than you! And talented !
sexxy! :)
Men that hate women must have had bad lives, I hate neither men nor women.
I hate obnoxious, illiterate, jerks who make a living the way any whore does. And degrades them from their own perspective instead of seeing positive women. I know some men are assholes, but I do not feel superior to them either.
Jack Nicholson owns ya!
He is handsome, classy , respects women who deserve respect. and I agree with his stance on women. He is just cooler than all of you! And talented !
sexxy! :)
Nothing wrong with being a whore. She takes off her clothes better than she drives. Whats so confusing about that.
Yeah really….you guys need to stop contradicting yourself
I’m a little confused about you. If she had been knocked up by a rich man at 17 and never driven again in her life, you would still consider her a whore for: A) Being a woman and B) Not doing anything and getting tons of money, but instead she actually works for her money and you still call her a whore. You are so fucking stupid.
One should note that one of the reasons men tend to crash more is because they DO explore the limits of their vehicles. So yes, they sometimes fuck up and flip their cars onto your lawn. That’s the important bit.
By exploring the limits of their vehicles, they learn what to do and what not to do. Sorry, no matter how much your driving instructor tells you what to do, you’re not going to get it right without practice. Men wreck in practice.
In contrast, you women with your makeup and cellphone while driving will never be able to react fast enough or know what to do when the shit hits the fan.
Would a women create a masterpiece if her lover left her? No, she’d just find another prick to sit on. You see?
Men are better than women.
Oh how I laughed. Not.
The best that could be said for “men” like you is that some girl left you, thus this masterpiece of a website was born! Ta-da!
Whatever.
It’s too bad that using auto insurance rates doesn’t actually prove anything. Men do the majority of the driving and per mile get into fewer accidents. So while your anecdotes and recourse to criminal pricing of insurance companies is amusing, it does not change the fact that the fundamental truth is that women are worse drivers, on average.
I definitely agree, bola. I got my license in 1986. I’ve been in two accidents since: one my fault, one the other guy’s fault. Both fender-benders. One was in 1989, the other in 1994. I was in my early 20s, inexperience led to them both.
If people are smashing into you at a rate of 2 per year, you’re doing something even if the cops find that it technically wasn’t your fault. Women are real good at doing something unexpected and fucked-up, causing an accident, and then successfully passing it off as the other guy’s fault, hence the skewed statistics. Playing the babe-in-the-woods routine and crying gets them a lot of mileage. Laws can’t be written to cover every possibility.
My thoughts exactly. That story stinks to high heaven. I’ve been driving a car for 24 years never been hit and have never hit anything, unless I wanted to.
You’re full of shit. If people are smashing into you right and left, you’re doing something fucked-up. My sister-in-law claimed the same thing to her parents and she turned out to be full of shit.
Guess what I have been in 4 car accidents in the last 7 years…how many were a man’s fault…um all of them
1. I was backing up and a MAN tried to drive a full size truck around a compact car and destroyed the back end of the vehicle
2. I was parked and a MAN hit my car and drove off
3. I has at a stop sign and gues what a MAN didn’t noticed I was stopped and drove into the back end of my car.
4. A MAN driving a dump truck crossed the center line and hit my car
hmmm all of these accidents were caused by MEN!
On a seperate incident a drunk driver (A MAN) tried to do circus acts with his car and flipped his vehicle on its top into my in-laws driveway and almost totaled another vehicle that was parked.
“Unfortunately, if you’re a young male, this can mean bad news for your wallet. Generally, males between the ages of 16-25 pay more for auto insurance than females the same age. Here are some gender behaviors auto insurance actuaries predict will occur behind the wheel:
Males typically drive more than females. The more miles you drive, the higher your chances are for accidents and auto insurance claims.
Young males take more risks behind the wheel. (Insurance companies charge inexperienced drivers— both male and female— higher auto insurance rates since they’re more likely to file an auto insurance claim or get a speeding ticket sometime during their young driving careers.)
Young adult males push their limits behind the wheel. As a result, they’re more likely to drive when tired and fall asleep behind the wheel.” From Esurance.com
SUck on it dumbass
I have to agree somewhat. I know two great women who drive with sense…and I was in a car adciddent with one when another woman crashed into us.
Backwards.
In a Jeep.
PAST A RED LIGHT.
She literally crossed the light, thought she wasn’t across, and drove backwards into us a few inches from the driver’s seat. I tell you if we weren’t in a SUV instead of a regular car the sane woman driver would have been fucked. So when I remember that and see ms Patrick….yeah not much of a streach at all.
Oh man, I love your articles Dick. Freaking hilarious, and mostly true at the same time.
Since i’m on your website i’ll give you credit and say it’s all true. But still, I can’t help but laugh so hard. Keep it coming man, you’re doing a great job for the human race.
It seems to be one extreme or the other with women drivers- they either drive like complete maniacs, in a rush to go nowhere, with complete disregard for traffic laws, OR they’re going 30mph in a 50 zone, driving purposelessly in the way of those who ACTUALLY have places to go (Not to mention all those times they try and enter the one way streets going the wrong way).
By the statistics that I’ve compiled on my daily commute, I’ve concluded that women are dumber than shit.
>>but then if women had been running the world instead of us, there wouldn’t be a world for them to run.
Amen, brother. Look out your window, which was probably installed by a man, in your dwelling which was also probably built by a man. Everything you see out there was either invented by a man, or actually made by a man. Streets; sewers under the streets; cars; sidewalks; houses; electrical wires; stores; the airplanes flying overhead; if you take away everything that was invented or made by a man, you have some loose debris and cheap trinkets lying in the mud. And, there won’t be much food to eat.
For forty years vicious man-haters have deliberately ignored everything good men do, to concentrate on the bad things a few men do. Brothers; don’t let them do it to you any more. If you are doing something bad, stop it. Chances are, you aren’t. So, take pride in the good things men do.
For forty years, we have heard how much better than men women are. Not only aren’t men in the Anglosphere not as bad as the women say; collectively women in the Anglosphere don’t even deserve their men. If you don’t believe me, come to the Third World and ask the women here, heh, heh.
I am not a woman-hater. At least not exactly. However, most women in the Anglosphere today are rather hateful. And, if a woman is hateful and I choose to hate her, that does not make me a woman hater as such. That is an example of an intelligent response to stimuli.
Here in the Third World, of an estimated 40 women who live near me, IMO 3 of them are sane and rational. That is an unbelievably high ratio. And, the other 37 almost all cook; clean; scrub; care for the children; and give their husbands sex once in a while.
Nearly 100 years ago, a woman drove a car across the US, and all the dearies made a big deal about her achievement. So what if the car was designed and made by men, and her support crew was all male. She was empowered!! What a heroine!!
Only a vagina does.
Back when she was busy running people off the public roads, her driving instructor taught her not to “over-correct.”
You forgot to rank her ass (arse if your English).
She doesn’t impress me. Danica’s got an average face, no rack at all, decent legs and too thick around the middle (see S.I. swimsuit 2008 model pictorial). I give her a 5.5 out of ten but age will drop her rating fast. Who cares about her driving skills? Now if she could cook I might be impressed.”Iron my shirt bitch”.
I wouldn’t let her drive me anywhere (avoiding at all cost women driving while you are in the car is one of the older Hammer posts). I’m not sayin I would bitch slap her with my penis if she tried to get the car keys but I would sure as hell opt out of that ride.
Exactly
The roads would be a safer place for us all if Congress finally did something good for the country by banning women from ever driving an automobile. Ahh, perfect utopia…
Hey Dick, love the site! She is not driving a Formula 1 car that is a very, very different beast, she or any other woman for that matter could not handle a F1 car in their wildest dreams!!
I dont really know much about Nascar but when he says in the above news report ‘the biggest name in the sport’, I assume he means in the same way that Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, Floyd Mayweather, Mika Hakkinen etc are in their respective sports?
Is she ranked at the top in her sport?
Women are boring, you don’t have to tell us that. We undertake more, take more risks. If women were running the world it would be a safer place, for sure, but then if women had been running the world instead of us, there wouldn’t be a world for them to run. We’d all still be sitting in a tree in Africa. And they’d all be saying: I’m not going down that tree, it’s dangerous, there’s lions out there. Gotta think about my insurance rate.
I’m not linking you, Matt, I’m linking the whole wide world in a magnanimous gesture of sharing manformation :-)
“Besides being a role model, drivers have to have the ability to drive competitively. Although highly touted in her Rookie season, Patrick’s best finish was fourth in the Indy 500, where I’ll admit she did become the first woman to lead the Indy 500 in its almost 100 year history.
And yet that doesn’t make her a good driver. Why, you might ask. The IRL series is much different than NASCAR, not only the open wheel type of cars, but the mechanics that go into making this race car. These cars are made of “money” and are not mandated the same way as NASCAR does. Often times one team consistently wins because of the quality of the engine they are able to use, not the ability of the driver. It doesn’t take a good driver to keep a great car at the front of the race; however, it does take a great driver to make a good car a winning car. And Patrick has had the best of equipment, even admittedly favored over her teammates. And as of yet, Patrick has not shown she can “race” in the IRL series.”
LMAO
Damn great catch, Dick. This bitch needs to get off the track and show us her rack.
Dude is inside the line of his own pit area. When Danica says that it wasn’t her fault, by default she really means that it was his fault. Typical woman, it’s everybody’s job to get the fuck out of her way because she is too important and busy. Aside from being good looking, Danica is on the female affirmative-action plan, so running people over and other embarrassing goofs are always somebody else’s fault. I hope pit dude finds her and makes her wear a torque wrench up her ass for a month.
One million male doctors operate a patient. Around 1000 cause a fatality due to negligence.
Two female doctors operate a patient and they both survive.
This is seemingly your logic and I hope you see why you are wrong, statistically and logically.
That man deserves some serious man points for what happened, if the video was any longer it probably would have showed him walk it off like a champ. If I were him I would always have a clip of that video on me to show whores and get pussy all day. Women drivers, no survivors.
“Hit the treadmill” - Dick
the fact of the matter is men are just better than women…now and always
I do like it when they actually get a shot off, though. Are there any videos of fat-titted spunk-lips shooting rifles while naked and crying?
Jesus Christ, manholes are fucking useless. Thank God I know better than to get married now - I wasted my entire high school years living some perverse fetish - I actually wanted to marry a stupid, slutty manhole! Fuck conditioning and fuck feminism; thank God that joke is finally being put to bed and smothered with a pillow.
Or another manhole’s tit. That would be hotter.
It is hot when a manhole tries to do math; it’s a lot like that video where the manhole tries to hold a gun. No no no, -500 man-points for letting your manhole hold a gun; manholes can’t even handle a keyboard properly. Hell, if you want to get rid of your manhole, try dumping her in a state park with a .22.
I don’t need to argue with you. All you are is a overpriced fuckbox; I’d rather get a cleaner, better one for only my time, spunk-lips.
Tits or fuck off.
Not using a seatbelt: +50 man points
Drinking before driving: +100 man points
According to the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety, men’s fatal crash rates per mile are about 1.8 times those of women. Men are more likely than women to be in single-vehicle crashes. Men are less likely to use seat belts and more likely to have been drinking prior to their crashes. They’re also more likely than women to have suspended licenses or previous convictions.
Reference:
http://www.lacrossetribune.com/articles/2007/06/26/news/02sexes26.txt
Exactly, a man would have easily avoided the poor sod. Its almost as if she meant to do it.
Its one thing if he was standing in the center of the lane. Its a completely different thing if he is standing off to the side and she turns and drives into him. How could she not be deemed responsible for her own actions.
How many man points do I get for placing the following sticker on her bumper?
Chicks kick ass! but they suck dick better…
Bola, dont link me to Danica Patricks biography. I dont give two shits unless there are some naked pics of her there. So they throw some cinder blocks in her car very nice. while they are at it they should tie mattresses on her bumpers.
Damn, it was good too….
That’s WOMEN drivers, no survivors…
Wowmen drivers, no survivors….
False.
That is 100% false.
-Dick
Manholes are frightened because as the gross time a man spends on this site increases, he becomes more likely to use birth control and refute propositions.
Their little facade of power is crumbling before their spunk-encrusted crack whore eyes.
I love it when manholes attempt to do math on this site. It’s actually about as erotic as they can get without sending pictures of lesbian experimentation with her hot sister. I could care less about the sodomy, that’s their cross to bear.
According to wikipedia this advantage has now been addressed: “Since the IRL-Champ Car unification before the beginning of the 2008 season, the revised rules define the minimum weight of the car as including the driver.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danica_Patrick
Duh, duh, duh, doiiiihhh?????
Women drive fewer miles than men, and rightly so.
Poor manhole is so pissy that she can’t even perform basic math. What I’d do to that rose-cheeked face of hers.
Feminism always burdens men for woman’s hopelessness.
By the insurance industry’s own statistics (an organization run primarily by men) women are deemed to be better drivers. This is evidenced in part by the fact that women as a group have lower rates than men. As well if you were to add up the number of times that men have wrecked their race cars (formula one , NASCAR, etc ) the number would be staggering. One women hits one men who was not paying attention and standing in the lane, and you have the audacity to claim that its the woman’s fault? Could it be perhaps that he was the idiot who was standing where he shouldn’t be?
Of course there was some lame excuse for this stupidity, a woman was involved. If this were a male driver, he would be called an idiot, moron and marked as a danger to all- rightly so. This is exactly why a male is not going to do such a thing: he knows the consequences.
No, it’s always the driver’s fault for hitting a pedestrian. Were she at her station, a near-death experience would rather be a burnt salad and a day in the naughty box.
Women are commies.
Anyone blaming Danica for hitting the crew member is a moron that doesn’t know a damn thing about racing and what goes on in the pits. It is the responsibility of a crew member to stay clear of of all cars pulling into the pits.
The accident didn’t even occur during a race but during practice when there are a lot more people in and around the pits. The rules are not so tight at those times but still anyone along the pit lane has the responsibility to stay out of harms way.
If you don’t want to believe it then read what Mario Andretti said about the incident. You’re a fucking moron Dick M. Probably gay as well.
“Her teammate, Marco Andretti, commented on how congested pit area was during Friday’s practice session after he was second quickest during Friday’s session at 226.710 miles per hour. Scott Dixon was the fastest at 225.968 mph.
Andretti had a clear view of what happened.
“It’s a dangerous situation; a crowded pit lane, a lot going on,” Andretti said. “You don’t like to see that kind of thing but it’s not Danica’s fault. Stuff happens. Racing is dangerous. We’re very concerned and hopefully it will turn out good.”
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/racing/05/09/danica.strikes.crew man/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
I can’t see the video myself so I hope you’re fucking kidding me. I’m thinking about the whole thing and that doesn’t seem possible.
Dude’s reaction time was pretty slow. The crew member should know better than anyone that if you see a driver coming at you like that you jump you’re happy ass out the way.
Danica thought she was driving her mini van with the “soccer mom” bumper sticker
“It’s not her fault.”
Yes it fucking was. I’m sick of this cuntry giving women pussy passes every time they fuck up or shoot their husbands in the back while sleeping.
She gets away with it ’cause her “fuck-me” meter’s up in the sky. I bet the pit crew member who got hit is still waiting for his com