Watch Out Pedestrians! It’s Danica Patrick!
“Hi. Um, you know, it’s really, really unfortunate what happened today. Thoughts and prayers are with him, with his family and hopefully he can get back on the track soon and be able to do what he loves. Thank you.” - Danica Patrick
What the man in question “loves” is not getting hit by race cars — specially race cars driven by professional cocktease and race car driver Danica Patrick.
Last week, Danica Patrick proved once and for all that women do belong in professional car racing. They belong in the winner’s circle in a bikini, blasting cheap champagne all over celebrating men with awesome mustaches.
Women do not belong in the drivers seat. Women never belong in the driver’s seat.
Last week, Danica Patrick hit a pit crew member at Indianapolis Motor Speedway with her race car. She was going like a million miles an hour and also messed up his face with her back wheel. If the pit crew member in question had been a woman, he would probably be dead — or at least suing over a fucked up face.
“You don’t like to see that kind of thing, but, you know, it’s not Danica’s fault, it’s not anybody’s fault,” said Marco Andretti, Danica Patrick’s teammate and apparent co-conspirator in the murder of my good friend Personal Responsibility.
We’ve all said something stupid to cover for a woman’s mistakes. Well maybe not all of us. Not me for example, but either way, that’s why MenAreBetterThanWomen.com exists. On this website, we don’t have to praise women for their fuck ups. We can call a spade a spade and we can call a woman a vagina life-support system.
“Wrong place, wrong time,” said Mitch Davis, Dale Coyne Racing’s chief mechanic.
“Wrong place, wrong time, wrong gender,” said Dick Masterson.
Is it a coincidence that the only car going AWOL through the human herd of a crowded IndyCar pit was driven by a woman? Is it a coincidence that women get in more accidents per mile driven than men? Is it a coincidence that women look at how expensive your shoes are before deciding if they’re going to fuck you?
No. Women are whores.
“In this case, there isn’t anything differently that Danica could have done.” said Brian Barnhart, president of the IndyCar Series.
Yes there is. She could have gotten knocked up by a millionaire at 17 and never driven again. Chuck Buckman sure would be a lot happier today and his head would be a lot less lumpy.
But what if these guys are right? What if crashing a car into a person really wasn’t Danica Patrick’s fault? Even though it’s everyone’s fault in the real world even if they’re drunk.
I think I’ve figured out what these men are saying. Obviously, the powers that be removed the brake pedal from Danica’s car years ago and replaced it with a second gas pedal. We all know women drive slow as hell. The only reason Danica Patrick places in these races at all must be because instead of brakes, she has an extra gas pedal. The harder she wants to stop, the faster she goes.
If all that insane nonsense was true, then yes, it there was nothing Danica could have done differently.
“It’s no one’s fault” didn’t fly for Bill Buckner or Joey Buttafuco, and it will never fly on MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
When “better” becomes a dirty word, “fault” is next in line. Fault defines “betterness”. In order to undermine basic valuations of “betterness”, fault must be discounted.
Men are better than women. Electricity, medicine, and penicillin is our fault. It’s Danica Patrick’s fault her car ran into a fleeing person. Cars are better than people at moving around, Danica. Or did you not learn that at the age of 16 when your parents pulled you out of school and shoehorned you into the European racing leagues because they realized the potential cash cow of a woman race car driver who wasn’t afraid to sell out between the ages of 23 and 27.
Danica Patrick cheats. She’s 100 pounds lighter than all the other drivers and that makes her car 100 pounds faster. The loss of muscle mass does not cancel out the weight advantage. These people are driving high performance machines, not Flintstone mobiles.
She also hits people and then does her impression of that retarded Miss Teen USA contestant.
While we’re congratulating Danica Patrick on being the first woman to win an IndyCar race, let’s also congratulate her on being the first woman to brutalize a pit crew member with a thousand pounds of steel and fiber glass. If Bill Buckner can’t get away with blowing the World Series, why does Danica Patrick get away with committing the worst female driving disaster in history?
It’s because she’s a woman. As long as women can cry and look good in a bikini, they’ll never have to deal with my friend Personal Responsibility. And that’s a good thing, as he is a very crude man.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/racing/05/09/danica.strikes.crew man/
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080509/SPORTS0107 /80509042/1052/SPORTS01
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Dude is inside the line of his own pit area. When Danica says that it wasn’t her fault, by default she really means that it was his fault. Typical woman, it’s everybody’s job to get the fuck out of her way because she is too important and busy. Aside from being good looking, Danica is on the female affirmative-action plan, so running people over and other embarrassing goofs are always somebody else’s fault. I hope pit dude finds her and makes her wear a torque wrench up her ass for a month.
One million male doctors operate a patient. Around 1000 cause a fatality due to negligence.
Two female doctors operate a patient and they both survive.
This is seemingly your logic and I hope you see why you are wrong, statistically and logically.
That man deserves some serious man points for what happened, if the video was any longer it probably would have showed him walk it off like a champ. If I were him I would always have a clip of that video on me to show whores and get pussy all day. Women drivers, no survivors.
“Hit the treadmill” - Dick
the fact of the matter is men are just better than women…now and always
I do like it when they actually get a shot off, though. Are there any videos of fat-titted spunk-lips shooting rifles while naked and crying?
Jesus Christ, manholes are fucking useless. Thank God I know better than to get married now - I wasted my entire high school years living some perverse fetish - I actually wanted to marry a stupid, slutty manhole! Fuck conditioning and fuck feminism; thank God that joke is finally being put to bed and smothered with a pillow.
Or another manhole’s tit. That would be hotter.
It is hot when a manhole tries to do math; it’s a lot like that video where the manhole tries to hold a gun. No no no, -500 man-points for letting your manhole hold a gun; manholes can’t even handle a keyboard properly. Hell, if you want to get rid of your manhole, try dumping her in a state park with a .22.
I don’t need to argue with you. All you are is a overpriced fuckbox; I’d rather get a cleaner, better one for only my time, spunk-lips.
Tits or fuck off.
Not using a seatbelt: +50 man points
Drinking before driving: +100 man points
According to the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety, men’s fatal crash rates per mile are about 1.8 times those of women. Men are more likely than women to be in single-vehicle crashes. Men are less likely to use seat belts and more likely to have been drinking prior to their crashes. They’re also more likely than women to have suspended licenses or previous convictions.
Reference:
http://www.lacrossetribune.com/articles/2007/06/26/news/02sexes26.txt
Exactly, a man would have easily avoided the poor sod. Its almost as if she meant to do it.
Its one thing if he was standing in the center of the lane. Its a completely different thing if he is standing off to the side and she turns and drives into him. How could she not be deemed responsible for her own actions.
How many man points do I get for placing the following sticker on her bumper?
Chicks kick ass! but they suck dick better…
Bola, dont link me to Danica Patricks biography. I dont give two shits unless there are some naked pics of her there. So they throw some cinder blocks in her car very nice. while they are at it they should tie mattresses on her bumpers.
Damn, it was good too….
That’s WOMEN drivers, no survivors…
Wowmen drivers, no survivors….
False.
That is 100% false.
-Dick
Manholes are frightened because as the gross time a man spends on this site increases, he becomes more likely to use birth control and refute propositions.
Their little facade of power is crumbling before their spunk-encrusted crack whore eyes.
I love it when manholes attempt to do math on this site. It’s actually about as erotic as they can get without sending pictures of lesbian experimentation with her hot sister. I could care less about the sodomy, that’s their cross to bear.
According to wikipedia this advantage has now been addressed: “Since the IRL-Champ Car unification before the beginning of the 2008 season, the revised rules define the minimum weight of the car as including the driver.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danica_Patrick
Duh, duh, duh, doiiiihhh?????
Women drive fewer miles than men, and rightly so.
Poor manhole is so pissy that she can’t even perform basic math. What I’d do to that rose-cheeked face of hers.