Watch Out Pedestrians! It’s Danica Patrick!
“Hi. Um, you know, it’s really, really unfortunate what happened today. Thoughts and prayers are with him, with his family and hopefully he can get back on the track soon and be able to do what he loves. Thank you.” - Danica Patrick
What the man in question “loves” is not getting hit by race cars — specially race cars driven by professional cocktease and race car driver Danica Patrick.
Last week, Danica Patrick proved once and for all that women do belong in professional car racing. They belong in the winner’s circle in a bikini, blasting cheap champagne all over celebrating men with awesome mustaches.
Women do not belong in the drivers seat. Women never belong in the driver’s seat.
Last week, Danica Patrick hit a pit crew member at Indianapolis Motor Speedway with her race car. She was going like a million miles an hour and also messed up his face with her back wheel. If the pit crew member in question had been a woman, he would probably be dead — or at least suing over a fucked up face.
“You don’t like to see that kind of thing, but, you know, it’s not Danica’s fault, it’s not anybody’s fault,” said Marco Andretti, Danica Patrick’s teammate and apparent co-conspirator in the murder of my good friend Personal Responsibility.
We’ve all said something stupid to cover for a woman’s mistakes. Well maybe not all of us. Not me for example, but either way, that’s why MenAreBetterThanWomen.com exists. On this website, we don’t have to praise women for their fuck ups. We can call a spade a spade and we can call a woman a vagina life-support system.
“Wrong place, wrong time,” said Mitch Davis, Dale Coyne Racing’s chief mechanic.
“Wrong place, wrong time, wrong gender,” said Dick Masterson.
Is it a coincidence that the only car going AWOL through the human herd of a crowded IndyCar pit was driven by a woman? Is it a coincidence that women get in more accidents per mile driven than men? Is it a coincidence that women look at how expensive your shoes are before deciding if they’re going to fuck you?
No. Women are whores.
“In this case, there isn’t anything differently that Danica could have done.” said Brian Barnhart, president of the IndyCar Series.
Yes there is. She could have gotten knocked up by a millionaire at 17 and never driven again. Chuck Buckman sure would be a lot happier today and his head would be a lot less lumpy.
But what if these guys are right? What if crashing a car into a person really wasn’t Danica Patrick’s fault? Even though it’s everyone’s fault in the real world even if they’re drunk.
I think I’ve figured out what these men are saying. Obviously, the powers that be removed the brake pedal from Danica’s car years ago and replaced it with a second gas pedal. We all know women drive slow as hell. The only reason Danica Patrick places in these races at all must be because instead of brakes, she has an extra gas pedal. The harder she wants to stop, the faster she goes.
If all that insane nonsense was true, then yes, it there was nothing Danica could have done differently.
“It’s no one’s fault” didn’t fly for Bill Buckner or Joey Buttafuco, and it will never fly on MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
When “better” becomes a dirty word, “fault” is next in line. Fault defines “betterness”. In order to undermine basic valuations of “betterness”, fault must be discounted.
Men are better than women. Electricity, medicine, and penicillin is our fault. It’s Danica Patrick’s fault her car ran into a fleeing person. Cars are better than people at moving around, Danica. Or did you not learn that at the age of 16 when your parents pulled you out of school and shoehorned you into the European racing leagues because they realized the potential cash cow of a woman race car driver who wasn’t afraid to sell out between the ages of 23 and 27.
Danica Patrick cheats. She’s 100 pounds lighter than all the other drivers and that makes her car 100 pounds faster. The loss of muscle mass does not cancel out the weight advantage. These people are driving high performance machines, not Flintstone mobiles.
She also hits people and then does her impression of that retarded Miss Teen USA contestant.
While we’re congratulating Danica Patrick on being the first woman to win an IndyCar race, let’s also congratulate her on being the first woman to brutalize a pit crew member with a thousand pounds of steel and fiber glass. If Bill Buckner can’t get away with blowing the World Series, why does Danica Patrick get away with committing the worst female driving disaster in history?
It’s because she’s a woman. As long as women can cry and look good in a bikini, they’ll never have to deal with my friend Personal Responsibility. And that’s a good thing, as he is a very crude man.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/racing/05/09/danica.strikes.crew man/
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080509/SPORTS0107 /80509042/1052/SPORTS01
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indycar is nothing , Formula 1 is everything .Even in european racing competitions there are a few women , and they always fill the last spot. But why are women doing there??? only marketing so fucking sick rabid feminist bitches would watch their women idol and make ratings for the TV post and other.Women can’t drive , can’t park a car .This bitch has copyied other men driving and now wants to be one , but even though her car is lighter because fat is lighter than muscles and men have a 13% bigger brain , this bitch still doesn’t compare to a real men like sebastian bourdais and etc . In indycar there are lots of amators and this bitch with the intensive training she had , she’s still no match to men.
TITS!
Wikipedia says:
“In Patrick’s first race with AGR at Homestead on March 24 she finished 14th after crashing into the pit wall on lap 154.”
“Her luck would get a little better at Infineon as she ran in the top 10 and finished 6th. However a series of slow pit stops kept her from what could have been an even better finish.”
“At the season finale in Chicagoland Speedway, Patrick ran most of the race in the top 6, but had to make a pit stop for fuel with 7 laps to go. When entering pit lane, Patrick spun-out but avoided damage to her car.”
Poor girl. Pulling to the side has always been difficult for her.
Also, she’s a complete fucking bitch:
“At Milwaukee, Patrick started second to last but moved up quickly to 5th before contact with Dan Wheldon. Patrick managed to save the car from hitting anything but the wreck caused aerodynamic damage. She used a timely caution to get back on the lead lap and finish 8th. After the race she and Wheldon had a heated exchange after she tried to confront him about the wreck.”
“During the Indianapolis 500 on May 25, 2008, she retired from the race early after a collision in the pitlane. As Ryan Briscoe exited his pitbox the two cars collided, damaging Patrick’s left rear suspension and eliminating both from the race. After being pushed back to her own pit, Patrick left her car and headed down pit road towards Briscoe’s pit at which point IMS security intervened, preventing an on-track confrontation.”
Going by what evidence we have, she appears to be psychometrically male. Just a biological oddity of a woman born with a male architecture brain, which you do see every now and again.
Yeah, “works” for her money by running down her own pit crew. Just like the checkout chicks down at the grocery store “work” for their money by not remembering my request for a “soft 20-pack of Malboro Reds” long enough to avoid asking me 3 times what it was I asked for. Just like those female newspaper editors “work” for their money by filling the minds of other women with cinnamon buns, teddy bears, weddings, rabid feminism, and other assorted bullshit. Just like feminists “work” for their money by tearing down the social system that allows them to live beyond childbirth and the age of 20, that allows them to use their time for “working” instead of foraging in the bushes for berries or whatever the fuck. “Work” for their money by stripping men of privileges we earned through the blood, sweat and tears of our fathers, the efforts of the great men that succeeded and the corpses of the untold millions that failed on the path to greatness and have been forgotten.
good work, women. you have confirmed in the last 40 years what men have been saying for 40 generations. enjoy your “equality” while it lasts.
Are you fucking with me? Not her fault! Just like it wasn’t the terrorists fault for the deaths on 9/11. My God what is this world coming too!!!
Oh and furthermore . . . . ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT THING . . . .
Women all over the place - including YOU - know PLENTY of men who offer them respect, compliments, adoration, dinner, drinks, and ALL KINDS OF SHIT. Every woman knows (or has known) plenty of NICE GUYS who would LOVE to go out with her . . . and respect her . . . and sleep with her . . .and do ANYTHING for her.
Well guess what.
WOMEN RUN AWAY FROM MEN LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
Your litte “friend’ who you lie to and say “we’re just friends” is one of those poor guys.
He actually believes you. And he respects you. And you want nothing to do with him.
Women don’t actually WANT respect.
They LEAVE men who respect them ALL THE TIME.
So shut the fuck up.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Hilarious. Yet another woman who has NO fucking idea of what “RESPECT” is.
Respect is not DESERVED —>> IT IS EARNED.
When will you idiots get that through your fucking heads????
All you cunts ever go on about is what you DESERVE.
“I DESERVE this . . . I DESERVE that . . . . I DESERVE all kinds of shit”.
You don’t “deserve” ANYTHING you didn’t earn.
Example: Driving is not YOUR RIGHT –>> IT’S A PRIVILEGE.
Understand????
Jack knows it. Men know it . . . . why don’t YOU????
Jack Nicholson would be the first person to tell you that.
Smarten the fuck up. Get the fuck off this website.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
ANyway celebs are in a whole different category Kristen. You can be a nice guy and get laid if you are rich and famous. So you make kind of a weak arguement ma’am.
Jerks and A-holes get laid for one thing.
You don’t know Jack nicholson personally im assuming. Maybe he slaps his women around a bit? or at least gives them a nice verbal lashing
Jack Nicholson owns ya!
He is handsome, classy , respects women who deserve respect. and I agree with his stance on women. He is just cooler than you! And talented !
sexxy! :)
Men that hate women must have had bad lives, I hate neither men nor women.
I hate obnoxious, illiterate, jerks who make a living the way any whore does. And degrades them from their own perspective instead of seeing positive women. I know some men are assholes, but I do not feel superior to them either.
Jack Nicholson owns ya!
He is handsome, classy , respects women who deserve respect. and I agree with his stance on women. He is just cooler than all of you! And talented !
sexxy! :)
Nothing wrong with being a whore. She takes off her clothes better than she drives. Whats so confusing about that.
Yeah really….you guys need to stop contradicting yourself
I’m a little confused about you. If she had been knocked up by a rich man at 17 and never driven again in her life, you would still consider her a whore for: A) Being a woman and B) Not doing anything and getting tons of money, but instead she actually works for her money and you still call her a whore. You are so fucking stupid.
One should note that one of the reasons men tend to crash more is because they DO explore the limits of their vehicles. So yes, they sometimes fuck up and flip their cars onto your lawn. That’s the important bit.
By exploring the limits of their vehicles, they learn what to do and what not to do. Sorry, no matter how much your driving instructor tells you what to do, you’re not going to get it right without practice. Men wreck in practice.
In contrast, you women with your makeup and cellphone while driving will never be able to react fast enough or know what to do when the shit hits the fan.
Would a women create a masterpiece if her lover left her? No, she’d just find another prick to sit on. You see?
Men are better than women.
Oh how I laughed. Not.
The best that could be said for “men” like you is that some girl left you, thus this masterpiece of a website was born! Ta-da!
Whatever.
It’s too bad that using auto insurance rates doesn’t actually prove anything. Men do the majority of the driving and per mile get into fewer accidents. So while your anecdotes and recourse to criminal pricing of insurance companies is amusing, it does not change the fact that the fundamental truth is that women are worse drivers, on average.
I definitely agree, bola. I got my license in 1986. I’ve been in two accidents since: one my fault, one the other guy’s fault. Both fender-benders. One was in 1989, the other in 1994. I was in my early 20s, inexperience led to them both.
If people are smashing into you at a rate of 2 per year, you’re doing something even if the cops find that it technically wasn’t your fault. Women are real good at doing something unexpected and fucked-up, causing an accident, and then successfully passing it off as the other guy’s fault, hence the skewed statistics. Playing the babe-in-the-woods routine and crying gets them a lot of mileage. Laws can’t be written to cover every possibility.