Better Together: The Dick and Maddox Man-Pack
According to Amazon.com, you should purchase my book Men Are Better Than Women and Maddox’s The Alphabet of Manliness together for maximum manjoyment.
I don’t know how Amazon.com decides which books to sell as a recommended two-pack, but I know a man designed it. That’s the only way I can explain the wave of competence responsible for the manlarious comedy Man-Pack pictured above.
But that’s not all.
Since I own and have enjoyed both of these books to their fullest, I’ve put together manstructions on how you can do the same.
Manstructions
Step 1. Purchase both books Manmediately. That means you should have already done it.
Step 2. Also purchase some leather straps. Note: not already having leather straps is a loss of 70 Man Points.
Step 3. Strap the books to your fists.
Step 4. Start punching fast and ferociously.
Step 5. Represent.
Step 6. Burn both books in case your friends want to manjoy them when you’re not around. Men don’t share. Note: make sure you use only the manliest of fire. Otherwise, neither book will burn.
Download a blank punch to do your own representing.
A list of Batman sound effects. I consulted this list when making the above graphics. Gracias, amigos.
Maddox If Batman was a secret identity, Maddox would be the superhero.
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March 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: fd5cd69179bd1
You’re living in a mantasy, Dick.
March 30th, 2008 at 3:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: a74c88570a16c
Gonna have to pre-order for the brilliance of the cover alone.
March 30th, 2008 at 3:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: bf1f8818f8ec7
I can’t possibly order another copy. I’ve already ordered 9.
March 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71fbcaf84e4ac
Let me say while funny, being punched in the face with your book is way too good for either Hillary or Oprah. and the fourth one is totally realistic, with the “He’s not actually going to hit me” look.
March 30th, 2008 at 7:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: c870300ff830a
Those are the funniest things I have ever seen.
DIE PARIS DIE! Muhahahaha!
March 30th, 2008 at 8:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 39feca89c2230
this site is the fucking truth
March 30th, 2008 at 9:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 67caec8fb3425
only a man would know about truth..
March 30th, 2008 at 10:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Going strong; unstoppable, not by manhole, not by PC, not by anyone! We play by THEIR rules, which they change every day of the week, and we just can’t stop winning! They’re so awful!
March 31st, 2008 at 2:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Both tomes should operate very effectively as the proverbial “two by four”.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 8eecef48b7f47
I have no interest in stopping them, I’m already a huge fan of Maddox.
@Doubt-any chance you can end your man-crush, or manfixation with me? Besides, I am a guy and it seems just a bit too gay. I mean you hate gayness, right?
March 31st, 2008 at 4:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
For a prostitute, she has a stick up her ass about faggots.
I can’t wait for her to get caught. Her new whore-persona will be ‘hamburger tits’ and she’ll lose about 6 months worth of shelf life.
I mean, it takes about 6 months for them to fuck flat one cup size, right? I don’t know how that works, I know the ones with the silicon tits - well, they just about have to carry around duct tape to seal their leaks. Of course, they’re going to die from that stuff but who gives a shit? They want to die anyways, so everybody wins!
March 31st, 2008 at 4:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Ha ha, white teenage girly-girls. Babies are less exploitable, and people look at you funny if you mistreat a child.
Manhole is on the bottom, Desire is on the top. Manhole and Desire are two different cocksuckers to prevent confusion.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 1719a03e51f72
Ask the school nurse two triple your dose of Ritalin today, young man. You seem very unsettled today…fixated on boob size. I guess you’ll fantasize about your french class teacher throwing her boobs in your face. Understandable, your in the wet-dream phase of young man maturation.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
She says I repeat myself. Isn’t she funny? Somebody throw a cigar ember in her face, the bitch has earned it.
Nobody can forget about her affinity for ACDC or her manly email address. What a bitch!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
‘Dick, Dick, tell them I’m a man. Dick, Dick, look at how manly my email address is. Dick, Dick, my favorite band is AC/DC, that makes me a man, right? Dick, help me, those men are making fun of me.’
I can’t believe there is some fetish where men enjoy giving money and time to that… thing. Oh, and she says prison rape is okay but voyeurism is not - her argument is that voyeurism is ‘immoral.’ She’s just so ridiculous when she’s angry, I like her.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 1a7e3d093b862
I like you too, Doubt :). I really hope this best for you. But do work on your math skills.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: fb1de3c77ad9c
I will most definitely support and order this man-pack later . :D
March 31st, 2008 at 1:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 088db11a9d986
what size is your dick?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 93b7be8b82f62
awesome, must be because i pre-ordered it or something in january that i”m getting dick’s book today, according to amazon. it going to be a pleasant monday evening reading session.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 51bab01b2c1fd
Excuse me please Mr. Doubt.
But AC/DC? C’mon now.
Now, not only is a muscle feminine and masculine but so is a band.
Hey, we should change the English language into the French language to allow everything to have masculine and feminine. Le and La.
Sure then men are smarter than women.
Hmm, but then women are changing the law to be feminine in Canada. The law will be a Le. (feminine)
I think the table is masculine. But the chair is feminine.
Oh no, that won’t do. Table and chairs go together.
C,mon guys you are smarter than the French. How do you propose to fix this.
Yeah, I have to agree that this site is a great way to get away from activism.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
No idea.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
http://youtube.com/watch?feature=user&v=eCBcv7YWlAA
‘12 - going on 21!’
I wonder if she’s learned that personality disorders are not a lifestyle… It’s like those strippers who define themselves as molested or rape victims - firstly, nobody gives a shit; secondly, nobody asked you; thirdly, that’s nothing to be proud of.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 35d1485e42ed6
I watched you on the DrPhil show… omfg all of you are so sad. You’re acting like we’re living in the 1400s oh GET REAL! And the most pathetic thing of all is that all of you “men” if we can even call you that are losers that are sooo fucked up that NO WOMAN would ever want you, so to bring up your selfesteem you need to go to this lame ass site to feel more like a man!
HAHAHAHA you are all so LAMEEEE!
grow upppp.
dick … you’re probably calling yourself that cuz you dont even have one and you need one somewhere on you!
P A T H E T I C assface.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
How are the burgers cookin’, today?
April 1st, 2008 at 12:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7d23fcc862e5
April 1st, 2008 at 12:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7d23fcc862e5
@ “me no have weewee”, “yomanhole” and all the other vacuous fabricators of inane ad hominem attacks go ahead and try switching back to Paris Hilton fan club website as you have nothing of substance or interest to men. I really must admit that your insightful intelligence does impress me.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7d23fcc862e5
The latter line regarding your insight and intelligence should be taken in the context of today’s date.
April 1st, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: f222465d9988a
Fuck everyone on this site
April 1st, 2008 at 6:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: f222465d9988a
Dick Masterson Loves Big Black Throbbing Cock!!!
April 1st, 2008 at 6:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: f222465d9988a
Fuck Dick Masterson. He obviously doesn’t get any pussy. FAGGOT!!!
April 1st, 2008 at 6:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: f222465d9988a
DOUBT…. can someone say FAG
April 1st, 2008 at 7:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
-Put a nipple on it.
Why do manholes fake orgasms?
-Because they think men care.
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
-None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/manholejokes.txt
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 175d8deab3408
With Pathetic Joke #29, you forgot to change “girl” to “manhole”, dumb-dumb.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 2be91c650a28b
I am feeling left out. Can someone please have a challenge at me.
I think women are smarter than men in some ways.
Think about this.
Men say they invent everything, right?
But then they also invent pollution and a hell of a lot of rubbish that is impossible almost to recycle. And the Indians in America for one are upset about their land being used to dump waste. If men are so great in inventing why haven’t they invented a way to make things more eco friendly? Why are women inventing better ways for men to invent that is also nature friendly?
Is it that women are having to fix men’s inventions so that they are better?
If so, then aren’t women better than men?
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
That was fucking boring.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Someone seems to have linked mabtw.com to the teenage mother support network. Time to piss off some feminists!
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Teen_mommy
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/1/1a/Prego.jpg
Have a nice life, prego.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am - IP Man-Hash: c7d23fcc862e5
Hey guys, wanna see something hilarious? Go to Drudge report site today and see link listed as “Scientists mix human and cow DNA in embryo…. hybrid species” and inadvertently? under this is a photo of Oprah. Priceless!. MABTW including Drudge.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 67caec8fb3425
Julie go back to AM
you’re not helping women look better here.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 829be8a41e45b
Julie quit your bitching. If you have a problem with men’s inventions that pollute you could always boycott those products by not using them. Think about getting through your day without products invented by men, that would be rich. Or better yet get off your fat ass and fix it your damn self.
-Solomon
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3a9cf95ea545
Ok, fair enough.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:02 am - IP Man-Hash: c5180117e9611
Holy fuck, you’re retarded. Nothing of what you just said many any sense, and you call him retarded? There’s so many logical fallacies (ad hominem) in your comment, yet you act in this condescending manner. That’s pathetic.
You’re just proving his point. WTF, did you even go to high school? Women like you shouldn’t be allowed to use the computer. Go back to the kitchen. I doubt you even know the most basic woman functions anyways.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:13 am - IP Man-Hash: c5180117e9611
This made me laugh so hard. Women like you would use tampons made of Indian hair because it’s “natural”.
Men didn’t “invent” pollution. That’s a waste from industrial activity that makes life a lot easier for bitches like you. Anyways, who the hell said that women are in charge of “fixing” men inventions? Women who “invent” “nature friendly” things are just scams (see my comment about Indian Hair tampons).
Men in the other hand, actually are leading research on universities for real solutions. Think about that research lead by men to find an alternate energy source from derivatives of carbon meant to substitute petroleum. Yet unfortunately, everything will be denied by the government due to economic ties.
Read a fucking book before you talk. By the way, last time a checked, the only eco-friendly politician was a male. Isn’t he called “Al-Gore?”
April 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 214248d76769f
I have to say, you fucking rock! I love your ideas, it’s just sad in todays screwed up society we can’t carry them out. BTW, you totally owned that woman on Dr. Phill, the reaction on her face when you told her to hit the treadmill was priceless. If she shat a dictionary out at that exact moment you couldn’t have gotten a single word out of her.
April 7th, 2008 at 5:54 am - IP Man-Hash: a8b9a32977ad5
Dick Masterson is a hoax
April 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: aa8c1ef1fbe18
Hey pal, who are you gonna vote for? Whos’s the manliest candidate?
Barack Obama, MCain, Chris Dodd or Neither?
April 8th, 2008 at 9:06 am - IP Man-Hash: e774473f18f53
You lie, Dick obviously has girls smearing their greasy fish cunts all over him. He’s just not pussy-whipped. He tells it as it is.
April 8th, 2008 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 642d1a3e1742d
You’s so funny. Do you really expect that people will take you seriously?
I guess that you can’t get the women you want, because you’re to ugly.
And why the hell do you wear sunglasses when there’s no sun shining?
April 8th, 2008 at 11:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 25c303790cc4d
Oh, you and Maddox are the same guy. I get it now. I thought your writing styles were similar.
April 9th, 2008 at 1:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: d099103efe0fb
theres some good valid points. NOT. wtf r u thinking? i can’t think of a single thing that women invented. or fixed. or changed. or adapted.
and women fix men’s inventions?
And all the pollution comes from fucking whores spending the money men earned on fucking products and fucking throwing them away such as tampons//sanitary napkins/shampoos and conditioners/ perfumes.
Do you have any idea how much pollution comes from making fucking perfume? and the whore paris hilton has like 3. women fucking cause pollution.
FUCK YOU.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 416aa8dd410e6
Seriously men who don’t like/love women are GAY! Really their is no other explanation! Of course this site is ran by a white man, who have already RUINED half the world!
April 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 4969cee27cf6d
The Reason they are bundled like that is because that someone bought that with your book, causing it to be bundled due to the extreme similarities to both books.
April 13th, 2008 at 1:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1f91f5a0cb20d
oii dick. let’s think big. what does an organization or a concept need in order to be public? it needs acceptance. and who is gonna advocate that acceptance? famous people. do you think celebrities or politicians will advocate this idea with you? no. coz that is just gonna affect their reputation. that is just gonna decrease their preferences in people’s eyes. so this can’t go far. your “men are better than women” theory will not go far.
so just stop now, bfeore you realize afterall this thing you’ve done you’re just a naive frog stuck on the bottom of a well.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 33fbfc47de047
Obviously you’re just so stupid that you don’t get what Dick is trying to do here. Another reason men are better than women.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1ee2eb8e3cf7
you are the most useless piece of shit on this planet. I hope you have fun sticking your penis into bums all day long you fucking low piece of shit. You wouldnt be on this earth unless you came out of a vagina and I feel sorry for anyone that has ever crossed paths with someone as low and worthless as you, go suck a dick. ps your the ugliest thing ive ever seen, transvestite is that why you cover up your face?
DIE
April 21st, 2008 at 5:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 048feb320cb7d
No you dumb bitch, he wouldn’t be in this world if his dad didn’t in pregnant his mother.
Contrary to feminist belief, you women are not asexual.
Remember you start off in nut shack, only to use the female as incubator.
The rest of your post is just incoherent and almost impossible to read.
Get back in fucking kitchen, nobody said you can fucking talk.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:51 am - IP Man-Hash: e914092dfbd82
Holy shit, all of you are stupid as hell for taking this too seriously.
It’s all a joke. The book was written as humor. Think about it. Dick Masterson? Too convenient.
It’s satire. Learn it. Dick is a character (who makes a world of sense, by the way. I mean seriously… all of these women are stupid enough to think he’s real.)
lrn2satire
June 18th, 2008 at 6:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 18087a5623cca
Dearest Jenny, lrn2fuckoff.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 53c465a058eb2
Gay man don’t like women of all kinds. We men here just like all other men everywhere, anytime, we like women, and we not only don’t like cunts but we vomit about cunts. Do you know what is the difference between a woman and a cunt?
June 18th, 2008 at 7:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 980affc676c88
Wrong. Fuck, you’re stupid.
Men who don’t -> FUCK > Men are not required to LIKE or LOVE women.
GET IT????????? So you can stop pretending.
You know how many women I have banged who I couldn’t wait to get rid of?? And it’s exactly because men are not required to like/love them that I am doing very well for myself.
You cunts work extremely hard to make it IMPOSSIBLE for men to like/love you.
That doesn’t make a Man “gay”.
That makes you not worth a man’s time.
If Men don’t like (or love) you , sweety . .. . its not THEIR fuckin’ problem.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 980affc676c88
Wrong. Fuck, you’re stupid.
Men who don’t FUCK women - are gay.
Men are not required to LIKE or LOVE women.
GET IT????????? So you can stop pretending.
You know how many women I have banged who I couldn’t wait to get rid of?? And it’s exactly because men are not required to like/love them that I am doing very well for myself.
You cunts work extremely hard to make it IMPOSSIBLE for men to like/love you.
That doesn’t make a Man “gay”.
That makes you not worth a man’s time.
If Men don’t like (or love) you , sweety . .. . its not THEIR fuckin’ problem.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 53c465a058eb2
yap, so true, so true, cunts work so damn hard to make it impossible for men to like them. The funny- sad part is that cunts while finding themselves to be cunts want to teach other women how to be cunts too deceiving them they will benefit from that “knowledge”. That’s why cunts are so pissed when women lough in their faces, also on this site and say in a nice womanly way; fuck off cunts!!!
June 18th, 2008 at 8:05 am -