85 Responses to “Dick’s Voicemail #4”

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1. Martin from BK Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 7:34 am - IP Man-Hash: a3564d75aa2ef

   great stuff as usual dick, keep up the amazing work…

   p.s. good to know you watch south park lol

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2. redkal Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 8:18 am - IP Man-Hash: d05ac3852e339

   These are completely awesome.

   You aren’t my buddy… friend. Just watched that episode last night - hilarious!

   Keep up the good work.

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3. Dr. Phil Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 9:34 am - IP Man-Hash: e1caec5062137

   Seen this shit yet, Dick?

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx_WKxqQF2o

   Women in a nutshell, youtubeshell, whatever, doing whatever they can to get that $.

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4. studioline Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 10:22 am - IP Man-Hash: d67595af8af5f

   Dr Phil

   This was the most scarry horror movie I have ever seen.

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5. Mik3_D Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 10:28 am - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85

   studioline said:

   Interesting

   The only woman who is happy, trully fullfiled and has a great man is the one who agree with you.
   And that’s a puzzle most women can’t resolve.

   Well if they can’t even figure out how to troubleshoot a toaster then they’re pretty much fucked on figuring out the rest of life’s mysteries on their own.

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6. Stuffgirlslike Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 12:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5065a63e4afae

   It is an act women, do not fall of his act. He is a self publicist and he is using the Muhammed Ali act.

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7. Mayor of Whoreville Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 12:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7fb913ec99da8

   Nice South Park reference Dick. The best one is the girl who says “Oh yeah, if men are better than women, why don’t you try having a period every month!”

   So a disgusting bodily function proves that women are better than men? If anything, bleeding out eggs in your underwear should further prove that god hates you.

   She couldn’t rely on anything like, we invented the telephone, the airplane, the cell phone, the television, the fax, the internal combustion engine, the internet…. no, because those things were done by men. She had to rely on disgusting, underwear ruining, bodily functions. Maybe Einstein should have been less focused on defining the laws that govern our entire universe and more in to fart contests with Phillip Frank to see who could leave the nastiest skid mark. This girl seems to think that would be a more impressive feat.

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8. Solomon Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 12:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 829be8a41e45b

   Dr. Phil, at least there was a prenup. All women are exactly like her though, so if you ignore everything Dick says hold to this one:

   DON”T GET FUCKING MARRIED

   -Solomon

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9. erik Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 4:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 878fe01a8412a

   can’t wait for the live dickline to be opened on the 18th. TOMORROW! live ownage with the one and only legend.

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10. brandon Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6a619dd5d3c9e

    I find it disturbing, that all of you have this distaste and sense of superiority over the females in your life. I dont want to judge or make an assumption, but what did your mother or ex girlfriend do to you that has created this horrible monster that you call yourself? All people are equal, women are not breeding machines meant for the male to dispose of after use. Women are people, they are you and me, in fact you would not be here without a woman. I am a man, I understand the idea’s you place before me, but I can not justify your reasoning. Men may have invented the phone, or the press machine, but why? Those inventors lived in a time that believed women were nothing more than dishwashers and breeders. I feel that you are afraid that women could possibly be equals, the same fear existed in Germany with the Jews, and with Whites against Blacks in the United States. You, my fellow men, dissapoint me. The ability to to view others equally is a gift, I hope you can one day see others through equal eyes.

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11. koldking Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 5:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: bc7fd969bd3f8

    LOL IM NOT UR BUDDY FRIEND

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12. Haha Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 7:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 53017d7fbf52c

    Hey Brandon,

    Is there any reason why your writing is so soft? I mean really soft; as if you were a girl/woman.

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13. Doubt Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 8:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28

    manhole said:
    [TL;DR]

    Ye who plead for the poor, and take money at their hands.
    Ye manholes, ye advocates, be sure of this:
    When ye draw near to death, and pray for pardon,
    Your pardon at your parting hence will be but small.
    Saint Matthew bids me tell you this, and if I lie, blame him.

    [Quote]
14. Kai Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 912dbefb3746d

    I’ve noticed a sudden drop-off of the hateful women posters since the voice mail segments started. I wonder if pausing to listen to the soft-boiled retardation spilling from the mouths of their sisters and sex-slaves shames them into silence?

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15. A Soldier Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 048feb320cb7d

    Great Job Dick, you’re a God.

    Oh yeah, “I’m not your buddy, friend”

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16. Arbalest Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29b48487587c8

    Kai said:

    I’ve noticed a sudden drop-off of the hateful women posters since the voice mail segments started. I wonder if pausing to listen to the soft-boiled retardation spilling from the mouths of their sisters and sex-slaves shames them into silence?

    Of course not, women have no shame.

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17. Loweeel Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 9:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: e8f1274b78768

    South Park quote = pure brilliance. Rock on, Dick!

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18. Fuzz Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 10:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 16e9bf5e061fd

    Dick, you said women are better than men at sucking dick, but I’m fairly certain men take the cake on that one. Who teaches women how to do this? Gay men.

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19. Chelsea Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 11:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 28a0f6b00da6e

    I’m a woman who received my M.D. from the University of Michigan last year. I’m a single (meaning not married, but I have a boyfriend) doctor who makes payments for my house with my own money. I’m currently learning my specialization, cardiovascular surgery. I would be very shocked if any of you men who praise this idiot are half as accomplished.

    I love how there are tons of completely stupid voicemails from men, such as: “When has a woman ever done an experiment ever?” that Dick treats with such respect, despite the fact that you’d have to be a complete moron to not know that women have contributed tons to the medical field and sciences in general.

    Then he goes on to directly contradict himself. A girl calls in and says he doesn’t have enough money for her to date him, and he calls her a prostitute and says girls only date money. Then another woman calls in and says she raised her kids on her own because the father was a broke loser, and he mocks her for not dating a rich man. You have to pick a side, needle-dick, you can’t think both situations are the worst example.

    It’s pretty obvious that you men who join in on this idiocy are too stupid to attract decent women. Even ugly guys can get nice girls, so it must be your horrendous possibility. You can only draw in women to use you for money. The good girlfriends will always ignore you.

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20. Chelsea Says:
    April 16th, 2008 at 11:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 28a0f6b00da6e

    “Scenario two is that the next two words are “don’t think…” in which case she should just stop right there because that’s about as acurate as a lady-type can get.”

    By the way, I love this one (taken directly from the FAQ section). Dick insults womens’ intelligence and then immediately misspells “accurate”. Dumbass.

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