Men - Never marry a woman (a longtime solution to a temporary problem) travel with a woman ( on a business trip once the Co. stupidly sent a women along with me. She completely screwed up the rental car arrangements and missed a connecting flight while I had a smoke. After that I just ditched her. It was worth getting fired for. Talk about beyond redundant and useless) and for God’s sake Don’t EVER share your wealth or your property with a woman.
I’ve been divorced for 10 years and serial monogamy is the only way to go. As soon as she starts in with talk about our ‘relationship’ Game Over. I dump the bitch.
As soon as she starts expecting ‘attention’ other than being kind to her and having sex with her and wants gifts - Game Over. Dump the bitch.
Same with her finding creative ways to spend my time and money. Game Over.
Believe you me, at my age the world is SWIMMING with still attractive women who are hornier than a fluffer in a Seka movie.
All you men have to do is stay single until at least your mid-’30’s and then Let The Games Begin.
After that, free whores and watching the real life misery of your married friends should be enough to keep you unmarried and happy for life.
There’s just nothing like a horned-up MILF sucking her thumb and calling you Daddy.

whiskeytits said:

This is goddamn fine entertainment.

And yeah, I have a vagina.

Apparently you have tits too.

-Dick

Ryan said:

I would like Nicole, Female, Claire, et al. to come out of the woodwork and defend that women in that last story of this voice-mail. I would love to hear what they have to say about that…

Let me do that for you: “liek omg it’s teh hiz faultz for havingz teh phallus and not keepingz teh woman sastifiedly good lolololol11!!!!1111!!!!fag”

Within 24 hours of this we’ll have three of them. Watch.

Dick, you’re fucking brilliant. You have over 100 comments on almost every blog entry, over a million hits on your website, talk show appearances, radio spots… and a whole bevy of inflamed, offended women shaking their angry little fists like it’s going to change something. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, including you (and that whole slew of uppity chicks), and nothing will ever change that. Keep up the good work, Dick. This is goddamn fine entertainment.

And yeah, I have a vagina.

That last story was horrifying. Props to the dude, I hope he kept it together during what must have been an insane time of his life.

I would like Nicole, Female, Claire, et al. to come out of the woodwork and defend that women in that last story of this voice-mail. I would love to hear what they have to say about that…

manhole said:

[TL;DR]

What the fuck is she talking about?

http://southernstudies.org/facingsouth/2008/04/facing-south-exclusive- dc-nonprofit.asp

Michael said:

Each signed book comes with a limited edition 8×10 of yours truly.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL goddamn you are one big fucking attention whore, aint ya.

It’s reasonable to assume that anyone who would go out of their way to obtain a signed copy of my book would appreciate a value add.

-Dick

so what’s the next voicemail topic?

That guy from Ontario should get together with the other fella that got swindled out of the abortion money and sue the damn whore. If that doesnt fly then become pals with some huge butch dyke, tell her the story and get her to hang a licking on that miserable douche. No pun intended.

If I was capable of crying instead of getting shit done I’d shed a tear for that guy. And he is no anomaly. This shit happens all the fucking time. (Never ever)X10exp100 give a woman money.

Michael said:

Each signed book comes with a limited edition 8×10 of yours truly.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL goddamn you are one big fucking attention whore, aint ya.

The man has a right to be. He’s got a book which he is selling as well as a website for all men to view. He has money rolling in and a legion of fans who respect not only him but the words that he speaks. Nothing wrong with that is there?

How many of us here can actually say we are getting paid doing what we like to do, or rather, getting paid for telling the truth? Give the man a cigar and a pat on the back.

I’m really enjoying these voice mails, especially when a vast majority of the women who call up prove Dick’s words to be true time and time again.

I feel sorry for the man at the end who had to deal with the bitch of a woman who had the abortion. Since when the hell did women all of a sudden get all the rights for a child? It takes two people to bring a child into the world, and to have a woman practically scream out ‘It’s MY body, I do what I WANT!’ is nothing short of ignorant, arrogant and down-right selfish.

Cuddos to the man for dumping the bitch.

That story at the end was totally fucked. What’s worse is he knew her for 7 years, and even after she got rid of the baby she still lied. And women wonder why there’s a marriage strike.

Each signed book comes with a limited edition 8×10 of yours truly.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL goddamn you are one big fucking attention whore, aint ya.