Dick’s Week of Honorary Men: Part 1
The MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for August in the year of 2006 is a site visitor by the name of Jenny who knows better than to be on this site in the first place and also sent me this:
I’m a women and I agree with you. In fact I’m using a dictionary right now while I’m typing and I’m also using a typing program with automatic spell check to type everything out before I paste it into that little message box thingy[sic] and click submit. That’s the extent of my computer knowledge right there. I don’t think I even learned a thing past 4th grade, I have three little tiny fluff dogs all wearing pink jewel crusted collars with matching leashes. I wear school girl uniforms on a daily basis and like to pretend I’m dumber then I really am. I spend much of my time watching reality T.V shoes[sic], soap operas, reading fashion magazines like Seventeen and running on my treadmill. I don’t have a job and I live with my parents. I guess though you could say my job is looking cute…I think the only thing I could ever do is cook, clean, and help populate the species. That’s what we were put on this earth to do right? And wasn’t there something in the bill of writes[sic] or the constitution about all men are equal or something or other?
Anyway, like my point is I totally agree with you.
I apologize for the length and generally incompetence of that text, but it’s better you hear that kind of comment from the horses mouth — no matter how mutton-fisted her hooves are.
I don’t know Jenny’s last name and I don’t care. It’s best never to learn the last names of women because it can only come back to bite you in the man ass. Besides, women will all eventually change their last names anyway, just as they should, so what’s the point of learning a bunch of obsolete shit. And if they don’t, it wasn’t worth knowing their first names anyway so fuck it.
I realize I missed crowning an Honorary Man of the Month in August (this being September) and I absolutely don’t care. I’m a man so I don’t concern myself with dates of this and that. Unless it has to do with money or lateness. I think you know what I’m talking about.
That’s why I’m naming Jenny the MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for August. Way to go Jenny. You are a proud member of Jenny’s before you. Jenny Craig, who said to fat women: enough is enough you fucking cows! Stop eating! Jenny McCarthy, who shuts the fuck up because Jim Carrey tells her to. Check that out on the web, it’s absolutely true. And how could I forget Richard Jeni, who is a man and therefore has accomplished way more than any other woman ever has dreamed because of his man brain and also his penis.
Some of you may be surprised at my posting of Jenny’s email. Like most women she is completely unable to control her tone and comes off as a violent misogynist in her confession. Misogyny — the hate of women — has no place in the world and especially no place on this site.
Why then would I post this horribly misogynistic letter?
I’ve done so because despite her gender-related shortcomings, Jenny has exhibited one of the manliest traits there is: the ability to recognize your purpose and to stick to it like man glue to fly paper — like man possessed. Jenny knows that as a woman she isn’t destined for such man things as science and math and the doing and making of things with other things. Fuck no. As she puts it, her job is “looking cute” so that’s what she focuses on.
I applaud Jenny for succeeding where all women fail (something else that’s very manly), by taking a good hard look in the mirror and deciding to do it more often. The truth sucks ladies, and so do you.
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NO MA’AM!
Just when the men of this club “that I called testicles” are not enough for dick, he just called a girl to be the MEN of the month…. BIG LOL.. way to go Mr. DICK…
and how old is this girl? How can she say that a guy with old fashion sunglasses has the absolute truth???… I have never said Dick’s is telling lies.. I just think he is overreacting the truth about girls. like a bunch of cheerleaders are overreaction about the virginity of another girl most beautiful..
Anyway,, I just feel pity about the testicles that are paying for the book , and paying to belong to this group that reminds me the guy of ‘”married with children”.. yea.. AL BUNDY !!! way to go…
“And wasn’t there something in the bill of writes[sic] or the constitution about all men are equal or something or other?”
all men are indeed equal, however women are not and will never be men.
Something tells me this letter was not a woman, but a man writing the letter who wishes a woman wrote the letter as to indicate that there are women so subserviant that they would write this letter.
Get it?
Jeez. Sorry you got dumped.
Ever heard of irony, anyone?
Well, way to go Jenny. You clearly proved those “persons” here are nowhere near as dumb as anyone would think they are. And by “persons”, I do not mean “human beeings” in any way, since that would imply the ability to think or the use of commen sense.
I apologize in advance for made mistakes in language, english isn’t my mother tongue so there. As if you would even notice them.
Dick you are a hero to mankind! I cant believe your site got banned because of some womans feelings when theirs so many other sites of feminist bashing men. In this world its ok to bash men and get away with it blaming men. Its ok to cheat and blame him. Its ok to have his and your baby and milk you for money when she gets a divorce. Its ok for for a woman to lie, and manipulate men with sex, for personal gain sometimes explicitly money! But its not ok for a man to make a site that exposes these cruel women for their actions. All the women on here make terrible fowl language because they feel as though they are in a placement of power. They want to protect it by screwing life up for a gentleman that treated her good for a jerk with attitude or money. Ofcourse women will never accept responsibility for anything, a man will have to be MAN enough to either put her in her place, or put up with it for the benefit of his kids or others. Men have died thousands of years for women to have good lives. I dont believe raping a woman is right, or making her raise a child alone is. BUT i dont agree with the gentleman that impregnated her to work hard weeks, and working his ass off at the house to help her and her feeling more entitled because of the treatment. Ive seen women dump kids off to men also and leave. Women cant have everything their way if they want a man to help them raise the kids they damn better do their part and not live lavish lives or BITCH about it!
This is also clearly another attempt, albeit a sad one, at trying to manipulate us men which is what women do -alot-.
Good point, Serp.
-Dick
Jenny will achieve more than the feminists though. In the end a feminist wants to sucker a rich guy into marriage, but by the time she tries she’s old and used up. Jenny will probably marry a guy making 6 figures in her late teens/early 20s. Since she already has a good attitude, chances are this guy probably won’t ask very much of her, just that she puts out and can take care of the kids. She will live the easy care-free life that most women before feminism used to live. A woman can’t compete intellectually with a man, so why try? The only reason most men work hard is because of their protective, providing instinct. A man needs very few material resources to live a happy life. A man only gathers more than he needs when he wishes to provide for a female. Feminist women do not reciprocate, so a man that chooses a feminist is not really a man at all. Real men seek Jenny-like females.
Dick Said
If a Jenny was going to amount to anything, it would be because of a man.
And generally a relative.
-Big Al
thats the spirit sandra
How very receptive of you. Almost as perceptive.
you are all so intelligent.
ACK! I see an error!
‘here wares’ is supposed to read ‘her wares’
Yup. She’s her own public access point.
She is probably taking a break from updating her myspace profile (and we all know what type of females myspace is full of). I guess business is going a bit slow for her, so now she’s gonna try to peddle here wares here.
Are you at at a public access point?
Yeah? How many?
farthest thing from funny ive ever read, thanks
Yeah? How many?
Like waking up from the dream into the nightmare of realizing she has the same last name as yourself. You find out somewhere back in that drunken dream-state you married her.
antifreke, you should be receiving a fat stack of cards in the mail any day. I also threw in something I had lying around. Let me know how you like the new designs in the Man Forums.
-Dick
lmao.. Dick.. you are GOD..
Ive been away with school for a while, but im back now… and this is a good way to kick off the return..
Good point, Jimmy. That’s why she’s only an honorary man.
-Dick
However advanced this woman might be for realizing her place on this earth, she is still a woman, and therefore still vulnerable to fallibility: she writes that she “pretends” to be dumber than she actually is. No matter how hard they try, they just can’t be 100 percent honest with themselves. It makes me sad because this one was so close. Does anyone think it could ever happen?
Some women long ago could cook good.
It is so nice to see a woman who isn’t in denial like most women.
I have something to say to dear Jenny:
Jenny, women suck at cooking. If that’s one of the only things you do…sheesh.
Good post, Dick Man
Classic:
Unfortunately I have a headache from all the laughs I got from that one.