The Disney Princesses Are Whores

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Little boys have fantastic role models — the best in the world actually. Steve McQueen, Ty Cobb, Hercules “Rowdy” Roddy Piper; all of them great men of integrity and dignity. And that’s exactly what the little boys who worship them become: great men of integrity and dignity.

Indiana Jones never aborted anything because he couldn’t hold a job that paid more than minimum wage. What would they call that installment exactly? Indiana Jones in the Welfare Miscarriage.

That would be a short fucking movie.

Women have horrible role models. One of their biggest is Paris Hilton believe it or not. She teaches them that drunk driving isn’t as dangerous as everyone says, racism is okay as long as you don’t think the camera is on, and blowjobs will make you famous.

The odds of a blowjob making you famous are like a trillion to one. Bad role model.

Women are likewise obsessed with the Disney Princesses. Sleeping Beauty is their John McClane, and Tinkerbelle is their Nicolas Cage. Disney’s stable of Princesses generate over 3 billion dollars a year in lunch pails, shitty coloring books, and Cinderella outfits that a woman I took to Disneyland one time wouldn’t try on because the biggest size they had was “youth medium”.

Well no shit the biggest size they have is a “youth medium”. Princesses are supposed to hit a treadmill every now and again.

Snow White

Snow White is exactly what happened to women.

At some point in history, women were all perfectly happy living perfectly fantastic lives with perfectly reasonable responsibilities: clean, cook, shut the fuck up. Then a bitter old hag (Mary Wollstonecraft) came along and shoved an apple poisoned with equality down their throats. In the Disney movie, a man comes along and wakes Snow White up from her silly and stupid dreams using some magic pills a wizard gave him or something. I don’t remember the movie because I haven’t seen it since I accidentally watched it at a dentist’s office about a decade ago. I preferred the drill. The point is, in real life, women didn’t wake up. Their mindless sleep turned into nightmares of worthless degrees, “business cleavage”, and reports they could barely hold right-side up let alone understand.

Cinderella

Oh boy, was she a whore. What women who worship Cinderella don’t realize is that they’re actually worshiping the shame they have for their perverted sexual fantasies. Cinderella wasn’t running away from a prince at midnight because she was poor. What woman gives a fuck about being poor? They all spend money they don’t have anyway. You can’t be poor when someone’s always willing to credit your ass.

Cinderella was running away because midnight marks the beginning of “business time”, and that meant her crude, womanly desires for sexual satisfaction were about to take hold of her mind like the jaws of a dead rat. Ever met a woman who’s favorite position isn’t doggy style? I rest my case.

A woman being poor is like secretly replacing her birth control with Spanish Fly. Every guy with two nickels to rub together turns her into Lady Godiva. Why isn’t Lady Godiva a Disney Princess? Is she not enough of a whore?

Sleeping Beauty

This one is goldbricking par excellence. I don’t remember the guy’s name from this movie, but if I had to guess, it would be Prince Who Has a Dick And Went Through a Lot of Bullshit To Get Here Today. No woman can make it past the age of five without learning that lesson and this Disney princess is why.

Slaying a dragon can eat a dick. In some parts of the world, women will fuck you for helping her move a sofa. These parts of the world are found anywhere not covered in water.

The One From Beauty and the Beast

Teaching young girls that looks don’t matter and that personality does, is basically teaching them that looks don’t matter and that money does. What’s on the inside counts? Bullshit. What’s on the inside of his wallet you mean. If that ugly fucking baboon didn’t have a castle and talking flatware, a Disney “princess” would not have given a shit about getting to know his furry ass.

That’s the definition of a whore.

Ariel

Nice sea shells by the sea shore. It’s obvious to me that all women from 12-15 are taking life lessons from The Little Mermaid. Those lessons are: dress as provocatively as possible and while doing so, sink your father into so much fucking debt with your bullshit delusions you call “dreams”, he has to sell his soul to haul you out. In real life, the IRS is an evil half-woman, half-octopus with ten million tentacles and the voice of a drag queen.

Men are better than women.

Jasmine

When I saw the adverts for this film, I remember thinking to myself, “Jesus, that cartoon is wearing lingerie.”

You can buy that lingerie at Disneyland. However, it only comes in a “youth medium”.

Pocahontas

The real tale of Pocahontas is one rich in pedophilia. That may be okay for women and their lack of morality, but as a man, pedophilia is something I’m dead-set against.

When I saw Rocky for the first time, I went home and started training to become a boxer. I did the same thing when I saw Turner and Hooch. Thank God little girls are too fucking dumb to use the internet. If they weren’t, they’d hop off the couch after a viewing of their favorite Pocahontas DVD only to read a sordid tale of pedophilia and Indian Slavery. Nice job, moms. Next time just pop in the directors cut of Eraserhead. At least that movie doesn’t get any more gruesome.

Mulan

Mulan was about a girl who joined the army. I can’t think of a worse role model for little girls. If I had a daughter, I would rather her watch the E! True Hollywood Story of Jenna Jameson than get the wacky idea she should be joining the armed forces at any point. I don’t care how many ethnically stereotypical magical dragons she has on her side, a woman in the army always does more harm than good — and usually does more troops than harm.

The Frog Princess, AKA The Black One

What does Disney’s new black princess hope to teach? That being black makes you a princess? I’m pretty fucking sure black women already got that memo.

Tinkerbelle

I knew a girl in high school who had a Tinkerbelle tattoo. Last I heard, she had Herpes and two kids. I have no idea in what order they came, but I do know that the Tinkerbelle tattoo came first.

Alice in Wonderland

Alice is not a Disney princess and the reason why will shock the shit out of you.

Alice is a man.

Alice is a man like Wonderland is women. Jowly leviathan’s threatening to chop off your body parts because you won’t play their bullshit games, completely insane fuckheads celebrating nothing and making no goddamn sense no matter what they say or what you ask them, disappearing assholes with upside down smiley faces and broom-headed pricks coming along at any moment and erasing the path you were taking; I couldn’t imagine a more fitting description for women and their constant tyranny of nonsense and childish, short-sighted sadism. Lewis Carrol was thinking exactly that when he wrote Alice in Wonderland in the 1800’s.

If I had a daughter, I would never force this kind of saccharine bone meal down her throat. My rumpus room DVD player would play only hours of recorded Dr. Laura broadcasts and the episode of Star Trek when Kirk kissed Ohuru.

Men are better than women.

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73 Responses to “The Disney Princesses Are Whores”

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  1. Female Says:

    I’m guessing this attack Disney post is part of a boycott because Disney funds Planned Parenthood, an organisation that allows abortions? I didn’t realise you were a member of Life Decisions International, Dick. Perhaps you should make your political agenda a little clearer, though I guess it is there for those who care to see.

    Indiana Jones never aborted anything because he couldn’t hold a job that paid more than minimum wage. What would they call that installment exactly? Indiana Jones in the Welfare Miscarriage.

  2. Savant Says:

    @Female…Why should he make his political agenda clearer? His political stance on abortion has nothing to do with what he wrote. He was talking about disney characters being poor role models.

    Now that we’re on the subject… as far as abortion goes, I’m pro-abortion. Unfortunatly, trying to abort an 18-23 year old baby IS considered murder worldwide, so I guess that’s out. My stance is technically pro-choice, but even I realize that the whole abortion thing would never have even been brought up if women we’re smart enough to take appropriate precautions.

    Before you say a thing by the way, I understand mitigating circumstances like rape. Hence the “pro-choice”.

  3. Savant Says:

    And once again, before you say anything, ladies, remember: I’m generalizing on the abortion subject. It’s innopropriate and impolite to throw in countless pages of info and opinions when it’s not your webpage.

  4. sonyad Says:

    Female said:
    I’m guessing this attack Disney post is part of a boycott because Disney funds Planned Parenthood, an organisation that allows abortions? I didn’t realise you were a member of Life Decisions International, Dick. Perhaps you should make your political agenda a little clearer, though I guess it is there for those who care to see.

    Behold thy future, feminist:

    Google Cache

    I am having similar issues with the male person I brought into this world. He was also the more sensitive and compassionate of my children and I hate to say it, but in many ways my “favourite.”

    [...]

    But he is not and the way he treats his girlfriend, his sister, his grandmother, and myself make me hate myself for not pouring him down the sink at Planned Parenthood or grabbing a rusty coathanger and doing the job myself even if it killed me.

    Clearly, men are better than women.

  5. Female Says:

    Sonyad, I don’t think so. The woman is too hardcore, even for me.

  6. diamatik Says:

    Such a typical (and not atypical) feminist.

  7. Necroswordsman Says:

    What the fuck? Dick’s article is about Disney princesses being whores. How the hell did it become something about abortion?

    Female, shut the fuck up if you can’t say anything clever.

  8. Chris Says:

    Necroswordsman said:

    What the fuck? Dick’s article is about Disney princesses being whores. How the hell did it become something about abortion?

    Female, shut the fuck up if you can’t say anything clever.

    Well, that’s the whole point, no?

  9. Necroswordsman Says:

    Chris said:

    Well, that’s the whole point, no?

    The whole point is to just talk about the article. Dick has one on abortion too.

  10. Doubt Says:

    As a radical feminist who puts women first[...]

    So this is what we’re going against? Sluts who bitch about aborting their own children because they dare to show any male traits? Who force them to recite feminist propaganda?
    This has to be the only large-scale good versus evil, pure versus tainted struggles I’ve seen in my life. Feminists are disgusting, and sluts dare to even raise their voice against us. I never knew that this was actually what a majority of girls held true - no wonder I don’t have any rights! I can’t even look at a nice set of tits which some prude-slut brandishes right in my face! Never again will I pity a woman, domestic or foreign, who faces a situation with a logical, conclusive solution. It’s your problem now, slut.

  11. Kimi Says:

    You are a fucking moron.

  12. e v i l e d d y Says:

    Your cunt smells like the beach vomited.

  13. Billy Says:

    rofl

  14. Billy Says:

    She probably looks like a beach whale too!

  15. Necroswordsman Says:

    Kimi said:

    You are a fucking moron.

    I agree. You are.

  16. Miguel Reyes Says:

    OUT-FUCKIN-STANDING Dick! It was hysterical being as my daughter unfortunately lives with her “Disney-Princess” Mom who, like the whores that the disney princesses are, lives off of welfare, my child-support, her pussy-ass husband and no less her Mom who taught her to be the Gold digging whore that she is. Happy end to that story was as soon as I kicked the money grubbing whore to the side I rocketed into the best I.T. jobs of my life. Luckily, I’m slowly turning my daughter into what otherwise would be a mirror image of her Grandma and Mother who as stated above are money-grubbing whores. Incidentally, Disney isn’t at all what it used to be. With the majority of the women that work there being sluts (I know from personal experience), dykes and feminists who run disneyland like it’s the “happiest place on earth” when instead they (like all the creepy villians in the cartoons) run the place like it’s a child-labor shoe-factory in Malaysia working poor college students 14 hour days and paying them nickels and dimes. I had the displeasure of working for these cunts for a mere 3 months many years back and got fired for doing my active duty training in Pendleton every two weeks by a dyke cunt who looked like a fuckin Walrus. Looking forward to next week’s posting!

    - Sgt. Reyes

  17. J Says:

    Why are women you’d like to fuck “whores,” “cunts,” or “sluts,” and women you don’t want to fuck “dykes,” “lezbos,” and “feminists”? Isn’t there anything inbetween a brainless fuck-toy you’d have to pay to lay and a hairy-pitted bra-burner that wouldn’t give you the time of day?

    Obviously, you haven’t been out of your basement in a while. I’ll ask your mom to unlock the door.

  18. son of the suns Says:

    J just fuck off and kill yourself.

    Your little fucking gutter mouth and impotent intelligence isn’t going to save or convert any one here, just cement their hate.

  19. Miguel Reyes Says:

    J said:

    Why are women you’d like to fuck “whores,” “cunts,” or “sluts,” and women you don’t want to fuck “dykes,” “lezbos,” and “feminists”? Isn’t there anything inbetween a brainless fuck-toy you’d have to pay to lay and a hairy-pitted bra-burner that wouldn’t give you the time of day?

    Obviously, you haven’t been out of your basement in a while. I’ll ask your mom to unlock the door.

    I don’t even allow J to cement anything. My mother hasn’t been near me since I was 16 I joined the Marines when I was 17. As for me getting laid? I don’t think I even need to comment on that since it’s fucking daily. I’m lucky I have women around that know how to shut the fuck up which obviously you don’t. Your lack of intelligence is would best be displayed on “Are you smarter than a 1st grader” a new show I’m sure you will find will send you running back to school. I hear they even have tests on how to give the right answer in the kindergarten library. Go there please start from scratch then come back to this site when you’ve got something better to do then amaze us all with your stupidity.

  20. KellyMac Says:

    J said:

    Why are women you’d like to fuck “whores,” “cunts,” or “sluts,” and women you don’t want to fuck “dykes,” “lezbos,” and “feminists”? Isn’t there anything inbetween a brainless fuck-toy you’d have to pay to lay and a hairy-pitted bra-burner that wouldn’t give you the time of day?

    Obviously, you haven’t been out of your basement in a while. I’ll ask your mom to unlock the door.

    Hey! You’re a poet and didn’t know it!

    Sorry, did you have a point?

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