Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
Women love shopping as much as men love not shopping. You can tell because everything in the world of wares caters to a woman’s sensibilities. Walk into a department store and see for yourself. Do you see any signs anywhere? Do you see a giant neon sign that says: “Bathrooms Are Right the Fuck HERE!”? There’s also no alcohol and I guarantee you don’t know where the fucking door is. That’s because women hate that manner of shit.
The whole process of shopping is supposed to leave you drained, late, and (most importantly) feeling like you’ve accomplished something noble and epic when in fact all you did was go return some shitty presents that your girlfriend or wife (or both) gave you.
Women love shopping for the same reasons that men love women: it wastes their time. That’s why shopping malls are built like casinos. There’s no escape and no kind of landmarks. It’s like being trapped in a half-finished M.C. Escher painting where someone forgot to draw the ledge you want to jump off of. Surely with all that practice shopping and thinking about shopping women should be able to navigate the marketplace like a trained dog, but that assumption has fooled me and many a man many a time.
Women don’t know shit about shopping. They have no plan of attack and no philosophy. That’s why whenever you go into a store with one to buy a crappy present for her best friend’s wedding, you always end up in the purse section or the discount rack even though it was decided to get her a set of wine glasses well before hand. At least that’s what I hear happens.
Men do not shop. It’s true — even when we’re shopping that’s not what we’re doing. That’s why you shouldn’t judge a man on what he’s doing. He could be up to all kinds of other shit at the same time that you’re not aware of. That’s the man way.
Men are hunters and gatherers. We do not wander aimlessly about waiting for some trinket to catch our fancy. Absolutely no fucking way. We’re in, we’re out, and everyone goes home happy because they haven’t wasted half of the goddamn day playing princess and dress-up. I read an article about this recently that had some interesting things to say on the subject.
1. Men’s heart-rates increase at the moment of purchase — “The Modern Kill”.
2. Women have glitter and sawdust for brains.
I feel bad for women sometimes. And I’m talking about pity here, more than usual. They can’t even get good at the thing they love to do most: spending money. Then I remember that if women had it their way, I would be strung up by a noose and beaten like a piñata until the money that I’m made of started shooting all over the place like a sprinkler. Then I don’t feel so bad.
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Couple of points which I would like to add……….to what Studioline has
said so far…………………..
1. MAKE A WIMMIN DEPEND ON YOU FAR MORE………..THEN YOU GET
TO DEPEND ON WIMMIN………………
THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO DRILL THE SIMPLE NOTION INTO BITCH’S
HEAD THAT WHILE YOU ARE INDISPENSABLE TO HER………..FOR YOU
SHE IS PERFECTLY DISPENSABLE………..THAT MEANS YOU ARE FAR
MORE WORTHY TO HER………..THEN SHE IS TO YOU………..
IN SIMPLE TERMS IT MEANS SHE STANDS TO LOSE FAR MORE FROM
THE RELATIONSHIP IF IT BREAKS DOWN THEN YOU STAND TO LOSE
& THE WIMMIN GAINS FAR MORE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP THEN YOU
GAIN FROM IT.
THIS HAS TO BE UNDERSTOOD IN PROPER CONTEXT……………
YOU DON’T MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE TO HER BY SENDING
HER UNENDING STREAM OF BOUQUETS, BOOKING MOVIES &
RESTAURANTS,GOING ON SHOPPING & WORLD TOUR WITH HER &
CATERING TO ALL THE UNNECESSARY WANTS,DESIRES OF BITCH WIMMIN & NEITHER YOU MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE BY
MARRYING A HIGH SALARIED BITCH & PLAYING THE ROLE OF MALE
HOUSEWIFE BY INVOLVING YOURSELF IN HOUSEHOLD CHORES &
RUNNING TO SUPERMARKETS ON GROCERY ERRANDS………..
YOU MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE BY PLAYING THE ROLE OF
HUNTER GATHERER & PROTECTOR………………CALL IT ALPHA MALE,
EGOCENTRIC MALE, CHAUVINIST MALE……..OR WHATEVER NAME
FOR THAT MATTER……………….THE TRADITIONAL MALE ROLE WHICH
MEN HAVE PLAYED FOR EONS……………
FACE IT GUYS & WRITE IT IN GOLDEN WORDS SOMEWHERE…………A WIMMIN LOVES A MAN WHO PLAYS THE ROLE OF LEADER. A MAN WHO
PLAYS THE ROLE OF CAPTAIN & STEERS THE BOAT OR SHIP………
HOWEVER HARD THE FEMINIST BRAINWASHED PIG BITCHES MIGHT
TRY TO CONVINCE YOU, DETRACT YOU…………….THE GOLDEN TRUTH
IS NO…NO.. WIMMIN RESPECTS/SHOWS REGARD/FEARS A MAN WHO
ABDICATES/ABSCONDS THE ROLE OF LEADERSHIP & HANDS IT TO
A WIMMIN.
FACE IT GUYS…………….THE MAN COMMANDS RESPECT ONLY WHEN
HE ASSUMES/PLAYS THE ROLE OF BOSS. IF THE FEMINIST BITCH
HARPS ON EQUALITY SHIT………..MUTUAL RESPECT & OTHER CRAP
CRAP………BLAH BLAH……….SHE IS OPENLY LYING…………THE
TRUTH IS SHE WANTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOU & BECOME YOUR
BOSS……………..THAT IS THE TRUTH GUYS…………
THE FACT IS YOU COMMAND RESPECT…………..YOU DON’T DEMAND
IT & IT IS NOT HANDED OVER TO YOU BECOZ YOU WANT IT.
{{FUNNY HOW MANY FEMINIST PIG WIMMIN COME OVER HERE & PUT IT AS A
MATTER OF FACT THAT MAN = WIMMIN ,SO MUTUAL RESPECT……..
SO MAN SHOULD RESPECT WIMMIN & WIMMIN RESPECTS MAN & BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…………….FUCKING BS.}}
TO COMMAND RESPECT………YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF FAR MORE WORTHY TO A BITCH………..THEN SHE IS TO YOU……..
TELL THAT FUCKING BITCH………EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE INVOLVED
IN A REGULAR JOB, YOU HOPE TO SEE YOURSELF AS PRESIDENT OF
COMPANY 10-20 YEARS DOWN THE LINE OR EVEN IF YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE HEADING ANYWHERE 10 YEARS DOWN……..SAY YOU MIGHT
START YOUR OWN BUSINESS/COMPANY & BECOME ITS CEO……..
WIMMIN LIKE MEN WHO ARE AMBITIOUS OR AT LEAST HAVE A LONG
TERM PLAN………..
ALSO KEEP YOURSELF PHYSICALLY ACTIVE & FIT BY GOING TO GYMN SO THAT THE STUPID BITCH FEELS SHE IS HAVING A BODYGUARD TO
PROTECT HER………
2. MAKE A WIMMIN NEED YOU MORE THEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED HER…
TRY TO FULFILL A WIMMIN’S NEEDS/WANTS WHICH ARE LEGITIMATE
& RATIONAL BUT ON ONE CONDITION………..THE BITCH HAS TO WORK & EARN FOR IT IN A PROPER MANNER/WAY.
TO EARN IT, THE WIMMIN SHOULD FIRST TRY TO FULFILL THE NEEDS/WANTS/WHATEVER TASKS A MAN ASSIGNS TO HER.
IF A WIMMIN SEEKS TRUE LOVE/AFFECTION OR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION, SHE SHOULD BE TOLD TO EARN IT THE HARD WAY.
IN SEX A WIMMIN HAS NO RIGHT TO ASK THE MAN TO SATISFY HER.
…………{{UNLESS THE WIMMIN HAPPENS TO BE A PORN STAR CAPABLE OF PYROTECHNICS)…………THE BITCH USUALLY LIES ON
THE BED LIKE A DEAD LOG & THE MAN HAS TO PUT IN ALL THE
PASSION & EFFORT TO AROUSE HER & KEEP THE SEXUAL ACT GOING
……………….THE CONTRIBUTION OF BITCH IN THE ACT IS USUALLY NIL………SO THE FUCKING BITCH HAS NO RIGHT TO ASK THE MAN
TO KEEP GOING & SATISFY HER UNTIL & UNLESS THE BITCH HAS
EARNED THAT TREAT FROM MAN BY HARD WAY…………….UNTIL &
UNLESS THE MAN FEELS THE BITCH DESERVES IT………
ONE MORE POINT……………TO KEEP THE BITCH ON HER TOES, KEEP
HER ALWAYS GUESSING & NEVER ALLOW THE BITCH TO TAKE YOU
GRANTED AT ANY POINT IN LIFE…………..
What never ceases to amaze me is that women actually believe Christmas (or any day of the week for that matter) is exclusively an excuse to a) hava a man buy them something expensive, or b) buy herself gifts until she chokes. Have women ever heard of the concept of ‘giving’? I submit they have not. Giving to yourself does NOT count. Why do women buy themselves so much stuff? You ain’t that good.
Excellent, very funny and riddled with accuracies.
Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
I’ll read the article once I stop laughing at the title. Classic, keep it up Dick. Can’t stop picturing men all lining up to return their ‘gifts’
I most definitely agree that women their fucking sexuality to manipulate men and spend deir money. I would say it’s better to have a kid or two from an agreeable woman and fuck whores on d street who r not pretensive to hide it dan allow some bitch spend ur hard earned money. To all d men out dere i say spend less on a bitch u r dating and fuck her sooner den dump her.
Did I miss this god damned article? What the fuck?
Alright well I caught it finally. Once again we learn an important fact, that we already knew since we are men. Women, are shitfucked. They’re even shitfucked doing the stupid shitfuck things they like to do. Namely, shopping.
Also it is of note that men are NOT shopping, even when we are. I can attest to this from my own experience. Usually I’m fucking the broad I’m shopping with. Sometimes I’m fucking her and the sales clerk lady at the same time. Specially shoes sales ladies. They seem to have gotten this job, just to have an excuse to bend over a LOT while wearing low cut ensembles.
Yeah I know I just fucked myself and lost 50 manpoints for even knowing the word ensemble. It could have been a 100, had I know what an ensemble was.
well my mom spends on groceries, my dad likes to spend on crack and oxycontin…..
actually, most guys i know love shopping if it involves video games, electronics, porn, car parts etc….
basically you just do not want to shop for women, women do not mind shopping for you……
men sound more selfish, whereas women seem to do things more for others, which is why we are known for it..
they also like to blow their own horn alot.
—–”well my mom spends on groceries, my dad likes to spend on crack and oxycontin…..”———-
So? Its *HIS* money. Your daddy needs crack to stop himself from KILLING your mother.
••••
—–”actually, most guys i know love shopping if it involves video games, electronics, porn, car parts etc”——
WE prefer to buy ourselves ANYTHING WE WANT WITH OUR *OWN* MONEY THAT WE EARNED than some shit you CUNTS. Why are you pretending to have a problem with that????
If the guy spent the same same money on jewlery for YOU
that would be OK though, right?? – You selfish cunt.
••••
—–”basically you just do not want to shop for women, women do not mind shopping for you”———
Which is exactly how it should be –>> WITH *HIS* MONEY.
Put the dick down, bitch and learn something.
••••
—–”men sound more selfish, whereas women seem to do things more for others, which is why we are known for it.”——–
Yes.
Men SOUND more selfish.
But women ARE more selfish.
Open your own fuckin’ eyes.
——”they also like to blow their own horn alot”———-
So? A Man can do what ever he wants with *HIS* horn.
Are you getting it yet?
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Vagrath:: Trust me vag, the men of old used to go fishing to escape the woman that evolved into a C* once she had you and your sibblings (not your fault btw, hers) now they have vid’ games, porn etc and some still fish. Trust me on this, if they didn’t have this, they would either go nuts or worse.
Women are known for one thing; being full of crap and telling the story that sounds good, but has no basis in reality. (i.e. women enjoy buying and giving to others). What planet do you live on? It ain’t Earth, that’s for certain. If women do ‘give’, it is with the full expectation and demand of something better in return down the road. Certainly there are exceptions to every rule, but women that are the exception are as rare as someone admitting they voted for Obama.
“those kids” your phrasing says it all really. You don’t factor the children into this at all, you couldn’t give a rats ass if they were sleeping on the street, just as long you don’t have to hand over any cash to a woman you hate. Get over yourself. It’s not about you. You aren’t the most important person in your family’s life, let alone the fucking world.
Mich. Some of what you say I agree with. But give the man the opportunity to have custody. I don’t mean through the courts either, it’s automatically assumed women keep the child, the male actually has to fight in court to even concider dual custody. But you’re right, he should pay his way for her to turn his child (maybe) into a delinquent. Because she is likely to have zero capabilty in actually getting the kid to behave.
The most important thing when women treat their own children like “property” in divorce court…. is that they work HARDER at separating the family than they do at keeping it together.
WHen I see that shit…. when I see woman work HARDER at getting child support payments and vaginamony than she ever did at the “relationship” or “marriage” with the man…. she deserves to be puked on.
omg that’s hawt! Are you flirting with Dick, MK2?
Dick will never be ‘brought to his knees’ by any woman. Unless she happened to be 3ft tall and sexy as fuck.
Elderly women are more rational merely because they realize they can no longer manipulate with their sex appeal. They are forced to approach the world from a different more logical perspective than the one they were accustomed to since the day they were born. A long time ago when women were more modest (I don’t mean victorian times or prehistoric times) I like to think they were more logically inclined since they couldn’t use their bodies as a bargaining tool. When times were different economically, they spent less time worrying or thinking about what they would spend all that money on that their husband used to bring home since people barely made ends meet.
In terms of wanting custody, I’ve been training myself for years not to give a fuck if I can’t raise my own kids so that they can’t be used as a tool against me. Seriously the best thing to do is scram and not provide a single dollar to these women. If all american men joined in a collective strike and refused to work after divorce and pay child support and alimony then we may put an end to this disgusting tradition. Not a single dollar should be given to a child who you are not raising with your own hands and whose mother is not waiting on you hand and foot. Divorce should equal the beginning of a womans entire reliance on herself and raising those kids by herself.
I laughed at that, then I realized it’s really gross…
Flag poles, rich old men, the football team… whichever gives her the most for nothing.
Of what? Parking metres?
and i happen to love sex. on top.
you are all ridiculous
He’s right – if you are a man and you go into a mall, you are instantly assaulted by the virtual EXPLOSION of consumer crap here!. A million kinds of clothes, stupid jewelry, and perfumes and colognes that would gag a maggot. Literally ACRES of shit to buy! For most women, its heaven on earth, apparently – why else would they spend so much time and money there! And they ARE spending LOTS and LOTS of money here (hopefully not yours) – if they werent, none of this crap would be here in the first place. Appliances that do nothing, figurines, trinkets a pygmy wouldnt want, stuffed toys, pillows with writing on them, a thousand kinds of womens shoes! Who needs any of this crap? More importantly, WHO BUYS ALL THIS SHIT? The manswer is obvious, it-must-be – WOMEN.
When you go in the mall you buy a shirt or two, on sale, maybe some Levis jeans cause the kind from walmart last two weeks. And the tool section – but thats just to fix things yourself to save money for other crap you need. Chances are though, NOT ONE of the things youd buy with that money is sold at the mall!!! The mall is for women, period, to waste hard earned money on worthless and/or overpriced goods – of which there is far, far too much already!.
Small tip for men who are going to go shopping with a woman any time soon. Befor she’s due to go, paint a wall. When you’re done tell her to go on her own and get a chair and sit looking at the wall. When she says what are you doing and why aren’t you coming. Inform her you’re watching the paint dry, it’s more fun. Make ready for the screeching!
“…trinkets a pygmy wouldn’t want”, excellent!
“Every woman who’s ever been divorced (a majority of adult women, now) know that they have the men by the balls during the divorce. They know that short of video footage of them physically abusing the children, they will be awarded custody, and on this all other divorce negotiations are based. Women routinely force men to trade assets for access to their children. Women routinely make visitation agreements that they have every intention of avoiding by simply moving a great distance from the father.”
Now you are deluding yourself along with the great media lie. And that lie is that all men actually WANT custody. I go along with this shit, because the least we can do for the poor innocent little child victims of the train wreck called American society is let them believe that their dads will fight like pigs in Hell for them. But sometimes thats all it is, a lie. I’ve known several fathers who disappeared and chose to hold up a sign and living out a dumpster rather than go to work for $25 a week after garnishing. Ask Hasselhoff or baldwin, to name only two, just how hard they plan to fight for their darling children.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just give up that idea right now. The words “women” and “rational” don’t belong in the same paragraph. You’d be better off sitting in your front yard with a camera waiting for UFO’s or Bigfoot. The only potential thing i can see happening is that they may grow one mm more faithful after menopause, because after that they become exactly as bored with the opposite sex as you do at the same age. And lemme tell you, at 46, without the sex thing, people are stupendously, irrevocably, mind-numbingly, annoying to-the-point-of-suicide BORING.
He’s right! He’s right!! Every woman i have ever been with has tried the old “strength/push test” with me. Why? It was immediately obvious – because these broads MUST know that you are at least physically stronger than they are! (Because what they know, and you dont yet, is that they are about to give your eternal soul a beat down you will never forget.) And God forbid you aren’t, you have no business with the ruthless bitches known as American women; and ought to stick to prostitutes. (Come to think of it, that’s darn good advice for most American men. And cheaper, too.)
Same advice to Brit males too, our women are just the same.