Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
Women love shopping as much as men love not shopping. You can tell because everything in the world of wares caters to a woman’s sensibilities. Walk into a department store and see for yourself. Do you see any signs anywhere? Do you see a giant neon sign that says: “Bathrooms Are Right the Fuck HERE!”? There’s also no alcohol and I guarantee you don’t know where the fucking door is. That’s because women hate that manner of shit.
The whole process of shopping is supposed to leave you drained, late, and (most importantly) feeling like you’ve accomplished something noble and epic when in fact all you did was go return some shitty presents that your girlfriend or wife (or both) gave you.
Women love shopping for the same reasons that men love women: it wastes their time. That’s why shopping malls are built like casinos. There’s no escape and no kind of landmarks. It’s like being trapped in a half-finished M.C. Escher painting where someone forgot to draw the ledge you want to jump off of. Surely with all that practice shopping and thinking about shopping women should be able to navigate the marketplace like a trained dog, but that assumption has fooled me and many a man many a time.
Women don’t know shit about shopping. They have no plan of attack and no philosophy. That’s why whenever you go into a store with one to buy a crappy present for her best friend’s wedding, you always end up in the purse section or the discount rack even though it was decided to get her a set of wine glasses well before hand. At least that’s what I hear happens.
Men do not shop. It’s true — even when we’re shopping that’s not what we’re doing. That’s why you shouldn’t judge a man on what he’s doing. He could be up to all kinds of other shit at the same time that you’re not aware of. That’s the man way.
Men are hunters and gatherers. We do not wander aimlessly about waiting for some trinket to catch our fancy. Absolutely no fucking way. We’re in, we’re out, and everyone goes home happy because they haven’t wasted half of the goddamn day playing princess and dress-up. I read an article about this recently that had some interesting things to say on the subject.
1. Men’s heart-rates increase at the moment of purchase — “The Modern Kill”.
2. Women have glitter and sawdust for brains.
I feel bad for women sometimes. And I’m talking about pity here, more than usual. They can’t even get good at the thing they love to do most: spending money. Then I remember that if women had it their way, I would be strung up by a noose and beaten like a piñata until the money that I’m made of started shooting all over the place like a sprinkler. Then I don’t feel so bad.
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October 24th, 2005 at 2:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 8676b6f19a357
If she isn’t telling you what she thinks, it’s because she knows you’d never be able to understand and it’s not worth the effort. If she isn’t telling you what she feels, it’s because you’re better off not knowing.
I spent thirty years in a marriage with someone who replicates this kind of behaviour precisely. The result on my side was increasing resentment because unfortunately I could see what she wanted and what she thought. Not in every instant but sufficent to realize that I was in essence being excommunicated. There is nothing more irritating than being told one thing when another is true and you know it. The result of this was an escalation in tension to the point where divorce was inevitable. We are both in our fifties and the consequent divorce was absolutely devastating. We got together on weekends and here again her understanding of the situation was used to set the tone for our behaviour. She believed what I wanted was sex, so weekends became an orgy. Yet as time went past she was astounded to find that that was not my sole need. In consequence we opened up th communication to better understand each other. To our joint amazement we found that many of the things she desired not to communicate to me were the precise things that we both wanted. None of her manipulation was valid. none of the things she thought I was better off not knowing were correct. In the end we ended up in sword fights for no other reason than she withheld communication for reasons known only to herself -yet once revealed here we were in joint agreement. It went all the way down to fake orgasms - which I was fully aware of and only served to inflame the situation. We are back together again but this time there is an open agenda. There is communication and no fake orgasms. It is clear to her that I rather she tell me she cant make it. It is also true that she likes strength and control in me - she says so herself. We are far happier now because the silly assumptions have been laid to rest - for now at least. It truly shocked me to discover how much we had in common yet how much of that was perverted by misunderstandings and consequent manipulations.
What she thought she knew was so way off base - what she thought I was better of not knowing practically destroyed our marriage. We have both changed but in some ways we are the same - without the hidden agendas.
October 24th, 2005 at 3:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
Although I respect your honesty here Dave, I have to wonder why she felt she had to keep things from you in the first place (ie, why she felt you wouldn’t be able to handle hearing what she felt/though), and also, why if you knew she was keeping things from you, whether you made any attempts to get her to tell you, or whether you felt it would be easier for you (in the short term) if you didn’t bother. 30 years seems like a waste of time to me.
October 24th, 2005 at 5:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
“Freud himself even admitted he didn’t know what a woman wanted”
What Freud didn’t know has filled volumes….
I wouldn’t hold him up as any kind of psychological epitomy. Especially if you’re trying to show your intelligence on the subject.
October 24th, 2005 at 5:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
” I have to wonder why she felt she had to keep things from you in the first place”
Again,
I would wager that she felt uncomfortable / guilty with her own expectations / desires.
Since Dave was responding to this thread; where we’ve been discussing that as an issue in male/female relationships… I think it’s a pretty safe bet that Dave thought so too.
October 24th, 2005 at 6:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
“Nothing makes you look quite so foolish as spelling a sophisticated word incorrectly. Taken directly from Latin, where it means “abridgement,â€? “epitomeâ€? is now most often used to designate an extremely representative example of the general class: “Snow White is the epitome of a Disney cartoon feature.â€? Those who don’t misspell this word often mispronounce it, misled by its spelling, as “EP-i-tohm,â€? but the proper pronunciation is “ee-PIT-o-mee.â€?
Thanks to http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/epitomy.html cause I don’t need to prove my intelligence, unlike some.
And if you don’t mind alen but I would prefer to hear Dave’s view on my questions, seeming as how I was responding to his story and all. You understand.
October 24th, 2005 at 6:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
” [BECAUSE] I don’t need to prove my intelligence, unlike some.”
You could have fooled me.
A slight defensive aren’t we…
Your question was irrelevant; and the answer fairly obvious; but of course I can let Dave answer. I was only commenting. Hence the “I think”’s.
October 24th, 2005 at 6:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 8676b6f19a357
30 years does seem a bit of a waste. Unfortunately you can’t factor out love. Maybe we should have done something long ago. There were fine moments - I have two fantastic children and became a multimillionaire. We travelled the world and enjoyed many things together.However I must say that my wife was prone to making assumptions and acting accordingly. She obviously has her reasons but the point still remains that in many ways she was wrong in those assumptions. I am not saying I wasn’t partly to blame. Looking back in hindsight there are many things one could do. Unfortunately we got so cross-wired that we became engaged in a protracted power struggle to no purpose.
I do know that we have done something about it now and with any luck we will maintain a decent relationship.
October 24th, 2005 at 6:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
Kudos Dave.
October 24th, 2005 at 7:45 am - IP Man-Hash: db795025b74df
Women have only their own ghost to deal with and unfortunately there are too many.
Their lives have already been fortold. They just keep rejecting the obvious truth and they keep denying it.
Dumb shits do not know any different.
October 24th, 2005 at 10:16 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Good on you Dave for working it out. Thanks for posting.
On an unrelated topic, Female you are a complete raving jackass. If you are a psychologist in the real world, do everyone on Earth a favour and turn in your license. I suspect, however, that you are in life what you are on this site — nothing.
-Dick
October 25th, 2005 at 2:12 am - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
Good for you Dave and thanks for the update. Clearly you are the only male on this site who will ever manage to have and keep a wife.
October 25th, 2005 at 6:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
Egads; again with the venom spraying…
Do you have anything to support such a ridiculous blanket statement?
October 25th, 2005 at 2:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
did that statement offend you alen? I can’t think why considering you don’t like women anyway, so really, why should it bother you whether you’re side-lined or not?
And in support, mmmmm, let me see, oh, oh, I know. Women don’t tend to want to marry overt misogynists, unless of course there’s a decent incentive which will offset listening to the shit hit the ground as it falls out of their mouths.
October 25th, 2005 at 3:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Almost everything you say is widely offensive, Female. Not necessarily to men, but to common decency.
-Dick
October 26th, 2005 at 3:03 am - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
Well I’m not here to make friends, Dick by name, Dick by nature.
October 26th, 2005 at 3:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Why would a ridiculous lie offend me?
October 26th, 2005 at 3:19 am - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
You sounded offended by the simple truth, eg, “Egads”. Geewillykins, I think I’ll call you Ned Flanders from now on.
October 26th, 2005 at 5:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
Nope, just your audacity.
You simply lack tact, humour, perspective, and wisdom.
Truth, simple or not; has never bothered me Female. If you recognized it; that might help you in understanding things a bit better.
Just because men find you repulsive; doesn’t mean that they don’t have healthy relationships, or that they hate women.
October 26th, 2005 at 11:14 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
By the way, your choice of wording up there, Female: “have and keep a wife”, would get a lot of women extremely upset with you. Trust me on this one. The biggest thing women want to know secretly, but never have said out loud is that they’re all “kept” — every last one of them.
My point is, way to put your insensitive foot in your mouth, dumb shit.
-Dick
October 26th, 2005 at 2:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: dd25bee8154fe
Didn’t I warn you before not to argue semantics with me Dicky? I used the word in the correct possessive sense, as in “keeping a marial relationship with a wife.” Of course, your twised sexist perspective would naturally interpret ‘kept’ in terms of a dominant gender bias. Get over yourselves boys. Isn’t it time you knocked the boulders off your shoulders, stopped blaming women for all of your own failures, accepted personal responsibility and grew the fuck up? Your attitudes are old skool (like 1850’s old skool) and tiresome.