Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
Women love shopping as much as men love not shopping. You can tell because everything in the world of wares caters to a woman’s sensibilities. Walk into a department store and see for yourself. Do you see any signs anywhere? Do you see a giant neon sign that says: “Bathrooms Are Right the Fuck HERE!”? There’s also no alcohol and I guarantee you don’t know where the fucking door is. That’s because women hate that manner of shit.
The whole process of shopping is supposed to leave you drained, late, and (most importantly) feeling like you’ve accomplished something noble and epic when in fact all you did was go return some shitty presents that your girlfriend or wife (or both) gave you.
Women love shopping for the same reasons that men love women: it wastes their time. That’s why shopping malls are built like casinos. There’s no escape and no kind of landmarks. It’s like being trapped in a half-finished M.C. Escher painting where someone forgot to draw the ledge you want to jump off of. Surely with all that practice shopping and thinking about shopping women should be able to navigate the marketplace like a trained dog, but that assumption has fooled me and many a man many a time.
Women don’t know shit about shopping. They have no plan of attack and no philosophy. That’s why whenever you go into a store with one to buy a crappy present for her best friend’s wedding, you always end up in the purse section or the discount rack even though it was decided to get her a set of wine glasses well before hand. At least that’s what I hear happens.
Men do not shop. It’s true — even when we’re shopping that’s not what we’re doing. That’s why you shouldn’t judge a man on what he’s doing. He could be up to all kinds of other shit at the same time that you’re not aware of. That’s the man way.
Men are hunters and gatherers. We do not wander aimlessly about waiting for some trinket to catch our fancy. Absolutely no fucking way. We’re in, we’re out, and everyone goes home happy because they haven’t wasted half of the goddamn day playing princess and dress-up. I read an article about this recently that had some interesting things to say on the subject.
1. Men’s heart-rates increase at the moment of purchase — “The Modern Kill”.
2. Women have glitter and sawdust for brains.
I feel bad for women sometimes. And I’m talking about pity here, more than usual. They can’t even get good at the thing they love to do most: spending money. Then I remember that if women had it their way, I would be strung up by a noose and beaten like a piñata until the money that I’m made of started shooting all over the place like a sprinkler. Then I don’t feel so bad.
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October 22nd, 2005 at 3:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
“I can’t even be bothered to respond”
Great!
October 22nd, 2005 at 3:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Soldier Medic,
I just have to say that I’ve found pretty much the same thing is true in my experience as well.
And no, women’s conflicting expectations of having a man in control at their side (or in some deranged Female cases, underfoot) goes deeper than having an “inverted uterus”. It is part of the primitive sexual attraction to their partner. This is part of the reason that many women are confused in their relationships with men, since they are told that their desire to be vulnerable to a man is not to be tolerated in modern society.
In a healthy relationship; both men and women should be able to be vulnerable with each other as they need to be. But “modern” women just don’t know how to do this anymore. They’re afraid of giving up control, even though they often want to, and being used/hurt by their partners mainly because of propaganda they’ve been raised with. That’s just not healthy; and it hurts many relationships over time. When many women do give up control and allow themselves to be vulnerable; even briefly and are not hurt… it can be an astounding moment for them.
October 22nd, 2005 at 8:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
My god alen, well done. You’ve actually made a valid, non-sexist comment about vulnerability. I think we might be progressing, no?
However, re: the male/female domination aspect of being fucked from behind, again, I’m afraid that unless you are a female you don’t know what you are talking about and you really shouldn’t confuse physical satisfaction with psychological-interactional dynamics.
Fact is, the inner thighs of the legs do begin to hurt after a prolonged period in the missionary position, therefore, when your partner says, “take me from behind,” it’s usually as a consequence of feeling her legs beginning to cramp up. Even if one does yoga and is incredibly supple, this is a physical fact.
And again, the inverted uterus does exist and you men should be helping your partners, not having an ego wank based on the incorrect assumption that she wants you to prove your masculinity. Soldier medic, you’ve been around the other grunts far too long. Maybe time to experience the civilised world?
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
alen, you’re completely right of course. If anyone out there didn’t already know not to take relationship/sex advice from women, this thread would be proof enough.
Also, since when do “lesbians” know anything about sex?
-Dick
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Hello Dick, how funny that you should persist in assuming I am a lesbian. I guess you are simply unable to discredit my points and thus must resort to believing I prefer vagina. Whatever makes you happy Dicky. I love Dick.
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
I’m not in a position to discredit these alleged “points” that you think you’ve made because I’m not going to read your post. Women are not allowed on this site — whether they love me or not.
-Dick
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
you’re not going to read my posts? WOW, you must be a psychic master then, otherwise how else could you have just responded to my last post. Mmmm, are you slipping dick?
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
I read that post because it was short. Anything that can’t be said in less than two sentences doesn’t deserve to be said. Every man knows that.
-Dick
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
LOL. Everyman hey? Are you calling alen, the flying dutchman, reckless and soldier medic women then are you? I’m sure they’ll be ecstatic to hear that.
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
Only in a woman’s mind could that statement be derived from the one I made, Female. In a woman’s mind and in a trash can with a bunch of other notions that make no sense.
-Dick
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
Backpeddalings so much fun isn’t it Dick. Seems like obvious logic to me that your premise that only men know that anything worth saying should be said in only 2 sentences, implies that you
(a) don’t consider your fellow male posters here to actually be men and if they are not men, then perhaps they are
(b) women, and if they are women, then your domain name and entire premise of this site that men are better women, implies you think they are all pretty major retards. How nice.
or (c) you think they are men, but they are lesser men to you. Perhaps this site should be renamed, adickcandowithoutaman.
October 22nd, 2005 at 9:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
Watching women explain things is like watching a five-year-old perform yo-yo tricks. Things go everywhere for no rhyme or reason and if you get too close you’ll probably get hurt.
I’ll simply say there’s a difference between arguing and exploring the betterness of men when compared to women. Brevity and economy of speech is important in one of those. All the male posters here know that.
I wouldn’t know if backpeddaling is fun or not. I’ve never done it.
-Dick
October 22nd, 2005 at 10:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
I thought you didn’t read posts longer than 2 sentences. Really dick, you need to make up your mind and practice what you preach. Consistency is needed here, otherwise these debates just go around in useless circles, much like your thoughts.
October 22nd, 2005 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
No?
-Dick
October 23rd, 2005 at 6:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Female,
I think you will find that I, and others here are quite reasonable; to those that bother to listen and understand what they are actually saying, instead of flying off the handle and trying to create arguements anywhere possible.
“However, re: the male/female domination aspect of being fucked from behind, again, I’m afraid that unless you are a female you don’t know what you are talking about and you really shouldn’t confuse physical satisfaction with psychological-interactional dynamics.”
“being fucked from behind” is an example, not the point. It is a fact that “psychological-interactional dynamics” greatly affect physical satisfaction in sex. Not that sex per se was my point either.
October 23rd, 2005 at 8:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
PS: regarding sex; unless you’ve had sex with other women and are a man; then you really don’t have any idea what you’re talking about in terms of pleasing women in a heterosexual relationship.
The only things you could know are
1) what you like
2) what other women have told you they like
(in fact even if you’ve had sex with other women; this is largely true)
1) is only partially relevant in a discussion on women in general
2) has some merit, but it’s not information that any man doesn’t have access to these days. So you’re on equal footing there.
In the case of lesbian sex; again, heterosexual dynamics are not even present; so whatever you do, or don’t know from that is also only partially relevant. (And no, I don’t want to know your personal life)
People also have a tendency to discuss only what they sense other people are comfortable with; so in many cases although women will talk about sex; women will not talk about submissive tendencies towards men even with other women due to stigmas about being vulnerable in modern society (discussed before).
First hand experience (yes, as a man) can tell a vastly different story in terms of women’s desires with a man. It is not washed away with superficialities like “fake orgasms” or women trying to please men’s egos, or even discomfort as you are trying to claim. In my experience at least, and I’m sure many others; it is far more geniuine, and far deeper than that.
October 23rd, 2005 at 9:15 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
alen, that’s a good point. If ‘Female’ is getting her opinions of a woman’s sexuality from her friends, she could come up with any crazy idea at all.
Inverted uterus. Have you ever heard such a thing? Does an “inverted uterus” explain the rape fantasies as well, ‘Female’? I bet somehow it does.
-Dick
October 23rd, 2005 at 1:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Yeah, but it’s very rare.
Rape fantasies aren’t.
October 23rd, 2005 at 10:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5636f5bbd16de
Here are some theories on vacant womyn’s sex drive or the non-existant part of it.
Womyn are quite happy screwing anything apparently, be it a plastic dildo, a vibrator always shaped like a penis, rubbing against another clit. She doesn’t care, it makes no difference to her.
“Even if this is true however, it still bothers me that, for some reason, this alternative sexuality seems to effectively disconnect the brain from the genitalia. Having other criteria for choosing sex partners doesn’t explain why women’s bodies react equally even to lesbian erotica.
Also, this may bring about serious problems if and when the body doesn’t co-operate. I believe this problem exists simply because it’s obvious that when a woman says she is or isn’t aroused, her body doesn’t necessarily agree with her choice. Which brings me to my next theory:
J) Women aren’t connected to their bodies and, in addition, don’t know what their bodies need. This may be innate, or due to social and cultural changes and pressures. This may also be a recent phenomenon since we don’t have test results from another generation to compare with. Perhaps women have even actively disconnected themselves to align their sexual preferences with their fantasies, traumas, or modern social standards, leaving their bodies behind to deal with any erotica on their own. Maybe this is why so many women nowadays need to ‘get in touch with their sexuality’.
It may be argued that the disconnection only occurs when the brain is not aroused, but when it is, the genitalia always follow suit. But it seems wrong that someone can say ‘I’m not aroused’ when their bodies are very aroused. This behaviour cries out for a raison d’etre. Claiming that this is because women place their sexual priorities on other factors sure sounds good, but doesn’t change the fact that there is a basic schizophrenia here. Evolution-wise, it also doesn’t explain the practical waste of automatically reacting physically to a lesbian porno.”
http://www.medschool.northwestern.edu/newsworthy/past-years/2003/2003G -June/sexuality.html
October 24th, 2005 at 1:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
My god you men are OBSESSED with what occurs in the female mind, aren’t you!! Freud himself even admitted he didn’t know what a woman wanted, so if you guys think you’re going to find out from google, research studies or internet forums, you are sadly mistaken. Here’s a free tip. Expose your ignorance and vulnerability to your partner and ASK her. How terrible that you’ll have to admit a woman might know some things that you DON’T, but I’m afraid it’s really the only way. You’re all just going to have to admit that as much as you know, you really know diddley-squat about what women think/feel/want. And it’s no use making up bullshit, like “women don’t know what they want or feel and maybe their disconnected from their bodies, or some shit”. That is the biggest piece of crap I have ever read. Believe me guys, we know want we think/feel/want, it’s just whether we’ll let you in on it or not that pisses you off. And I know that sword can cut both ways, but really, if a woman isn’t telling you what she needs, it’s only because she knows you wouldn’t be able to provide her with what she needs. If she isn’t telling you what she thinks, it’s because she knows you’d never be able to understand and it’s not worth the effort. If she isn’t telling you what she feels, it’s because you’re better off not knowing.