Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
Women love shopping as much as men love not shopping. You can tell because everything in the world of wares caters to a woman’s sensibilities. Walk into a department store and see for yourself. Do you see any signs anywhere? Do you see a giant neon sign that says: “Bathrooms Are Right the Fuck HERE!”? There’s also no alcohol and I guarantee you don’t know where the fucking door is. That’s because women hate that manner of shit.
The whole process of shopping is supposed to leave you drained, late, and (most importantly) feeling like you’ve accomplished something noble and epic when in fact all you did was go return some shitty presents that your girlfriend or wife (or both) gave you.
Women love shopping for the same reasons that men love women: it wastes their time. That’s why shopping malls are built like casinos. There’s no escape and no kind of landmarks. It’s like being trapped in a half-finished M.C. Escher painting where someone forgot to draw the ledge you want to jump off of. Surely with all that practice shopping and thinking about shopping women should be able to navigate the marketplace like a trained dog, but that assumption has fooled me and many a man many a time.
Women don’t know shit about shopping. They have no plan of attack and no philosophy. That’s why whenever you go into a store with one to buy a crappy present for her best friend’s wedding, you always end up in the purse section or the discount rack even though it was decided to get her a set of wine glasses well before hand. At least that’s what I hear happens.
Men do not shop. It’s true — even when we’re shopping that’s not what we’re doing. That’s why you shouldn’t judge a man on what he’s doing. He could be up to all kinds of other shit at the same time that you’re not aware of. That’s the man way.
Men are hunters and gatherers. We do not wander aimlessly about waiting for some trinket to catch our fancy. Absolutely no fucking way. We’re in, we’re out, and everyone goes home happy because they haven’t wasted half of the goddamn day playing princess and dress-up. I read an article about this recently that had some interesting things to say on the subject.
1. Men’s heart-rates increase at the moment of purchase — “The Modern Kill”.
2. Women have glitter and sawdust for brains.
I feel bad for women sometimes. And I’m talking about pity here, more than usual. They can’t even get good at the thing they love to do most: spending money. Then I remember that if women had it their way, I would be strung up by a noose and beaten like a piñata until the money that I’m made of started shooting all over the place like a sprinkler. Then I don’t feel so bad.
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October 19th, 2005 at 9:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 727fc4609ea88
Thanks. I should have put 2 comes before 3 on the post. Oh for the lack of an edit button u.u
October 19th, 2005 at 11:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 3f6f1bc89c9c0
I’ve got to give it to SCUM. 1) They have an apt name. 2) They understand that the only way they can be the best sex on the planet is to eliminate the one that bests them at everything. heartlessbitches is just a joke. Being in total control? Of what? Certainly not business, science, law, philosophy, relationships, their emotions, or, as “Woman” displays in her posts, the English language.
October 19th, 2005 at 11:19 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
“…and the whole stigma of being unmarried and pregnant has rightly fucked off.”
Female, what planet are you from? Unmarried, pregnant women carry an enormous stigma. As does the bun in their oven, and for good reason. Single mothers raise violent, man-hating offspring.
-Dick
October 20th, 2005 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
BUAHAAHAAA
Reckless, you’re about 21 aren’t you love? Aside from the naive macho strivings evident in your login name, your spelling, punctuation and need to have everything explained to you in CORRECT order makes me think that not only are you young and dumb, but you still live with your mummy don’t you.
I have to agree with Dick that yes, perhaps the stigma of unmarried mothers isn’t entirely gone. However, I believe that’s got more to do with socio-economics and that you are perhaps thinking of the publics view towards single, pregnant mothers on welfare with 3 other kids. Tell me, when Liz Hurley shat out the brat of Billionaire Bing, was she looked down upon? When Angelina Jolie adopted an orphan or two, did people cast crap on her? Jodie Foster, Sharon Stone, the list goes on of unmarried women with children. Don’t confuse one’s income level with the unmarried state boys, though I know, I know, you’re all tightarses and your biggest gripe is a women spending your hard earned cash. What about your spending of hers though fellas? The average males food bill is 3 times that of a females. Quite simply, you’re all pigs.
October 20th, 2005 at 3:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
http://www.ilovebacon.com/040303/h.shtm
October 20th, 2005 at 5:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
Wow. Incoherent, bad at math, and incapable of cutting and pasting correctly too… What a shock.
October 20th, 2005 at 8:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 5a9457f579c3d
You know the answer to your own question, for you answer it yourself. “When Liz Hurley shat out the brat” — that’s not a sign that you have any respect for her or the child. The stigma of unmarried mothers continues (even with you!) and so it should. Without the presence of a father, girls will tend to grow up to be whores, and boys to be thugs. This is true whether the mother is Foster/Stone/Hurley/Jolie, or the retread of the month.
October 20th, 2005 at 8:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 727fc4609ea88
“Tell me, when Liz Hurley shat out the brat of Billionaire Bing, was she looked down upon? When Angelina Jolie adopted an orphan or two, did people cast crap on her? Jodie Foster, Sharon Stone, the list goes on of unmarried women with children. Don’t confuse one’s income level with the unmarried state boys, though I know, I know, you’re all tightarses and your biggest gripe is a women spending your hard earned cash. What about your spending of hers though fellas? The average males food bill is 3 times that of a females. Quite simply, you’re all pigs.”
1) With the exception of Angelina Jolie (who is exempt from this because a. she adopted and b. she hooked up with Pitt to get attention), I haven’t seen any of these skanks in any blockbuster movies in the past couple of years. Flight Plan bombed, Liz Hurley did catch her fair share of shit, and nobody gives a damn about Sharon Stone anymore. But lets look past that, or at that so to speak: those women are in the upper economic tiers of society, where pretty much anyone can get away with anything so long as they have the money and the lawyers. Take a look at Michael Jackson: his life after his trial is hardly representative of the normal man accused and accquitted of child molestation. Do you think it might have something to do with his finances?
2) Considering that men are more massive on average than women, I wouldn’t really be surprised at this. This is like telling me that a doberman eats more than a shitzu. That said, you fail to prove that men spend women’s money in order to pay for their eating habits. Men spend more on men’s underwear than women. Even a single man spends more on men’s underwear than women. Does that really mean that he is borrowing some invisible skank’s money to buy his underwear?
In any case bitch, I’m still waiting for 1) my rebuttals, 2) your explanation on how someone with a short lived biological clock has the advantage over someone who has none, 3) my sandwich (it’s a Mancoat thing: christianj and Tech can tell you about it). Let’s not pretend that you actually have a point here, or a response, because you don’t.
October 20th, 2005 at 9:16 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
The stigma of unmarried mothers is worse today than it ever was. As it should be. 70% of violent rapists in prison were raised by a single mother.
Nice link, by the way. Especially for someone who has such a strap-on for grammar and spelling.
-Dick
October 21st, 2005 at 3:05 am - IP Man-Hash: be5ca81a16b60
Reck,
You may have to explain to it what a kitchen is and the finer art of sandwich making.
October 21st, 2005 at 3:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
LOL. You guys are such a laugh aren’t you. Firstly, Reckless, the reason I’m not answering your points is because you are extremely unclear. I don’t even understand what the point of your rebuttals are, especially point number 1., because they don’t clearly rebuttal any of the points.
RE: the biology point you make, I guess I need to make this a lot clearly for someone of your orientation.
In answer to that, the reason I say women have biology on their side is due to the fact that men can’t control the fact that their dicks seem to need a regular place to release themselves. I know that in your case, it’s obviously your hand, but the vast majority of other men, prefer something called a vagina.
I realise now that didn’t understand my point because it’s unlikely vaginas entice you. So therefore you would quite naturally be completely bewildered to know that hetero men can’t really control themselves when they need the vadge, and therefore women have the upper hand.
Thus ends today’s lesson for the Young & Reckless.
In answer to the flying dutchman, true, true, I couldn’t care less about Liz Hurley, which is why I said she shat out bing jr, please tell me though, how using the term ’shat’ indicates I have no respect for unmarried mothers in general, rather than Liz Hurley, per se.
In answer to Dick, I’d really like to see you back up your all-knowing claim that the stigma of unmarried mothers is worse today than it ever was. I mean, obviously you’re right, even though vast numbers of unmarried women are managing to keep their children, rather than give them up for adoption.
October 21st, 2005 at 6:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
“In answer to that, the reason I say women have biology on their side is due to the fact that men can’t control the fact that their dicks seem to need a regular place to release themselves.”
…
“hetero men can’t really control themselves when they need the vadge, and therefore women have the upper hand.”
Female; I’m sure that the number of completely hetero men that have controlled themselves around you approaches infinity. How many different men have you had sex with? How many have you not? As you get older, how do you see that ratio changing?
October 21st, 2005 at 6:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
It hasn’t started changing yet alen, but I’ll let you know as soon as it does.
October 21st, 2005 at 6:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454
What a surprise. No wonder you’re all wound up.
October 21st, 2005 at 9:04 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
If I’m obviously right why in the hell would I need to back anything up? That’s a silly, time wasting, womanly thing to do.
Also, please don’t let us know anything else about your sex life. Just let us know when you stop coming to my website by not posting anymore.
-Dick
October 21st, 2005 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2c03551db2146
I have gone through and have read all the posts concerning this article. I have come to two conclusions. #1 it is true that when a woman is backed into a corner and has no other way to defend herself she will say things in a “last breath” attempt to have a man question his sexuality. #2 There is always going to be this argument. Men are better than Women. I sincerely believe this. I grew up with four sisters and one brother. I can honestly say that I am able to understand women in general far better than anyone I have ever met. I have respect for woman and I love my sisters dearly I love my own daughter even more. But we as men have charactersitics about ourselves that may at first appear to abbrasive and uncompassionate but i will tell you what every woman I have ever met wants a man that is going to take charge and take control. Every woman I have ever met or have been involved with wants the man to make the approach. They want the man to be in control because they want the man to take the responsibility. Even though I know that woman are capable of leading they are just too lazy and un-accepting of concequences. They want the man to fuck them from behind. It is a sign of dominance and woman love it. They want to be controlled. But, we as men have to do it in such a way that they don’t have to admit to they’re friends that we are in control. I can see a comment coming from “female” or some other woman that needs to come on here and spout her bullshit opinion that they do that kind of stuff so that our ego is boosted so that we can feel like a man. I don’t need a woman to make me feel like a man. I feel like a man simply because I am, and there is nothing a woman can do or say to change that. Men are better than women.
October 21st, 2005 at 4:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Bravo.
-Dick
October 21st, 2005 at 7:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
You think women like being fucked from behind in order to be dominated do you Soldier? Mmmm, it wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact these women you’ve been fucking might have inverted uterus’s and therefore their g-spot would best be reached doggie style? Nooo, surely not.
And you call yourself a medic do you?
1000 and 1 apologies Dick, I know you don’t like hearing about female sexuality.
October 21st, 2005 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
It’s not female sexuality, ‘Female’, it’s your sexuality. You don’t leave enough to the imagination. I’m sure that’s a running theme in your life. Besides you couldn’t tell me anything I don’t already know.
-Dick
October 21st, 2005 at 9:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7b3045c12f605
Yawn.
I can’t even be bothered to respond, however, if subsequent posters make a crack about this here post, then I’m sorry Dick but we’ll be returning to my between the sheets action. Is this clear? Probably not, I know you men can’t multi-task.