Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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October 26th, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7c7cdafc977f8
So… punch to the ass eh? Not the anus then? More like the buttocks?
And I’ve corrected this portion, ’cause I’m a nice guy:
The Donkey Punch is like the KURGAN. There can be only one.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: cfc16a8e6e502
Having just read a manual = -50 man-points
Having tried it out = +150 man-points
Having just discovered why they call it a donkey punch = priceless.
October 26th, 2007 at 8:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 014a43896fb5a
I thought it was going to be like bronco style. You start out doing it doggy-style then in the middle of doing it you leen down and wisper in her ear, Your sister likes it this way to, then try and hold on for eight seconds.
October 27th, 2007 at 1:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 27bb4a532c17e
OK this isn’t remotely to my taste. But like one particular PhD commenter on my own site I can’t let incorrect stuff pass by uncorrected.
The concept of the so-called “donkey-punch” is that you disrupt (temporarily) the recipient’s nervous system, causing a radical and involuntary tightening of certain orifices. This is generally done during sex.
It’s mostly done by men to women, though could be done by women to women or women to men or men to men. (The women would have to use artificial assistance, obviously).
It isn’t terribly safe, polite, kind, or anything.
Some women like it. Not bloody many though.
To do so, you have to hit the sacral nerve, above the buttocks, in a very vulnerable portion of the anatomy. It’s easy to damage kidneys or the spine or the nerve itself.
Similarly, you can hit at the base of the skull, but that carries whole dangers of its own, and isn’t as reliable.
Dick is mistaken; it’s nothing much to do with where — sacral or cranial — the nerve is struck, simply the fact that you’re trying to hit a nerve and cause radical temporary disruption.
It’s just not something anyone sensible should do. Or participate in.
Look, if your date wants to be spanked hard (before or during sex)… that’s fine, as long as you both consent, and stick to ‘fleshy areas’. This is a whole different level of perversion and one much more dangerous and likely to land you in jail.
I now feel faintly disgusted in admitting to a level of sexual knowledge I’d rather have concealed… (no, I’ve not participated in this, though I had a gf who wanted me to) and more than a little bemused by the fact that Dick chose this as a post. What is up with that?
-wolfe
October 27th, 2007 at 1:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: d7677dd907e52
After I read it I actually took it as a post against misogyny. If you look at what Dick says and how he says it, I find the main undertone of the entire article to be an attack on men who think violence against women is okay.
Most things men do are mantastic. Domestic violence is not one of them. Dick has illustrated this, satirically though he may have put it. Completely masculine kudos, Dick.
October 27th, 2007 at 2:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 27bb4a532c17e
@Vindication Dick is not for DV. That’s pretty clear, and thanks for reinforcing that.
I still don’t see this as one of his most brilliant moments. That’s all.
Welcome to the site; glad you grasp the gist of it. Enjoy.
-wolfe
October 27th, 2007 at 3:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Do you imply therein that DV is solely the domain of male perpetrators.
- the chemical brothers - the big jump
October 27th, 2007 at 6:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: d7677dd907e52
Why thank you.
Do you imply therein that DV is solely the domain of male perpetrators.
- the chemical brothers - the big jump
Of course not. That would be ignorant.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: cfc16a8e6e502
Indeed, the post carries undertones suggesting that domestic violence is wrong.
Ahem.
Wolfe, you are very correct. The donkey punch is neither an “advanced move”, nor a “guess what I did last night?!?” thing. It is possible to do a donkey-punch, but I feel it’s about as likely as what most people think a donkey punch REALLY is. I feel this post falls under locker-talk, rather than serious instruction.
Sonyad, however, raised a valid point. It is natural for men (I don’t know why, but…) to jump to the aid of the “weaker sex”. Even today, many men feel that hitting a woman is “wrong”, that men are “almost always at fault”, and women should be “treated with respect”.
Only a bloody few women merit this consideration. Many women deserve to be smacked, most don’t deserve respect, and most women are always at fault. It’s just WHAT at that particular moment they are at fault for.
Chivalry is a weakness, and an archaic form of mind-control. Common-human respect however, is demanded of any “man”, and hopefully any “woman”. Don’t hit women… or men either. It’s just stupid to pick fights, regardless of sex. However, respond in kind with equal force, if one so chooses to act the fool.
As far as a donkey punch, anyone stupid enough to actually do this deserves what they get.
October 29th, 2007 at 9:45 am - IP Man-Hash: d7677dd907e52
Very well put, Savant. I had some similar things to say a little while ago.
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/not-on-fire-thank-a-man/#comment- 99918
I get so tired of being hit by women, just because they think it’s okay. I had a woman at work slap me the other day because I was standing in her way. I went ahead and visibly took offense, and you know what her response was?
“I’m sorry, it’s a forced habit I have from slapping my boyfriend all the time.”
Wow. Lucky him. O.o
October 29th, 2007 at 9:48 am - IP Man-Hash: d8dfaf3496c8b
What the fuck was wrong with that woman? And god, fuck that beta joke.
October 31st, 2007 at 12:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 27bb4a532c17e
@Savant yeah it’s a weak post IMHO, locker talk or otherwise. (Check out Dick’s more recent post for something mantastic though).
@Vindication - I’ll answer your question to Sony — DV is probably a primarily female affair, at least in terms of instigation of violence. No question, that when a man gets violent he hurts a woman very badly. Check out (if you haven’t) Erin Pizzey’s work on the subject for example.
(http://fathersforlife.org/pizzey/pizzey.htm)
NO ONE SHOULD BE VIOLENT to their spouse/partner. Least of all men.
A man who physically hurts a woman — given that she is weaker and less capable — is less than a man, unless he is defending himself or his children.
By and large men adhere to that.
Women do not appear to, even judging by the well-massaged statistics.
-wolfe
October 31st, 2007 at 1:08 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Lol…ewww
October 31st, 2007 at 1:26 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Agreed Wolfe. Being slapped does not give one the right to act like Mike Tyson.
October 31st, 2007 at 1:41 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I don’t think it’s a weakness. I open doors, give up my seat and stuff like that for guys. I also do it for girls, and I’m a girl. Is that chivalry or is that the respect you were talking about?
October 31st, 2007 at 1:42 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
You mean bite her ear off?
October 31st, 2007 at 2:36 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Right hook and left uppercut.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:05 am - IP Man-Hash: c41f2159ece8c
And then bite her ear off?
October 31st, 2007 at 3:12 am - IP Man-Hash: a15e50dc03aef
No, then eat her babies
November 1st, 2007 at 12:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
I like it. Never tried it. I would consider Donkey Punchin’ a hooker though, because at $200 an hour, I gotta get my nut AND try some new shit out.
It’s like Fish Hookin’ her. A man has gotta do what a MAN has to do, irregardless of Man-Points.
That and show them the Pimp Hand.
All a matter of taste.
November 1st, 2007 at 12:45 am - IP Man-Hash: e9b33ba281409
Clair, why would you give up your seat for anyone, unless they had a valid reason for needing it more than you?
And Wolfe…
Least of all men? Just because women do not possess the mental ability to make rational choices does not mean they are allowed to depart from legal (or in this case) moral accountability.
I understand that because men have the ability to think, we are held to higher standards. This, I agree on. But if women have no ability to function in a society built on manly things like reason, respect, attrition and above all physics, they should be kept in the proper container, like my feces.
-FLUSH-
November 1st, 2007 at 1:22 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Because it makes the other person feel special. We live in a really fast paced and egocentric society - which has the harrowing effect of creating low self esteems. It’s nice to think that someone else thinks thinks enough of you to give up a seat for you, or open a door for you.
Oh and I know this was directed at Wolfe,
but, the last time I checked, women also had pre-frontal cortexes.
November 1st, 2007 at 2:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
An egocentric society based on……………female values of looks being more important than anyone/anything else. Most definitely not a Man-Invention what-so-fucking-ever.
That is, after all, why women are Narcissists. They did invent that!
Being nice nowadays cost more in time and energy to some asshole or shithead who won’t pass the Nice Buck anyway, but bitch about how they were treated rudely when they yelled at the waiter for being slow.
I would open the door for a woman (and still do) any time, but if you are too fucking slow to meet me there, you can open your own goddam door, because the government has now forced me to treat you as an equal……SO OPEN YOUR OWN FUCKING DOOR, YOUR ARM AIN’T BROKE EVEN IF YOUR BRAIN IS.
If you can be a fucking idiot and vote for Hillary Clinton, I say you can build your own house bitch, much less open a fucking door for yourself.
Chivalry is and always was the STRONG acting to help the WEAK.
As always, a Man-Vention right there. (I add Joan of Ark in there. She did kick ass, but cooked for it)
Respect is earned, not given. The last time I fought a war for a bunch of fucking idiots here in the USA, I decided that everyone can pretty much kiss my Man-Ass as it is. I won’t give you shit, do like me you lazy motherfuckers, WORK FOR IT.
November 1st, 2007 at 2:37 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I really do enjoy King Wang’s posts.
November 1st, 2007 at 3:01 am - IP Man-Hash: e9b33ba281409
haha.
In any case, of course it was directed at Wolfe. It was said primarily for his consideration. It was posted in an open forum, yes. But you seem to imply that my words were spoken (typed) for some kind of smear agenda. Far be it from me to speak in such a way! I speak only truth.
As far as your “pre-frontal cortex”… you could have just as simply said “brain”. Instead, you attempted to prove that you are smarter than me by using words you hoped I wouldn’t know. It’s the psuedo-intellectual form of “nuh uh” or “I know you are but what am I?”
Well, you may know more words about the brain, but I know how to use it. So there.
And my previous statement is still valid.
November 1st, 2007 at 3:06 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
No, I said pre-frontal cortex because that is the area of the brain that is responsible for rational choices (along with other things). So it was in complete relevance to your post. Saying women had brains as well would have been to broad.
November 6th, 2007 at 6:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7fbc83711f69f
YOU ARE AN OVER CONCIDED COCK SUCKER!!!!
November 6th, 2007 at 8:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9ab29a05ec721
Dear Dick,
I think you would be a great dad. Especially to a little girl. I hope you have baby girl that, in her life, will only encounter men such as yourself, who hold the same views. I hope that a man from this site marries your daughter. I hope that she has teachers in school who are of the same beliefs as you. I hope that her little friends are boys from Dad’s like you.
And lastly, may your daughter, daughterS if you are lucky, experience that donky punch which you are teaching and advocating here. Yes, Dick I think you would be a great Dad. Carry on.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c8553e6cee5f
Conceited? No, he isnt. Cock sucking is a woman’s job.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 47434053d31e4
November 7th, 2007 at 10:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 47434053d31e4
irregardless or regardless? Only one is an actual word. I just really do want you to be a king, wang.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 47434053d31e4
November 7th, 2007 at 10:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b55501cead9a
Sarcasm aside, I think Dick would make a great dad. He wont let women slide for their bullshit and actually bring them up right.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 47434053d31e4
Well well, I’m curious to know if you applied any physics to determining which containers would be proper for storing your feces. Clearly it’s an issue when it is another man, much like yourself who is determining what those standards are.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 2e9f52b62c482
There is something called “Objective Truth”. I learnt this from Anon, a guy from Mensa and another contributor of this site. There are certain things which are clearly defined as “right” or “wrong”; the same can be said about the standards that women have failed to pass.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:34 am - IP Man-Hash: e65b63e763a32
All of you “guys” on this site are poor excuses for men, who either cant get any, or just have bad issues with women that you need to deal with. It really is sad
November 7th, 2007 at 11:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 6d3bb32787b07
*test*
November 7th, 2007 at 11:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 7b55501cead9a
That is funny. Now fuck off.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
No matter how many times it makes them look like total idiots, they just keep taking the bait and proving that men are indeed better than women.
November 7th, 2007 at 12:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: fce1c540c690e
Get over yourself Dick you are stupid. This website is pointless. Men and women are both good. You are being ignortant and a idiot
November 7th, 2007 at 3:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5cf796c9a55cb
I think you do this for the attention, were you not loved enough as a child? did your mother not hug you enough? What do you have to say I wonder about the countless number of women that serve in the military and those of us that have fought side by side with men defending our counrty and your very right to have this freedom of speech to bash women as you do I think i can speak for most women when i say go fuck yourself you sad piece of shit.
November 7th, 2007 at 4:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3007b6dd8e33d
alrighty
so i am a WOMEN!!!
yes and i am pround of it now i have one question for u men
if u hate women so much! how do u plane to ahve sex?
i mean the plessure of masturbation cant hold u off forever!
and i wanna know why u dick have so many issues with women ?
is it casue ur ugly?
u have issues getting women?
becasue ur a loser?
casue u get picked on?
or all of the above pluse more?
i mean i am just saying what comes to mind when reading this
and saying that i and the rest of the women are rasict apperently u need a dictionary just casue we have a bad day and dont like what we have to wear or the bitches around dosnt mean shit ok so u mother fucker!
can burn in hell ur more rasect than any women in the worls for being sexest!!
thnx u and i bid u good day’ sir’
November 7th, 2007 at 5:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: d545a8e7217bc
so why do you hate women. is it because you can’t geta girlfriend. i suggest that you give women a chance.
yes women know math.
2 times 4 equals 8 OMG..
so women who are cheating whores chose to cheat and they chose to be a whore. lay off and maybe you’ll be apprecitated
November 7th, 2007 at 5:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3007b6dd8e33d
women are smarrt
we are pretty and
we can give birth
yes pain full but true
if u lived the life of a women for even 1day u would relize are life isnt as great as u would asume!
trust me it is hard but not completly as hard as we make it sem in all are drama
none the less my point her e is we are equal and we are living too so apreceat us and it will al be good
November 7th, 2007 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 665d0dd29112e
I don’t need a man for anything I work, I pay my own bills, I am buying my own car and as for sex all I need is battiers and I don’t need a man to get off either. So as far as I’m concerned YOU are full of shit and I am so glad most men aren’t like you…………….
November 7th, 2007 at 6:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 47eb61ed4a9ca
Hey there everyone. I’ve noticed a pattern with these men’s replies to people’s posts. They seem to have a pretty open ended answer to everything, however, they do not have any solid evidence to support any of their women-bashing claims. It is all their own opinions. And we all know opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. There does not seem to be any facts to back up their arguments.
So, I too disagree with pretty much everything they have said. As for the women hating sex comments; some women do! Why? Various reasons. A main one is that the man is not exactly well equipped or cannot perform up to par. It’s that simple. I’m sure some women out there have other reasons, I just wanted to enlighten some of these thick skulled boys who haven’t grown into real men yet. Yes, I’m talking about you ‘Dick’.
And as for him prefering to be called ‘Dick’,- I’d prefered to be called WonderWoman but I don’t give myself a nickname,I’ve got better things to do. You should look into some type of hobby or activity to occupy your narrow mind.
I read a comment before about someone mentioning the superiority complex. I looked it up and if you’ll read it you will notice some similarities to what ‘Dick’ seems to be suffering from. I got this from wikipedia.
—-\\\\Superiority complex refers to a subconscious neurotic mechanism of compensation developed by the individual as a result of feelings of inferiority. The feelings of inferiority in this specific complex are often brought on by social rejection, possibly as a result of the indivudual’s ugliness, ignorance to hygiene, or generally low intelligence in regard to other people. The term was coined by Alfred Adler (February 7, 1870 – May 28, 1937), as part of his School of Individual psychology.Those exhibiting the superiority complex commonly project their feelings of inferiority onto others they perceive as beneath them, possibly for the same reasons they themselves may have been ostracized, i.e. viewing most, possibly all people as “ugly” or “stupid”, and beneath oneself. Accusations of arrogance and cockiness are often made by others when referring to the individual exhibiting the superiority complex.
Behaviors related to this mechanism may include an exaggeratedly positive opinion of one’s worth and abilities, unrealistically high expectations in goals and achievements for oneself and others, vanity, extravagant style in dressing (with intent of drawing attention), pride, sentimentalism and affected exaltation, snobbishness, a tendency to discredit other’s opinions, forcefulness aimed at dominating those considered as weaker or less important, credulity, and others.\\\\\\====
Does anyone else think that this sounds alot like what these guys have going on? Or perhaps their just plain bored and need to bash women to make themselves feel good for a little while.
November 7th, 2007 at 7:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: ce755f5c8384c
I just have one question for you dick…. can you pull a kid out of you penis. Obviously women were chosen to take part in the miracle of birth because we are not as worthless as you male chouvinist pigs. If you honestly think that you are better than women than show us the accomplishments that you have made in your life that no woman has. You are a pathetic excuse for a man and a complete waste of sperm and space. Your an embarrassment to society and American citizens. If you crossed paths with me you would be squashed like a bug and drowned in your ignorance trying to prove your useless and outrageous opinions. I feel sorry for your mother and the embarrassment you have cast upon her. I would hope that you would never disrespect your mother by kissing her with that dirty mouth of yours.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:49 am - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
Dickhead….You are a joke!!!!
I would love to meet you….in a dark alley…I would show you what a donkey punch is…and trust me..it has nothing to do with sex…you pathetic loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope Dr.Phil is smacking your dumbass around in the Dr.Phil house!
November 8th, 2007 at 11:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
Congratulations on doing something that ever man is expected to do from the very beginning. I’m so proud you have reached adulthood.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
Jennifer, if Dick wanted to he could impregnate you with his eyes, wait 9 months and then beat the shit out you and take your baby as his own.
Think that sounds retarded? Well it sounds just as retarded as you thinking you can go man to man with a man, stupid whore.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
The only joke here karry is your grammar and though process.
November 9th, 2007 at 6:41 am - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
Yeah..okay…my grammer…how about this….FUCK YOU!!!
Hows that for grammer?Ya Dick wanna be.
November 9th, 2007 at 6:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 2e9f52b62c482
The more you post, the more you prove Dick is right. Way to go, continue to run your mouth off.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 2bc7adff75d80
you make me laugh will you’re mentally stunted views.
men are more hairy than women as they are further down the evolution line………….so women no need to worry there brains haven’t yet developed…..lol
November 12th, 2007 at 5:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c990b50515ba
The hairy part is made by hormones you stupid whore.
Their brain haven’t developed yet? Look around you bitch.
Take a look out of your window, everything you see is made by man.
Now can you bitches fuck off from this site you are just proving that Dick is right. Man has always ruled the world after god almighty.
List of most appropriate world rulers.
1 God
2 Man
3 Horse
4 Dog
5 Cat
6 Rat
7 Woman
8 Beatles and other insects.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: e3f07d70d6b89
its ironic your name is dick. asshole.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5fa26bafdd03b
Oh, alright guys! I admit it.
I’m gay!
November 15th, 2007 at 3:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5fa26bafdd03b
Me too! We should get together some time and stick it in each others asses!
November 15th, 2007 at 4:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5fa26bafdd03b
Liek omg!! That is the best idea any man has had! We should suck eachothers cocks too, beacuse woman have cuties!
November 18th, 2007 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: a73b18962b178
I can’t even start by saying how much i laughed reading this. Dick you’re fuckin hilarious and yet so true! and to all the chicks getting pissed about this post. get over it, lots of dudes don’t know the REAL meaning of a donkey punch running around telling their buds it’s when you jizz in a girls mouth and punch her. Dick saves lifes and faces!