Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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You mean bite her ear off?
I don’t think it’s a weakness. I open doors, give up my seat and stuff like that for guys. I also do it for girls, and I’m a girl. Is that chivalry or is that the respect you were talking about?
Agreed Wolfe. Being slapped does not give one the right to act like Mike Tyson.
Lol…ewww
@Savant yeah it’s a weak post IMHO, locker talk or otherwise. (Check out Dick’s more recent post for something mantastic though).
@Vindication - I’ll answer your question to Sony — DV is probably a primarily female affair, at least in terms of instigation of violence. No question, that when a man gets violent he hurts a woman very badly. Check out (if you haven’t) Erin Pizzey’s work on the subject for example.
(http://fathersforlife.org/pizzey/pizzey.htm)
NO ONE SHOULD BE VIOLENT to their spouse/partner. Least of all men.
A man who physically hurts a woman — given that she is weaker and less capable — is less than a man, unless he is defending himself or his children.
By and large men adhere to that.
Women do not appear to, even judging by the well-massaged statistics.
-wolfe
What the fuck was wrong with that woman? And god, fuck that beta joke.
Very well put, Savant. I had some similar things to say a little while ago.
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/not-on-fire-thank-a-man/#comment- 99918
I get so tired of being hit by women, just because they think it’s okay. I had a woman at work slap me the other day because I was standing in her way. I went ahead and visibly took offense, and you know what her response was?
“I’m sorry, it’s a forced habit I have from slapping my boyfriend all the time.”
Wow. Lucky him. O.o
Indeed, the post carries undertones suggesting that domestic violence is wrong.
Ahem.
Wolfe, you are very correct. The donkey punch is neither an “advanced move”, nor a “guess what I did last night?!?” thing. It is possible to do a donkey-punch, but I feel it’s about as likely as what most people think a donkey punch REALLY is. I feel this post falls under locker-talk, rather than serious instruction.
Sonyad, however, raised a valid point. It is natural for men (I don’t know why, but…) to jump to the aid of the “weaker sex”. Even today, many men feel that hitting a woman is “wrong”, that men are “almost always at fault”, and women should be “treated with respect”.
Only a bloody few women merit this consideration. Many women deserve to be smacked, most don’t deserve respect, and most women are always at fault. It’s just WHAT at that particular moment they are at fault for.
Chivalry is a weakness, and an archaic form of mind-control. Common-human respect however, is demanded of any “man”, and hopefully any “woman”. Don’t hit women… or men either. It’s just stupid to pick fights, regardless of sex. However, respond in kind with equal force, if one so chooses to act the fool.
As far as a donkey punch, anyone stupid enough to actually do this deserves what they get.
Why thank you.
Do you imply therein that DV is solely the domain of male perpetrators.
- the chemical brothers - the big jump
Of course not. That would be ignorant.
Do you imply therein that DV is solely the domain of male perpetrators.
- the chemical brothers - the big jump
@Vindication Dick is not for DV. That’s pretty clear, and thanks for reinforcing that.
I still don’t see this as one of his most brilliant moments. That’s all.
Welcome to the site; glad you grasp the gist of it. Enjoy.
-wolfe
After I read it I actually took it as a post against misogyny. If you look at what Dick says and how he says it, I find the main undertone of the entire article to be an attack on men who think violence against women is okay.
Most things men do are mantastic. Domestic violence is not one of them. Dick has illustrated this, satirically though he may have put it. Completely masculine kudos, Dick.
OK this isn’t remotely to my taste. But like one particular PhD commenter on my own site I can’t let incorrect stuff pass by uncorrected.
The concept of the so-called “donkey-punch” is that you disrupt (temporarily) the recipient’s nervous system, causing a radical and involuntary tightening of certain orifices. This is generally done during sex.
It’s mostly done by men to women, though could be done by women to women or women to men or men to men. (The women would have to use artificial assistance, obviously).
It isn’t terribly safe, polite, kind, or anything.
Some women like it. Not bloody many though.
To do so, you have to hit the sacral nerve, above the buttocks, in a very vulnerable portion of the anatomy. It’s easy to damage kidneys or the spine or the nerve itself.
Similarly, you can hit at the base of the skull, but that carries whole dangers of its own, and isn’t as reliable.
Dick is mistaken; it’s nothing much to do with where — sacral or cranial — the nerve is struck, simply the fact that you’re trying to hit a nerve and cause radical temporary disruption.
It’s just not something anyone sensible should do. Or participate in.
Look, if your date wants to be spanked hard (before or during sex)… that’s fine, as long as you both consent, and stick to ‘fleshy areas’. This is a whole different level of perversion and one much more dangerous and likely to land you in jail.
I now feel faintly disgusted in admitting to a level of sexual knowledge I’d rather have concealed… (no, I’ve not participated in this, though I had a gf who wanted me to) and more than a little bemused by the fact that Dick chose this as a post. What is up with that?
-wolfe
I thought it was going to be like bronco style. You start out doing it doggy-style then in the middle of doing it you leen down and wisper in her ear, Your sister likes it this way to, then try and hold on for eight seconds.
Having just read a manual = -50 man-points
Having tried it out = +150 man-points
Having just discovered why they call it a donkey punch = priceless.
So… punch to the ass eh? Not the anus then? More like the buttocks?
And I’ve corrected this portion, ’cause I’m a nice guy:
The Donkey Punch is like the KURGAN. There can be only one.