Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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irregardless or regardless? Only one is an actual word. I just really do want you to be a king, wang.
Conceited? No, he isnt. Cock sucking is a woman’s job.
Dear Dick,
I think you would be a great dad. Especially to a little girl. I hope you have baby girl that, in her life, will only encounter men such as yourself, who hold the same views. I hope that a man from this site marries your daughter. I hope that she has teachers in school who are of the same beliefs as you. I hope that her little friends are boys from Dad’s like you.
And lastly, may your daughter, daughterS if you are lucky, experience that donky punch which you are teaching and advocating here. Yes, Dick I think you would be a great Dad. Carry on.
YOU ARE AN OVER CONCIDED COCK SUCKER!!!!
No, I said pre-frontal cortex because that is the area of the brain that is responsible for rational choices (along with other things). So it was in complete relevance to your post. Saying women had brains as well would have been to broad.
haha.
In any case, of course it was directed at Wolfe. It was said primarily for his consideration. It was posted in an open forum, yes. But you seem to imply that my words were spoken (typed) for some kind of smear agenda. Far be it from me to speak in such a way! I speak only truth.
As far as your “pre-frontal cortex”… you could have just as simply said “brain”. Instead, you attempted to prove that you are smarter than me by using words you hoped I wouldn’t know. It’s the psuedo-intellectual form of “nuh uh” or “I know you are but what am I?”
Well, you may know more words about the brain, but I know how to use it. So there.
And my previous statement is still valid.
I really do enjoy King Wang’s posts.
An egocentric society based on……………female values of looks being more important than anyone/anything else. Most definitely not a Man-Invention what-so-fucking-ever.
That is, after all, why women are Narcissists. They did invent that!
Being nice nowadays cost more in time and energy to some asshole or shithead who won’t pass the Nice Buck anyway, but bitch about how they were treated rudely when they yelled at the waiter for being slow.
I would open the door for a woman (and still do) any time, but if you are too fucking slow to meet me there, you can open your own goddam door, because the government has now forced me to treat you as an equal……SO OPEN YOUR OWN FUCKING DOOR, YOUR ARM AIN’T BROKE EVEN IF YOUR BRAIN IS.
If you can be a fucking idiot and vote for Hillary Clinton, I say you can build your own house bitch, much less open a fucking door for yourself.
Chivalry is and always was the STRONG acting to help the WEAK.
As always, a Man-Vention right there. (I add Joan of Ark in there. She did kick ass, but cooked for it)
Respect is earned, not given. The last time I fought a war for a bunch of fucking idiots here in the USA, I decided that everyone can pretty much kiss my Man-Ass as it is. I won’t give you shit, do like me you lazy motherfuckers, WORK FOR IT.
Because it makes the other person feel special. We live in a really fast paced and egocentric society - which has the harrowing effect of creating low self esteems. It’s nice to think that someone else thinks thinks enough of you to give up a seat for you, or open a door for you.
Oh and I know this was directed at Wolfe,
but, the last time I checked, women also had pre-frontal cortexes.
Clair, why would you give up your seat for anyone, unless they had a valid reason for needing it more than you?
And Wolfe…
Least of all men? Just because women do not possess the mental ability to make rational choices does not mean they are allowed to depart from legal (or in this case) moral accountability.
I understand that because men have the ability to think, we are held to higher standards. This, I agree on. But if women have no ability to function in a society built on manly things like reason, respect, attrition and above all physics, they should be kept in the proper container, like my feces.
-FLUSH-
I like it. Never tried it. I would consider Donkey Punchin’ a hooker though, because at $200 an hour, I gotta get my nut AND try some new shit out.
It’s like Fish Hookin’ her. A man has gotta do what a MAN has to do, irregardless of Man-Points.
That and show them the Pimp Hand.
All a matter of taste.
No, then eat her babies
And then bite her ear off?
Right hook and left uppercut.
You mean bite her ear off?
I don’t think it’s a weakness. I open doors, give up my seat and stuff like that for guys. I also do it for girls, and I’m a girl. Is that chivalry or is that the respect you were talking about?
Agreed Wolfe. Being slapped does not give one the right to act like Mike Tyson.
Lol…ewww
@Savant yeah it’s a weak post IMHO, locker talk or otherwise. (Check out Dick’s more recent post for something mantastic though).
@Vindication - I’ll answer your question to Sony — DV is probably a primarily female affair, at least in terms of instigation of violence. No question, that when a man gets violent he hurts a woman very badly. Check out (if you haven’t) Erin Pizzey’s work on the subject for example.
(http://fathersforlife.org/pizzey/pizzey.htm)
NO ONE SHOULD BE VIOLENT to their spouse/partner. Least of all men.
A man who physically hurts a woman — given that she is weaker and less capable — is less than a man, unless he is defending himself or his children.
By and large men adhere to that.
Women do not appear to, even judging by the well-massaged statistics.
-wolfe