Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
Out of the hundreds of men I have asked, only one has known the true and correct definition of The Donkey Punch.
The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated.
The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it.
Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is.
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have.
The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman.
Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points
…on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points
…while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points
If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you.
The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm.
Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life.
Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun.
What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.
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No, it was definitely T-Bag who brought us that imagery through his strangely twisted interpretation of a comment by Detached.
My first impression from this is that you and he must be lovers, since gayness seems to be so obviously close to your minds. My second impression is that you’re an idiot, for the reason that your final statement makes little or no sense whatsoever. But ok, whatever floats your boat. There’s websites that cater the needs of you two elsewhere on the internet, go jerk off there instead. Spamming our boards with that shit is really quite repulsive.
First of all, the symbolism was awful.
And I think you’ll find it wasn’t T-Bag who brought up the ejaculating eyeballs, it was Detached.
And T-Bag is a guy.
So therefore his comment does not reflect a women’s opinion. Despite the fact that it is hilarious. And I never knew gay couples raised criminals.
Once again, the wonders of symbolism are lost on our little miss… T-bag. There she goes, on another one of her rants about deformities and the superiority of womyn.
I try to respect girls - I really do. I try to think of them as at least equal to me but then they go on talking about ejaculating eyeballs and calling their audience stupid when they do not get a roaring ovation.
T-bag - why is it that statistically a child raised by your boyfriend would be twice LESS likely to end up in jail than one you raised as a couple? Could you help me out on this one, pull up some census information mayhap? You can find mine right here: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums/about3159.html
Surely, the amazing gift of being able to impregnate a woman with your eyes has left Dick with some sort of terrible deformity, I mean like, think of all the organs you would need, you would need testicles, prostates and so many others.
Maybe the reason you’re so hateful towards woman is that they laugh when you try to make love to them with your eyeball? Most likely.
I can only pity you, with your ejaculating pupils.
Yes, it sounds more retarded that you could possibly comprehend, but i’m pretty sure a woman could take out a deformed cripple like Dick.
That was completely irrelevant.
You didn’t answer the question.
This is funny - even though Andy Kaufman did it as Tony Clifton more than 25 years ago.
Corrections
on previous article
in the article http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/donkey-punch/#more-765
The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth.
Dick your right, That is called a jelly doughnut, and that is -100,000 Man Points
And The noted move of
hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her.
Is called a … Punch to the head, nothing special
your still loosing man points.
I am assuming his mommy let his wanker out of the basement so his Tommy……….who the fuck cares? That dude is a fag………..here, suck on THIS……..bitch……….
Wait!
Kitty Carlisle (Match Game ‘72)
“Jimmy goes to BLANK to do BLANK”
Here! Kitty says, “Jimmy goes to TOWN to do Killer’s MOM”.
Or something similar. Damn I miss this shit, Killer, you are as easy a target as your sister on Prom Night………….
What a load of sexually disturbed wankers there are around. Send them all to Iraq to get thier throts slit. Bet you the guys on here on yanks. America is a shit hole
What, has the bitch cast a spell using her Barbie spell kit?
Sidenote: I’ve had a teenage slut type out a spell and email it to me, explaining that ‘now im cursed.’ Have the record somewhere.
Stupid whores pretend like they can suddenly bend reality and physics. It’s all about daddy’s little entitlement cunt feeling like she’s better than me and she can control my life.
Not going to happen, bitch.
PS
Tammy is a fucking stripper name!
I just realized that! Tammy is the kind of slut you request on phone sex, or whatever the men who have superstitions of sluts do when they can’t look a bitch in the face to talk her down.
Pitiful considering how they’re the ones looking up to you, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I hope you bitches enjoy being made into skin suits by the men you deprave. Congratu-fucking-lations. You have your skanky selves to blame, cunt.
Judging from that, you also have waaaay better sense of humour and sarcasm!
Well well well…what a tiny little man you are Dick. I reckon the donkey punch came about because some small Dick Prick like yourself, had to devise a way of ensuring he hadn’t bored his poor conquest to death while boning her!!!!
How does that sit with you little boy?
We women outlive you, outsmart you and outdo you constantly. Prepare to be a lonely little boy for the rest of your miserable existence Dickwad!!
Yeah, how low can women sink? Oh yeah, I forgot - Rockbottom.
Just thought I’d clear that little bit up for you, little miss. You need to stop impersonating gay males - what, do you cross-dress and fantasize about having a dick or something?
Please don’t ask for my address and then call me a coward for not putting personal information on the web.
I like my skin attached to my body, not yours, thank-you-very-much. Really, though, get those desires of yours checked out - even for a western slut with castration fetishes, you’re pretty depraved.
I can’t even start by saying how much i laughed reading this. Dick you’re fuckin hilarious and yet so true! and to all the chicks getting pissed about this post. get over it, lots of dudes don’t know the REAL meaning of a donkey punch running around telling their buds it’s when you jizz in a girls mouth and punch her. Dick saves lifes and faces!
Liek omg!! That is the best idea any man has had! We should suck eachothers cocks too, beacuse woman have cuties!
Me too! We should get together some time and stick it in each others asses!
Oh, alright guys! I admit it.
I’m gay!
its ironic your name is dick. asshole.
The hairy part is made by hormones you stupid whore.
Their brain haven’t developed yet? Look around you bitch.
Take a look out of your window, everything you see is made by man.
Now can you bitches fuck off from this site you are just proving that Dick is right. Man has always ruled the world after god almighty.
List of most appropriate world rulers.
1 God
2 Man
3 Horse
4 Dog
5 Cat
6 Rat
7 Woman
8 Beatles and other insects.