Driving me nuts.

When it comes to the simple task of driving, be it a car, train or fortune 500 company; men are better than women — although to be certain in the final category there has yet to be a group of evidence which is sufficiently large. Am I right business men.

This is for several reasons.

When a man drives anything — even a relationship into the ground which he may choose to do for good reason, he is thinking of only three things: driving, not hitting things, and how to fix problems on a global scale. The third topic may seem overwhelming as such, but as men we have a unique ability to prioritize what we’re thinking about in order to get all jobs done and take care of all outstanding business at maximum efficiency and without cluster fucking everything that we touch. It is this paring that makes us men good at driving. Women, however, are completely different.

All women are aware of the fact that shortly after driving, she will find herself among other people — be it friends, family, or various cashiers; and as selfishly as possibly, a woman is only thinking about the way to best attract attention to herself when she gets to this future spot. What a woman is thinking about as she is driving, is nothing but the opposite. She is thinking about her makeup probably, or how to spin her latest near collision with a similarly out of control woman on the road into a panic-laced tale of woe guaranteed to win her all kinds of delicious sympathy.

Sympathy is a woman’s crack cocaine. She’ll do anything for it. Including driving down a perfectly straight road like a lopsided bowling ball.

Also, the argument that men are not better than women at driving because women are subconsciously doing it on purpose, is not a valid argument.

Related Articles:

47 Responses to “Driving me nuts.”

Pages: [1] 2 3 » Show All

  1. smrtpants Says:

    sonyad said:

    Actually, women are either recklessness coated in incompetence or 20 kmph driveresses coated in incompetence. Either way, they can’t parallel park worth a shit to save their lives.

    Oh, and woe to any vehicle, especially its tranny and clutch disk, driven by women. They treat the bloody stick shift worse than a dildo. By far.

    This is me begging to differ because the last time I checked I was a woman and I once parallel parked in a spot so tight that onlookers from a balcony above actually applauded…granted they had obviously had a ‘few’, but still…

    And just how bad do women tend to treat their toys?

    Hmmm, what does that say about the penis-endowed partners of those who [are lucky enough to] have ‘human plushies’; are you implying that their men cannot keep up with them/keep them satisfied, to the extent that they have no choice but to turn to AA’s to do the trick, over, and over, and over again?

  2. sonyad Says:

    And was it morning when you woke up?

    I ought to drive you someday. She will surely fall clutch over wheels for me.

  3. smrtpants Says:

    Who said anything about sleep?

  4. Golden Says:

    I must add a short story of my own here, from a friend of mine who is a mechanic. Had a women repeatedly coming in to the shop wondering why her engine was screwed. He kept finding the engine clogged up, cleaning it out and sending her on her mindless way. Only after the third time when he sat in the drivers seat and was thinking, ‘what the fuck’ did he notice the woman’s handbag … on the pulled out choke lever! He asked her what that was all about and she said ‘oh it’s a choke? I thought it was for holding my handbag.’ Unbe-fucking-lieveable.

  5. Billy Says:

    Golden said:
    ! He asked her what that was all about and she said ‘oh it’s a choke? I thought it was for holding my handbag.’ Unbe-fucking-lieveable.

    No. Not really unbelievable…

    Shhhhh you can’t wake them up from this dreamworld that they are still the smarter, better looking, more caring people of the world.

    Women are parasitic creatures living in their own little dream world.

  6. diamatik Says:

    Golden said:
    he notice[d] the woman’s handbag … on the pulled out choke lever! He asked her what that was all about and she said ‘oh it’s a choke? I thought it was for holding my handbag.’ Unbe-fucking-lieveable.

    Women should be banned from driving.

  7. wolfe Says:

    Golden is that really true? It’s a good tale, but few cars have been so equipped since the 1960’s.

    (Yes, granted, Honda hung on to that for far too long, even into the 1980’s… but even they didn’t run it as a lever).

    Now, should woman be banned from driving? Good grief no. Just equip their vehicles with governors that limit them to 15 km/h and that possess big pink plastic bumpers. Problem solved.

    -wolfe

  8. sonyad Says:

    And clog up the roads.

    - Chemical Brothers - Shake Break Bounce

  9. diamatik Says:

    Thank you, sonyad. Wolfe, you got pwnd.

  10. wolfe Says:

    @Sony, diamatik, you operate under the mistaken apprehension that women could reliably find main roads, as opposed to those leading to schools, grocery stores and soccer fields.

    Surely you do not suggest they could invade our space with their pink bumpers?

    I must decline pwnage.
    -wolfe

  11. one voice Says:

    everything a women does has been authorised by a man somewhere along the line.

  12. sonyad Says:

    Wolfe, not everywhere on Earth (especially outside the US and Canada) is American Suburbia.

    - Jefferson Airplane - Somebody To Love

  13. wolfe Says:

    sonyad said:
    Wolfe, not everywhere on Earth (especially outside the US and Canada) is American Suburbia.

    Actually, I was thinking of the widely copied autobahn system and the European hypermarché. I think if you look at passenger miles traveled, you will find that women rank fairly lowly on these routes, and do little, even traveling at 15 km/h, to impede the progress of commerce and men.

    -wolfe

  14. BJ Says:

    It’s not women that are so fucked up- it’s americans. Fuck all you yankee red-neck sexist cunts.

  15. BJ Says:

    Dick Masterson said:

    The sentence is spelled that way purposely for effect. It’s a subtle effect, yes, but one that any man would easily have picked up on.

    shut up american fuckwit

  16. sonyad Says:

    Inane BlowJob, please desist your embarrassing presence here.

  17. kristina Says:

    BJ said:

    Dick Masterson said:

    The sentence is spelled that way purposely for effect. It’s a subtle effect, yes, but one that any man would easily have picked up on.

    shut up american fuckwit

    :/I thought Dick was british?

  18. Mansman Says:

    Fuck off, bitch. Men are talking.

    Go off now and play with your illegitimate bastard.

  19. KL Says:

    guy above me is scum!@

  20. Sgt. Reyes Says:

    KL said:

    guy above me is scum!@

    I thought we decided that was you?

    - Sgt. Reyes

Pages: [1] 2 3 » Show All

Leave a Reply


Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis