The Man Billboard — For Real
They told me it was impossible. They told me it was too expensive. They told me it was the stupidest thing they’d ever heard.
They were wrong.
Hold onto your man beans, fellows and gentlemen, while I present the ultimate plan for the ultimate fund raiser: The Man Billboard.
The Man Billboard
The Man Billboard is an erection in the name of manliness. It’s an erection in the name of that special majority of the commuting workforce who actually get the job done every day — and bust their man ass doing it. That majority is called ‘men’. The Man Billboard is also an erection in the face and hair of the of all those chubby-ankled secretaries — those worker she-bees and profemtionals, who do little more at work each day than text message their boyfriends and annoy workmates with perfume, heels, and fuck-ups.
A penny saved is a woman fired.
Most importantly, the Man Billboard is an erection for you: the loyal readers of MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
Feast your eyes on the majesty — the harmony of art and logic what comprise a ‘fuck You’ to 51% of Earth. Then feast your eyes on the donation meter because only you can make it happen.
When I first envisioned the Man Billboard more than a year ago, they told me it was impossible. I’m not talking about women here. Of course women told me it was impossible. Women think losing twenty pounds or getting married after 30 is impossible. Here’s a marriage tip for women over 30: shut the fuck up and quit chopping your hair off at the shoulder. That looks old. Women probably don’t even understand that billboards can be purchased at all. As usual, women prefer an imaginary world. In this case, one where billboards grow naturally and are aware of upcoming movies.
Advertising companies told me it was impossible. And as business usually does, it makes sense. By accepting my money, any advertising company would be subject to a rain of Molotov Tampons or other silly female retaliations — perhaps a barrage of burning paternity suits for children the advertising company didn’t father. If “not my sperm” doesn’t hold up in court anymore, why should “companies don’t have sperm”?
But thanks to me, that’s all changed.
By leveraging the mighty marketing arm of Simon & Schuster — who are owned by CBS, the channel that airs Dr. Phil — I have been given the rare opportunity to erect manliness in a major metropolitan area. All that’s needed is your help.
The goal is $6,000. I will explain why below.
$5,000 - $10,000
If donations total in this range, the Man Billboard will be erected high above the streets of a major metropolitan area for one month. Whenever I think of it, I like to imagine such a manly gesture flying high above the picket line at an abortion clinic. The symbolism is clear. Women can hold signs, but manliness will always fly high in the sky without effort, keeping an eye on everything and consoling women who are making the right decision.
$11,000 - $25,000
This will erect the Man Billboard in a high demand area and/or within sight of a freeway for one month. Think of someplace that typically has a 60-foot tall man in his underwear. Now think of getting some real manliness in that place. Men are better than women.
$25,000+
Time square, the Sunset Strip, just like when having a son, the sky is the limit with this kind of cash.
Manclusion
We’ve all had a good bit of fun over the years here at MenAreBetterThanWomen.com, but now it’s time to take that fun to the world. Give a dollar, give ten, take a collection hat around your office or army base, do whatever you can to fly manliness high and proud.
Kate - $40
jeff - $60
Omny Devi - $300
wolfe - $100
Biff - $50
buster - $100
Robert - $35
Omny Devi - $150
TruthSayer - $50
Rich - $20
Luke - $50
Pedro - $100
Michael - $10
Michael - $20
Guy - $15
Mert - $20
Julius Stronghold - $26
Bryan - $15
James - $25
Regretful Morning - $5
Are Sagebakken - $50
Andrew - $10
jose - $1
Björn - $2
Alex - $1.50
Ryan - $5
Bryan - $10
Sam - $10
bola - $10
Courtney - $1
Anonymous - $1473
Bryan - $10
Mike - $4
Eric - $20
Grewal - $1
June 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 70508d469c148
Desiree, here’s some advice for you: get cactus fucked. It has been known to sort of feministic tendencies.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 70508d469c148
*sort out
June 17th, 2008 at 2:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0fa7b2de314e4
This quote has always worked for me, “They’re all Sluts… Just with different Price tags”
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 54c13c92f6644
hey why not use a giant pic of a womans rack with the website written on it for the billboard pic?
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 am - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
It would cause too many accidents, as people will stare at the billboard into each other. More cleavage exposed on the board, more fatalities on the street below. No brainer here.
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 54c13c92f6644
Yeah wouldn’t it be great? Dick would be a mass murderer. No…. women would be!
June 25th, 2008 at 2:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 2eb3c3c0957bf
What was this great donation that I heard about in D.I.Y.E., #10? In the area of $1400? Please update the man-thermometer.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8042f4c900709
A real American hero…looks like we still have some work ahead of us, though…we here at the EW Times are planning a donation as I write this.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6a73328735fe2
Holy fuck. Much respect to whoever that was. Much respect.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1ea329bdc35
Well, men step up to the plate!!!!! Anonymous - $1473 HE did! Men > women
June 26th, 2008 at 3:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 15bc41ad61710
Donated $4.40.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2
Another reason why the billboard must be done. Honorable men like whoever the Anonymous person is must be given the opportunity to see the glorified emblem of M>W on our highways and/or cities. Or wherever its gonna be placed. The word must spread for all to know!
-♂dBoss iNc.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 64b3872eff470
You know what’s worse? People who have less than half of a mind and the inability to make things that they type with those letters and symbols on their keyboard make sense. Oh, and that includes you.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 am - IP Man-Hash: d708c4f587c1a
Can’t wait for the shit storm this will create when it goes up. Just donated 5$, wish it could be more but starving students need money saved. Come on people every couple bucks adds up, instead of buying a coffee today donate 3$ to the billboard!
July 5th, 2008 at 5:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 913e0d00a031e
Alright, thats just too fucking epic. I just gave 20 bucks to the cause, which is my internet…s porn allowance for the month. I’ll donate more in the future as I get more, but by dammit, Its the least I can do for such a great idea. Men are better than women.
Dick is man of the century.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 7902754f83426
The only problem with that statement, men and women have sex TOGETHER. For every slut, there’s that slutty male.
Isn’t hypocrisy wonderful?
Practice what you preach.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:37 am - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
Nonsense, the guy doesn’t get paid. He’s the one paying.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:37 am - IP Man-Hash: ae5ee8d385510
Wrong Jenny Doe
Men dont expect a payment to be made form having sex with women only women expect that. You are hipocrit indeed.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 26ae30c2e799b
@JANE DOE
Tell me, is the view any good from the cheap seats??????
Fuck , you’re stupid.
THERE ARE ONLY TWO RIGHT REASONS TO HAVE SEX.
1. PLEASURE
and
2. REPRODCUTION.
Men ALWAYS have sex for those two reasons. ALWAYS.
—->> WOMEN DO NOT.
Women need ANOTHER reason to fuck.
They have sex for the WRONG reasons.
• Money.
• Because she stupid enough to think sex = Love.
• Because its Valentines Day.
• Because she hates being single.
• Because she loves the attention.
• Because he bought her a bracelet.
• To get back at a girlfriend of hers.
• To steal a married man for herself.
• To trap a man by getting pregnant on purpose.
. . . . . and the endless list WRONG reasons women fuck goes on , and on, and on.
Some women will actually expect to get away with NOT fucking a man
UNTIL she gets her bullshit reasons met FIRST.
WOMEN DON’T FUCK FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. –>> MEN DO.
And thats the very big fucking difference.
Take your head out of your ass, jane . . . and grow a clue.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: e83e90d8f1eeb
I made an interesting experience. Yesterday, I put an ad on Craig List in my area. I offered to mentor fat women to help them lose weight. I said I would tell them what people think of them without sugar coating, that I would humiliate them, spank them, and maybe give them sex when they reach goals in losing weight. I basically told them I would treat them like fat slobs.
I got 5 women interested in 24 hours. All want to be treated like shit as long as they can use it to lose weight. 2 of them are only like 30 pounds overweight. One of them is too far away from my location and said I should open a franchise in her area, or if I pass by, to please call her. All of them sent pictures, 2 of them phone numbers.
Amazing…