Happy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in and also are “0″; birthdays are not a big deal.
A woman once told me that I had to be nicer to her because it was her “birthday week.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Men are better than women at having birthdays. Men are so much better than women at birthdays that I don’t even know when my birthday is.
If the government required everyone to take a test before they could vote, question number two would be, “Is your birthday a holiday?”
“Like…it should be!”
Fail. Head down to TGI Fridays, you jokey bitch. Your meal ticket is on his third Jack and Coke.
Women suck at birthdays for the same reason they suck at everything in life. They’re annoying and full of shit.
Women are Annoying
I’m not talking about the kind of annoying I am when I go from a three-martini business lunch to an art gallery and sound like an insightful air raid siren. That’s called being mannoying and it’s awesome. It’s fueled by alcohol.
Women are annoying like a Swiss Army knife.
On a Swiss Army knife, every nook and cranny of the tool has a specific purpose that is designed to get the job done. On a woman, every single one of her behaviors is engineered to get as much attention as possible. Crying, obnoxious laughter, constant screw ups, make-up, boob jobs, date rape; they’re all unique female methods of accomplishing the same thing: pumping attention into their veins like it’s a vaccine for turning 24.
To a woman, a birthday is just another excuse to plant her fat, obnoxious foot in the unmarred schedule of your life and suck as much attention out of your wallet as she can.
Women are Full of Shit
No man has ever wanted to get inside a woman’s head, but if you ever do, follow this simple guide.
For an entire day, after every single thing you do, talk about how difficult it was but how you still managed to do it. If you got out of bed, take a moment to say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” After you brush your teeth say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” When you have a birthday say, “That was a hard year, but I did it. Good for fucking me!”
Women don’t have accomplishments. They just have after parties. Coffee breaks, birthdays, a new outfit for the gym to celebrate her second week of working out!
Women are so busy patting themselves on the back, they don’t have time to be useful.
Question number one would be, “How big is your penis?”
Related Articles:
April 27th, 2008 at 10:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: c1d486be773ed
Women will grab anything as a reason to take one or more days off. It’s also when their dog has died or when their child graduates, etc. It’s because in their nature, they’d rather not work but sit at home.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 124bdd468dcb6
A phenomenal post *applause*
April 27th, 2008 at 11:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: ea237ab3d0e1d
>> No man has ever wanted to get inside a woman’s head
Isn’t this called “blow job”?
April 27th, 2008 at 11:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 921c38c0d8c30
BA DA DA DUM, CHING!!!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 8:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 3c2d0e0d6c07e
Truth.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: a74c88570a16c
I like your style
April 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0dc165cbbf625
You, sir, win the internet.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2
Swiss Army Knives are quite handy. Women on the other hand, are quite handful…
April 28th, 2008 at 6:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2bf9071d7785e
“Happy birthday to you!” *Family Sings*
Spoiled girl: ITS RED!!!!!!!! DAD ITS RED!!!!!!!!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: cae0b50d12f92
Just to touch on the ‘date rape’ part… A wise man once said: “Consent is established when a man decides to have sex.”
April 28th, 2008 at 7:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0946f297483d8
Wow, that little bitch is the quintessential self centered woman.
I’d rape that little slut until stoped being a bitch.
I’d also titty fuck that bitch and leave a skid mark on her stomach.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1015a4083116b
To see how much teenage girls like birthdays you should see the VH1/Mtv ’s Sweet sixteen celebration.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: e71b0bd4fc979
yup she is just like all the fucked up bitches i have date good for one thing fuck em then dump em….
April 28th, 2008 at 8:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec24f76198567
This is alright video; and the chick is ok! only she has beautiful boobs!!lol…, i know we men have lots of standards to pick up a woman, and there’s one website that can almost meet all our different demands: __Tallmingle.c o m__ my bros told me this; it worked for them, it worked for me; and i’m sure it’s gonna work for u, buddy!!
April 28th, 2008 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11c2a6593052a
That girl in the video is “Every Woman”…. Seriously, anyone woman that claims they’ve never thrown a tantrum like that is a fucking liar. It is typical though, you do something nice for them and all they do is whine and complain.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0ccfb0180d42a
Holy shit, that is one spoiled little bitch! If I was her mother I would slap her.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0836ce0b8e9d9
gtfo, you wapanese.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4144e596343d7
Anglo-American teen-aged girls really are entitled public enemy number one. They need a years’ public service sweeping the streets.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: a09182ecba5d2
Honestly, fucking wankers.
That girl should get raped for her birthday. Hell, Ill pay a little bit, and you can put my name on that card.
April 29th, 2008 at 4:25 am - IP Man-Hash: ced2699915e0b
Slapping is too good for that little brat. THIS is what happens when you don’t SPANK your kids that OBVIOUSLY need it - they grow up into these whiny little whores with princess complexes that think the world OWES them something just for showing up. Well guess what, Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong? NOBODY gets rewarding simply for existing, having nice tits, having the perfect smile, ad infinitum, ad nauseum… and you DEFINITELY don’t DESERVE it!
Fuck you and everyone like you - I’m GLAD your birthday party is “ruined”! What a brat!!
April 29th, 2008 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: a7c107c4375bb
That mother proves the point… she should knock the living hell out of that little spoiled bitch and end the whole problem. Instead she confirms the fact that SHE messed up the little bitches party. What a waste of life… both of them.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 9381e9b8501a0
That video makes me so mad!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:03 am - IP Man-Hash: ef01bede7f943
They should make a movie like this: Honey I single mother’d the kids.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6d2bcc78aa95d
I wonder when all the bitches will show up and defend her? I cant wait to read how they justify her shitty behavior…
April 29th, 2008 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: e6e0a716d8c3d
Fuck, i can’t see the vid. Fuckin shit browser. Can someone give me the link?
April 29th, 2008 at 10:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1116c5effdf1d
Props!
April 30th, 2008 at 12:06 am - IP Man-Hash: fee8e56f5e83c
I blame the stupid mom. She should of beaten the fuck out of her .
wait, is that a single mother?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 21b6ef3e0a30a
^^^^^^ WTF?? NO! dont lay the blame on the mum, how about the snot nosed, shitty, bitch faced, spoilt bitch face of a 15 yo she has for a daughter.
God..is it normal, that that made me REALLY angry??
April 30th, 2008 at 9:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 5e3b0a85c96af
The mother didn’t give her daughter any kind of consequences for her ridiculously spoiled rotten behavior. The mom is totally to blame, she raised a spoiled rotten little brat.
If one of my sons did that to me or their father, there would be NO party, NO car, NO nothing. The only thing they would have to look forward to is sitting in their room that was striped of all of their privileges….for a very long time.
April 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: b1c805e7bd641
Wow. This is what the modern child is like. This is why I’ll soank and DISCIPLINE my kids. Arrest me fo rabuse if you want, but they WILL be spanked.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a074b6031993
I fear this, and other videos like these, are being watched by the denizens of Islamic culture, which makes them want to “slit our throats” (with thanks to SOTS) even more. Depressing.
BTW, the singer in the background ( Micheal Stipe, REM) is a homosexual, as this is being discussed in many threads.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
God, who gives a shit - it’s a spoiled ass fifteen year old girl. Wow, these articles are getting really laime when you show a “sweet sixteen” video to prove the women suck at birthdays. All teenagers are retarded! You want to see a woman who’s birthday is a living hell for everyone around her, you need to meet my mother. Haven’t you all seen the teenage boys on these shows, there just as rediculous. It’s a show people; if it was a normal, nice kid having a birthday party at thier parents house, I don’t think it would get a lot of ratings.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
OMG, that is IRON CLAD EVIDENCE!!!!
How no manhole! What’s going on?
April 30th, 2008 at 6:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
Notin’, my dear. Just sitting back with a beer and watching Commissar Scott and , er, her, bitch-slap each other. Yea I know, pretty pathetic. Better crack open another, put some Cold Play on the stereo….
April 30th, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
@Copstash- If you don’t know, click on the “Comments (RSS)” under Meta and watch the fights scroll before your very eyes….
April 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
OK, I’ll do that.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Ahhh, same old same old
Here’s my summary:
Anglo Saxon, fuck, Hitler, cheeseburgers, yankee, …………………oh yeah, lets not forget cunt.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8217966eacde5
Yup. Its pretty clear that Commander was not been raised in the US for two reasons: 1.) he says the words “bloody” and “arse” and 2.) hes not a very creative insulter. No wonder the US gets most of the Nobel Prizes these’s days.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Nice talkn’, but I gotta go. Try to get back to you later
April 30th, 2008 at 7:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3244d0d3a9215
is it just me, or i really want to beat the crap of both the mother; for raising a spoiled brat who will be a slutty whore that doesnt give crap to the society; and the spoiled slut…or maybe if Mr. T. does it, it would be a lot better.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7
Good observation there, kiddo. But I think he skipped cheeseburgers this time.
Bummer.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: c582593fbcdab
Who the fuck cares if Michael Stipes is a homosexual? What do muslims have to do with this? The point of this article is how spoiled and unappreciative and stupid women are and Dick showed a video of a lady-in-the-making. Is “no manhole” a woman adding useless shit dribble to an article with incredible implications? He must be, and to prove it he got into a scuffle with another woman “cop stash”. “No manhole” and “Cop stash” should go to the fucking nazi racist feminist websites they are used to frequenting. We don’t need your biggotry here ladies.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: d95284a9106fb
That’s because they are boys. No one gives a shit if parents beat up boys. However, I’m sure that if you had daughters you’d pamper and spoil the little bitches to death, and you’d let them have whatever parties they want
P Coderch.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 83a63482c144a
Did you read the first part of my post? I was saying the mother should have punished that girl.
I GIVE A SHIT if parents beat up their little boys. I love my sons, I would DIE for them and do whatever it took to make their lives easier.
They are my main reasons for coming onto MABTW. They are too little to voice their opinions….so I will do it for them.
Make no mistake, if I had a daughter I would NOT spoil and pamper her. I would teach her to respect others and herself.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 21b6ef3e0a30a
KEB NO! STAY AWAY FROM P CODERCH!
May 1st, 2008 at 7:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 83a63482c144a
Will do Clair….the whole “don’t give a shit about boys” upset me. I love my boys more than my very own life.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7
I think where most parents are dropping the ball these days is that they don’t discipline their kids when they’re young. If a toddler does something naughty, at first it’s “cute” or “funny,” then when they get older and set in their ways, then it becomes too much effort to discipline. The kid just keeps getting worse and worse.
Not talking anything crazy here, but a few minutes in the “naughty corner” can do wonders, applied consistently and fairly.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 8aaa53a9a008d
I agree Lynn. With my two older boys (7, 6) I take away privileges.
You HAVE to stay consistent or it never will work.
When I say you are grounded then they know I mean business. Of course they are not perfect and they do test me from time to time, but for the most part they are good boys.
With my little one ( he’s three) we usually put him to bed when he starts to pitch a fit. The key is consistency.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Yes, that article has really incredible implications. So sorry to insult this article that you found so ground breaking and pivitol………. What the hell are you talking about anyway? A fifteen year old girl screaming because she didn’t like her car, oh yeah, all of us can relate to that and now become better, more adjusted people as a result. How does something so stupid and pointless evolve into racism, nazi’s and biggotry? Please explain, let me know how I, and no manhole, are nazis, feminists, racists, and biggots - in no particular order. Please explain.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 984d2faf2ac07
Nobody cares if littles boys are beaten, is this guy living on earth?
Last I checked, child abusers get hit pretty hard, reguardless of the sex of the child. I personaly have never heard of a judge saying “Oh you visciously beat and raped a little boy, ………well thats just fine! Shoo, that good thing it wasn’t a girl or you would hurt’n.” Do you actualy have some kind of basis for that remark?
May 1st, 2008 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
My god you are a fuckin’ dope. My concern with the video is that it publicizes an image of the United States to the rest of the world that reinforces the stereotype that our enemies (Islamic and otherwise) have of us: that all Americans are a bunch of decadent, materialistic spoiled brats. This is of course false, and I believe the US has a terrible image problem. I think I have the right to make that point. All you did in your post is criticize the poster, blister-hand Luke idiot.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4144e596343d7
Google Pretty White Girl Syndrome. Far more media/Police time is expended on a crime victim if they are:
1. Female
2. White
3. Young
4. Attractive
5. Sexually innocent.
Why should I pay tax to the Police if they only bother about my enemies (young Anglo-American women)? I think the Police should only get tax funding from women if they only protect women.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
Have you been out of the U.S. before? For the most part, other countries don’t have a problem with the American people, they have a negative view of the American government. All of that [everyone thinks Americans are fat and stupid] is media driven crap. Sure, they think that too, but that is not why enemies want to kill us. What the fuck go learn about your government and what they’ve been doing. Foreigners think American individuals are as nice and polite and charitable as can be, and its true. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, that was a fucking dumb statement. We are not viewed as materialistic, per se, but as a very individualistic people. That focus on the ’self’ may be synonymous with materialism, though, in some cases. Regardless, go get some stamps on your passport before you begin spewing boring political rhetoric.
By the way, the video has been removed so I haven’t watched it, thus I have nothing to say in reference to it or your opinion about it. I was just bothered by your blatant ignorance of reality. Its not completely your fault; you are just a woman, after all.
{Calm down; just a joke. You’re probably a dude, anyway. But if you’re an American, it wouldn’t really make a difference.}
Take care
May 13th, 2008 at 8:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: e5ad81745f47e
Oh super! until they grow a set of balls and acquire mighty man logic your plan will be un-foiled!
PS: I have a clear conscience knowing you are raising the next generation of cereal killers and mass murderers. ty ty!
May 14th, 2008 at 11:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 684dc3fb0c638
My husband has mighty man logic, so having said that…..I have a clear conscience knowing that how WE raise our sons, that they will NOT be cereal killers or mass murderers, but intelligent, successful, happy and outstanding gentlemen…..like their father!!!
May 14th, 2008 at 11:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a074b6031993
Don’t let them be “cereal” killers or “serial” killers. The former, if carried out on Fruit Loops and Count Chocola, can lead to Type II Diabetes. Now that’s a chronic disease that’s a total pisser.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 684dc3fb0c638
Ha ha ha, oh my goodness *snort*….I’m such a loon and a terrible speller!!! If it counts…he typed cereal first!
Where is Commander Scott…off with my head!
p.s. I’ll get you back….=)
May 14th, 2008 at 11:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 684dc3fb0c638
*serial….dang it!
May 14th, 2008 at 12:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a074b6031993
Well I misspelled “orangutan” earlier and got the correct spelling from you, so were even. Its pretty bad to blow a spelling during an insult, which I’ve done on countless occasions.
I better sign off to you. I don’t want to arouse the “Fuck off this site, cunt” stuff from C Scott and his trusty sidekick Panda.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 684dc3fb0c638
No worries about Commander. He is nothing more to me that a screaming version of Yosemite Sam. oooooooo DIE you varmint! But, I suspect he looks more like Elmer Fudd.
May 14th, 2008 at 1:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7
Maybe it’s a combination of both, where they get a free mini butcher knife at the bottom of each box?