Happy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in and also are “0″; birthdays are not a big deal.
A woman once told me that I had to be nicer to her because it was her “birthday week.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Men are better than women at having birthdays. Men are so much better than women at birthdays that I don’t even know when my birthday is.
If the government required everyone to take a test before they could vote, question number two would be, “Is your birthday a holiday?”
“Like…it should be!”
Fail. Head down to TGI Fridays, you jokey bitch. Your meal ticket is on his third Jack and Coke.
Women suck at birthdays for the same reason they suck at everything in life. They’re annoying and full of shit.
Women are Annoying
I’m not talking about the kind of annoying I am when I go from a three-martini business lunch to an art gallery and sound like an insightful air raid siren. That’s called being mannoying and it’s awesome. It’s fueled by alcohol.
Women are annoying like a Swiss Army knife.
On a Swiss Army knife, every nook and cranny of the tool has a specific purpose that is designed to get the job done. On a woman, every single one of her behaviors is engineered to get as much attention as possible. Crying, obnoxious laughter, constant screw ups, make-up, boob jobs, date rape; they’re all unique female methods of accomplishing the same thing: pumping attention into their veins like it’s a vaccine for turning 24.
To a woman, a birthday is just another excuse to plant her fat, obnoxious foot in the unmarred schedule of your life and suck as much attention out of your wallet as she can.
Women are Full of Shit
No man has ever wanted to get inside a woman’s head, but if you ever do, follow this simple guide.
For an entire day, after every single thing you do, talk about how difficult it was but how you still managed to do it. If you got out of bed, take a moment to say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” After you brush your teeth say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” When you have a birthday say, “That was a hard year, but I did it. Good for fucking me!”
Women don’t have accomplishments. They just have after parties. Coffee breaks, birthdays, a new outfit for the gym to celebrate her second week of working out!
Women are so busy patting themselves on the back, they don’t have time to be useful.
Question number one would be, “How big is your penis?”
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April 28th, 2008 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: a74c88570a16c
I like your style
April 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0dc165cbbf625
You, sir, win the internet.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2
Swiss Army Knives are quite handy. Women on the other hand, are quite handful…
April 28th, 2008 at 6:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2bf9071d7785e
“Happy birthday to you!” *Family Sings*
Spoiled girl: ITS RED!!!!!!!! DAD ITS RED!!!!!!!!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: cae0b50d12f92
Just to touch on the ‘date rape’ part… A wise man once said: “Consent is established when a man decides to have sex.”
April 28th, 2008 at 7:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0946f297483d8
Wow, that little bitch is the quintessential self centered woman.
I’d rape that little slut until stoped being a bitch.
I’d also titty fuck that bitch and leave a skid mark on her stomach.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1015a4083116b
To see how much teenage girls like birthdays you should see the VH1/Mtv ’s Sweet sixteen celebration.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: e71b0bd4fc979
yup she is just like all the fucked up bitches i have date good for one thing fuck em then dump em….
April 28th, 2008 at 8:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec24f76198567
This is alright video; and the chick is ok! only she has beautiful boobs!!lol…, i know we men have lots of standards to pick up a woman, and there’s one website that can almost meet all our different demands: __Tallmingle.c o m__ my bros told me this; it worked for them, it worked for me; and i’m sure it’s gonna work for u, buddy!!
April 28th, 2008 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11c2a6593052a
That girl in the video is “Every Woman”…. Seriously, anyone woman that claims they’ve never thrown a tantrum like that is a fucking liar. It is typical though, you do something nice for them and all they do is whine and complain.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0ccfb0180d42a
Holy shit, that is one spoiled little bitch! If I was her mother I would slap her.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0836ce0b8e9d9
gtfo, you wapanese.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4144e596343d7
Anglo-American teen-aged girls really are entitled public enemy number one. They need a years’ public service sweeping the streets.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: a09182ecba5d2
Honestly, fucking wankers.
That girl should get raped for her birthday. Hell, Ill pay a little bit, and you can put my name on that card.
April 29th, 2008 at 4:25 am - IP Man-Hash: ced2699915e0b
Slapping is too good for that little brat. THIS is what happens when you don’t SPANK your kids that OBVIOUSLY need it - they grow up into these whiny little whores with princess complexes that think the world OWES them something just for showing up. Well guess what, Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong? NOBODY gets rewarding simply for existing, having nice tits, having the perfect smile, ad infinitum, ad nauseum… and you DEFINITELY don’t DESERVE it!
Fuck you and everyone like you - I’m GLAD your birthday party is “ruined”! What a brat!!
April 29th, 2008 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: a7c107c4375bb
That mother proves the point… she should knock the living hell out of that little spoiled bitch and end the whole problem. Instead she confirms the fact that SHE messed up the little bitches party. What a waste of life… both of them.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 9381e9b8501a0
That video makes me so mad!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:03 am - IP Man-Hash: ef01bede7f943
They should make a movie like this: Honey I single mother’d the kids.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6d2bcc78aa95d
I wonder when all the bitches will show up and defend her? I cant wait to read how they justify her shitty behavior…
April 29th, 2008 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: e6e0a716d8c3d
Fuck, i can’t see the vid. Fuckin shit browser. Can someone give me the link?