Happy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in and also are “0″; birthdays are not a big deal.
A woman once told me that I had to be nicer to her because it was her “birthday week.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Men are better than women at having birthdays. Men are so much better than women at birthdays that I don’t even know when my birthday is.
If the government required everyone to take a test before they could vote, question number two would be, “Is your birthday a holiday?”
“Like…it should be!”
Fail. Head down to TGI Fridays, you jokey bitch. Your meal ticket is on his third Jack and Coke.
Women suck at birthdays for the same reason they suck at everything in life. They’re annoying and full of shit.
Women are Annoying
I’m not talking about the kind of annoying I am when I go from a three-martini business lunch to an art gallery and sound like an insightful air raid siren. That’s called being mannoying and it’s awesome. It’s fueled by alcohol.
Women are annoying like a Swiss Army knife.
On a Swiss Army knife, every nook and cranny of the tool has a specific purpose that is designed to get the job done. On a woman, every single one of her behaviors is engineered to get as much attention as possible. Crying, obnoxious laughter, constant screw ups, make-up, boob jobs, date rape; they’re all unique female methods of accomplishing the same thing: pumping attention into their veins like it’s a vaccine for turning 24.
To a woman, a birthday is just another excuse to plant her fat, obnoxious foot in the unmarred schedule of your life and suck as much attention out of your wallet as she can.
Women are Full of Shit
No man has ever wanted to get inside a woman’s head, but if you ever do, follow this simple guide.
For an entire day, after every single thing you do, talk about how difficult it was but how you still managed to do it. If you got out of bed, take a moment to say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” After you brush your teeth say, “That was hard, but I did it. Good for me!” When you have a birthday say, “That was a hard year, but I did it. Good for fucking me!”
Women don’t have accomplishments. They just have after parties. Coffee breaks, birthdays, a new outfit for the gym to celebrate her second week of working out!
Women are so busy patting themselves on the back, they don’t have time to be useful.
Question number one would be, “How big is your penis?”
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Men are much better than women !!!
Marriage is only for gays and lesbians!!!!
What are you, gay or something?
Fear my vagina of doom!
SOMETHING.
Its called –>> BETTER THAN YOU.
Your sad “vagina of doom” is not something a man would ever fear. Its a worthless commodity which has no impact on anyone. Remember this for the rest of your miserable.
No man will ever “NEED” —>> YOUR vagina.
So you can stop pretending.
Menaredefinitelybetterthanwomen.
That article makes so much sense. And women know it.
hey clair, men arent better than women. men are just better than you!
“Say your prayers varmint”……
Ever watch Beavis and Butthead? Beavis used to get extremely hyperactive after guzzling gallons of sugar-filled Yoo-hoo like chocolate drink, and as his alter-ego “Cornholio”, threatened people in a half-crazed state. In light of the fact that C Scott appears to post in bursts, I’m wondering if this is how he might wind himself up before one of his anti-female diatribes? Maybe he got his inspiration from the show? Life imitating art, perhaps.
Quite frankly, the thought of C. Scott’s stained-covered T shirt thrown over his head ala Beavis, revealing his corpulence, makes me want to puke:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/austenmk/cornholio.gif
Maybe a serially posting, serial cereal killer? Seriously.
Somebody, somewhere in the internet universe is screaming right now…..
I’m assuming there is nothing worse than a serial, cereal killer. =P
Maybe it’s a combination of both, where they get a free mini butcher knife at the bottom of each box?
No worries about Commander. He is nothing more to me that a screaming version of Yosemite Sam. oooooooo DIE you varmint! But, I suspect he looks more like Elmer Fudd.
Well I misspelled “orangutan” earlier and got the correct spelling from you, so were even. Its pretty bad to blow a spelling during an insult, which I’ve done on countless occasions.
I better sign off to you. I don’t want to arouse the “Fuck off this site, cunt” stuff from C Scott and his trusty sidekick Panda.
*serial….dang it!
Ha ha ha, oh my goodness *snort*….I’m such a loon and a terrible speller!!! If it counts…he typed cereal first!
Where is Commander Scott…off with my head!
p.s. I’ll get you back….=)
Don’t let them be “cereal” killers or “serial” killers. The former, if carried out on Fruit Loops and Count Chocola, can lead to Type II Diabetes. Now that’s a chronic disease that’s a total pisser.
My husband has mighty man logic, so having said that…..I have a clear conscience knowing that how WE raise our sons, that they will NOT be cereal killers or mass murderers, but intelligent, successful, happy and outstanding gentlemen…..like their father!!!
Oh super! until they grow a set of balls and acquire mighty man logic your plan will be un-foiled!
PS: I have a clear conscience knowing you are raising the next generation of cereal killers and mass murderers. ty ty!
Have you been out of the U.S. before? For the most part, other countries don’t have a problem with the American people, they have a negative view of the American government. All of that [everyone thinks Americans are fat and stupid] is media driven crap. Sure, they think that too, but that is not why enemies want to kill us. What the fuck go learn about your government and what they’ve been doing. Foreigners think American individuals are as nice and polite and charitable as can be, and its true. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, that was a fucking dumb statement. We are not viewed as materialistic, per se, but as a very individualistic people. That focus on the ’self’ may be synonymous with materialism, though, in some cases. Regardless, go get some stamps on your passport before you begin spewing boring political rhetoric.
By the way, the video has been removed so I haven’t watched it, thus I have nothing to say in reference to it or your opinion about it. I was just bothered by your blatant ignorance of reality. Its not completely your fault; you are just a woman, after all.
{Calm down; just a joke. You’re probably a dude, anyway. But if you’re an American, it wouldn’t really make a difference.}
Take care
Google Pretty White Girl Syndrome. Far more media/Police time is expended on a crime victim if they are:
1. Female
2. White
3. Young
4. Attractive
5. Sexually innocent.
Why should I pay tax to the Police if they only bother about my enemies (young Anglo-American women)? I think the Police should only get tax funding from women if they only protect women.
My god you are a fuckin’ dope. My concern with the video is that it publicizes an image of the United States to the rest of the world that reinforces the stereotype that our enemies (Islamic and otherwise) have of us: that all Americans are a bunch of decadent, materialistic spoiled brats. This is of course false, and I believe the US has a terrible image problem. I think I have the right to make that point. All you did in your post is criticize the poster, blister-hand Luke idiot.
Nobody cares if littles boys are beaten, is this guy living on earth?
Last I checked, child abusers get hit pretty hard, reguardless of the sex of the child. I personaly have never heard of a judge saying “Oh you visciously beat and raped a little boy, ………well thats just fine! Shoo, that good thing it wasn’t a girl or you would hurt’n.” Do you actualy have some kind of basis for that remark?