Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage

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Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.

For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.

The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out.

The biggest fear of every married man is going to bed next to a prom queen and waking up next to a blue ribbon sow.

I get my bacon from the butcher, thank you very much.

How Fat Can She Go?

A great way to tell how fat your future spouse is going to be, is by gaging just how obsessed she is with your wedding. If she can’t go a day without mentioning it, expect a spare tire. If she can’t go a meal, expect a spare truck tire. If she can’t go ten minutes without fiddling with her engagement ring, you’d better stock the Bridal Suite with a few cartons of Tasty Cakes and Ding Dongs. Otherwise, you might not get out alive.

Bridal magazines are also something to beware of. Women can consume entire trays of cookies while reading bridal magazines and not even have noticed. They fall under some kind of fat-hypnosis while looking at pictures of floral patterns and matching white flowers to white gowns. Wedding magazines are like activity coloring books for kids. There’s no words and nothing of any educational value, except with bridal magazines, the only activity that gets done is eating.

When a woman awakes from her stupor, only crumbs remain to tell the tale.

Every wedding planner adds at least twenty pounds to your future ex-wife’s girth; every limo adds two. Every time you have the “DJ vs band” conversation, you just put your 40-year-old self in the sack with a another chin.

Dick Tip

Here’s a Dick Tip for those of you confused enough to get married in the upcoming year. Just like you can put adultery in a prenup, your spouse cheating on you with her friends Ben and Jerry can also be grounds for divorce. Put a ten pound leash on her. Just because it’s on, doesn’t mean you have to yank the shit out of it. It’s called being honest and setting a precedent. When it comes to fatness, you need to start doing both as soon as possible.

Fat girls are obsessed with marriage in the same way poor people power the lottery. Being valued as a person is something a fat girl has given up on long ago. And why shouldn’t she? Even if some fat broad has just as much personal worth as she thinks she does, everyone would still rather have the skinny version around — even the environment would appreciate that. Rarely does one need to “weigh something down” in this modern world.

Fat girls power the Infernal Machine of desperation and hype that drives the wedding industry. Skinny girls don’t really need a wedding. They’re skinny. They can get free shit without a ring. Skinny girls only think they need a wedding because fat girls have been cramming the fantasy down their throats since the day they were born — as soon as they realized the donuts weren’t taking.

Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness. Don’t leave your daughters alone with them.

If N. W. Ayer can make diamonds a key ingredient in marriage, I can make marriage something only fat girls do. All I need is a billion T-shirts and a silo of glitter.

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166 Responses to “Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage”

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  1. MansVoice Says:

    C said:

    That is one reason the title of this website is so fucking funny to me. Men like to compete to see who is the best. I am not competitive at all.

    Exactly. If women cannot reach the level of competition that a man plays his game, they shouldnt be talking shit about equality.

    TheHammer said:
    Another typical sidestep of the gender that can’t face the truth.

    Yeah, women are fucking delusional. They think that if they bang their heads against a brick wall contineously, it will eventually give way. Fuck. Men > Women.

  2. Beer, beer and more beer!! Says:

    Jen, she got so pissed because she pulled that “Why won’t you be WITH me” shit!! We’d only fucked a few times, and it was fun, a good time was had by all, but she wanted a (ewwwww, I just threw up in my mouth!!) RELATIONSHIP!!! I said no (which she already knew) got pissed, flipped out, threw out the pizza then kicked me out.

    I totally agree with TruthSayer, when it comes to competition women get all fucking stupid and fuzzy. They feel bad that they will win a race against another woman with one leg, so they let the one-legged woman win. Then they all hug and cry when the race s over.

    With men, you just sack up!! It’s always a competition, but in the end we don’t feel the need to hug or cry, we just enjoy that fact that we are number 1, roister in it, go have some beers then go fuck some chick.

    MansVoice, do women ever REALLY win anything?

  3. Clair Says:

    Beer, beer and more beer!! said:

    Jen, she got so pissed because she pulled that “Why won’t you be WITH me” shit!! We’d only fucked a few times, and it was fun, a good time was had by all, but she wanted a (ewwwww, I just threw up in my mouth!!) RELATIONSHIP!!! I said no (which she already knew) got pissed, flipped out, threw out the pizza then kicked me out.

    Unless she knew you didn’t want a relationship in the beginning, then I can’t blame her. I woulda been full on cut if I was with some guy and then he turns around and go’s “Nah, I don’t like you, nice booty though. Catch ya round”.

  4. MansVoice Says:

    Beer, beer and more beer!! said:

    MansVoice, do women ever REALLY win anything?

    Against men? Fuck, no. Don’t get me wrong; Marie Curie is smart but she is no-where near the league of Einstein and the greats of science.

    Against themselves? Maybe.

  5. Risk Says:

    Clair said:

    Unless she knew you didn’t want a relationship in the beginning, then I can’t blame her. I woulda been full on cut if I was with some guy and then he turns around and go’s “Nah, I don’t like you, nice booty though. Catch ya round”.

    That would be your own fault for spreading your legs before making sure there’s interest in something more.

    If you go into the fuck buddy business and start developing “feelings” for someone, too bad. Don’t act like a fucking princess as if he owed you something.

  6. Billy Says:

    Clair said:
    Unless she knew you didn’t want a relationship in the beginning, then I can’t blame her. I woulda been full on cut if I was with some guy and then he turns around and go’s “Nah, I don’t like you, nice booty though. Catch ya round”.

    Why? If it was some beautiful gal and the man expected a relationship then he would be told he was needy while she ran off to fuck the next guy.
    The fat girl thought if she slapped that poontang on him then maybe she could hook him. It didn’t work and he could have told her she was being needy.

    Accept ekaliteeee or not…
    women suck as people

  7. Clair Says:

    Risk said:

    That would be your own fault for spreading your legs before making sure there’s interest in something more.

    Thats what I was saying, if she thought there was going to be a relationship then i can’t blame her.

    If you go into the fuck buddy business and start developing “feelings” for someone, too bad. Don’t act like a fucking princess as if he owed you something.

    I wouldn’t do anything like that. I think you should only do that with someone after you been with them for a while.

  8. Risk Says:

    Well from the “which she already knew” part he made it clear he had no intentions of having a relationship. It sounds like she just couldn’t accept it.

  9. TheHammer Says:

    TheHammer said:

    <
    When a woman wins(the 1%), it will be the talk of every.single.woman for the next ten centuries. Look at marie curie, case in point? Wow, just wow. Classy, ladies.

    Mansvoice is right-on!
    Ladies is time for a dose of mantruth - The real story of aging Bobby Riggs loss to Martina Natrilova from anyone who knows Riggs was he the consumate hustler and lost on purpose to build up another payday on the rematch but the rug licking box munching Natrilova wouldn’t play the rematch (typical feministic backstab). Serena and Venus Williams played the 100th ranked man in the world right after he had played 18 holes of golf and showed up with a beer and he smoked them both 6-1, 6-1. A few years later when there was a woman entering men’s golf controversy they asked Serena about the level of men vs. women in tennis and she replied; “I’m not going to touch that one.” Another typical sidestep of the gender that can’t face the truth.

    Correction: Substitute different rug licking box muncher Billie Jean King for Natrilova. I am surprised some MABTW trepassing shrill siren (the greek mythology or police car/ambulance roof type) didn’t pick that up yet. The point remains the same.

  10. C Says:

    MansVoice said:

    C said:

    That is one reason the title of this website is so fucking funny to me. Men like to compete to see who is the best. I am not competitive at all.

    Exactly. If women cannot reach the level of competition that a man plays his game, they shouldnt be talking shit about equality.

    TheHammer said:
    Another typical sidestep of the gender that can’t face the truth.

    Yeah, women are fucking delusional. They think that if they bang their heads against a brick wall contineously, it will eventually give way. Fuck. Men > Women.

    What do ya’ll think of a less abrasive and onesided version of this webside titled : “men are different than women” ?

    Think of it like this: We can’t win at your game. But maybe we have our own game that you don’t know about. I’m not talking about devious trickery and draining men of their money. I mean maybe you see us as inferior losers because you are thinking about of in terms of your game…Maybe a lot of women today are thinking about the world like that too, and that’s why they are losing…what do you think?

  11. sw Says:

    C said:
    I mean maybe you see us as inferior losers

    We don’t see women as inferior losers. There’s no reason to hate women. They are what they are. They cannot help but be what nature intended for them to be. When we hate we express a lack of knowledge. When we know, what something is or why it behaves in the way it does, it becomes less mysterious and more predictable. We cease hating because hating is a sign of fear.

    We fear not what we know. We only fear the unknown.

    The same goes for men.

    But, in describing them, we are exposing a need to know, because we feel vulnerable to the unknown. Women have been called mysterious and hard to understand by most men. For me the opposite is true.

    I see them for what they are, and how nature made them out to be. I’ve seen them in multiple environments and in many different situations. I’ve seen the smart and stupid kind, the seen many manifestations of the feminine type. Women are no longer mysterious. They’ve become predictable.

    There’s only one type of woman that surprises me, these days: A woman of reason and no, or little, emotion, a more masculine woman.
    Now that’s rare.

  12. MansVoice Says:

    I dont hate women nor do I think of women as inferior losers. I just pride myself on being better. Its the same with the SEAL-Marine analogy. The SEAL doesnt look down on the Marine but he knows he is better, enough said.

  13. Billy Says:

    C said:

    What do ya’ll think of a less abrasive and onesided version of this webside titled : “men are different than women” ?

    Think of it like this: We can’t win at your game. But maybe we have our own game that you don’t know about. I’m not talking about devious trickery and draining men of their money. I mean maybe you see us as inferior losers because you are thinking about of in terms of your game…Maybe a lot of women today are thinking about the world like that too, and that’s why they are losing…what do you think?

    Men are different than women. But they want to be equal with men in every area. They need help to compete with men and then claim ekkalitee.

    Women are losers because they are gullable. They are destroying families at an alarming rate. Because the elite are using their greed as a tool. There is really nothing good that comes from the weaker sex. Since women are creating generations of bastards I can’t even say that child bearing is a positive things for women. There is nothing about women that makes me want to be around them..

    Women suck as people

  14. Beer, beer and more beer!! Says:

    Clair, are you drunk again? Pay attention and GET LAID would ya for fucks sake!!

    Risk may I reiterate? Don’t act like a fucking princess WHORE as if he owed you something.

    Women KNOW when we are into them for just fucking or a relationship. They try to act like they don’t, know but they do. Besides, if I only call you at 2am, come over, fuck you then leave, that pretty much means I don’t want a relationship with you EVER!! Because you don’t value or respect yourself, so why should I? And if you continually let me do that, don’t blame me that you are a filthy whore!!!!

    MansVoice said: “I dont hate women nor do I think of women as inferior losers. I just pride myself on being better”. Well in my opinion most (99%) women are just stupid whores. There is that 1% though…. even that 1% can’t compare to a man. She will still need guidance and help from a man at many times in her life.

    With men, if something is broke, we fix it. If we can’t fix it we break it so that no other man can come along and fix it for us therefore proving us to be less manly.

    Men and wo-men can NEVER be equal it’s biologically impossible!! And whoever created men and wo-men made it that way for a reason!!!

  15. C Says:

    Billy said:

    C said:

    What do ya’ll think of a less abrasive and onesided version of this webside titled : “men are different than women” ?

    Think of it like this: We can’t win at your game. But maybe we have our own game that you don’t know about. I’m not talking about devious trickery and draining men of their money. I mean maybe you see us as inferior losers because you are thinking about of in terms of your game…Maybe a lot of women today are thinking about the world like that too, and that’s why they are losing…what do you think?

    Men are different than women. But they want to be equal with men in every area. They need help to compete with men and then claim ekkalitee.

    Women are losers because they are gullable. They are destroying families at an alarming rate. Because the elite are using their greed as a tool. There is really nothing good that comes from the weaker sex. Since women are creating generations of bastards I can’t even say that child bearing is a positive things for women. There is nothing about women that makes me want to be around them..

    Women suck as people

    ok, let me see if I can explain myself more clearly. By saying that men are “different” rather than “better” I mean maybe we shouldn’t be judged on the same scale-

    Not that we should get a handicap–

    At some things, you are bound to excel, and in those things you are better.

    Some qualities are inherently male and you will beat us there-

    You guys all recognise what those positive male qualities are, and I think this is where society is failing. This is where we are failing ourselves as a society. We are not recognising those things as positive traits. It’s not ok for men to be masculine anymore. It’s really not ok the be a man- they are demonized.

    But are there any feminine traits that are positive that need to be recognised for their merits. A lot of you guys say you don’t hate women, you love them…tell me what it is you love about them- what are the charaterisitcs of the human female that attract you to us, the things that you like and admire.

    That question was for everyone, but Billy, you specifically, is there really actually nothing. reflect on it seriously - if your answer is really no, I totally accept that, but it’s hard to believe that you don’t admire ANY thing about ANYwoman, or about womankind. When you imagine how women SHOULD be, and how they SHOULD be doing things, what comes to mind.

    This is one of those times when I’m really curious, so if you are going to crack a joke, make it obvious.

    Forget the “whose better than who” for a minute and think about use as though we were a completely different species and impossible to compare to each other.

  16. Billy Says:

    C said:

    That question was for everyone, but Billy, you specifically, is there really actually nothing. reflect on it seriously - if your answer is really no, I totally accept that, but it’s hard to believe that you don’t admire ANY thing about ANYwoman, or about womankind. When you imagine how women SHOULD be, and how they SHOULD be doing things, what comes to mind.
    .

    No joke and no laughing matter.
    Women disappoint me all the way around. They live within their own little worlds and think they have something to offer but really they only make themselves a burden on people while they believe they are a delite of sorts.
    My Mum got into feminism when I was young and for the sake of all men she tried to kill me. Sure it was just a mental blunder and momentary lapse of reason.

    I have not found a women who can keep her word for a period of days. When a man is down a women will kick you and often when you are up they may try to cash in on your happiness but will often bring you down. Women are the adversary of man and not a competitor. I wish I could say women provide something that I need. I once thought they did. After sex desire is gone there is no reason to deal with the misery that comes from a relationship with women.

    I have found some older women to be aight but still there is nothing to gain by being friends. Friends to a woman means you are there to help them when they need it but what do women do for men? Nothing. Women are not generous even when they earn the same money as men.
    Women are not thoughtful creatures. They are selfish in every sense.

    So many men lie to make women feel good about themselves. Even the way women look today is a major deception. Women are phoney and incapable of being anything more than a leach with delusions of grandeur.

    Like a child when they have something to gain they will be nice for a short time and then that’s over. Wowen have proven time and time again that the only love they know is the love for themselves.

    Women file over 70% of all divorces.
    Only a fool would marry a women with the laws that allow women to rape men in every way. Do you think women are concerned about mens issues? Oh hell no.. Why?

    I’m sure while you are trying to actually communicate here you will eventually get around to saying, oh maybe it’s just your attitude? Switch and blame that is the female game. fuck you and fuck off.

    women suck as people

  17. C Says:

    Billy said:

    C said:

    That question was for everyone, but Billy, you specifically, is there really actually nothing. reflect on it seriously - if your answer is really no, I totally accept that, but it’s hard to believe that you don’t admire ANY thing about ANYwoman, or about womankind. When you imagine how women SHOULD be, and how they SHOULD be doing things, what comes to mind.
    .

    No joke and no laughing matter.
    Women disappoint me all the way around. They live within their own little worlds and think they have something to offer but really they only make themselves a burden on people while they believe they are a delite of sorts.
    My Mum got into feminism when I was young and for the sake of all men she tried to kill me. Sure it was just a mental blunder and momentary lapse of reason.

    I have not found a women who can keep her word for a period of days. When a man is down a women will kick you and often when you are up they may try to cash in on your happiness but will often bring you down. Women are the adversary of man and not a competitor. I wish I could say women provide something that I need. I once thought they did. After sex desire is gone there is no reason to deal with the misery that comes from a relationship with women.

    I have found some older women to be aight but still there is nothing to gain by being friends. Friends to a woman means you are there to help them when they need it but what do women do for men? Nothing. Women are not generous even when they earn the same money as men.
    Women are not thoughtful creatures. They are selfish in every sense.

    So many men lie to make women feel good about themselves. Even the way women look today is a major deception. Women are phoney and incapable of being anything more than a leach with delusions of grandeur.

    Like a child when they have something to gain they will be nice for a short time and then that’s over. Wowen have proven time and time again that the only love they know is the love for themselves.

    Women file over 70% of all divorces.
    Only a fool would marry a women with the laws that allow women to rape men in every way. Do you think women are concerned about mens issues? Oh hell no.. Why?

    I’m sure while you are trying to actually communicate here you will eventually get around to saying, oh maybe it’s just your attitude? Switch and blame that is the female game. fuck you and fuck off.

    women suck as people

    I’m here becauseI care about men’s issues. I’m really trying to understand. This webstie has helped me a lot. It has showed me how we are doing a lot of things wrong, and I’m SO interested, that i can’t stay OFF this website. Thanks for responding actually.

    See, I keep reading that women never want to help, and that they are insensitive. OVer and over. Now that that has bee npointed out to me, I see and understand it. I had no idea, and now I don’t know how I was so blind. I don’t know one woman who thinks that men need help. We really do think you can totally take care of yourself and that you don’t need emotional support… That is a whole new concept to me and I really love it.

    I agree that women are often leeches. We don’t know how to take care of ourselves. I think I do a pretty good job compared to most…I definetly can’t compare myself to any man though…

  18. C Says:

    ps-
    Hey Billy, I’ve hanging around for about a week now, and I’m pretty sencire. Men spell better than women.

  19. C Says:

    There’s only one type of woman that surprises me, these days: A woman of reason and no, or little, emotion, a more masculine woman.
    Now that’s rare.

    @SW

    this is interesting…I’ll have to think about it. The women I know like this who come to mind have had really rough lives and are usually older. My best friend is like this.

  20. Billy Says:

    Normally men dont care about the spelling.
    It’s the issues that’s important. One major difference in men and women.
    Like the saying goes “Iron sharpens Iron” is the approach men take towards other men. Women have really dropped the ball when it comes to teaching the younger girls how to be Ladies or how to be virtuous.

    Feminist played on the minds of gullable women which is probably about 90% of women in order to help destroy families. Women are doing the job with precision. Good job Ladies. Is there any remorse?
    Nope, not as long as the individual can still cry and blame men they will do just that.

    Women only care about themselves.
    In the day where women are ruining lives on a grand scale do you think a man should be concerned with the feelings of some woman?
    I don’t.. Men should just use women and discard them. Well I’m sure that comment will anger some but that is exactly what women boast about concerning men.
    Marry and steal his assets is a common procedure among todays women.
    And many don’t even care if he ever sees his children again. It’s all about gains for women. And we hear “You go gurl!”
    Fuk em & forget em would be fitting.

    I believe the lack of concern from most women will eventually come back to bite the ass of women. Like Angryharry says “I would be real concerned if was a modern women!”

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