Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.
For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.
The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out.
The biggest fear of every married man is going to bed next to a prom queen and waking up next to a blue ribbon sow.
I get my bacon from the butcher, thank you very much.
How Fat Can She Go?
A great way to tell how fat your future spouse is going to be, is by gaging just how obsessed she is with your wedding. If she can’t go a day without mentioning it, expect a spare tire. If she can’t go a meal, expect a spare truck tire. If she can’t go ten minutes without fiddling with her engagement ring, you’d better stock the Bridal Suite with a few cartons of Tasty Cakes and Ding Dongs. Otherwise, you might not get out alive.
Bridal magazines are also something to beware of. Women can consume entire trays of cookies while reading bridal magazines and not even have noticed. They fall under some kind of fat-hypnosis while looking at pictures of floral patterns and matching white flowers to white gowns. Wedding magazines are like activity coloring books for kids. There’s no words and nothing of any educational value, except with bridal magazines, the only activity that gets done is eating.
When a woman awakes from her stupor, only crumbs remain to tell the tale.
Every wedding planner adds at least twenty pounds to your future ex-wife’s girth; every limo adds two. Every time you have the “DJ vs band” conversation, you just put your 40-year-old self in the sack with a another chin.
Dick Tip
Here’s a Dick Tip for those of you confused enough to get married in the upcoming year. Just like you can put adultery in a prenup, your spouse cheating on you with her friends Ben and Jerry can also be grounds for divorce. Put a ten pound leash on her. Just because it’s on, doesn’t mean you have to yank the shit out of it. It’s called being honest and setting a precedent. When it comes to fatness, you need to start doing both as soon as possible.
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage in the same way poor people power the lottery. Being valued as a person is something a fat girl has given up on long ago. And why shouldn’t she? Even if some fat broad has just as much personal worth as she thinks she does, everyone would still rather have the skinny version around — even the environment would appreciate that. Rarely does one need to “weigh something down” in this modern world.
Fat girls power the Infernal Machine of desperation and hype that drives the wedding industry. Skinny girls don’t really need a wedding. They’re skinny. They can get free shit without a ring. Skinny girls only think they need a wedding because fat girls have been cramming the fantasy down their throats since the day they were born — as soon as they realized the donuts weren’t taking.
Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness. Don’t leave your daughters alone with them.
If N. W. Ayer can make diamonds a key ingredient in marriage, I can make marriage something only fat girls do. All I need is a billion T-shirts and a silo of glitter.
Related Articles:
Pages: [10] 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THIS IS WHAT MEN THINK OF WOMEN THESE DAYS? I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE USED SOMEONE FOR MONEY…NOR DO I THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE BECAUSE IM FAT??? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CRAP IS THAT? EVER HEARD OF THE TERM STUPID..YOU SEEM TO FIT THE DESCRIPTION QUITE WELL..AND WHOEVER ELSE ON HERE POSTING MESSAGES STATING MEN ARE GREATER THAN WOMEN..U ARE A TRUE ASSHOLE AND NO WOMAN WILL EVER SETTLE FOR THAT…GOOD LUCK FINDING ANYTHING BESIDES YOUR HAND…
and Women = men
WE ARE ALL EQUAL. sexist pigs
Enjoy being a host. Fool
MEN = WOMEN
wow… all i can say that you are a sad excuse for a man, no scratch that your not even a man. ur just a boy pretending to be. guys can want to get married just as much as girls. and fat girls are obsessed with marriage? where the hell did u get that fucked up logic? ur a jackass, and i’ll be surprised if any girl EVER wants you. damn sexist. and whats up with this website? men are better then women? thats messed up. last time i checked women have equal rights. they have brains, frankly ive met a lot of women that are better then some MEN. all through this sight u say how women are pretty much worthless. u are truly a guy only a mother could love. you say that a women only wants to steal a mans wealth? thats total bullshit. yea there are a few women that do but there are also guys that do THE SAME THING! i know a few MEN that have married for money! I think that its sad that you have to say all this shit to boast your self esteem because no women loves u. and i wonder why? cause your a sexist dick! I am a man i think that women should be treated with respect, and be loved. I dont think a woman is any less than a man. Unlike u, my momma raised me right.
THANK YOU!!! SOMEONE WHO SEES SENSE AT LAST!!!!
” Unlike u, my momma raised me right.”
Yup, she raised you to rever women. That’s equality is it?
female feminist equality.
Equality, but we give birth.
and expect to be handsomely rewarded for it.
http://www.answers.com/topic/parasite ….Females, especially feminists.
@bloo:Not the men on this site,girlie.We dont take shit from any whimmin.If some females act like bitches and dont respect us.We tell them to be cunts somewhere else.Maybe,there are wimps/pussy males who take shit from whimmin,lay out the red carpet,do everything the woman says and put up with the bullshit etc.Those are like feminist men and are rare.
I say only treat a woman right if she respects/submits to you.The man leads in the relationship,the female follows.So she should know her place or her ass gets dumped on the street.No point in being nice to a female either,as females are only attracted to cocky,dominant males.So,all men should be like that.
See, you say women should respect men, but then you also use the word submit. On various places of the site, men claim that women are idiots, worthless, can’t take care of themselves, after men’s money. So, you don’t like “cunts” who go after money through marriage, but you also don’t like strong independent women who do respect men, yet don’t feel any reason to do their every whim?
I simply don’t understand that.
I’m a woman and I gotta admit…we just suck. My grandma said the pendulum would swing back n forth and women suck right now and men are too wimpy to do anything about it except take it…come to think of it…men suck too; all except my husband.
Come to my site.
http://www.voy.com/219711/
Women are the scum of the earth and they know it. Especially nurses!
These whimmin are beyond a joke! Fat or thin!
“All men are assholes!”
No all men are assholes to YOU!
“All men cheat!”
No all men cheat on YOU!
“All men are selfish!”
No all men don’t care about YOU!
“All men are useless!”
HELL NO! All men don’t want to give you anything or invest their energy into some pussy not worth his salt and that’s YOU!
‘All men are insensitive or emotionally unavailable!’
No EMPATHY is a MALE trait! And we reserve emotions for things we actually care about and that sure as hell ain’t YOU!
All these statements boil down to one thing. If YOU were worth it and not expecting all these HAND OUTS because that’s what they are then you would NOT be saying it in the first place!
Men > Women.
“All women are cunts!”
No all women are cunts to YOU!
“All women cheat!”
No all women cheat on YOU!
“All women care about is money!”
No all women don’t care about YOU!
“All men are useless!”
HELL NO! All women don’t want to give you anything or invest their energy into some dick not worth her time and that’s YOU!
…All these statements boil down to one thing. If YOU were worth it and not expecting SYCOPHANTIC SUBMISSIVE SEX ROBOTS because that’s what they are then you would NOT be saying it in the first place!
Women < Men.
;)
Hey, dumbass, Women < Men still means that men are greater than women.
And fat black broads believe classically handsome black lads such as myself should date them!!!!(FAT CHANCE UNTIL YOU LOSE 150+ LB., AND YOUR B***HY
ATTITUDES,PORKERS!!!!)
No wonder divorce rates are so high in America. We’re all getting divorces ’cause of such trivial bullshit!
Haha!
No no sweety.
Divorce rates are so high in America……
because you THINK it’s trivial bullshit.
Men are better than women is not a “trivial idea”.
its a REALITY.
Example:… there isn’t an Ameriskank in this country who is willing to pay child support for a child that is not her own.
95% of child support is payed out by MEN because Ameriskanks CANT (or WONT) even support their own children.
That’s hardly “trivial bullshit”.
Not even CLOSE.
Tunacan – 70% of divorces in Femerica are initiated by whimmin; and they make out like “champs” – getting HIS house, cars, children (90+% of the time she gets them, and often the courts won’t even enforce his visitation rights), vaginamony payments (even when she earns more than him, in some cases), and child support which is not always formulaic (yes, in some cases/states its arbitrary nature lets her live the life of Pat Riley on his “dime”), etc.
The “trivialities” you speak of on here are, in part, a manifestation of mens’ displeasure with the current state of fuckery in Western cuntries; and if you think the “spoils” of divorce are trivial – leave them with their rightful owner.
FatGirlsAreObsessedWithPhatMen
I am shutting this site down.
well shut it down already!!! honestly dick.. good luck getting anyone to like you, shut you mouth and go and… well do something useful. It is a lovely example that you are setting for the future generation.
Dick Masterson=Dildo wearing a Groucho mask! http://www.maleenhancement.org/
Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
Chris=Mr. Empty-pants: http://www.maleenhancement.org/
You are an idiot. Please, kill yourself.
Thanks.
Thita, when YOU were born they should have SLAPPED your mother and PUNCHED your father.
Oh god, this article really made me laugh. Why do I get the feeling that whoever writes these articles is some fifty-year-old, bloated, out-of-work dimwit who resents his ex-wife for dumping his ass when she realized he wasn’t worth anything? Also, why does that same feeling pop up when I get to thinking about the morons who actually have so few brain cells that they AGREE with this trite crap? Probably because it’s true, if not entirely then mostly. Now, for my point: I found some teensy things wrong with this article. 1) Many women, fat and skinny, want to get married. Marriage is a symbol that two people are so in love that they want to be joined together for the rest of their lives, not an excuse for free stuff. Actually, most women don’t even want to be showered with gifts, only the shallowest of people go into a marriage for material possessions. 2) Just because your wife was enthusiastic about planning the wedding doesn’t mean that she’s going to randomly gain two hundred pounds after the fact! A woman’s wedding is her one day that she gets to feel like a real princess. To put in perspective, a wedding to woman is like getting into the NFL or baseball hall of fame on your conditions. And as far as weight gain, most women starve themselves before their weddings in hopes that they’ll go down a size or two which, in turn, shrinks their stomach so they have to eat less; face it, you’re more likely to have a thinner wife after the wedding than you did before! 3) Attacking a woman’s self-worth is one of the lowest things any man can ever do. Implying that a woman, or any person, is less important because their outer appearance is not the mainstream idea of beauty is the most foolish thing anyone can do. It makes you look like a complete and total ignoramus to be so unbelievably cruel and shallow to fellow human being. It makes one come to the conclusion that your loathing of marriage is not due to the discomfort of marriage, but rather that you have not been given any opportunities to attempt marry. And quite frankly, it wouldn’t be particularly surprising if it were true.
I hope that my comment has enlightened some of the slugs who visit this site. And for the record, I’ve been married to my husband eighteen years, I have two beautiful children, and I’m still a size 6.
No, your comment is full of nonsense and lies.
Completely false. Marriage has become a way for the woman to steal the man’s wealth. The divorce laws incite her to divorce him because she would get rich: She gets the house and the children, besides of his properties.
Marriage has become the main lie for every woman: They claim love to steal the man’s wealth. Every woman is materialistic. So, every woman cheats at her man when she speaks of love. This is a continual cheating. It occurs every second. Since there are about 31.5 million seconds per year, then almost every wife cheats at her husband about 31.5 million times each and every year.
Again, this is a lie. Most wives are fat.
You try to encourage men to get married so women can steal their properties.
Micho
Your comment also shows that you know Dick to be right. “I think the lady doth protest too much”. And probably eats too damn much, too. Gross.
THERE YOU GO!!! DICK MASTERSON AND SOME OTHER PITIFULL SLUGS ARE OFF THEIR ROCKER’S!!!
Guys, guys! Don’t EVER argue with a woman. You’re just giving them the attention they want.
Ignore them, and go on about your manly business.
I hope Dick modifies posting so only registered members who are ALL men can post.
fucking 14 yr old cunts. go back to doing your homework! this is an adult site twats!
are you taLking about me?, I am UNDER 14 and I see sense you should too !!!
you’re a fool that’s been bottle fed dogma and are too dumb to see it.
thanks a bunch. no I am not a fool, in truth you are simply a scared little boy that will not admit to himself that maybe someone else can be smarter than them, why don’t you just go running to your mommie??? huh???
I’m 47 you ignorant shaming little girl, take your schoolyard tactics back to school. Not only are you a fool, you’re ignorant, self imposed. I’m done, my time with arguing with schoolgirls is over. I’ve done my time there.
yes and do you still live with your mother? yes, I am ignorant. yeah right! maybe you shou;d mind your language around children.
This is my last post to you. My mother is dead. Maybe you should show some respect to actually get some, schoolgirl. You’re another by product of feminism, children that can’t FUCKING behave. Now child, fuck off. If you want to debate like an adult, you’ll be spoken to like one. Enjoy your time as a feminist, you’ll need to bring standards down so that you can actually compete. Needless to say, you’ll fall back to the eons old female way of making a living. Parasitism. You’ll also use the eons old female manipulation tactics on men, you’re already trying and FAILING now. Feminism is on it’s way out btw.
Bye bye sweetie.
all right, yeah maybe I should but you should also learn some respect. I’ll respect adults when they are sane. times have changed and maybe you should modernize, get out of the dark ages and admit to yourself that if you hate the world for no reason, then one day you will be sorry for underestimating people.
farewell retard.
Someone tell this child I used to believe in the feminist cause. Unlike her I’ve lived some life and seen with my own eyes that feminism is destructive to society. Should I respect anyone that follows like a sheep without giving something serious thought? I think not.
She might be better off going and doing her homework, so she can gain advantage from the female biased education system she now enjoys, in the name of equality. I don’t underestimate 14 year old girls, I have a very REALISTIC opinion of their abilities, through experience.
As for hating females of today, whatever their age. I don’t, I feel more than a little pity for them. Despite their own ‘feelings’ of themselves as being independent, they are anything but. If they were they wouldn’t require legislation and biased divorce laws to gain advantage. Lets hope she keeps to her word and does bugger off. Respect her, I feel sorry for her, poor deluded, badly educated, fool.
she should have more respect for her elders and betters!!! she is plain annoying, personally I have nothing against women but this little child has crossed the line. I don’t envy her parents in raising her!
ok ok here’s the thing
kay and i are both 14 years old. we have issues concerning ur website……especially ur comments on ‘fat’ women. Donna is not fat! and if u dont hate women ….. u just prefer men (as said by you in your interveiw) then why would you say that! Yes you have freedom of speech … but so do women and no matter what u think …WOMEN DO HAVE THE VOTE! WOMEN ARE EQUALS AND ANYTHING MEN CAN DO…..WOMEN CAN DO BETTER! (apart from sports) :L can men have babies……no. can men have multiple orgasims….no. can men multi task …..no (its actualy a scientifical fact .. women have something in their brain that men dont have) name one thing men can phsically do that women cant apart from wanking
moving furniture…
scientifical, you say?
orgasims, you say?
Go back to eighth grade and learn how to spell.
You’re just making women look worse, Jesus.
This, coming from a woman.
*WOMEN ARE EQUALS AND ANYTHING MEN CAN DO…..WOMEN CAN DO BETTER! (apart from sports) *
Sports are just another statistic.
yeah well this site is just a waste of time. this is my last post go rot in hell dick masterson
wait I retract that statement, not all men are shallow. Dick and his band of loose tooth shoe shiners are
Women are more shallow than men. If a man said “i will love you as long as you remain lovable – but I will NEVER marry you”… a woman would leave.
That’s fucking shallow.
“Does my ass look fat in these pants??”
Fucking shallow.
“Where you checking out that other girl? you cheating asshole”.
Fucking shallow.
“I can never own enough jewelry”
Fucking useless AND shallow.
….. and the endless list goes on.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
I have never said any of those things,
you on the other hand
do my biceps look big in this shirt
why were you talking to him, do like him do you want to fuck him are his biceps bigger then mine
I can never own enough watches
fucking boring and shallow
and your endless list stoped at 3
also its more shallow for a man to stop loving a woman because she gains some wieght then for a woman to want pants that she likes
She’s just like any other young girl – she’ll say “I hate you!” while you fuck her in the ass. Well, how’d her sphincter get violated in the first place?
Shallow? Men? No fucking way are men shallow!
You wouldn’t be called shallow for thinking that a dildo was ONLY A DILDO and nothing more.
You wouldn’t be called shallow for thinking that a nail polisher was only for polishing nails and nothing more.
So therefore, it is NOT shallow for thinking that WOMEN are nothing more than HOT ASS, SEX OBJECTS and/or CUM BUCKETS because that’s all they have ever PROVEN to be!
Men > Women.