Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.
For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.
The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out.
The biggest fear of every married man is going to bed next to a prom queen and waking up next to a blue ribbon sow.
I get my bacon from the butcher, thank you very much.
How Fat Can She Go?
A great way to tell how fat your future spouse is going to be, is by gaging just how obsessed she is with your wedding. If she can’t go a day without mentioning it, expect a spare tire. If she can’t go a meal, expect a spare truck tire. If she can’t go ten minutes without fiddling with her engagement ring, you’d better stock the Bridal Suite with a few cartons of Tasty Cakes and Ding Dongs. Otherwise, you might not get out alive.
Bridal magazines are also something to beware of. Women can consume entire trays of cookies while reading bridal magazines and not even have noticed. They fall under some kind of fat-hypnosis while looking at pictures of floral patterns and matching white flowers to white gowns. Wedding magazines are like activity coloring books for kids. There’s no words and nothing of any educational value, except with bridal magazines, the only activity that gets done is eating.
When a woman awakes from her stupor, only crumbs remain to tell the tale.
Every wedding planner adds at least twenty pounds to your future ex-wife’s girth; every limo adds two. Every time you have the “DJ vs band” conversation, you just put your 40-year-old self in the sack with a another chin.
Dick Tip
Here’s a Dick Tip for those of you confused enough to get married in the upcoming year. Just like you can put adultery in a prenup, your spouse cheating on you with her friends Ben and Jerry can also be grounds for divorce. Put a ten pound leash on her. Just because it’s on, doesn’t mean you have to yank the shit out of it. It’s called being honest and setting a precedent. When it comes to fatness, you need to start doing both as soon as possible.
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage in the same way poor people power the lottery. Being valued as a person is something a fat girl has given up on long ago. And why shouldn’t she? Even if some fat broad has just as much personal worth as she thinks she does, everyone would still rather have the skinny version around — even the environment would appreciate that. Rarely does one need to “weigh something down” in this modern world.
Fat girls power the Infernal Machine of desperation and hype that drives the wedding industry. Skinny girls don’t really need a wedding. They’re skinny. They can get free shit without a ring. Skinny girls only think they need a wedding because fat girls have been cramming the fantasy down their throats since the day they were born — as soon as they realized the donuts weren’t taking.
Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness. Don’t leave your daughters alone with them.
If N. W. Ayer can make diamonds a key ingredient in marriage, I can make marriage something only fat girls do. All I need is a billion T-shirts and a silo of glitter.
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So you’d use - USE - your children and make them SUFFER just to prove a point. You are a horrible mother.
If I bought one of your t-shirts for my boys and sent them to school in it, I wonder how long it would take for the teacher to give me a call? School starts at 8:05am, so probably 8:15am. I should just do it…
My sister is getting married. This is going to be her Bridal Shower gift ;D
Click on it.
-Dick
OMG I need that shirt, where can I find one?!
You just proved Dick’s whole point. She’s probably fat and you’re a loser.
Obviously Zach didn’t attend biology class.
@Zach- Did you know that female humans are the only species on the planet that cost more to have sex with than most of the race is worth?
The only thing these women dedicate jack or shit too is their time, my wallet, and their jewelry, which of course pleasures them.
Stupid fucking kids, stop posting in here. Next time, I call the cops.
Your bitch isn’t really much one for anything but having my kids, and I would suggest you check up where she has been, because I know damned good and well I was her at that TA Truck Stop in OKC last week.
Only ran me $15. Seriously. I wouldn’t lie to you.
She isn’t much for flash, but then again, after the divorce, you will realize you know why. She is making you save up now for her retirement after the court date, you fucking dillweed.
Another gay joke and another Mangina.
Rich.
- Sgt. Reyes
To the people on this board, did you know that female humans are the only species on the planet with an organ completely dedicated to pleasure?
Yeah. You’re jealous of them, homo. I really bet you are..
Anyway, my fiancee really doesn’t care what we do for our marriage. I’m happy. She wants to get married at civil hall, and go get coffee afterwards. She’s really not much for flash. =)
Dude (Dick Masterson), I totally agree! I think that we sould kill them all, and be done with it after we get the the whole cloning thing down. Mass genoside. NOT. By the way, u free saturday night? lets have a sussage fest! cause i can seriously tell that ur gay. and the major issues you have with your mother are also self-evident.
Penis, Penis, Penis!!
Sucks-a-lot Penis-Haver
Why should it be controlled? If it’s natural
Women have testosterone too. The ones that love sex more just can’t control it.
*D3C*
If orgasms come from male testosterone, how come women can orgasm? And there are women who love sex more then men
the biggest proof that men are better than women is because the orgasm or sex pleasure comes from testosterone or male hormone.if we were in pre history we would be having FREE sex with ANY owmen without having to spend money with womenand ALL women prefer to be mothers than to have a man to REALLY LOVE and that is sad as hell to me i wish women love to have sex at least as much as we man love to fuck them, i think the only hope is future science to give all women the male crave for sex we men have
You know, I’m guessing Dick aint a Chubby Chaser
And Alex, you’re also welcome to read and view links as well, but I guess that would involve effort…and thinking…
You don’t deserve support or proof. Just leave since the site plainly says “No women allowed.”
Read my posts. If you don’t understand it, read it again. If you don’t understand it, read it again. If you still don’t understand it, read it again. If you still don’t understand it, you’re a women.
Again with the drafts. I’ve only met one person who was in favour of drafts, and that was a man, but he said “if it needs be”. No one like drafts.