Fat Women: Stay Home!
Every weekend, millions of dumpy, 20-something sluts decide not to go to a nightclub because they’re an eyesore to men and an embarrassment to their species. Thank you ladies for doing that. You cows may be good for nothing, but at least you have the decency to be fat-fuck slobs in the privacy of your own homes.
Unfortunately, thousands of these behemoths opt to cover themselves in a sequin tarp and head out anyway. Thankfully for us, they get turned away at the door. Anyplace that sets their drink prices at 15 dollars a pop should provide an atmosphere free of muffin tops, front cracks, and desperate whales. Trust me, you haven’t seen real desperation until you’ve been hit on by a drunk fat girl. A more pathetic spectacle of self-loathing, denial, and tears, I have not seen matched.
All this happens every weekend and up until today, no one has ever given a fuck. This weekend, however, some size 16 womanatee by the name of Georgina Mason decided to call the police about it.
Someone should have called the police on her fat ass — for fifty counts of negligent bonercide.
At first I thought this story was a joke. A women is turned away from a nightclub for being fat, calls the police, and this all happens in some town called Jersey? What’s next, Onion? Did a boy explode in Didn’tFartEnough-sylvania? I doubt it.
To my surprise, I learned that this hilarious story was real. Here is Georgina Mason’s side. See if you can hear her scarfing down the bangers and mash between each sentence.
“I told them not to be ridiculous and asked to speak to the manager. He would not look at me directly but said they’d received too many complaints about fat people. He told me to ‘go and lose some weight before you come in - fat people are bad for business’.”
Case closed. If you’re like me and have a doctorate in Obvious and a minor in Economics for Retards, you can easily spot the fallacy in young Georgina’s argument.
Many complaints are more expensive than one complaint.
Nightclubs are a business. They do not exist to make fat rejects feel good about themselves for being the same unwanted whore as their mother with an additional seventy pounds around the midsection. Deal with it, Georgina.
“I was disgusted he had the nerve to say this. My friend, who is only a size 14, was not allowed in either.”
For you men in the US, a UK size 14 is equivalent to a US size 10. But that’s kind of like saying shit smells “rank” in the UK and “wicked nasty” in the US. Shit is still shit. To really see what a UK size 14 looks like, get two of your buddies together and fuck a tubful of pudding. Now that’s disgusting!
English Women are Fucking Fat
England has some of the fatest, drunkest, most obnoxious donkey-sounding cunts in the world. Georgina Mason is but a chocolate chip in the the cookie of this fat epidemic. British contractors must install fun house mirrors instead of regular ones just for a laugh. At least, that’s the only way I can explain why this growing blight of fat British broads isn’t puking themselves skinny over the sight of their own naked reflections every morning.
English Women: if their teeth won’t make you limp, their fat asses, crass mouths, and out of control binge drinking will.
Don’t believe me? Just ask former Miss England hopeful Chloe Marshall. At sixteen stone (like a million pounds), that Grimace-shaped bitch ate her way into the headlines earlier this year — but not into a tiara.
Fat Girls Are Not Entitled to Dick
Nightclubs are not meant for “fun”. They’re a grim meat market all participants use to find their fuck de jour.
Dick Tip! If your girlfriend spends any time “clubbing” with the “girls” for “laughs”, dump her ass immediately. She’s two cosmos away from blowing some guy in the men’s room — or blowing some guy in the men’s WC as Georgina Mason was probably hoping to do.
To a woman, the modern nightclub is a paradise of male attention. And she loves it with every ounce of glittery blood pumping through her black heart. In a nightclub, the music is so loud women don’t run the risk of sounding stupid. In a nightclub, random, sexually suggestive gyrations are commonplace and can be done without shame for the purpose of alluring men. In a nightclub, no man can get in and out without dropping a hundred bucks.
Of course, all this is but a build up to every woman’s ultimate goal: blowing some guy in the fucking men’s room.
Only sick bastards want a blowjob from a fat girl.
It may be funny to say that fat girls give better head because they’re grateful for the human contact, but let’s remember that we’re talking about real people here. And real people get hungry. Nothing says she won’t think your dick is a corndog half way through and take a bite. That’s why fat girls aren’t allowed in nightclubs. They’re a safety hazard.
Nightclubs Are Sexist
I’ve been turned away from a nightclub for having too many penises more times than I can count. And did I call the police? No. I’m a man. I was thrilled because I fucking hate nightclubs. As a man, I also solve my own problems, and the quickest way to solve the above problem is by realizing it’s not a problem and shutting the fuck up. Cops have better things to do with their time than pretend you’re not an idiot.
No amount of money, style, or gab will counter the discrimination shown to men at your average nightclub. No amount of hitting the treadmill will either. It’s simply a question of how many sluts you bring to dump into the community pot.
And they certainly are sluts. Every girl at a nightclub is as garden variety a slut as you can find. But I will give them this: they’re not fat.
Yet.
Men are better than women at going to nightclubs. Mostly because we don’t want to fucking go in the first place. But if we do, at least we’re fuckable.
Cows are not allowed in nightclubs. Seeing eye dogs only!
The Fattest Beauty Queen in the World
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Ha Ha - Dick rules!
What is it with you fat bitches? Why do you try so hard to be all peppy and outgoing? You’re fat. We don’t want you touching us or talking to us. Stop playing cute all the time and hit the treadmill. That is all I have to say.
BEST ONE YET DICK!
Fat women are useless as human beings and need to stop walking out in public.
I saw a woman today with two kids that was easily twice my size and a whole head shorter than me. Who’s fucking these bitches?? Fellow men, stop being so damn desperate. You’re making these whales think its ok to stay the way they are. If you punish a dog for its behavior it will stop doing it eventually.
“Big is beautiful” <- Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
It’s true. I don’t understand why any guy could ever be desperate enough to sleep with a fat girl - seriously. I’d take going home and cracking one off ANY day rather than sleep with a girl who’s even slightly overweight.
There’s actually more chance of me being satisfied at the end if I masturbate then if I tried to have sex with a fat girl. I say this because I’ve never tried it. The fat has always repulsed me too much.
Per Chloe:
“Do I have fat days? Of course, every woman has fat days…”
Newsflash!: Every day is a fat day for Chloe - Mooooooo!!!!!!!
“Cops have better things to do with their time than pretend you’re not an idiot.” DIEING OF LAUGHTER! GOOD ARTICLE DICK
Nobody calls the men’s room the WC in the UK. At least get the stereotype right before you use it.
If I had the proverbial dollar for every fat chick I’ve seen walking down the street with two shopping bags full of Jenny Craig products. Too bad these slobs can’t buy discipline and a commitment.
I’m from Wales in the UK, it’s all women in the United Kingdom who are stuck up fat cunts. Seriously, I get dogged all the time for fucking a cute chubby girl here and there if it’s straight up no fuss no trouble kiss on the cheeky fuck off in the morning type thing. However these days these fat scruts actually have attitude like they’re hot shit! They’re PITY FUCKS! The hot women… well, I can’t say hot really I’ve recently vacationed in South Beach where the women were drop dead stunning, going back to the UK it’s funny seeing the average woman (blond hair, slim waistline, acceptable teeth) think they’re a cross between Angelina Jolie and Heidi Klum. Dumb fuckers, wish they’d get a harsh reality check.
Chloe Marshall and Georgina Mason’s bravery has finally undone hundreds of thousands of years of biological evolution and made me attracted to unhealthy, critically obese women! Shame on me for being attracted to slim, healthy women with waists.
Unfortunately, this is how feminists actually think it works. They think that if they shove disgusting obesity in front of our faces and tell us it’s attractive, then eventually we’ll cave in and start wanting to date them.
Which is really just more evidence for feminism being about attention and nothing else.
On some feminazi site once, I even read this comment from a feminist saying how she wished men would stop saying that they find models and supermodels attractive. It’s all about jealousy. Ugly, angry women think all men should be attracted to THEM, despite the fact that they have nothing to offer.
That guy was saving the fat women from embarassment, they should thank him.
Why the fuck would they call the police? The night club private company has absolute discretion to who they let in. Stupid fat whores stop drinking and go running.
Aussie sluts are just as fat, just as fucked in the attitude. There is good news however
http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1481216/obesity_in_women_raises_ri sk_of_pancreatic_cancer/
good post dick, the glittery blood through the black heart, gold.
who the hell would want to be fat in Australia? it’s hot as hell! (at least where I live/ been)
Yes its quite easy to stay celibate in europe, a lot of girls are fat, and the ones that are not have this “feminine mystique” that makes them look like total bitches.
Life is good single, enjoy it!
As a man, I personally avoid nightclubs not because of the women, but because of the overflow of douchebags with popped collars, overly spiked hair and excessive bling. No research grant could afford to fund the research necessary to understand that phenomenon.
RDC - ‘Wrong Decade Confusion’ - that’s the answer, dude…
Every time I go to a party or bar the fattest chick there always gives me the flirty eyes or tries to talk to me. In my less manly and more desperate days I’d say yes to sex with their pillowy rolls of negative self esteem. High school was rough and “gamers” weren’t a “cool trend” so I took what I could get. No longer. Hit the treadmill Stay-Puffed. Or an industrial conveyor-belt cause most treadmill’s aren’t designed for mammoths.
Hahahahaha, industrial conveyor-belt. That’s gold. I’m storing that in my man-memory for future use.
Hold your ground gentlemen, the fatties are going to be all over this one.
Think this will convince you not to go to clubs?
Try THIS one on for size:
Man suing bar; bar asked him to give up seat for women
Former NBA all-star suing Tavern at Phipps
Joe Barry Carroll says he and friend, who are black, were asked to give up seats for white women.
By BILL RANKIN
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 08/06/08
Former NBA all-star Joe Barry Carroll claims in a lawsuit that he was humiliated and traumatized by the way he was treated in a Buckhead restaurant.
Carroll filed a federal lawsuit Wednesday against the Tavern at Phipps, alleging he and a friend, who are black, were asked to leave the restaurant’s bar because they refused to give up their seats to two white women.
“I was shocked that it ever happened,” said Carroll, 50, now an investment adviser. “But since I’ve gotten over the shock, I’ve felt I have a responsibility to promote some conversation, some discussion about this.”
A former Purdue University star, Carroll was the top pick in the 1980 NBA draft. He moved to Atlanta in 1991 after a 10-year career in which he averaged 17.7 points a game.
Greg Greenbaum, who owns the 17-year-old Phipps Plaza restaurant, disagreed with Carroll’s assertions.
“I don’t feel we’ve done anything wrong,”
Greenbaum said Wednesday. “We don’t discriminate.”
Carroll and attorney Joseph Shaw went to the Tavern after work Aug. 11, 2006. They sat at the bar and ordered drinks and food.
A short time later, a bartender asked them to give up their seats for two white women.
There were “several white males” also at the bar, but none of them was asked to move, the suit says.
Carroll and Shaw politely declined, but the bartender told them
it was the Tavern’s custom for men to give up their seats at the bar to women,
the suit says. Carroll and Shaw were then told repeatedly by two other Tavern employees to give up their seats, while none of the white men at the bar was asked to do so, the suit says.
Carroll and Shaw, saying they wanted to finish their meal, still declined to leave their seats at the bar. So the Tavern management called a security guard who escorted the two men out of the restaurant, the suit says.
Carroll and Shaw soon filed a complaint before the city of Atlanta’s Human Relations Commission.
After a hearing, the panel found the Tavern discriminated against the men on the basis of their gender “and, arguably, their race.”
“In light of the long racial history between black and white, the commission can’t help but to wince at the notion of expressly sanctioning a practice that would have the effect of requiring an African-American to relinquish his or her seat to a Caucasian patron,” its Oct. 10, 2007, ruling said. It added that “race was a factor in the escalation of the situation.”
Greenbaum said Wednesday that Carroll and Shaw were not targeted because they were African-American.
“But we may be more preferential to women,” he said.
“We’re all Southern gentlemen,” Greenbaum said. “It creates a nice social environment when gentlemen give up their seats at the bar. That’s the way we like to do business. It’s a courtesy to our female guests.”
Shaw, a criminal defense attorney, said Wednesday he plans to file his own suit.
Carroll, represented by lawyers Gerry Weber and Hollie Manheimer, seeks unspecified damages and a court order ensuring free and unfettered access at the bar, without regard to race or gender. Carroll said he will donate any jury award to charity.
“This was absolutely different from simply asking us to give up our seats for some ladies,” he said. “This is the kind of not-so-subtle discrimination that happens too often.”
ANY man who PAYS for his meal and being FORCED by douchebags to move to make a vagina feel special needs to sue and sue HARD enough to close the place down.
BTW, Southern women are NOT ladies…they are skanks, sluts, whores and tramps…kinda like the rest of the world.
Deathslayer
Here we see where Anglo-American women get that sense of Entitlement…!
I hope they wiped the seats.
The female sense of entitlement is nothing compared to the black sense of entitlement. They should thank the white man daily that they are not still eating each other in Africa and sitting in a cloud of flies and dust. Instead they give us hassles.
They are incredibly ungrateful. What have they given us…nothing at all. If they all disappeared, whitey would be so happy. If whitey disappeared, there’d be lots of starving blacks looking for someone to blame and killing each other. Everybody knows this is the truth.
There’s some truth to what you say.
Instead of bitching and moaning, they need to get off their asses and be men. If they want to go back to Africa, that can be arranged, and they aren’t allowed to return once they get there. Otherwise, shut up with the “African-American” or whatever other bullshit they pull. They’re black “men”, either own your manhood and make your way or go back to Africa and be as “African” as you want to be.
The slave traders did YOU a favor by buying your ancestors from their own tribes who sold them off to get rid of them. Now you live in civilized countries instead of a 3rd world jungle. You should be happy that you have opportunity instead of bitching that your great, great, great, great, great grandparents were slaves to some dead white man OR some dead black man because blacks owned slaves too. Look it up.
Stop being “niggers” and be humans and you might actually get somewhere. You’re the only one who can make yourself a “nigger” by your own actions and words, don’t blame the white man for your laziness and ignorance. He gave you a free education but you’d rather hold up a liquor store than work an honest day’s work for honest pay.
A REAL man would be happy to give up his seat for a lady. It’s called chivalry, something “men” sorely lack today. Men aren’t men anymore, they are wimpering boys who think the world owes them something. I’m ashamed of most of them.
I will keep chivalry, honor and dignity alive as long as I can, even if I’m the only one doing it, my sons will carry on the legacy and respect women or they will get their asses kicked by the “old man”.
Pathetic little pigs treat women poorly, MEN stand up for women, as they should.
Alright I have to take exception to this. I believe in equality. I believe that women, should, like a man, be strong and independent. Equality does not mean giving up a seat for me, nor me giving up my seat for her.
Chivalry is merely another attempt to minimize the female contribution. I’m equal and strong and independent when I feel like it. I’m weak and soft and dependent when I want to sit down on the seat you are on.
Sorry Sampson your argument is weak and falls flat.
Rest of my comment
‘If you want girls, stay the fuck away from the UK, unless you love fat chicks, with attitudes of 10’s. Or slim chicks’ who think they have won the ‘golden pussy award’.
UK men are fucked, its 99% of the male population chasing the 1% of the female population that have not stuffed themselves with ‘cakes’ or ‘feminism’.
Avoid the UK like a ‘man’ dodging a ‘wedding proposal’.
Fat chicks are like marriage, in that; they both serve absolutely no fucking purpose at all, to ‘men’.
English women are the biggest cunts on earth.
Although, American, British, New Zealander, and Australian women are extremely rude and ignorant, I would have to say that Canadian women are some of the worst cunts to have ever lived. As bad as American and British women are, there is nothing more horrifying or sickening than a frigid, ball busting Canadian woman on the warpath. I would rather have crumpets and tea with a bunch of arrogant, uptight British women than endure the presence of some frigid Canadian bitch, especially the ones indoctrinated in feminism.
I can also attest to what Dick said about how pitiful it is to be hit on by a fat drunk woman in one of these places - or indeed any place.
Unlike men, who conduct themselves with class when approaching women, these two fat sacks of midget shit plodded up beside me and looked up at me saying “are you naaaaughty .. are you baaaaad.”
Fuck, I felt embarassed for them. I told them to grow the fuck up and walked away, disgusted. The clueless girly-girl act might work if you’re actually attractive. If you’re a fat bitch then no, it isn’t alluring, and I don’t want to pork you. Fat women should be banned from every public place. Once they lose the weight, they can be admitted entrance again.
It seems everywhere I look, women are being fat, rude and loud-mouthed, while men are being considerate, hilarious and employed.
I always find that fat girls are the most physical of girls when hitting on you at a bar. Their sad hail mary attempts to get you to take them home border on assault. At the least, you’ll end up spilling your drink as they rub against you. With that much bulk grinding up on you, there’s not a chance in hell that your scotch is staying in that glass. You end up like a deaf lumberjack: squashed and wondering what the fuck just happened.
Message to fat chicks: unless you’re sweating to the oldies, stop dancing.
i could not agree with you more, i was at the local last night and i was chatting up this girl and her mate walked over looked like a whale, as in she was fkn HUGE.
so the girl i was chatting up had to go for a sec so her mate starts to chat me up and wants to buy me drinks then says that im lovely,sweet im like thanks but i want your friend as you can tell hehe.
But fat girls KNOW they will get laid if they go out, because the desperate guys will let them chat them up..
dick where are you when we need you