Fat Women: Stop Emailing Me
If there’s one thing I know about women it’s that whatever any one of them is doing, it can be done better by a man — and also they’re all crazy and they all want babies and they all want to get married and they all want to have everything done for them for free and they all want to fuck their fathers and every decision that they make in their lives is based on how jealous they are that they don’t have a penis and they all wear way too much perfume and they never listen to anything before they open their mouths with a response and they all need to lose 10 pounds and they never actually mean “thank you” or “I’m sorry” when they say it — what they really mean is “it’s about time” and “you should be glad I’m still letting you fuck me” — and they all love to be treated like shit because that’s what they are.
And when they get on the internet, they go from a size 8 to a size Invisible.
In other words: fat women, quit fucking emailing me. I can tell you’re fat and your fatness makes me sick.
Here’s a sample conversation between myself and a girl who is so desperate for Dick that she can’t even spell properly. Or maybe she was desperate for a three o’clock fixin of Funyuns. I can’t be sure, but rest assured this exchange is typical for dozens of other little fat girls who need to stop sending me emails every day.
Note: This entire exchange was done in seven minutes via a Blackberry.
Men are NOT immune to eating disorders. If you honestly think they are I suggest you visit your local psychiatric ward and have a look for yourself.
Blair
Only a fat girl would know that much about eating disorders. To a woman, a loose familiarity with a subject is tantamount to being a Rainman-caliber expert. I suspected that she was 300 pounds at least.
Dealing with fat women over the internet is analogous to dealing with them in real life. Who gives a shit about fat girls?
I suggest you visit a salad bar because you are too fat.
-Dick
That’s hilarious! You do not know me at all or what I look like and yet you say I’m fat? Well, you must be an overweight, acne faced, isolated, computer geek who should consider suicide to benefit society. You are the reason why many 1st world countries still encounter tall poppy syndrome and the glass ceiling effect in modern work places.
You disgust me.
Maybe you should come to my next feminist meeting? I’m sure you’ll fit right in.
Blair
I’m sure I would fit right in — their vaginas.
-Dick
But if you hate women so much wouldn’t you feel much more at home being inside the males you love? Keep making an arse of yourself, you’re only reiterating my points further.
Blair
When a woman calls you gay, she is challenging your sexuality for the purposes of usurping it for herself. She has become so hysterical with lust and overpowered by your massively masculine logic that she is as ripe for plucking as a big fat cherry that no one asked to their senior prom.
Got a pic?
-Dick
You cannot tell me that this heated debate wouldn’t affect your opinion of me whatsoever. What makes you think males are better than females? Why are men immune to low self esteem? I’m intrigued.
Blair
And at this point, I give absolutely no fuck. I also give the little piggy no response. But just like the little pig that she is, she can’t stop from throwing herself at the attention trough.
You hate women and yet you objectify them. You are incredibly intelligent. Now whose a constant contradiction?
Again, Fat Alberta will get no response from yours truly. In all cases, this is how women should be dealt with. If you’re not getting exactly what you want to the letter and with the excitement you so desire, stop dealing with them. The only “explanation” anyone ever owed anyone was whether or not Harrison Ford was a robot in Blade Runner — and what the fuck happened to Tony Soprano? Did he get shot or what? And no one ever got that explanation.
You don’t owe any gold-brick woman anything when you decide to drop her off of a gold pier; least of all an “explanation”.
Five minutes later, I received this.
Here’s your picture.
Blair
She also included a link to her MySpace page, which I will not include to protect your appetite.
Moo.
-Dick
And thus concludes today’s lesson on how to deal with women. They don’t think like men. They don’t have feelings. Women are just broken vending machines. Hit the right buttons at the right time and you get whatever you want. Unfortunately, none of its any good and at best, it’s past its expiration date by seven years.
Just so you’re aware, your comments, opinions and views are nothing to me.
You need to be hospitalized.
If calling people fat and encouraging them to engage in eating disordered behaviours are the only insults you behold, perhaps you should go back to primary school? It’s displaying your mental capacity when you degrade people in such an immature way.
Blair
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DICTIONARY. CAN YOU USE IT?
i have such what?
Comments or insults? You have such euphemism.
@Vindication- fat women are worth 6 pages of comments.
that was easy.
There ARE standards for beauty, and fat women are worthless. End of story.
That was easy.
Huh? I dont care, I find fat men to be gross, I dont blame you for thinking fat women are gross, haha. Tits on a man is enough to make me turn away.
Well now I’m going to say something that will end your respect for me; its a little ugly truth about male sexuality. You want to know the main reason why men are not attracted to fat women? Its because WE CANNOT GET AN ERECTION FOR THEM.
Yes, I imagine that shocks women, b/c they think we get an erection b/c we fall in love with them. Wrong.
Maybe this is as bad as when you found out that there really isn’t Santa Claus.
@no manhole
I agree with you, I think that the average size has increased over the years to compensate for the weight gain that we have achieved. The average size is becoming larger, maybe not significantly, but certaintly has risen.
hmm… I have some respect now for you.
Ladies: what I would like to see that there be some acknowledgement from women that they do not have the final say what beauty is, and that men are not barbarians for input into this.
Basically what guys want are women that still have some curves to her; Marilyn Monroe pulled it off in a size 12-14, but most women don’t, and these women are just way to frickin fat. It doesn’t have to be this way, and my peev with this is that it increases the rate of disesaes in the US and maybe the most important reason for our health care crises in our country.
Men , of course, should try to be at a healthy weight as well.
Yes I realize that… but I very rarely see any women who are naturally THAT thin unless they are like 15 or something…
I know, but in your original post you said “any” meaning all, not most.
Yes I know, but the AVERAGE female is a size 12-14 is what I am saying. and MOST tiny females are anorexic… I dont blame then due to the societal pressures…
There was someone in my school who is that naturally thin. She’s over 6 ft. tall and is unbelievably thin, probably is much, much less than a size 10. But, I’m just saying that not everyone that small is anorexic, there are other factors that could cause them to be thin
Most people are not naturally THAT thin. Considering the AVERAGE female is a size 12-14.
I’ll agree for the most part, there are many unnaturally thin people who feel they must be due to such high standards. I had a bulimic friend who felt those standards to such an extreme point. But, there are many things that can cause someone to have smaller measurements. There’s their metabolism, height, and even genetics, so they aren’t necessarily anorexic.
Come on, can you think? Try doing it slowly. A website and one or two things is not enough to prove that’s the same guy. Even with one or two similar structures in the face that could be a completely different person. Even the police fuck things like this up, by looking for someone with similar details they’ve put multiple innocent people in jail. You’re so busy trying to be a know it all you’re not getting enough proof to back your opinion. Man, it’s like explaining politics to a kid.
Depends on the thinness… and you can’t necessarily believe one approach and ignore all the others because it depends on the person and what they find attractive… and in today’s society women are taught to starve themselves in order to be beautiful, I know 12 and 14 year olds who barely eat and compline they are fat because they weight 96lbs. 20 years ago… or so, Marilyn Munroe was considered BEAUTIFUL not she is considered overweight according to the BMI chart, make sense? Not really.
Sociobiologists argue men like thinness for the simple reason it shows the woman is not pregnant, and thus a viable mating partner.
Yep. More information by the waist-to-hip-ratio deal:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waist-hip_ratio