Female Pioneers In Aviation
We’ve all heard of Paris Hilton and Lady Godiva — she was a noblewoman who rode naked on horseback through 11th century England in order to embarrass her husband, a shrewd businessman, for his oppressive road taxes.
Like self-esteem and a reputation that doesn’t involve the words “great” and “cocksucker”, roads don’t build themselves.
Or maybe her husband wasn’t taxing his people enough and that was Lady Godiva’s way of protesting the second grade silk she was forced to wipe her ass with. We’ve all seen women do far stupider things. I’ve seen a woman dump the contents of a cup all over herself because someone told her something was written on the bottom. I’ve seen a woman protest Hooters by screaming out in front of it with a huge fuck-off sign all day. That’s called Human Directional Advertising and if anyone ever needs a lesson on how to do it, ask that woman. I’ve never seen a Hooters so packed.
I’ve also seen a woman who thought she was a pilot!
Women have had a rich history of failure and embarrassment in the field of aviation. Men have never gone in for that sort of shit. We leave it to monkeys to embarrass themselves and when all the aviation kinks are worked out — and all the fried monkey is scrapped off — we climb aboard and kick ass.
Amelia Earhart
If you don’t count Paris Hilton or people who don’t shit outside, Amelia Earhart is possibly the most famous woman in history.
What’s she famous for? Getting lost.
At least flashing your snizz will get you a record deal. God knows Paris Hilton sings like Big Bird with a deviated septum — or maybe that’s what she looks like; I forget where the septum is and how big it’s supposed to be — either way, my point is simple: getting lost is worth nothing. It’s worth even less when you get lost doing something Charles Lindbergh has already done.
I accomplish more than Amelia Earhart every day when I successfully navigate my way to the bathroom to take a shit. I have never once gotten lost.
Kara Hultgreen
Kara Hultgreen should be on the Fuck Up Dollar Bill. That’s a special dollar bill I just invented of no exact currency, but which covers all debts incurred by wrecking another man’s Ferrari into a fucking telephone pole.
The Fuck Up Dollar Bill is a few hundred grand, and that’s exactly how much Kara Hultgreen wasted by being the first woman navy fighter pilot, and then promptly catapulting her brand new F-14 off the deck of the USS Abraham and into the goddamn Pacific Ocean. It was calm, it was the middle of the day, and the maneuver has been described as “routine” by male naval experts.
I’m not going to bore anyone with the technical details of the fuck up. If you want a theory on what happened, offer a woman some advice and wait until she slaps you in the face. Now imagine doing that with headphones, a decorated air force uniform, and a fifty pound flight manual in your lap.
“Pull out” means the same thing on an aircraft carrier that it does in the bedroom.
When the Navy was done finding absolutely no fault in Kara’s aircraft, they spent several more hundred thousand dollars pulling her off the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. If feminists ran the Navy, they would have nailed her to a cross.
That Psycho Lady-Astronaut
When I heard about that psycho lady astronaut going nuts over her boyfriend, I immediately thought of one thing:
Wow I bet that chick is slightly less lousy than all other women in bed.
I’m sure all men did the same. Maybe that’s how she became an astronaut. I wouldn’t put it past NASA to bring common-room whores up into the stars to combat boredom. Isn’t that why women are allowed in the army?
Lady Godiva
Amelia Earhart
Kara Hultgreen
Lisa Nowak
Ferrari
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When a man is the first to do something fantastic, it’s an achievement, but it’s expected so it’s noteworthy only for the sake of complete documentation.
When a woman does something fantastic that man has already done, it’s an achievement, but even though it’s already been done before it’s still totally unexpected. Even if it wasn’t done correctly.
Like when a kid makes a goofy looking drawing it still goes on the fridge even if it wasn’t any good to encourage them. Otherwise, they get sad and mentally damaged for life.
A man just tries harder next time around regardless of praise.
Too late Dick. She started looking stupid when she crowned.
Good correction. Otherwise, you would have looked stupid.
-Dick
Another woman storming in for an oversized helping of egg on her face….
—-
Charles Augustus Lindbergh was an American pilot famous for the first solo, non-stop flight across the Atlantic, from Roosevelt Field, Long Island to Paris in 1927 in the “Spirit of St. Louis.”
Ameilia Earhart the first woman to receive the Distinguished Flying Cross, which she was awarded as the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.(1928)
wright brothers. Oops.
Charles Lindbergh didn’t invent flying it wast the right brothers. Maybe you should do your research DICK!!!
you took the words right out of my mouth
You don’t have to fucking ask for fucks sake. It’s been asked a million times to a million other men by a million other women. Nowhere do any of us say we hate women, so for fucks sake, and I stress FOR FUCKS SAKE drop it. It frustrates everyone when you women ask pointless questions and then whinge when you don’t get sufficient answers, so please just fuck off.
*D3C*
What are these previous posts you are talking about? And which other websites have I been in? And what documentary am I making?
Tom,
I just have to ask. What have women done to you that makes you feel hatefull twards them. You have been on many other “websites” and are making a documentary about how women torture their husbands. Everyone on here that thinks that men are better has a good (or bad) reason. Most men on here just think that they are better, not because a women did something to them specificaly, but just because they think that, but they don’t hate them. You however, seeing your previous posts, seem to have a specific, unusual, true “hate” for women? So, I was wondering, whats YOUR reason?
The line between farcical stupidity and feminist boilerplate is invisible. Well done, ed.
-Dick
http://indianmarriage.rediffblogs.com - check that out. How women torture their husbands in India. Make sure to read the comments of that article. You will be shocked to see how a man committed suicide cause of his wife.
The sarcasm was literally dripping off that comment… So yes, he was fucking kidding you.
You’re fucking kidding me right? ‘Stop being meanyheads..’ ? Gimme a fucking break.
You cant really blame her..it isn’t her fault..they didnt refit the plane/jet to her specifications..they had her try and fly a plane/jet designed for men by a bunch of men just because she said she could do what a man does…that is so sexist. Sort of like the military or the cops or hell…sick leave in any ordinary job… She is a person, not a woman, she can do just as good as any man as soon as they tailor the position/standards/requirements around what she can do. See…fair…!!! Now stop being meanyheads and picking on the tough independant sex…you may hurt her feelings.
Elchauv should have it up soon. Check the forums for updates - the “Man media” section.
Somebody link to Dick’s latest trip to Dr. Mangina as soon as possible, please.
-Solomon
Somebody link to Dick’s latest trip to Dr. Mangina as soon as possible.
Good stuff Dick and right on the money.
The only reason women do anything is to prove a point. To prove that they can “do everything a man can do”. We wouldn’t have this problem if we would just remove a woman’s right to speak.
Affirmative action is about giving women the freedoms to access the same things men access. The primary tactic is to LOWER THE STANDARD so that they can accomplish whatever it is that men have been doing for generations. A better tactic would be to raise better-equiped, smarter women… but that’s an oxymoron, and thereafore wrong.
The only thing that women can do that men can’t is bleed regularly and give birth. We could accomplish the first one, but that would be stupid. The second thing is a waste anyways. Fuck women, fuck affirmative action, and fuck female pilots.