Female Pioneers In Aviation
We’ve all heard of Paris Hilton and Lady Godiva — she was a noblewoman who rode naked on horseback through 11th century England in order to embarrass her husband, a shrewd businessman, for his oppressive road taxes.
Like self-esteem and a reputation that doesn’t involve the words “great” and “cocksucker”, roads don’t build themselves.
Or maybe her husband wasn’t taxing his people enough and that was Lady Godiva’s way of protesting the second grade silk she was forced to wipe her ass with. We’ve all seen women do far stupider things. I’ve seen a woman dump the contents of a cup all over herself because someone told her something was written on the bottom. I’ve seen a woman protest Hooters by screaming out in front of it with a huge fuck-off sign all day. That’s called Human Directional Advertising and if anyone ever needs a lesson on how to do it, ask that woman. I’ve never seen a Hooters so packed.
I’ve also seen a woman who thought she was a pilot!
Women have had a rich history of failure and embarrassment in the field of aviation. Men have never gone in for that sort of shit. We leave it to monkeys to embarrass themselves and when all the aviation kinks are worked out — and all the fried monkey is scrapped off — we climb aboard and kick ass.
Amelia Earhart
If you don’t count Paris Hilton or people who don’t shit outside, Amelia Earhart is possibly the most famous woman in history.
What’s she famous for? Getting lost.
At least flashing your snizz will get you a record deal. God knows Paris Hilton sings like Big Bird with a deviated septum — or maybe that’s what she looks like; I forget where the septum is and how big it’s supposed to be — either way, my point is simple: getting lost is worth nothing. It’s worth even less when you get lost doing something Charles Lindbergh has already done.
I accomplish more than Amelia Earhart every day when I successfully navigate my way to the bathroom to take a shit. I have never once gotten lost.
Kara Hultgreen
Kara Hultgreen should be on the Fuck Up Dollar Bill. That’s a special dollar bill I just invented of no exact currency, but which covers all debts incurred by wrecking another man’s Ferrari into a fucking telephone pole.
The Fuck Up Dollar Bill is a few hundred grand, and that’s exactly how much Kara Hultgreen wasted by being the first woman navy fighter pilot, and then promptly catapulting her brand new F-14 off the deck of the USS Abraham and into the goddamn Pacific Ocean. It was calm, it was the middle of the day, and the maneuver has been described as “routine” by male naval experts.
I’m not going to bore anyone with the technical details of the fuck up. If you want a theory on what happened, offer a woman some advice and wait until she slaps you in the face. Now imagine doing that with headphones, a decorated air force uniform, and a fifty pound flight manual in your lap.
“Pull out” means the same thing on an aircraft carrier that it does in the bedroom.
When the Navy was done finding absolutely no fault in Kara’s aircraft, they spent several more hundred thousand dollars pulling her off the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. If feminists ran the Navy, they would have nailed her to a cross.
That Psycho Lady-Astronaut
When I heard about that psycho lady astronaut going nuts over her boyfriend, I immediately thought of one thing:
Wow I bet that chick is slightly less lousy than all other women in bed.
I’m sure all men did the same. Maybe that’s how she became an astronaut. I wouldn’t put it past NASA to bring common-room whores up into the stars to combat boredom. Isn’t that why women are allowed in the army?
Lady Godiva
Amelia Earhart
Kara Hultgreen
Lisa Nowak
Ferrari
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Anyone who qualifies as a USN aviator doesn’t deserve shit from random internet people. I exempt Dick from that, btw.
That said, were things eased for Lt. Hultgreen?
So it would seem, much though Secretary Cohen would like to have denied it.
She served honorably. She fucked up.
It happens.
Unless you’ve at least been shot at in a war zone (I can cop to that), or better yet, served your country and been shot at, I’m not sure you really qualify to say much.
Look, I agree with a lot of what you gentlemen have to say.
I despise and detest the push for “equality” in the USN.
I think that lead Lt. Kara Hultgreen to her death.
But … making fun of her, that’s assholic. Dick gets a pass. He’s reporting facts. He doesn’t get an infinite pass, but he gets one.
The rest? Leave it to making fun of other women.
-wolfe
Lying down and rating your man on how well he satisfies you without doing anything in return … is proof of how women suck in bed.
“Pull out” means the same thing on an aircraft carrier that it does in the bedroom.
Thanks Dick - Now I know what to write on my X-mas cards. Of course I’ll quote you and your URL. That’ll get some clingy females of my back.
woman suck in bed? ARE YOU A HOMO? its okay im cool wit gay people.
Right on point as usual Dick. Look to decades of me saving Lois ass to see how these so called “people” practically waltz into danger. Then blame men of course. Why can’t they let men do what we do and just keep their mouths shut?
Only when you’re more concerned with the quality of the friendship rather than fitting into the much larger “in” crowd circle of friends. One of the best male role models in my life said to me as a youngster “if. you can’t have good friends, you’re better off not having any at all.” Its seems to be a vastly bigger problem with women though. Bad friends as a man will lead you astray, out you in positions you’d rather not be in and indeed shouldn’t be in. The worst will attempt to sly out with your female companion (which is as much her fault for not being faithful as it his for being an arsewipe). But you have to REALLY cross a fellow man to have him turn utterly spiteful/vindictive and undermine your entire life and credibility among your peers and the rest of society. Most women seem capable of this without batting an eyelid.
…yeah..sometimes ur lucky and u dont get friends like that tho
But guys forget about it and move on, while girls then try and backstab and degrade behind their friends’ back to try and get the man that they wanted. Big difference.
*D3C*
Wait, I realised, girls have that to, except you look at her and go “…you bitch..”
Wow…swearing is a real big part of us, huh?
lol
Or what about when you manage to get the phone number and a date with the finest looking lass they’ve seen all year. Your mates look at ya with shitface grins and just say “you’re a cunt..”
Its one of the biggest compliments there is, hehehe
Most women refuse to be responsible for anything.
Funny how they are so quick to tell a man he should be responsible.
hehe..where u reading the thingy i had with i think it was geeza…coz that kinda came up.
or was that completely unrelated?
How bout a kunt punch?
Fred Noonan.
“Funny cunt” is a typical slang term in Aus. It refers to someone who is extremely funny, and is not derogatory at all.
*D3C*
I think most women ‘choose’ not to be responsible for their own feelings. Accepting that responsibility might lead them in the direction of some self-control and we all know what comes after that . . . accountability.
for them NOT to
Hey, Dick said NOT for them to punch us in the face, because that is all we have.